The Horrifying Sequel
by Kaaps N. Senugat
Summary: Well, Exactly what it says on the tin...A sequel that shall hopefully frighten you all out of your skins.
1. Four Years later: Johnny C

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own JtHM, IFS, nor Squee! Or any characters originating from those stories, Jhonen C. Vasquez does.

**WARNING:** Personalities will be off slightly!

A/N: Well here goes my first attempt at a fanfiction of any sort. Here are some rules about the spoken mumblings of various characters:

"Normal speech"

"**Emphasis**"

"SCREAMING"

"_Telepathy (Head-voices only)_"

Or any possible combination you could think of.

_Sounds (creaking doors, people getting stabbed, etc.)_

Here goes nothin'

**The Horrifying Sequel**

**Book 1**

**Cover: A flaming bus careens down an empty highway**

**Chapter 1: Four Years Later: Johnny C.**

Gravel under running shoes that was the only sound on the mysteriously quiet highway as the obscenely thin murderer walked down the side of the interstate like a demented Forrest Gump. "Hey Nny how you felling today?" the ceramic burger boy asked as he mysteriously appeared on the shoulder of the road. The maniac stopped his trek and turned towards the head voice, "Be quiet Meat, you know I don't feel any emotion anymore"

"A yes you've 'awakened the insect" as you stated so long ago, it does not matter you are going to start feeling again, it's only natural, just like it is natural to eat regularly, I mean you're what? 85 pounds now, you were barely a healthy weight before you left; now it's just obscene!" the ceramic thing gesticulated grandiosely.

"When I get back into town, I am going to buy myself a cherry brainfreezy." He stated as he turned to continue his trek. The ceramic Reverend somehow managed to follow just behind Nny, "That's hardly a required food, but oh well, I guess it's something"

"Finally, starting to see it my way, eh?" Johnny knew the voice was only trying to manipulate him, but new if he tried to argue the little voice would only continue his current 'feel emotion' Speech. After about 30 minutes Rev. Meat spoke again. "When we get back, maybe you should try apologizing to Devi" at that the murderer felt the familiar pang of emotion, but quickly beat it out of his mind. "She hates me, remember? Besides I already apologized to her."

"Yes but it wasn't a very good apology" Nny turned to see the disembodied head of a rabbit floating alongside him "Oh, Nailbunny, how long have you been in there?"

"I was always here Nny, and seriously your last apology was a joke! That recording where you said you intended to annihilate her in the 'nicest' sense of the word and 'give her your nothing' is hardly an appropriate request for forgiveness" the rabbit pointed out something that would have been obvious to a sane person. "yes well after that little stunt I pulled before leaving I doubt she would even want to see me out of the corner of her eye." The thin man spoke, barely noticing the van coming down the road.

"Are you sure she even knows that was you?" the chubby burger boy said from his perch. "Yeah, cause the first guy she's going to think of upon seeing a dismembered human heart on her door step is that vampire guy who burst int-"

BEEEEEEEEEPPP! The Maniacs words were drowned out the vans horn

"Hello there, need a lift?" the driver cheerfully asked, "Ummmm, actually yes I do" he responded, hoping to get away from the feeling-obsessed ceramic statue

"Okeedokee then, where are you headed?" the driver cheerfully asked while the side door slid open. "The next three cities over, off of exit 10d" he explained as he climbed in and noticed the other occupants. "Sorry about the crowding I just can't resist helping people" She stated as the van began to pick up speed, cheerfully adding "It will be about an hour why don't you get to know each other?"

"Uuuuhhh, Well my names Johnny C. I've been on an extended vacation and felt like just returning to my city." The antisocial maniac being, oddly, the first person to speak. "Well, I am Mr. Nevers of Nerve Publishing, I was returning from an attempt to buy out a rival company when my limousine broke down" the monkey-suited executive with a scar on his forehead stated.

"I am Collette" the plainly dressed female stated, "and I am Dick" her male companion stated, "We are soul mates." The enthusiastically stated in unison "We normally would not be using such an environmentally abhorrent mode of transportation but there is a revolution occurring in your town that we simply must get to." Dick humbly explained as he looked around the van in contempt.

"I am Rev. Labeouf, and I am also heading to the same town as you four" the elderly and cleanly dressed man behind them stated "It would seem God has provided us all with helpful transportation, perhaps for a reason"

"You foolish old man" Colette began, "There's no such thing as a god, only the natural laws discovered by science" Dick continued. The Reverend countered with some sort of argument, and this colorful discussion continued on for a while.

The driver tried to calm everyone down.

Nny thought about the fat lawn gnome of a god he met in heaven.

No one noticed the disheveled man standing in the back until he began to scream.

"I AM WONKO THE SANE, OF THE HOMELESS INSANE, INSANE" the lunatic started. "I SPEAK WITH THE POWER OF EXPLODED ORDINACES, ORDINACES. I EAT DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS AIR AT ALL MEALS, MEALS, MY SOLE PURPOSE IS TO MEMORIZE AND QUOTE ALL THINGS HAPPY NOODLE BOY, BOY. YOU GOT ANY NEW ISSUES, ISSUES?" He screeched as he pointed towards Johnny

"No, sorry" The maniac meekly stated while trying to recover his hearing, dejected the screaming hobo sat back down. "You're the illustrator of that garbage he tried to quote to us?" Mr. Nevers questioned, Johnny nodded in silence. "What's wrong with you man? How messed up do you have to be to write that wackiness", Dick continued the interrogation.

'He didn't really use the word I don't like, He didn't really use the word I don't like' Johnny repeated in his head in an attempt to calm the rising anger, he could feel his hands twitching for a dagger_. "What are you talking about Nny? He used __**that**__ word! of all the words he could have used he used __**that **__word"_ Nny began to sweat as he looked for the irritating figurine but failed to find it.

"Yes I agree I have never seen such a disturbing comic in my entire life" the Reverend added.

"FUCK!" the maniac exploded, "WHY AM A ALWAYS BEING JUDGED, MOCKED FOR WHAT I DO, AND HOW I LOOK? CAN'T YOU SHITHEADS GO FIVE MINUTES WITHOUT DISCRIMINATING OR COMMENTING AGAINST SOMEONE FOR BEING DIFFERENT?" He knew they couldn't but said it anyway. "AND YOOUUUU" he screamed as he pointed towards Dick "OF ALL THE WORDS YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY USED TO DESCRIBE MY COMIC YOU **HAD** TO USE THAT ONE FUCKING WORD!"

The hobo observed this interaction with glee. After a few moments Dick managed to scream a retort "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU FUCKING LUNATIC! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK" He took a moment to search for something else to say. "AND ALL I SAID WAS THAT YOUR COMIC WAS FUCKIN' WACKY! WHICH IT-" Dicks retort was cut short, as the deranged serial killer plunged a dagger deep into his neck. The hobo laughed with glee, the two elder men sat rooted in place with shock, and Colette could do nothing but scream her companion's name.

"HOLY SHIT!" the driver screamed as she lost control of her van. As the vehicle swerved and flipped over multiple times the dagger repeatedly became lodged and dislodged in the flesh of the other occupants. As the severely damaged van rolled to a stop Johnny realized that the weapon had become lodged in the metal inches from his head.

Retrieving his knife he looked around at the carnage within the van as he wrenched the deformed door open and noticed that he was only a few hundred feet from his intended exit.

"I no die! I no die!" he giggled manically as he ran down the now empty exit ramp; while other cars were cut off by the now burning wreckage of the large van. He barely noticed the figurine which had taken up its position on the shoulder, "You're always a slave to something" it said with smug satisfaction.

**A/N:** Mr. Nevers is there just because I felt like it, and anyone who remembers Transformers: Beast Wars knows what the hobos screaming about.

As for Nny's attempt to rid himself of emotion/need Meat is right it's impossible at least the "need" part is. However, it is possible to suppress emotion. Which is what Johnny is attempting to do—and failing.


	2. Johnny's Return

Chapter 2: Johnny's Return

A/N: in this chapter Johnny wanders around town for a while seeing how it's changed.

He had been wandering around the city for a few hours and if there was one thing he was sure about it was that the town had changed. It wasn't that there was more graffiti there had always been graffiti, but he had noticed it changed, it had become more—he didn't quite know the word for it but he noticed that there were several distinct styles, and in some places one had been violently removed and replaced by another.

"huh" the noodle thin man humphed to himself 'where'd that thought come from?' he thought to himself as he turned into an alley which he had formerly used as a private place to kill or knock out victims.

"I thought it would be quite obvious." Rev. Meat stated as he appeared on a dumpster. "You used to be an artist, and although it is frowned upon by the authority's graffiti is art, so therefore it is easy for you to analyze."

"Yes well I still don't remember painting anything" Johnny reflected as he sat on a box next to the burger boys perch. "And what happened to the 'feel emotion' bit you've been entertaining for the past three years?"

"Memories can always trigger the most intense emotion" the figurine explained, "don't you remember your dreams?"

"I hardly see how crushing a man's wind pipe with nothing but a bag of ramen noodles is supposed to make me feel something." The maniac stated as he stood from his resting spot.

"You know that's not the dream I am talking about" Meat continued, "where are you going now?" he inquired as the deranged man made his way towards a nearby electronics store.

The doorbell chimed as he entered the door, a faint "I'll be out in a minute" could be heard from the back rooms. "What are you up to nny?" a small voice to his right inquired. "oh hello again nail bunny, I'm thinking about getting a game system for Squee" the murderer explained to the disembodied rabbits head as he looked through the selections.

"Little Todd? What makes you think he'll like seeing you again after you disappeared following your little 'slip' as you call it" The ceramic reverend ranted from a nearby shelf

"I'm probably the only human being to ever really care for him, that's what" Johnny explained as he chose one of the newer systems and walked to the counter. "Well that may be but how are you going to care for him now?" the zealous figurine questioned from the counter.

"I don't need emotion to make sure he is safe" the murderer explained as he reached for his wallet. "What? You mean like the child's parents never showed anything more than resentment and hatred towards their child?"

"Meat lies Johnny! You don't need emotion to make sure that kid has a good childhood, although you may want to think about cleaning up your house, it's a real hell hole." Nail bunny argued from his floating position.

"Can I help you?" an obese bearded man asked from behind the counter. "Ah, Yes I want to buy this" the maniac responded as he placed the box on the counter. "You sure? The sequel systems coming out in a month." The fat man explained. "hmmmm, Nah I'm sure I want this one." Nny stated as he got a few blood stained bills from his wallet.

Without even noticing the blood the cashier took the bills and retrieved the necessary change from the register. "Say, aren't a bit old to be playing video games" he asked as he placed the box in a plastic bag. "It's not for me, it's for this kid" He explained as he reached for the bag. "And what? I bet yous thinking you helpin' the kid, eh?*"

Johnny turned to see a large muscular man wearing an employee's shirt. "ummmm well yes I—" the large man interrupted him "Ohhhh so you admit it you pervert!" he pulled out a small switch blade. "I ain't gonna let you hurt that child!"

"PERVERT! What the FUCK are you talking about you stupid hillbilly" the maniac screamed "Yaahhhhh!" the bumpkin shouted as he lunged towards Johnny. Calmly, the murder grabbed the guy's wrist, took out his own blade and hacked off the guy's knife arm just above the elbow.

"Yyyyaaarghhh!" the man exclaimed as he fell over coating half the merchandise with his own blood. "FUCK!" Johnny turned to find the fat cashier attempting to load what appeared to be a shotgun. His futile attempt at self-defense was cut short as Johnny nearly decapitated him with his blade. The man slumped over then fell off his stool.

*gurgle, gurgle* the fat man attempted to breath while drowning in his own blood and fat. "smooth Johnny, Real smooth" the ceramic figurine mocked from the counter, while Johnny scanned the store to see if there were any witnesses, his gaze quickly zeroed in on several sets of keys behind the counter. 'Was this the store that made house calls? I can't remember' he thought to himself.

"Well, I do need a new car" the maniac thought out loud as he grabbed a pair and hopped over the counter. In the back rooms he found a door that lead to a private parking lot filled with white and black cars that had purple "Nerd Troop" logo on the black doors. "awww, I was really hoping for a non-company car."

"Nny you really don't have room to be picky" the gravity-mocking rabbits head berated. "Besides after your last car exploded a rusty engine and four flat tires would be an improvement!" the deceased rodent exclaimed. After a few minutes of searching for the car that matched his key the spree killer drove off in a brand new car.

As he drove through the heart of downtown he began to notice several groups, some with one pant leg rolled up others with a specific tattoo. "Those people don't seem very fond of each other" the floating rabbits head observed from the passenger side head rest. "Yeah I'm surprised they haven't started fighting" Meat commented from the dash. At that moment the two groups rushed into the street and began to beat the ever-loving shit out of each other. "Spoke to soon Meat!" Johnny shouted to the figment as he sped straight through the brawl and towards a more familiar part of town.

It was nearly midnight when he reach the familiar sight of the 24/7 store. He got up out of his newly stolen car and went in to the familiar sight of the brainfreezy machine. He felt a small hint of joy as he filled up the jumbo-size cup with Cherry Doom flavor. That joy was quickly crushed as he turned to the counter and someone bumped into him.

"Oops, sorry man." The possibly drunk client said as he attempted to hold out a hand for Johnny, not quite knowing which one was real.

"What the FUCK!" the maniac shouted as he hopped to his feet. "Do YOU know how LONG I've waited to have a Cherry Brainfreezy again?". The man was slightly startled by this reaction, "Calm d-down man iz just a buhrain Freezy!" the man stumbled slightly. "JUST A BRAIN FREEZY!" the thin man began screaming, "NO OTHER 24/7 HAS CHERRY FLAVOR, IT'S ALWAYS "BLUE-RAZZBERRY, OR STRAWBERRY," the maniac reached for the knives in his boots. "SOMETIMES THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE NORMAL FLAVORS JUST **FUCKING HAM!**" the deranged killer lunged at the drunk quickly disemboweled him.

He then turned towards the cashier, who was attempting to disengage the safety on the gun from behind the counter. Johnny promptly amputated both the man's arms sending blood splattering all over the counter and the area behind it. Then a commotion from behind alerted him to the presence of others. Whirling around he saw two men stumbling from behind the selves, seeing their friend dead on the floor they attempted to make a break for the door but were interrupted as Johnny removed most of their spines. After taking a few moments to calm himself the murderer filled up a new brainfreezy, paid the cashier for both in exact change and headed to his old shack of a home.

During his rampage the killer failed to notice the 24/7's "employee of the month" photo. Through the blood now scattered across the image a head of purple hair could be seen.

A/N: Well Johnny's back and his whole 'insect' persona is really starting to wear thin. This probably has something to do with his return to the town.


	3. Wobbly Headed Bob

**Chapter 3: Wobbly-Headed Bob**

**A/N:** Well here is my attempt at an in between chapter, you know, like the Meanwhile's or HNB, this probably won't end well, anyway – ONWARD!

"OOOOOGH!" The demonic-looking pig-thing gleefully announced its name as it jumped up and down on some squishy meaty-thing. "Oogh, Stop!" the chieftain called as he hopped down from his throne, looking saddened the warrior made way for his chief.

Upon reaching the gelatinous mass the smaller pig-thing poked and nudged it a few times with a staff. However the only response was a few twitches from what may have passed as limbs at one point. "Mr. Wobble the Dis-Respector is dead!" the leader held up his staff as he was greeted by cheers from the rest of the village. "Now, we feast!" he announced as he lead the others towards a large hut, everyone piling in like some sort of primitive, wheel-less clown car.

What felt like a few moments later Bob awoke on what felt like clouds but stank like shit. "Huh? Whaa…where am I?" he asked to no one in particular as he looked around. "Well, isn't it obvious?" a voice from behind caused Bob to turn, he sighted a tall being behind a desk.

Reading the sign above him, Bob was surprised "Heaven? But I can't be dead! I must continue my mission of bringing the truth to weaker minds!" the large-headed animal-thing exclaimed. "You don't have to worry about that, you're only having a near-death experience" the angel explained. "Besides you don't belong here" he added, "But I've done nothing but help people see the light!" Bob responded

"Yes, well, that's not what I meant" he stated before pointing in another direction. "Your world's heaven is over there"

"oh, I see" was all that Bob said before heading in the indicated direction. After a while he arrived at a shorter desk, "Oh, it's YOU" the being at the gate moaned. "What about me?" Bob inquired, "Weellllll a while ago we added "Death by Wobbly-Headed Bob" to the list of deaths that would not prevent entrance into heaven" the angel explain while rubbing the back of his head.

"Ummm, okay" Bob was wondering why being enlightened by himself did not already guarantee entrance into heaven. "Any way, don't cause any trouble while your hear" the gate keeper warned while pressing the button that opened the gates. "A tour-guide will be with you shortly" he called after the egomaniac.

While awaiting his guide Bob noticed the clouds back hear were slightly cleaner than the ones out front. "Hiya! Mishtah Bob" Bob turned to find a dog like animal behind him, "Im gonna be ur guide while ur here"

"Perhaps you could use this opportunity to learn proper grammar" Bob suggested to the guide who was now pulling him towards another gate. "I-is this purgatory or something?" Bob asked while trying to find an end to the fields of apparently catatonic anthropomorphic animals he was currently observing. "Naw dis Hay-ven, people jus wanna be happy dey hole lives dey find happiness by sittin' round here all da time" the dog-thing explaind.

"What! They want happiness!" Bob was getting kind of mad now, "I'm the one with all these unpleasant truths in my head, everyone else is always BLISSFULLY ignorant when THEY are ALIVE!" Bob began screaming.

"P-puhlease, don git angry, I hear stories, 'bout knee's" was the only thing Bobs guide could utter before bursting into flames. "uhhhh" Bob stood staring in confusion as the dog tried desperately to put himself out.

"Hey! Why'd ya' haf' ta do that?" a pig-being shouted from his chair. "I was only wondering why he thoug-" The pig cut Bob off. "ONLY wondering!" piggy shouted, "Do you even realize the pain you cause? I mean look at what you did to him" he said pointing to the chard creature. "And at least that damage can reverse itself, when you're in the world of the living your victims just die!"

"Victims? No, you are mistaken I am only helping them to see the truth, the "light" if you will." At the word "light" the pig also bursts into flames. Backing away from the conflagrating swine Bob soon found himself bumping into someone, it was an angel.

"Hello Mr. Wobbly, I have good news!" the angel said with an unnatural smile. "Really? What is it?" Bob said turning to face the being. "welp the management has decided to skip the Hell part of your tour and just send you back right away!" the happy creature stated. "Oh, well that is good-"

_FOOF!_

"Glad we stopped him before he really made some trouble" the angel mumbled as he helped put out Bobs two victims.

"Uuughhhgnnn" Bob moaned silently to himself as He returned to his body. Gathering strength he slowly opened his eyes, only for them to shoot open as he sat up in shock. "How did I get here?" he wondered out loud. Never noticing the crude canoe rowing away from the island at a break-neck pace.

**A/N:** WOW! Shortest chapter yet! Never again shall I attempt to write about Bob


	4. Four Years later: Devi D

**Chapter 4: Four Years Later: Devi D.**

**A/N:** this chapter be about a girl what works part time at a convenience store, meets some wannabe gangsters, real gangsters, crazed children, and then goes on a date which "surprisingly" ends horribly.

Enjoy.

The old, brownish car drove quickly through town cautiously avoiding the parts that had been consumed by one battle in the gang war which had erupted the several weeks before. Navigating her way through the city the driver of the vehicle located and pulled into the drive that marked the entrance to the 24/7 where she worked, and was greeted by the sight of police tape and her employer talking with a particularly large and sweaty police officer.

"Shit" she sighed as she pulled into the nearest parking space. After pulling herself from her now inactive vehicle the woman walked over to where her boss had just finished talking with the meaty police officer. "Hey, Vince what happened?" Devi inquired to her distracted boss. "Oh, Devi, I didn't see you pull in" the surprised man remarked. "Just some gang violence from that massive riot managed to find its way here." he paused to look in through a window.

"The bodies have already been taken and the cleaners will be done in about an hour, I have to go down to the precinct for a while so you'll have to open up." He curtly stated as he made his way to his own car. "Really? everything's been cleared that fast?" she asked. "Yeah this place has always been a target of horrific happenstances." He explained as he attempted to start his beat up truck. "So the cops pretty much just accept whatever shit goes down in there." He stated as the engine roared to life.

"You know, some people claim that this place is cursed and that I should sell it, and you know what I tell them?" Devi shook her head. "I tell them that my dad won this place FAIR AND SQUARE, AND THAT I'll BE DAMNED BEFORE I SELL IT." The eccentric little man screamed as he careened into the street narrowly avoiding cars and pedestrians alike.

Slightly taken aback by this maddened outburst from her normally level-headed boss Devi stood in place for a few moments before returning to her car to kill time. Glancing at the cars clock told her that she still had about 50 minutes before the store could be opened.

First she attempted to tune the radio to a station that played music that she could at least try to enjoy.

This failed.

So she searched through some CD's she had with her but found that all of them were either too scratched to play or some "positive thinking" tracks Tenna managed to slip into her collection.

She glanced over to the relatively new tablet Tenna had bought for her last birthday. "Might as well check for a new assignment." Devi sighed to herself as she picked to electronic device from the cars passenger seat. A quick scroll through her email revealed nothing new, "Well a little work is a hell of a lot better than what they overloaded me with at Nerve." Saying her thoughts out loud. 'maybe working for a lesser known company does have its benefits' she thought to herself this time.

Exiting from her email she then directed her attention to the "diary" icon and braced herself.

After the tablet had caught a nasty virus the app developed a tendency to open to random entries, usually not the most pleasant ones.

2/14/[YEAR]

Some 'romantic' psycho left a fucking heart on my door step, not the chocolate filled kind, or even the heart shaped meat slabs you're supposed to give. Nope this was an actual blood pumping heart, and you know what? Something tells me it's probably human! It was probably that little fucke-

Devi shuddered at the thought of the bloody 'gift' and the possible gifter, after clearing her head she navigated to what would become todays entry.

6/7/[YEAR+4]

Well apparently the 24/7 is cursed to be the target of 'horrific happenstances' as the boss said before running down some pedestrians. It's actually so bad that the cops reactions are just "meh" and then to get on with what they were doing. Also Vince or his Dad knew this and made a contract with those guys who clean crime scenes so I still have to work today. I was hoping to kill some time by reading the transcript of "Shrieky's terrific life of unending horror: issue 3" but they haven't sent it yet, which is odd they usually give me the script one or two days after approving the previous cover art; it seems to be a slow time for them.-

Devi stopped typing as she heard some noise from the direction of the back door. Looking in that direction revealed a man in what looked like a hazmat suit. He made a hand motion that indicated that the cleaning was over and she could begin her work day. Upon entering her place of employment Devi gaged and nearly vomited on the overwhelming smell of whatever cleaning solutions had been used. Allowing her stomach a few moments to settle she went on with her typical routine.

Checking stock: tedious and boring as hell

Re-stocking shelves: also tedious but with more movement and different scenery which almost broke the monotony, almost.

Turning on the Chili-wanker, brainfreezy machines and unlocking the front door were brief and barely noticeable tasks before she took her place behind the counter. Thankfully it was summer so most people either were sleeping in, on vacation, or at the beach so she would have the day mostly to herself.

But of course the few people who did manage to find their way here still grated her nerves.

_DING!_

The doorbell chimed as a couple youngish looking men walked in. Glancing up from the pad of paper she had been doodling on, she looked over the new arrivals. Most were wearing excessively baggy shorts that looked like they were about to lose a fight with gravity, some had shirts declaring their favorite rapper, others had tank-tops, ALL had tattoos on their exposed on arms. 'Gangsters, great, I suppose that counts as a horrific happenstance' she thought to herself as she put down the pad.

"Yo bitch! Watcha got in the place today?" the leader asked in an exaggerated "gangsta" voice. 'oh GREAT wannabe gangstas' she thought as she put on a happier face. "well we have some chili-wankers warming" pointing towards the machine, "as well as the typical brain freezies" indicating the drink dispenser to her right " and other stuff" she said as she halfheartedly motioned towards the selves.

"Hey babe why you givin' my friend a cold shoulder?" another individual asked. "To be honest? Your friends a complete asshole." Devi blatantly responded. "Wwhhaaaa?" the first guy irritatingly drew out his response, "Hey you can't talk like that to th' boss" a third wannabe shouted from the aisles. "Yeah, we some serious shit ho'" the second guy said as he made a motion that moved his shirt revealing a gun tucked haphazardly into his waistline.

Devi felt her eye twitch at the last word, 'calm down Devi you don't want to start a fight' she repeated a few times in her head 'there are four of them and all you have is a gun that rarely has more than one bullet and a bat' she rationalized before going to try and diffuse the situation. Her attempt was cut short as a large black man emerged from the back room and began yelling at the trouble makers. "Hey, yo wannabe punks get out!" he shouted as he corralled the younger persons out of the store. After shoving the last one out the door he walked back to the counter.

"Hello lil' lady, where is your boss" he said as he grinned showing yellowed teeth. "Ummm, well something horrible happened here last night and he went to the police station" Devi explained, while trying not to react to the man's horrible breath. "I don't know if he's still there."

Visibly irritated by this the man began heading to the back room, "Well, thanks anyways" he said as the door closed. Devi went back to doodling until a small voice rang through her head.

"You know you could have taken those assholes" the voice simply stated. 'There were four of them and they all probably guns that were fully loaded' Devi though back. "Why don't you actually talk? That would be so much more polite" the deceivingly tired voice asked. 'Because you're not actually speaking you're just in my head', "I am not in your head!" the voice sounded shocked, "I'm in your closet still impaled on this GODDAMNED canvas" the doll retorted telepathically. 'EXACTLY!' this seemed to shut the voice up for a while.

The next hour seemingly stretched onwards for what felt like days. The few actual customer's consisted mainly of brats not incarcerated in school and their exasperated parents, yet the store remained mostly empty her time was mostly spent sketching out ideas for personal paintings or arguing with Sickness.

_DING!_

Attempting to juggle both sketching and a somewhat heated debate with the crippled head voice Devi failed to notice the bell until the new customer was already at the counter and handing her a business card. Taking a second to shift herself back to reality Devi managed to make out the title on the card.

"The Defective Head Meat Institute"

'Oh FUCK! Was I talking out loud? I should have gotten that damned cell phone head set thing!' inwardly panicking Devi managed to maintain a calm exterior. "Ah, Dr.—" glancing at the card for his name, "—Kopf, how may I help you?"

"Well Miss I come here to prepare you" he said, taking a momentary pause. "You see we at the D.H.M.I. are attempting to reintegrate some of our more stable child patients back into society through exposure to public places." The psychologist explained. After glancing around the basically deserted store a few times Devi responded "Are you sure? This is hardly public, I mean it's out in the open but there's no one here"

"Yesss, well, you know, baby steps and what not." The head-poker mumbled as if avoiding some painful memory. "Anywho, most of the patients are relatively harmless, just try not to make eye contact." He said as he headed towards the door. Nodding slightly Devi watched as a large white van pulled up and several small individuals got out, she could barely make out what was being said.

"Okay everyone!" the doctor raised his voice to be heard. "We are going to attempt to experience some normal social interaction today." He continued as several orderlies appeared behind the children. "You have all been given some money for purchases, and that is what it is to be used for, nothing else." Kopf added as he stepped aside to let the children in.

Most appeared to be relatively normal, a few where twitchy and at least one was in a strait jacket and accompanied by orderlies. They mulled about for a few minutes, with little happening Devi let herself get pulled into a drawing trance. Only to be pulled out of it a few moments later by a large Cherry Doom Brain-freezy placed on the counter.

"Well, hello little guy, will that be all?" she asked the obligatory cashier question of the nervous black-haired child standing before the counter. "Yup" the curt answer came meekly, "well then that will be $4.25." Devi said as she punched the necessary keys on the register. The drawer popped open as she waited for the kid to rummage through the small D.H.M.I. logo-ed wallet-purse-thingy, instead of handing her five singles the small human took great care too count out exact change for his purchase. The mental patient took his drink from the counter and scooted off to the area of the doors. Returning to her trance Devi became so engrossed in her drawing she failed to notice her next customer's purchases land on the counter; in fact she ignored him until he began to scream.

"FEMALE SERVER-HYUUMAN!" the outburst startled her and the pencil she had been using fell to the floor. "The Great ZIM requires these snacks for ZIIIMM!" She directed her attention towards the small green boy now at the counter.

'wait, GREEN?' Blinking in confusion at the odd colored boy as her hands went into auto-pilot tallying the cost of the kids items. "That will be $11 exactly" she said, after which the egomaniac handed her ten dollars. "You're short a dollar, uhhh, Zim?" she explained wondering if the name he had used was his or a figment.

The bizarre child began shaking with rage but quickly calmed and shifted into what looked like an attempt at "puppy dog" eyes. 'Does he honestly think that will work on me?' Devi though as she fantasized herself leaping over the counter and kicking the boy in the gut and out the shops door, she quickly pulled herself out of it. "Aaawwww, you should do it, I mean he's just a weird green egomaniac, not like any one would care" Sickness complained, trying to think of a retort Devi was distracted by some movement.

It was the brain-freezy kid, and he was handing Zim a dollar he had left over from his purchase. "HA! My clever mind tricks work on the puny minded squeek-hyuman!" the green kid declared as he snatched the money from the other kids hand.

"So I guess that makes me some sort of genius." Devi commented. Taking a moment to absorb this, the egomaniac screamed "You lie!" before running off with his snacks. "so, whats exactly wrong with him?" Devi asked the other kid who was now slurping on his freezy.

"He's an alien" the kid stated matter-of-factly, "okaayy then" the cashier-ess answered back. "So he announced rather loudly what his name was, what is yours?" she inquired, attempting to help with the whole 'reintegration' thing. "Well, my name is Todd, but most people call me Squee"

"Squee? Why squee?" Devi asked the boy. But before he could answer a commotion from the back of the store caused him to emit his trade mark sound. Both looked toward the ruckus and caught sight the strait-jacketed youth who now had his teeth buried into the leg of the larger orderly who was screaming bloody murder.

"Okay! Everyone out now, right now!" Kopf exclaimed as he and the remaining orderlies ushered the other kids out. "Ummm, you can send us the bill." He remarked with a devious grin, leaving Devi to clean up the mess of blood, fizzed out soda, and exploded chip bags.

**A/N:** Well, I know I said there would be a date this but this is my longest chapter yet, so that will come later, probably after Squee's chapter.

Also Zim is there to study how humans deal with "defectives", perhaps to learn some way to control a humans mind that does not involve giant invasive probes, or to gather an army of crazed lunatics.


	5. Four Years later: Squee

**Chapter 5: Four Years Later: Squee**

**A/N:** here is Squee's chapter. He's just a terrified little child ain't he?

Squee sat in the back of the D.H.M.I.'s transport van, slowly finishing his brain freezy on the ride back to the Institute. He was positioned near that window leading into the driver's cabin, most of the other kids were afraid of the orderlies so it immediately became a safe haven for him.

Even if the orderlies scared him, the crazier children scared him more.

And then there was Zim, positioned half way between Squee and the other patients devouring his snacks. Occasionally he would stop and a couple spider-like arms would extend from his "backpack" allowing him to take notes on the others behavior or the drooling mass of strait-jacketed meat that had formerly been a crazed cannibalistic 13 year old.

He felt the van come to a halt and, standing on his tip-toes witnessed the injured orderly being carted into a hospital. "Squeak-hyuman! Why are we not being let out?" standing down Todd turned to find himself face to face with Zim, "We have stopped why are we not being let out?" the alien continued. "They're dropping off that guy that got bit by Ken." He calmly explained.

"hmmm" Zim mumbled something about an escape before returning to his seat.

It was confusing to Todd how no one seemed to realize the alien right in front of them. Well, not everyone, there was that scythe-haired kid who showed up a few weeks ago screaming about it to everyone. He was shot with a few tranquilizers then thrown into a cell; later a scary jaw-haired girl showed up and dragged his limp body away.

_"He's an alien invader come to destroy the human race! You should set him on fire."_ despite the absence of the bear shmee, managed to communicate. 'Yeah, well he may be an invader but he doesn't seem very good at it, I mean he did get himself locked up.' Squee had quickly learned not to talk with shmee aloud, he got zapped less that way.

_"But he's planning an escape! You have to warn someone!"_ the disembodied voice continued. 'No one's going to believe me' the boy thought back to his imaginary friend. At that moment the van came to a second halt, then turned and began backing up, the back doors were opened a few seconds later. As the nurses led them through the institute Squee became increasingly unsettled by the insane rambling emanating from some of the rooms.

He however, found relief as they entered the common room for the unstable children's ward.

He immediately grabbed a few sheets of paper and began rewriting some of his stories from memory. His new roommate, the cannibal currently drooling all over another couch, had, for some reason decided to snack on some of Squee's stories instead of the writer himself.

The nurses had joked "at least he's regular now" or "he needed some fiber anyway"

Shmee wanted to burn them.

Surprising himself, the small child found himself agreeing with the pyromaniac.

After refinishing his first story, Todd looked up to make sure none of the kids where eyeing him like he was some sort of freak. That's about the time he noticed Zim, the "human" with a skin condition was pacing nervously checking the clock every so often.

'Oh no! whats he planning?' Squee thought as he tucked his writing neatly aside. _"oh don't worry my boy, he'll be gone soon enough"_ shmee calmly said. _"but seriously he's a menace to humanity, you should torch him."_ The bear flat out stated, in an attempt to humor the pyro-bear Squee glanced around the room. 'There's nothing to light him on fire with in here Shmee' he thought as a commotion started somewhere outside.

At that moment something burst through the doors smoke trails following it as whatever it was flew around the room in circles. "Mastah! Mastah! I'm so happy I found ya'!" A mechanical voice shrieked from inside the maelstrom. "GIR! Are the Hyuman guards cleverly distracted?" Zim shouted at the manic blur.

"YES SIR!" a green dog suddenly appeared, saluting the not-human, its eyes flashing red momentarily. "They all sleepin' they gonna miss da' Angry Monkey Show!" it exclaimed as its eyes faded to cyan as it sobbed slightly.

"Forget the monkey GIR, Rocket cycle mode!" Zim shouted as the dog transformed into, well, a rocket cycle, onto which Zim leaped and sped out through the open doors unimpeded.

After about 45 minutes Squee finally calmed down enough to emerge from his hiding spot under the couch. Most of the crazed children had run out the wide open doors leaving him alone with the catatonic ones, and Ken. "Well at least I can get my writing done now" he said to himself as he retrieved his pen and paper and began writing.

5 hours later…

Squee had managed to redo most of his writings while the staff recovered the escaped children; he was now in his shared room, carefully hiding his writings under his bed, in the straps that held up the mattress. Hopping back up onto his bed he looked over to the still dazed Ken, hoping the muscle relaxants would last through the night.

"Lights out!" a voice echoed through the halls before the building went dark.

Squee took up his normal sleeping position, facing away from the wall in order to set up his "force-field" against scary things. He felt tired but waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark in order to make one final sweep of the room, to check if anything scary was already a foot.

The room was oddly…normal, with no indication of any spookiness Todd felt himself slipping into sleep.

_CREAK!_

Todd's eyes snapped open as he glanced towards the door, which was now opening slowly. Once it had opened enough he saw a shadow slip through, he held back a squee, hoping that whatever it was would ignore him and leave. Not that things like this ever ended like that, but he could hope.

"Kennnny, Kennny, wakey-wakey Ken" he here a low soft voice say. "Huh? Whaa?" a response came, signaling the tranquilizers where wearing off. "I've got good news Ken" the vaguely human-shaped shadow said as it rummaged in what could have been a pocket. "whaa newth? Ken asked not quite having all his strength back.

"You're going to be free soon Kenneth" it said as it pulled a syringe-shaped shadow from its pocket. "fwee?" the dazed cannibal managed to ask. "Yes, free, you're going to paradise, Ken" it said while flipping something off one end of the syringe and finding the IV attached to Ken's arm. "A place where you can devour as many people as you want" the shadow stated in a calming voice, as it pushed the syringes contents into the IV.

"awthome" the lispy man-eater sighed, moments later his eyes went wide and he began to convulse, then foam at the mouth.

"I am the Angel of Death" the shade stated, wiping away the froth with each word. At this Todd could no longer contain himself, "Squueeee!" Despite muffleing the outburst with his blanket the shadow still turned at the sound, dim light from the hall reflecting off its eyes and staff keycard.

"Oh, sorry to wake you Mr. Casil" the shadow politely replied. "Huh, I meant to free you next week, so you would no longer have to fear everything" The staff member pondered as he pulled out another syringe. "But why prolong your suffering" he said, answering himself.

"P-please, D-doctor, I don't wanna die" Squee pleaded as he stood up on his bed with his back to the wall. "Oh, you have nothing to fear, it'll be like falling asleep" he said as he lunged for the small boy, who quickly dodged and ran for the door dragging the blanket halfway with him.

"Why do you run?" the crazed man inquired as he made his way for the door, only to trip on the discarded blanket. Halfway out the door at this point Squee poked his head back in. "Ummm, are you okay?" he asked as he inched a little closer to the fallen killer.

"W-wwhy do you want t'extend yer pain?" he stuttered as he lifted his head, revealing a syringe plunged deep into his eye socket.

"!"

The boy flipped and did not stop running until he arrived at the common room where he promptly collapsed on the couch. Leaving his would be killer to die by his own medicine.

**DREAMTIME!**

Squee and all of the other patients are running through a seemingly endless version of the 24/7

While being chased by the Angle of Death who is wielding an old-timey poachers rifle, is dressed as an old-timey poacher and is riding on a giant green dog-rocket-cycle-thingy

A/N: well there's Squee's chapter, as usual all the nasty stuff seems to aim itself at Squee.


	6. Flusher Tales I

**Chapter 6: Flusher Tales**

**A/N:** Here is a new kind of intermission. The flashback is owned by Jhonen C. Vasquez, as is the idea of "flushers."

-This is a flashback; therefore everything you look at will look black & white while you're reading this-

"And like any waste, it accrues. You would see people walking through this sick, unknowingly wading through it like leaves from a forest of horrors" Senor Diablo explained as they walked through an abandoned portion of hell. "And it collects at a manic pace, what with humans incessantly shitting into the ether, if you will"

"It must be managed, and it is – stockpiled in specifically cleared out "spaces" prisons, almost." Satan explained to the deceased murder. "Since pure aggression is rabid thing, eager to breed, and coat everything in itself. These cells can be anything—objects, points in space, **pimples**, etc."

They began to cross a bridge as the devil continued his speech. "each cell is assigned a lock to stabilize fluctuations and maintain the seal. Of course, locks, whether humans, dogs, or **weasels**, never know what their doomed to be" he told everyone's favorite murderer.

"God, I l-wor-OM! -e-th-"

-End Flashback; begin normal story now.-

Erik walked into the pet store, his place of employment, and proceeded to his specific work station. He walked past shelves of pet toys, sanitary products and cages and cubbies that contained the "normal" critters that this establishment sold.

You see, this particular pet store had a very, very strange feature. A section, in the back of the store dedicated solely to helping new pet owners and new animal control people identify rabid and/or abused animals. It was probably the dumbest thing he had ever seen, but his demonic boss insisted on it.

In hindsight, he probably shouldn't have said that out loud, now he was stuck working back here. Every day he counted his fingers, not to count the days without incidents, those happened all the time, but to make sure he still had ten of them.

Thus, he began one of the three most dangerous tasks in his work day; Feeding time.

The dogs growled evilly, the cats mooed angrily*, the rabbits he swore were about to go all Monty Python and the Holy Grail on him, then there was the weasel. Normally just as bad tempered as all the other creatures in this area it always seemed strangely calm around him. In fact, it would climb up on his shoulder like a skinny, furred parrot and rub his neck.

Well, actually it was rubbing the horrific, throbbing neck-pimple he cleverly hid under his long hair. As he placed the odd animal back in its cage his thoughts drifted to the garish blemish on his neck, how no creams worked, how the doctors were stumped, they attempted to remove it, but the scalpel broke, and the laser deflected, amputating one dermatologists arm.

He sat at the desk and waited for the nightmare to begin; this store seemed to attract the most asinine aspects of humanity. One such example walked in the door about an hour into his shift. The man's clothing cleverly announced "I am a douche" to anyone who was listening, apparently the girl he dragged in had just gotten this declaration.

"Yo, sweaty desk-jockey what kind of critters ya got back here?" He asked while dragging the reluctant girl uncomfortably close to him. "The rabid and vicious kind" Erik curtly replied as he indicated the "do not handle the animals without an employee" sign. "Awesome" the guy replied as he and the girl walked towards the cages.

"Hey Erik could you give me a hand?" his co-worker Emily shouted from the front. Glancing back at the couple who were walking along the wall, being menaced by the animals, he decided he could leave for a moment.

A few minutes later he returned to find the dude playfully shoving the weasel in his girlfriend's face. "EEEK! Get that away from me!" she shouted, "Hey! Can't you read!" Erik screamed at the guy. Startled, his grip loosened enough for the critter to wriggle free and run up his arm, tearing flesh as it went, before violently burying itself in the guy's neck.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the girl shrieked as Erik wrenched the animal from the guy's neck and Emily called 911. Calming almost instantly the weasel ran up his arm and rubbed his neck, undoubtedly coating the pimple with blood.

Animal control arrived, and decided that the foul tempered creature had been provoked and let it live, the douche died from exsanguination**, and crazy incidents like this happened another five times before Erik's shift ended.

After returning to his apartment he entered his bathroom to check the pimple. "FUCK!" he screamed while chucking a tube of "Acne Blast" out the window. The blemish had not shrunk as the product promised, in fact it looked like it had gotten bigger.

**A/N:** YAY! This chapter is kind of short, I mean really, really short.

*The angry moo – when cats get really pissed they go from hissing to this growl that seems to emanate from their ribcage. My step-father calls this "the angry moo"

**Exsanguination – he bled to death, wait! Why am I explaining this! You people are JtHM fans! This should have been your first word!


	7. Devi's Horrible Date

**Chapter 7: Devi's Horrible Date**

**A/N:** Or would that be a normal date? Considering how all the others have ended, anywho here we go.

_BEEPBEEPBEEP!_

'Damnit! I really need to change that ringtone' the freelance artist thought to herself as she picked up her fallen pallet. After placing it on a table, Devi headed out to the living room where the communication device continued to assault her ears with the horrible sound. Devi put on the phones headset and a few seconds later heard the line pick up.

-Hello? Devi?—

"Speaking"

-oh, hi, its Derek—the nervous man said

"hey, Derek" Devi responded as she sat in her chair.

-Listen, uhhh, there's a shitload of traffic out here, I'm gonna be a little late—He explained as angry honking could be heard in the background.

"Oh, I see" was her only response.

–don't worry about the reservations I already called and moved them up—

"okay, well, see you later."

-Kay, uhh, bye—was the only thing said before the line went dead.

"hmmm, being late, things must be getting better" Devi hoped out loud. "Oh, I doubt it" Sicknesses voice seemed to echo from both her head and a nearby closet, "something always goes horribly wrong" the doll continued. "Shut up, so far Derek has been nothing but nice this whole time" Devi said out loud in the privacy of her apartment.

"And what, he's been 'normal' too? Plenty of your other dates started normally" The demonic doll pointed out. Devi did not respond as she retreated into her drawing room, and slammed the door behind her. About 30 minutes later she emerged then headed to her bedroom to prepare for her date. A few minutes later she exited and deposited herself on the couch.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

She got up from her position and, after checking through the peep-hole to make sure it was Derek, she unlatched the two deadbolts she still kept in use, she stepped into the hallway. Both of the clearly nervous adults strode in near silence as they made their way to the ground floor of Devi's building. As they got into Derek's car Devi thought she faintly heard an excited "squeak!" from Tenna's window.

The conversation started within the vehicle, it was mainly about the restaurant they were headed served. They arrived a few minutes later, and were seated soon after. They continued talking, about various subjects, like work or what movie they would see after dinner.

"Sorry, I have to use the restroom" Derek said during a slow point in their conversation. As the nervous man walked to his destination a small voice screamed into Devi's head, "Oh my god! Somebody put shit in his pants!" 'That's not funny!' she screamed into her head, the memories of that past date making her gag slightly.

IN THE BATHROOM

Having already soaked his napkin clean through, Derek attempted to dry his sweat-soaked hands with numerous paper towels. 'At least it's cool in here' he thought, dreading the short cut through the park they would be taking to get through the theater.

IN THE MAIN AREA

Devi's time was also taking a turn to the south. It wasn't anything Derek had done, no Sickness had taken the last 4 minutes to list ALL the ways her past dates had ended.

_"Car crash/mongoose/airbag, Lit on fire by a crazy woman, beaten by zoo monkey's, lit on fire by his own smoke bombs, trampled by circus elephants, horrific allergic reaction, diarrhea, attempted murder, zombie, exploding car, devoured by giant ants, explosive diarrhea, run over by massive spaceship, blah blah blah blah blah._"

She realized that some of the few she had paid attention to were very similar to each other. As if the twisted, darkly humorous man writing her life had begun to run out of ideas, or the story of her life had been hijacked by a less morbidly creative individual. "Are you alright? You look angry" Devi was brought out of her thoughts by the return of Derek. "I'm alright, just thinking, about my part-time job" she quickly thought of something to say. "Oh, where do you work?" he asked nervously. "The 24/7 over on [insert street name]" Devi responded. After finishing their meal, and paying the bill, they departed for the park/movie theater.

Their talk soon shifted to all the weird and crazy customers she seemed to get.

"Really? Mental patients?" Derek said in a disbelieving voice. "Yep, I think I still have the doc's card" Devi mention as she pulled the object from her wallet and handed it to her date. "Wow, hey did you hear what happened at the D.H.M.I.?" he asked as he handed back the card. "No, what happened?"

"Well, apparently one of the doctors there was an "Angel of Death" serial killer who poisoned patients" he said as they walked along. "They found him dead after he accidentally poisoned himself trying to off a witness."

"That's crazy" Devi jested weakly, and lo they laughed for a few minutes, until they came to one of those "don't feed the animals" signs

"Oh, hey" Derek nervously pointed out the sign, "whenever I see one of those signs I think those poor animals must be starving, do you mind if we stop for a few." He asked as he somewhat shakily pulled out one of those "all natural" granola bars he always seemed to have with him. Glancing at her watch Devi responded "No, not at all, we still have time" and her apparently nature-loving date shuffled off to the side of the path

'Okay, that definitely counts as odd' she thought as he bent over to offer a squirrel a piece of the bar. "Oooo, somethin's gonna happen" Sickness commented in the most annoying voice possible. 'Nothing's going to happen' Devi answered back, and with that she became engrossed in another debate with the spooky doll, which she was pulled out of by the sound of ruffling leaves.

Looking over towards Derek the single squirrel had become four. "Hey, where'd they come from?" Devi asked indicating the new arrivals. "They must've smelled the food" Derek answered as he broke the remaining bar into four roughly equal pieces.

As they left Devi did not notice the sweaty palm prints on the concrete path.

Neither noticed the squirrels sniffing the prints inquisitively.

No normal human heard what was said among the squirrels.

"Eewwww, that human smells of anxiety and sex!" the original squirrel exclaimed

"Yes, but he also has food" the second commented as the third nodded in agreement.

"We must tell master!" the fourth bellowed, the four then skittered into the trees while chanting this phrase over and over.

She was having a nice time, the dinner had gone without any problems, and this walk was nice, except for the feeling that they were being followed. Chancing a glance over her shoulder Devi practically sighed with relief when she saw nothing behind them. "Something wrong?" Her date asked, "Not really, it just feels like we're being followed" Devi answered.

"Yeah, I've got that feeling to, maybe we should hurry." He suggested, and they began to quicken their pace. That is, until the bushes beside them began to rustle, turning to their rear they spotted some squirrels, and quickly turned forward.

"Are those the same squirrels?" She asked in a hushed voice. "I think so" he answered as they both entered into a slow run pace. After a few minutes of this they turned again, and saw that the four had now become forty. They both broke into a run as a virtual tidal wave of the tree-dwelling rodents poured forth from the path behind them.

Talking a moment to take note of the squirrels advance and Derek's position, Devi witnessed the cascade of rodents parting like a rabid Red Sea.

And the "Moses" which was a mutant human-sized squirrel charge forward and pounce on Derek while shrieking like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park.

Devi stood in shock as the hoard swarmed upon her date, and then, after a few minutes retreated, leaving nothing behind, not even bones or blood stains.

After letting this soak in Devi eventually found her way back to her apartment building.

_SQUEEK!_

Devi looked up and saw Mr. Spooky poking out a window; the irritating squeak toy was soon followed by her friend, Tenna. "Sooo, how'd your date go?" the excitable woman asked, "Devoured by mutant squirrels" She responded. "Ummm, well, that's not exactly what I meant, but, oh well" Tenna confusingly answered as Devi made her way into the building.

Once in her room the freelance artist plopped down on the couch and dozed off.

**777th:** witness

**A/N:** Well, I added something's to the list of how horribly a date/relationship can end. Also when I stopped to see how much I had written I just happened to land on word 777 so I think I'll probably record that from now on.


	8. Home improvement

**Chapter 8: Home Improvement**

**A/N:** In this episode Nny attempts to put his house into an order that won't make Squee live in paralyzing terror 24/7 once he breaks the kid out, and some other stuff happens

He had been home for about 10 days. During that time he rarely went out, ate, or tried not to sleep, most of this time was spent in the basement grinding up the skeletal remains of the victims he had left there ages ago. He did however leave his house on this day to purchase some home improvement supplies with funds collected from what remained of the deceased persons.

"Hey, Nny what'd you do on your little outing today?" the figurine questioned from the counter. "Oh, just bought some stuff" the maniac replied as he pulled some typical home improvement supplies from the bag. "I see, a…Why is that bag filled with air fresheners?"

Looking over to the overflowing bag the murderer replied, "Well, it smells like I killed a whale down there so I thought I should try to fix that." The maniac stated, pulling a 'wildflower' fragrance from the bag. "I don't see why you try, the kid already knows you kill people." The ceramic figure replied. "Yes, but I don't want him to be too traumatized by living here" the maniac responded as he hefted the massive bag over his shoulder.

"Too traumatized? You've killed people right in front of the boy!" Meat followed Nny into the living room. "Don't listen to Meat! That kid needs all the kindness he can get!" the floating head of nailbunny shouted after Johnny as the maniac descended into the basement.

About an hour later he reappeared practically choking on the clouds of fresh scent. "So how goes the home improvement?" Meat asked. "Well, it now smells like I killed a whale in a field of wildflowers next to a baked goods factory" Nny coughed before rolling on his back, hoping to catch his breath.

After doing so he noticed the numerous, horrifically mutilated stuffed animals nailed to his walls, "well, that's definitely traumatizing" he stated as he started pulling them from the walls. "I don't even remember why I did any of this" he mused to himself as he stuffed them into an empty store bag.

He opened the trunk of the stolen vehicle and prepared to stuff the tormented toys in, that's when he noticed the computer. "oh hey! Didn't know this was here" he excitedly said, dropping the bag he picked up the laptop and headed back to his couch. He opened the device and was immediately greeted by a sticky note reading "1234", at the password screen he typed this in.

"Idiot" he muttered to himself as the computer accepted the simple code. The laptop contained only some work related documents, which he quickly set upon deleting before a little window popped up:

ERROR – Could not Connect to Wi-Fi Network.

"What the fucks Wi-Fi?" the maniac wondered out loud. "I believe it's what every café in existence offers the customers who aren't really interested in coffee" The reverend reminded Nny from his perch on the couches back.

"oh yeah" Nny muttered as he looked around his decrepit home. "Well, I definitely don't have that, maybe the Casil's do" he uttered to no one in particular as he walked towards the stairs with his new laptop.

A minute or so later he was slowly lifting the trapdoor that leads to his neighbor's basement. He then violently through it open when he realized no one was in the room. Standing still for a second to listen for the noise that would indicate someone was coming to investigate. Upon hearing nothing he set the laptop down and headed for the ground level.

A few minutes of searching made him realize that the house had been abandoned for quite some time. "Those pathetic, sorry excuses for parental MEAT can't even stay in the same TOWN as their OWN SON!" the maniac yelled to the empty house. "Some ones getting pissed" Meat mocked from his new position on the fireplace hearth.

"That was just a moment of weakness" the maniac calmed himself and waved off the ceramics comment. Settling down onto the reasonably comfortable couch he opened the laptop and was greeted by a new window:

HOUSE#779 WI-FI Network

Password:

After several attempts at guessing the lunatic got it (it was "Abortion") and the web browser automatically opened to the last webpage the employee had visited. This unfortunately happened to be a sexually explicit one. After vomiting the meager contents of his stomach into the fireplace Nny exited the window and opened a new one.

Initially unsure about where to go, He eventually decided to see what crazy things had gone down in the city recently and found himself in the archive of a news site. He mostly just glanced at the dates and headlines:

From one month after he left:

Hideous Mutilations Stop; Town Rejoices

Six Months:

Crime Rates rising sharply, becoming more "organized"

One Year:

Gangs move in, Town is now Back in the "Top 5 Most Dangerous Cities"

And then the stories started getting really, really weird about a year ago.

Giant Space Water Balloon Brings Tidal Wave of Doom to the City

Adorable Giant Cyborg Hamster Rampage ends with Cuddly Creature Launched into Space

Horrific Tentacled smiley-faced beast Rampages Through Town.

Initially he just ignored all of these really strange stories but at the last one he decided to take a look. The main article was about how this creature just crash landed in the park one day, at first it was still but began to move when the military showed up. The monstrosity laid into the city, destroying everything, vehicles, buildings, people, Johnny chuckled at the violence described. This attack continued until the creature exploded for no apparent reason raining slime and chunks of alien space craft upon the town.

"Heh, Tuesdays" Nny chuckled to himself before going on. The rest of the article was just a boring explanation of how Membrane Laboratories new Chief Engineer, Miyuki Senjin, declared that the tech gained from revers…

Johnny didn't bother reading the rest, instead he closed the computer hid it under a table and headed back in to his house to resume his previous task.

After stuffing the bag into the now empty trunk Nny got into the vehicle and drove to one of those miniature lakes they let you take a boat out on it. He then through the toys onto a boat doused it in gas he siphoned from his car, and then gave it a slight shove before tossing a match into it.

Getting back into his stolen automobile he noticed that the gas tank was getting close to empty. So he headed to a gas station, after filling up the tank, buying some chips, and killing the attendant for calling him a "skinny fag" Johnny decided this would be a perfect chance to visit Squee and headed to the 24/7 to pick up a couple of brain freezies.

**777th:** Hideous

**A/N:** WWHHHEEEEEE! This chapter exists mostly to obliterate all doubts that this takes place in the Invader Zim universe…I eventually hope to include a scene where Nny uses Dib's scythe-hair to kill someone.


	9. Flusher Tales II

**Chapter 9: Flusher Tales**

**A/N:** this tale is about a "backup" Waste-lock; someone who beat several of The Systems recruitment attempts, but lost a fair amount of creativity in the process. Flushers like this take over when normal ones are unable to perform their duties, like when Devi beat Nny into a coma at the end of their date.

-DREAM SEQUENCE-

Sitting on an easel there is a painting depicting a rabid flame-beast burning an old-timey village.

Across from the painting, sitting on an unmade bed sat a young woman. She appeared to be in early twenties, her short chestnut hair and clothing speckled with paint, her piercing blue eyes staring intensely into the smoldering ones of the beast. "Fuck you" the woman said, _"that's not a very nice thing to say mother"_ she wasn't sure where the voice was coming from. _"It would be easy to assume that you're talking to yourself" _the art continued, its voice sounding, unstable, like if you looked at it funny it would melt your face off.

This suggestion worried the woman, her father had had schizophrenia. But the few times he had somehow missed his medication, it didn't appear that any of his voices were self-aware, like the painting seemed to be.

_KNOCK!THUMP!KNOCK!_

The woman sat up, went to the door, and cracked it open. Greeting the sight of her wizened grandmother with a frustrated sigh she opened the door a little more. "What?" she asked trying to make her frustration obvious, "you haven't left your room all weekend, you should really try to get out this week." "You're the one who spent my childhood torpedoing any chance I had at normalcy, and **now **you want me to get out more?" The old woman's expression shifted from false worry to rage. "You're the one who never got along with people, besides you need to drive your brother to school" the old hag responded. "Fine" she said before momentarily retreating into her room.

"When I get back, I'm going to burn you" she told the painting as she grabbed her car keys. _"Highly unlikely" _the painting answered as she left the room. Once outside her bedroom she was confronted by her ancient relative. "Listen, Jennifer, I just wanted to talk to you about wasting your time on this painting hobby of yours. Jennifer twitched with anger as her similarly named ancestor continued, "it just doesn't make sense, especially with your major being psychology"

"It's just a hobby grammy" her short answer came as she continued towards the stairs. "it's a wasteful one" her grandmother answered back, at this moment Jenny turned and slapped the old woman across the face. "You disrespectful bitch!" her grandmother screamed as she slapped Jennifer in turn. Turning to descend the stairs Jenny registered the hag gripping her left arm just befffoortt…

-END DREAM SEQUENCE-

The now slightly older woman woke with a devious smile on her face, the image of her horrible relative lying prone at the bottom of the stairway, begging for help, floating in her mind. As she got off the couch she had passed out on the day before that smile turned into a manic grin as she remembered the painting screaming at her as it was consumed by flames.

"Shit" she sighed as subsequent bad memories came flooding back. Her parents death, losing her brother to the idiotic foster system, all these only served to deepened her dreadful mood as she grabbed a snack and descended into the basement.

"Fuck! I'm not even actively waste-locking…that was stupid…anymore and I still feel worse than shit!" she shouted and mumbled through bites of the delicious snack. Her thoughts shifted to the last time she had to soak up the spiritual shit of humanity, about a year ago some other flusher got himself beaten into a coma by his date.

Chuckling at the man's bad luck she barely noticed one of her figments sitting on a stool until it spoke. "Hello Caroline how goes your day so far?" the Chihuahua-sized Monkey-suited flea joyfully asked. "Horribly, so far I've only managed to remind myself of some of the worst events of my life" she said before tossing the last mini-muffin into her mouth.

"Ah, think I'm gonna go torture that guy I dragged home from that night club two days ago" she said as she continued her descent, follow closely by the flea. They soon arrived at a room that contained a large sinister looking sphere with a man suspended in the middle.

"Oh, hey pretty girl, finally come to have some fun" the man ludely remarked from his prone position. "No I've come to torture you to death" she said as she grabed some of the rope-hooks attached to the inside of the sphere. "Ohhh, I see you're into kinky stuff, well that's alright, I'm game" he said as he watched her approach him with the hooks.

"I'm not here to have sex with you, I'm HERE TO FUCKING KILL YOU AND COLLECT YOUR BLOOD!" she screamed as she sunk several hooks into the man's flesh. "V-vv-vampire" the man stuttered in agony after the remaining hooks were plunged into his skin.

"I would never drink blood!" she screeched as she approached a small knob mounted on a pedestal. "And with all the sexual nonsense you've been spewing I'd be surprised if you had less than three STD's" she continued as she sat on the stool and the figment sat on her shoulder.

"You know I don't even remember what this one does" she said after staring at the knob for a few moments. As she turned it the metal sphere expanded slightly, causing the hooks to tear the man's flesh. Blood began to flow from every wound and drip into the storm-drain like grate on the floor. She relished the man's screams of terror and pain as she slowly turned the knob more and more. After several minutes of this she gave the knob a final twist; the man practically exploded raining blood and guts down onto the grate.

Fetching the bucket of fresh blood she began her trek up the stairs. She soon found herself in the familiar position in front of the wall, bloody paint brush in hand. She could feel the nastiness festering behind the partially dried seal and quickly began to coat the wall, to rid herself of the feeling of dread she got when looking at the weakened seal.

After finishing her task she walked up into the normal part of her house and found herself craving some Mexican food. Grabbing her keys and several wicked blades she jumped into her car and sped off.

"Where we going now?" a feeble voice inquired from the passenger seat. Glancing down as she came to a stop she found another figment safely buckled up. "To the Taco Smell" she answered as she slammed on the gas accelerating into some jay-walkers. "You shouldn't be eating so much, it will go right to your hips" the voice meekly continued.

Ignoring the talking doll Caroline parked her car and entered the restaurant.

She had ordered four tacos and a large soda and sat in a corner booth to consume her meal. She was nearly done when she noticed a group across the aisle and a few booths down was pointing and giggling at her.

After disposing of her trash she walked up to the table and asked why they were mocking her.

"Well" one of the two girls started, "look at how your dressed, you're not showing any skin through those jeans and your shirt is just baggy, it definitely doesn't show off your form." Caroline looked down at her normal non-torn jeans and loose fitting shirt. She then looked at the girls, they had worn jeans with holes here and there, and shirts so form fitting that, if they were any tighter, would cause their heads to pop.

"So what you're saying is, your clothes express what other people view you as" She inquired of the teens while resting her chin on her hand, who only nodded. "Well, in that case you" pointing to the two girls "are a couple of whores in training, probably already carrying a few vernal diseases. And you" indicating the two guys. "Are top high school athletes whom will eventually let themselves go and become fat, greasy janitors working for one of the scores of nerds you probably torment"

The group could only stare in shock at the woman's comment, eventually one of the guys stood up. "You insultin' us! 'cause I can seriously fuck you up!" he shouted as he pounded one fist into his other hand.

"No" she said as she pulled a blade from her left boot "I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU UP!" she screamed as she whipped the blade through his torso. As his companions and the other patrons screamed in horror she reaches into his body cavity and uses his intestines to strangle the other couple.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Caroline sits in front of the television, some guy is reporting about the massacre at a local Taco Smell. Standing up as the guy describes other uncaught murders operating in a few other cities around the world, she goes to a shelf and picks out a DVD to watch.

**777th:** blood

**A/N:** when she says "actively" waste-locking she means that normally she absorbs meager amounts of nastiness from around her. Not as much as a full blown waste-lock but still enough to put her in a foul mood most of the time.


	10. Visitations

**Chapter 10: Visitations**

**A/N:** A bunch o'stuff happens in this here chapter.

Start: 2/24/2012 9.02 p.m.

Devi's POV

Devi was busy sketching out a basic cover art idea for the final installment of 'Shrieky's Terrific Life of Unending Horror', well, technically she was the cashier at the 24/7 convenience store, but it was pretty much abandoned. "hmmm" she scratched her temple with the pencils eraser, trying to remember the 'horror's' of this particular issue. "Fuck" she whispered as the writing utensil slipped from her grasp to the floor. As she ducked under the counter she heard the _DING! _That signaled the arrival of a customer.

"I'll be with you in a minute" she waved a hand above the countertop to let whoever was there know that the store was staffed. After retrieving her pencil she emerged from under her station in time to see a "Nerd Troop" car swerve violently into the middle of the somewhat busy road.

"Well, that was strange" she mumble before returning to her sketch.

Johnny's POV

"Fuck, Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" the maniac screamed as he swerved through traffic, utterly ignoring the sound of screams and exploding vehicles. "I can't FUCKING believe she works THERE now!" he continued his rant. "Well, let's look at this as an opportunity to talk to her!" Meat responded from the passenger's seat. "You should at least apologize to her in a normal way" Nail bunny suggested.

"I CAN'T" he shouted at his head voices, "After that last…incident three years ago I swore to myself that I'd leave her alone" he continued, his concentration everywhere but the road. "Well, obviously the universe thinks that swear is bullshit." The Reverend stated as the now mysteriously bumpy road caused him to bounce around the seat.

"FUCK THE UNIVERSE! FUCK YOU! AND FUCK, oh we're here" his rant was cut short as he slowed to navigate the D.H.M.I.'s parking lot.

Squee's POV

Squee had not been having a good week. First, the Doctor's had, at first, thought that HE had killed Ken and that other doctor. They had thrown him into a padded cell and zapped him a few times when he had tried to explain, eventually they realized the truth, and he still ached from the shocking though. Then his new roommate had moved in, there wasn't anything seriously wrong with him, but he had a tendency to scream obscenities at random times for no reason.

The screams obviously startled the boy, which caused him to accidently scribble all over his writtings. Not that he had been writing much, he was still a little dazed from the zapping.

He heard the door open and prepared for the typical "hello" outburst the tourette's sufferer always greeted him with. He was, however, startled in a completely different way.

"hiya Squeegee!" he whirled around and set his sight on his former neighbor.

" -man, what are you doin' here?" he stuttered slightly

"Ya know we're not neighbor's anymore, you can call me Nny" the crazed man said as he sat on Squee's bed. "and I just wanted to make sure you hadn't gone horribly insane from all the torment you've probably been through without me here" answering the boy's question, Nny looked worriedly at the boy. "I'm fine, thanks" Todd responded, "Were'd you go three years ago?"

"Oh well, I had a little "accident" with the whole distancing myself from emotion thing" He explained. "I just sorta freaked out and left, I'll understand if you hate me for abandoning you, especially after I said I'd break you out"

"No, I don't hate you, I've actually been feeling better since they stopped experimenting on me" The young human said as he sat next to the unstoppable killer. _"Squee! This man is dangerous! Quick! Burn him!"_ Shmee shouted into his ear. "Say, how'd you get in here?" he asked as he ignored the pyro-bear.

"What? oh, I just claimed I was your long-lost cousin, Johnny Casil" He explained as he got up to look at some of the drawings Squee had done. "They won't release you to me, so you're gonna have to wait a few more weeks to be out"

"Why a few weeks?" Todd really wanted out of this horrible place. "Oh, nothin' just my house is a horrific nightmare realm that will leave you paralyzed with unending terror" He commented as he prepared to leave. "O-oh" the boy stuttered as he thought of all the nights he lost sleep over the horrific screams emanating from next door, he didn't notice his rooms door opening until the screaming started.

"AHOY THERE, YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!" the Coprolalian screeched as he entered the room.

"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!" Nny screamed as he reached for one of Squee's pencil's. "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, YET YOU COME IN HERE JUDGING AND INSULTING ME AND SQUEEGEE LIKE IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB!" at the last word the lunatic shoved the pencil through the kid's treachea.

"SQUEE!" the boy squealed at the spontaneous violence, he quickly calmed himself. "Uhhh, Scary Neighb-Nny, that kid had tourettes." "Whazzat?" the maniac questioned as he stood over the wounded child. "It's where he screams stuff for no reason." The small boy explained. "Oh, sorry about that kid" Nny almost cheerfully apologized.

*Pained Gurgling*

"ummm, well, I should be going now, see you in a week or two" Nny said as he walked away from squee's room, waving back at the boy.

Devi's POV

She had finished the sketch of the cover a while ago; now, on one of the pieces of scratch paper she had a list of colors. They weren't colors for the painting, instead she had decided it was time to change her hair color, she had narrowed it down to either red or blue.

_DING!_

Devi looked up and was met with the sight of Dr. Kopf, "Oh god, you're here to try some more "Reintegration" aren't you?" "uhh, no that program was cancelled" the doc stated, looking down at his feet.

"Instead" he looked back up while reaching into his pocket. "We're going to be starting this "Art for the Insane" thing, kind of like getting them to express their craziness" he explained as he handed a pamphlet to Devi. "You'll be paid, and last time I was here I notice you doodling on that pad, do you have any experience teaching art?" he sort of drifted around comments as she looked through the pamphlet.

"Well, a while back I did help my friend improve her skills, helping her draw this little squeak to she has" Devi told the doctor as she thought of the little comic strips Tenna shoved under her door, mostly about spooky 'getting out more'. "Perfect! Well if you want to join just call the number in the back of that pamphlet any time next week, the program starts after that." His made his final comments as he headed towards the door.

A few minutes after he left one of Devi's younger co-workers came to start his later shift. After getting in her car Devi turned on the radio, which was, for some reason on a news station.

The first story was about how the "revolution" squatting in the larger of the city's parks had started to become a little more active. The second was on a large hurricane that was set to approach sometime next week. Devi frowned as the thought of the "revolution" camp getting swept away in the violent storm flashed through her mind before she changed the station.

"Aaawwww, come on you can't say you don't think those lazy bums deserve it" sicknesses voice rang in her ears. She ignored it as ascended to her room to begin the final cover, after this assignment she'd have about a week or two. 'Maybe I should do this "Art for The Insane" thing' she though as she closed her door behind her.

**777th: **yet

**A/N:** THE PLOT THICKENS! Muwhahahahaha! *ack*cough*wheeze*- I'm not trying to be funny there, I actually had a coughing fit.

Coprolalian – I think this is the noun form of Coprolalia – the use of vulgarity by tourettes sufferers.


	11. Revolutions and Gangs

**Chapter 11: Revolutions and Gangs**

**A/N:** in this chapter nny walks through a park where he encounters that "revolution" talked about in chapters 1 and 10, he also pisses a gang off and does some other things.

It had been about three days since he had talked to Squee. During that time he somehow managed to get rid of most of the bloodstains on the main level of his house. It could still use some improvement, like the boarded up windows. He had considered replacing them with real windows but had no idea where to get them; he'd probably just cover the remaining holes with some more boards.

Currently he was driving towards a grocery store to stock up on food for the growing boy. "Why don't you go to the 24/7? I'm sure they've got food, cheaper food to" the ceramic reverend inquired from the passenger's seat. "And risk running into Devi? Never!" the maniac yelled at the head voice as he parked the car. "I think it would be nice if you at least tried to apologize to her in a normal way" a disembodied rabbits head urged from Nny's shoulder as the maniac left the car.

Half an hour later he returned, covered in blood spatter. "What happened?" Meat asked as a grocery bag was placed next to him. "oh, this lady in the store told her kid that if he turned out like me he'd go to hell" the maniac started the car. "I told her about how I'm not allowed in Heaven **or **Hell; she started screaming that I was a "Satanist pig" while hitting me, so I beat her to death with this skettios can" the maniac pulled a slightly dented, gore covered can from the bag as evidence.

"I see" was the ceramic figures only response. "That wasn't very nice, she was only trying to be a good parent" Nail Bunny commented. "Yeah well she didn't have to be mean to me just to make a point" the murder remarked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

Driving along he glanced out the window at one of the few pieces of nature left within the city, a park. Glancing through the foliage whenever the traffic slowed, he saw some families playing in the open areas, a city of tents nearby, four squirrels nibbling a human foot.

"Huh?" Nny glanced back at the tree in question, then decided to check if he had actually seen that or hallucinated it. Pulling into a lot he placed the groceries behind the passenger seat then navigated towards where he had seen the carnivorous rodents. He soon found himself standing under it, watching intently as the animals fought over every bit of flesh. Deciding it was nothing more than a horrid delusion he turned to leave.

_THUNK!_

Kneeling over while gripping his now throbbing head, Nny glanced up and set his eyes upon a partially eaten foot. Picking it up he quickly changed his mind, he had handled enough dead bodies to know a severed limb when he held one in his hand. Hearing some disturbance behind him he turned to find the four squirrels that had been dinning on the flesh had descended from the tree and had brought some friends.

Throwing the foot back to the apparently hungry critters the maniac slow walked backwards until he encountered something soft. Turning he found himself face to face with a giant squirrel its maw dripping with blood, the normally unstoppable killer turned and fled stepping on a few of the smaller animals in the process. Witnessing its smaller brethren trampled by the unimposing human set the king squirrel into a rage and it began its chase.

About five minutes later Nny stumbled into one of the tent cities he had seen earlier covered in blood and squirrel fur.

He walked through the camp mostly ignored by the occupants until one man with a particularly funny walk came up to him. "hey man, me and my buddies downed some bran muffins an hour er two ago, we're gonna go find some cop cars to defecate on, wanna join?" the bizarre man asked.

"Uuggh, no" was the maniacs only reponse as he tried not to vomit at the description of what they were going to do. He began making his way through the camp towards civilization when a particularly sickly looking fellow came up to him. "Hey, spare some change for a sick friend, I've got the consumption ya know" the man begged before coughing up blood, some of it landing on Nny.

"YUCK! Keep your disgusting cough-blood off of me!" the maniac yelled, but the man only asked for some financial assistance. Nny responded by performing a bloody eagle* on the man, "What the HELL!" Johnny turned to be confronted with a particularly pissed off woman. "That man was sick! All he needed was a few bucks" she screamed

"HE was sick?" Nny yelled back, "THIS WHOLE CAMP IS WALLOWING IN ITS OWN FILTH AND ONLY THAT GUY WAS SICK?" Johnny screamed as he hacked off the woman's arms. The other campers rushed to her aid only to be mowed down by the psychotic murder and his smiley-faced blades of death.

30 MINUTES LATER

After killing about 50 camp members the others had finally got the message and let Nny continue on his path. He had emerged from the park to find himself about 7 blocks from the parking lot where his car was, and thus he had begun the trek back. He was currently about two-thirds of the way back when he came across a group of young men who all had long pants on despite the summer heat but all had the left leg rolled up to the knee.

As he walked past the group he heard them talking about him, one of the group then walked up to him and grabbed his shoulder. "Hey, I bet yo thank yo a badass walkin' round with all dat shit on ya" the ganster said indicating the blood soaking most of Nny's clothing. "Well you ain't" the man insisted as he pulled a gun from his waistline and began to wave it around.

Not really wanting to deal with this kind of interaction at the moment Nny promptly brought out a dagger and split the man's head down the middle. Quickly hacking through both sides of the neck he wielded each half-skull as a club as he beat each of the other men senseless.

"this ain't over man, this ain't over" one of the few survivor's screamed as a car appeared from nowhere, running over some of the unconscious gangsters. The one who had threatened Nny quickly jumped in and continued his threats as the vehicle sped away.

"So, how'd your walk go?" Rev. Meat inquired as the blood covered driver sat in his seat. "Horribly" the maniac replied as he started the car and began the drive home. After a while he spotted a familiar convenience store up a head "Need Freezy" he said in a zombie like trance as he parked the car.

Entering the establishment he was met with a look of horror from the vaguely familiar man behind the counter. "Relax, its only red paint" the killer lied as he made his way to the drink machine, then something in his head clicked. "Hey…aren't you the owner?" Nny asked the man.

"Why, Yes I am" the man proudly responded. "I don't normally stay for long but my wretched employee needed to do some stuff in the back, so I offered to take over, an hour ago" he said in a slightly angry voice. "in fact I will be leaving as soon as SHE GETS HER ASS IN GEAR!" he screamed to the back of the store as Nny retrieved a jumbo brain-freezy cup. From the back a faint "I'm coming" be heard as he began to fill up the massive cup. The acquisition of his favorite drink was interrupted as a large clatter emanated from the direction of the "Wretched Employees Only" door.

Devi's POV

She had finally located the package of soda she required to finish stocking the shelves when she heard her boss yelling for her to hurry up. "I'M COMING" she screamed back as she carefully wrenched the package out from the tall stack it found itself at the bottom of. "Impatient bastard" she said under her breath as she made her way to the front. Cautiously wedging the package against the door frame she turned the knob and proceeded to push the door open with her foot.

As soon as she was through the door she dropped the soda's, which fizzed all over the floor. She stepped back slightly in wide-eyed shock as she saw the crazed murderer she attempted to date four years ago calmly, almost joyfully filling a jumbo freezy cup.

As soon as he registered the clatter he looked up, his eyes widening in shock as well. He stood there a few moments before dropping the freezy, dashing out the front door, practically leaping through the passenger window of a "Nerd Troop" car he violently swerved into the street hitting a few other cars in the process before speeding out of sight.

"that's coming out of your paycheck" her boss said to his horrified employee as he pushed passed her and left through the employee parking, leaving Devi to clean both the spilt freezy and spattered soda. After doing this, stocking the shelves, and filling out an order form for some more soda, Devi sat, still in shock, at the counter.

_"Aawwww, he looked like he missed you, right before he freaked out and stuff"_ Sickness snidely whispered in her ear. "SHUT THE HELL UP YOU GODAMNED DOLL!" Devi screamed to the empty store before slamming her head on the counter, exhausted.

777th: he

**A/N:** Not in the mood for a real author's note, not much to add to this chapter. Oh wait! There is something to add!

*-a Viking capital punishment where the ribs are separated from the spine and the lungs pulled out of the body cavity.


	12. Flusher Tales III

**Chapter 12: Flusher Tales**

**A/N:** The weasel shall be flushed within this chapter Erik goes to heaven after the tentacled pus-demon erupts from his neck.

_DING!_

Erik walked through the door of his place of employment he walked past all the normal pets, pet toys, irritating pet Halloween costumes, and entered the hell that was the back of the store. "Hiya Erik!" His co-worker Emily cheerfully called from her position at the grooming counter, she crossed over to his side after dealing with a particularly antsy dog.

"So how'd that home remedy work?" she inquired about the bizarre combination of products that he mom told her supposedly could get rid of any pimple. "It didn't" was his only response as he thought of the horrific malformation. "Oh…well that's too bad" she replied feeling sorry for her friend, before returning to her station.

It had been around a year since that douche had been killed, and the freakish blemish had only gotten bigger. Up until about a month and a half ago it just stopped, not only that but the weasel which normally coated it with the blood of each kill / maiming had become less active. It hadn't hurt anyone in about two weeks and Erik had been horrified to feel a steadily increasing throbbing sensation it the massive pustule.

Walking along the cages with a bag of feed he came to the weasel's prison. It was just lying there, in the corner, like it didn't want to deal with life. He reached down into the cage…nothing happened, no attack, no threatening, it just sat there. After feeding all the animals he returned to his post and waited for the horror show to begin.

And begin it did a collection of children came into the department followed by some old person, probably a teacher. "Alright children! Due to the increased incidences of mauling's you have been brought here to learn how to identify rabid and aggressive animals" after he spoke this Erik's boss appeared.

"Alright my doomed sla…I mean employee lead these small humans to the back." Sighing at the shear ridiculousness of the whole scene Erik complied. As soon as they were all in the back he began his speech.

"Alright everyone the animals you see behind me are all in cages for a reason. At some point in the past they have inflicted some sort of horrific injury onto some unsuspecting dolt. We however, shall be opening the cages one by one in order to show you how these types of animals react to seeing humans. If anything happens just scream and run around in little circles until an employee comes to help or you are distracted by some creature munching on your internal organs."

Finishing his speech he went to open the first cage: dog

Growling, barking, lunge at shocked crowd but stopped as Erik closed the door.

Cage 2: Cat

Hissing, yowling, making itself look bigger, clawing at air.

Cage 3: snake

Hissing, tongue whipping, lunging at window, breaking through glass and latching on to the face of the student named "Johnny."

Cage 4: weasel

"Hey why dat weasel not do anythin'?" one of the students asked pointing towards the animal. "I do not know, he's been like this for weeks" Erik responded as his boss charged forward. "Nonsense! All ya half to do is rile him up!" his odd boss exclaimed as he opened and reached into the cage. He then began to violently shake the animal and, true to his word it bit him.

"ACK!" he exclaimed as he dropped the animal who skimpered around, scaring the kids before apparently losing motivation and curling up. "FUCKING BASTARD! DEMON WEASEL!" his boss yelled as he stomped down on the creature. "Erik clean up this goddamned mess and fill out an order for a new weasel specimen" the irate employer screamed at his underling.

But Erik was distracted; the throbbing sensation had quickly grown to a searing agony was his bosses shoe came down onto the animal. Having almost no threshold for pain, the young man collapsed eliciting a shriek of shock from the students. "Hey you lazy bum no lying down on the job!" the boss-man berated.

Then he noticed the pimple had begun to shift from its normal whitish color to a disturbingly sick green. The belligerent employer backed away as the malformity began to swell and shapes could be seen inside. It then burst coating the sickened onlookers in pus.

(A/N: Feel free to vomit profusely at this disgusting mental image! I know I did!)

The monstrosity was horrific, formless amalgamation of tentacles, mammalian, reptilian, and insectoid limbs, it also had way too many heads, some were dead, others attached in grotesque fashions. Most of the students made it into the safe areas; spare broom closets coated on the inside with bullet proof materials.

Those who didn't, along with Erik's boss were at the mercy of the pimple-beast which quickly tore into them, shredding them into tiny strips. Before Erik finally expired of blood loss and a fucking pus-demon erupting from his neck, he saw the creature break through the door to the normal part of the store. However instead of seeing the store all he saw was an inky black void of nothingness.

_CUE ZE SHITTY MORPHING EFFECTS!_

The next thing Erik knows he's lying face down in a cloud. Getting up a piercing pain fills his neck, reaching back he finds a massive bloody crater where the pimple once stood. "Well, at least it's gone" he said as he walked over to the front desk.

"Ah, Yes, Erik Frederickson, We've been expecting you" the angel said as he flipped through his book. "Expecting me? But I'm pretty young I shouldn't be dead" he said scratching his head. "Well you are, no thanks to The System, oh well, at least you're not like the last guy to come through, let's check on your list of acts shall we?" he continued as he vomited in his mouth slightly.

"Wait! System? What System?" Erik tried to question, but the angel was already engrossed in every facet of Erik's life. "Hmm, uh huh, I see, welp the good news is you've lead a pretty normal life, the bad news is you're boring and have left a lot unfinished"

"Hey wait! Back up! What was that System thing you mentioned? What does it have to do with me?" the angel only stared as the rant continued. "Is it why my life is so suckish, why I have…had that disgusting massively icky thing on my neck! I demand to see the management!" after finishing his rant he waited for the angel to respond.

"It is highly blasphemous to demand anything from god" the angel said as he pressed a button on his desk.

_FOOF!_

_**777th: **closets  
_


	13. The Storm: Part I

**Book 2**

**Cover: The tornado scene from The Wizard of Oz, but with JtHM characters**

**Chapter 13: The Storm: Part I**

**A/N:** Originally I was going to split this fan fiction into 7 different parts, however I have changed my mind and this horrific sequel shall now be contained within one insanely long story. Though I have kept the divisions between each of the parts, as well as what the cover would look like if I were illustrating this story.

* * *

Dear Die-ary

So much has happened in the last few weeks since my return to this town. I've cleaned all the stains from the walls of my house, but as D-boy once said I'll never be able to clean the walls of my mind. Oh well I'd think I would be very boring if I were sane. I'll be breaking Squee out sometime next week, I'd do it sooner but with that storm approaching and the decrepit state of my house I'd think he'd be pretty freaked out. Meat won't stop talking about this, he says he stop if I at least acknowledge it but he's probably lying. Oh well, I'll still say it; I still have feelings for Devi. I already knew that, but she got a job at the 24/7 where I get my brain freezies and I saw her the other day. She looked horrified to see me, so I quickly left; I even dropped the freezy I was filling up. (GASP!)

She only seems to be working the day shift so, for her well being; I'll only visit at night. What time do they turn the freezy machine off at again? I can't remember, it doesn't matter, after the first couple clerks I'm sure I'll get it into my skull.

FUCK! Meat lied he won't stop talking about how I should talk to her or how I'll be a horrible influence for Squee.

I'm going to go out now; maybe I'll kill some hobo's.

Johnny C.

Johnny strolled through the darkened streets of the town. The weather people were reporting that the storm was only a few days away and the clouds and drizzles they were seeing now was just the "outskirts" of it. Nny pretty much ignored this as he looked through various alleys for someone to kill. Everyone seemed to be hiding and preparing for the storm, even the hobo's had gone to find shelter.

As he turned down an unusually well-lit street he found a group of people gathered on one corner. As he approached, hiding in the shadows, he noticed that these individuals each had one of their pant legs rolled up, like the guys he killed after emerging from the park two days ago.

As he silently approached the group he overheard them discussing a warehouse they were using. 'Perhaps I'll pay them a visit' the maniac thought as he considered every encounter he had with this gang before; none of them were good.

So engrossed with thoughts of violence he was, that he let down his guard and soon alerted the other people to his presence. "Hey! It's the fucker who killed Raoul's posse!" a man on the edge of the group shouted as he pointed towards Nny. "Fuck" the killer sighed under his breath as the group charged him emitting various curses and shouts of "get him!"

Quickly pulling two blades from his boots Nny cut down the two lead members of the group. About a third of the remaining gangsters panicked and ran in the opposite direction. They were the smart ones, the others soon found themselves in what they thought was hell on Earth.

A skinny, hooded member found himself losing his head.

A youngish looking lad was strangled with his own entrails.

A brutish fellow found his arms quickly stripped of skin and muscle.

Others died of various horrific stab wounds. Surveying the bloody chaos around him the serial killer soon resumed his trek, and found one of the few stores still open. Entering the establishment the maniac was greeted by the typical look of horror from the cashier.

After grabbing a cherry fizz-whiz from the fridges he made his way to the front of the store and, in his typical fashion, paid exact change for his purchase. Leaving the store without killing anyone was a major accomplishment in his opinion; usually he ended up with some sort of severed body part in his purchase.

After a while he finished the beverage and began to look for a place to toss the refuse. This is when he came across a crazed hobo attempting to break into a boarded up restaurant. Surprising the would-be burglar he shoved the can down his mouth and laughed maniacally as he tried desperately to remove the object, after a minute or two the hobo collapsed, dead.

It was at this moment that Johnny decided now would be a good time to return home and thus began his trek.

Devi's POV

Devi had no idea what she was doing. With the storm approaching Vince had boarded up the 24/7 and given most of the employee's, including Devi, the next few days off. She had been all too eager to not go into work. After encountering Johnny at the convenience store her agoraphobia had begun to return.

ALL four of the deadbolts on her door where now employed 24/7 and she was thinking about buying a fifth one. Or, at least they would have been employed if she was in her apartment. Earlier she had seen that the streets where mostly empty. Wanting to get a few more breaths of the relatively fresh air she had begun to enjoy over the last few months she ventured outside. After all who was dumb enough to walk around outside with a hurricane approaching?

"I am, that's who" she mumbled to herself as the familiar feeling of being followed began to grow. She began to quicken her pace, she was still fairly far away from her apartment but she was confident she would make it to the safety of those multiple dead bolts.

Johnny's POV

He had been following the group for quite some time. After he watched from the shadow's as they mercilessly beat some woman who had ventured out to stock up on food. He was unsure of what to do, he really wanted to get home, but these parasitic assholes pissed him off to no end.

So he continued to follow them.

About 10 minutes after he began stalking them, he realized that they had begun stalking another person. His anger rose as he quickened his pace, he saw them rush whomever they had been following. "Get away from me you fucks!" the purpled-haired woman shouted as she attempted to spray them with mace only to have the can knocked from her had.

'Purple-haired, no it couldn't be' the killer thought to himself as he began to run towards the skirmish. Then he saw one of the men lift a short pipe and swing it towards Devi's head. "FUCK!" he screamed as he broke into an all-out charge, as soon as he reached the group he quickly hacked off the assailants arm.

Turning towards the screams of surprise the killer nearly bisected the packs second-in-command. Looking past the somehow still standing corpse he saw the last guy attempt an escape only to fall into an open man hole.

Barely registering the sounds of the guy's skull cracking open as he fell, the maniac turned his attention to the prone form behind him. He reached down and checked to see if she was still alive, she was, in fact other than the gash in her head she seemed alright. Not wanting to frighten her, he turned to leave.

"You're going to leave her HERE?" the voice of Nail Bunny startled him. "Yup I want her to be happy, and I doubt waking up in my house would make her happy" he stopped walking to have the discussion. "But seriously Nny look around you this is hardly a safe place to leave her" the dismembered rabbits head commented as the rain began to intensify.

"Uuughghggh" Johnny turned to see Devi stirring, awakened by the heavy rain. She looked at him, her dazed eyes giving him a sense of shock, pain, and…loneliness? Just before she passed out once more, he wasn't quite sure he had actually seen the last one, but as he stood in the rain he silently debated whether or not to drag her to his house

After a few minutes he made his decision.

* * *

**777th:** she

**A/N:** well the stories really getting interesting now isn't it?


	14. The Storm: Part II

**Chapter 14: The Storm: Part II**

**A/N:** Part II coming your way!

* * *

"Ow"

The first thing she became aware of was the intense throbbing in the side of her head. As awareness slowly returned to her she noticed that, instead of lying on the sidewalk blocks away from her apartment she was on a fairly comfortable couch. With her eyes still closed she reached up and felt where the pain was coming from. She found that her head was wrapped in a crude bandage, which was still slightly wet where a small amount of what she assumed was blood seeped through.

"What happened?" she said aloud still with her eye's still closed. Images flooded back to her, walking alone, being followed, attacked, then darkness accompanied by the sound of tearing flesh. Her eye's snapped open at that last bit of recall, even in the ambient darkness she could tell she was not in her apartment.

She sat up on the couch and looked around as her eye's slowly adjusted to the darkness. The room she was in was relatively plain. It had a couch, table, and a television, as well as a lamp in the corner. Looking down at the table she noticed several objects set down on it. Once her eyes were properly adjusted she saw that there was a fizz-wizz can, a bowl of cold spaghettis, and a small bottle of pain killers on the table in front of her.

"That was nice" she said as she opened the fizz-wizz and using it to wash down two pills. After doing this she lay back on the couch and looked around some more. The couch itself was tattered and worn and one of the armrest had marks that looked like someone had dug into them with their fingers.

"Oh, god no" she said, horrified, as she realized exactly where she was. Her mind flashed back, first to earlier that night, a fuzzy image of that maniac standing over her, talking to himself while it began to rain. Then even further back, to the date, the near-kiss, and finally the attempted murder.

She got up quickly, overcoming a dizzying feeling she rushed over to what she remembered was the front door and wrenched it open. Only to be met with a wall of wind and rain this threw the door wide open. After talking a single step out into the maelstrom she decided she wouldn't be able to reach shelter soon enough, dejected she forced the door closed and then slumped against it.

Scanning the room a few more times she froze when she saw another door in the back open slightly, a pair of eyes watching from the darkness. The door closed soon after, leaving Devi alone, cold, and soaked with rain in the front room. She curled her legs up against her chest and wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to retain the warmth that should have pervaded the mid-summer air.

"_Well this is going to be an interesting few days, isn't it?"_ the head voice pondered. 'No it's going to be horrible' she responded, her gaze locked on the door, as if watching it would keep it closed. _"I think you should try talking to him"_ the doll suggested, 'He tried to fucking kill me, what's there to talk about?' the doll remained silent at this.

Johnny's POV

He had cracked the door open when he heard the front door slam open. Devi had tried to leave but had been stopped by the intense storm assaulting the outside of his little shack of a house. Watching her for a few minutes from the cracked door he realized two things;

One: she was still deeply terrified / pissed at him

Two: the blow to her head hadn't caused and serious damage

"You should go and talk to her" Meat encouraged from the dresser, "you should at least try to apologize" Nail Bunny attempted to negotiate from Nny's shoulder. "I can't, and won't do either" he said as he sat back down on his seldom used bed. "It's going to be hard enough for her just to stay here during the storm!"

"Well you can't just stay in here all the time, what if she tries to escape again? She could get hurt" Nail Bunny continued. "She's smarter than that, besides she already tried to escape and decided she couldn't, so there!"

"you can't honestly say you don't want to talk to her" meat continued from his cardboard box. "I mean, you **did** admit you still have feelings for her so why don't you just…"

"NO MEANS NO MEAT! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE THIS EXPERIENCE ANY HARDER FOR HER THAN IT HAS TO BE!" the maniac screamed as he jumped up from his bed. He ran to the door initially wanting to retreat into the basement and torture the few people he had dragged home, but he realized that this would probably not help, and so he sat in front of the door.

Devi's POV

It had been a while since she heard anything from Johnny's room; the silence had begun after some screaming about "meat" and "her." From her position at the door she could observe most of the house that made her feel relatively safe.

A few hours later she got up and sat back on the couch, the long stretch of sitting on the hard floor had been torture for her back and rear. Thus, she positioned herself on the couch so that she still had a relatively clear view of Johnny's door. Eventually her gaze shifted from a paranoid stare to a hungry contemplation as she stared at the bowl of cold skettios still resting on the table.

"_oh, come on its not like he poisoned it, and you __**are**__ hungry"_ Sickness taunted. 'What if he did poison it sickness? What then?' she thought back to the voice. _"Well he seems fonder of knives than poison"_ was the response, 'don't remind me.' After a few minutes of this she picked up the bowl and began to eat.

At first she started with a small amount; if it was poisoned then a small amount would only make her slightly sick, she reasoned. When no gut wrenching illness came she gradually began to take larger and larger bites.

That is when she heard the door slam open.

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT MEAT! WHY CANT YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" Johnny screamed as he backed out of his room. "NAIL BUNNY PLEASE, JUST BE QUITE, please?" his voice shrank on the last word. After a few moments of silence he screamed some more obscenities then ran to his basement door and slammed it behind him.

Devi could only watch and eat skettios during the whole spectacle. As soon as she finished the bowl she decided that he probably wouldn't be coming up from the basement and began to wander around the house.

It was cleaner than she remembered the floor boards where no longer loose, the walls looked like they had been redone. In general the shack no longer looked like it was occupied by a schizophrenic mass-murder.

She peaked into a couple other rooms as well. Placed the empty bowl on the counter in the kitchen, glanced into the surprisingly clean bathroom, and an extra bedroom with one of those infla-mattresses and a writing desk. She also made a quick glance into his room before returning to the couch.

It, like the rest of the house looked better, then again the last time she had really had a good look at it was when it was showered in blood and mirror shards. Taking a few steps further in she saw a few more things, a bed that looked seldom used, a nightstand, the mirror. She walked over to the mirror which, despite having his face smashed into it looked well off with only a few cracks.

'perhaps he replaced it' she thought to herself, before being overcome with a feeling that told her he had spent a lot of his time standing here in front of this mirror. This feeling shocked her and she quickly retreated to the couch. There she attempted to turn on the television to see how long she'd be stuck in this house of horrors. All she got was a static screen, so she turned her attention to the radio. Between bouts of lightning-induced static she was able to deduce that the storm would last a day or two.

Dismayed she slumped back onto the couch, and focused her attention on the basement door. A couple times she thought she heard agony filled screams echoing up from the lower levels and this scared her even more.

-A While Later-

"Yawn", she wasn't quite sure how long she had been sitting on the couch but she knew she was tired. _"You should get some rest, it won't help you fend him off if you're fatigued"_ The demented doll said, 'and what if he comes up when I'm asleep, he could kill me then.'

"_Oh please, he hasn't come up in hours what makes you think he'll come now?"_ Sickness responded. Devi didn't answer, she was too tired to.

Too Tired.

* * *

**777th:** screamed

**A/N:** well things are certainly getting interesting now aren't they? Instead of doing one of my in-between chapters next I shall instead continue this arc.


	15. The Storm: Part III

**Chapter 15: The Storm: Part III**

**A/N**: in this chapter Devi's harrowing ordeal of reencountering Nny for an extended period of time continues.

* * *

As consciousness slowly returned to her she became aware of another change in scenery. Sitting up on the couch she could tell she was now underground as the only light was coming through the little half-windows near the ceiling. Looking around her she could barely make out the scene, there was two couches, a chair, one of those glass-topped coffee tables, a lamp.

She stood up and, silently praying this house still had power, flipped the lamps on/off switch. Squinting in the sudden out pouring of light she took in her new surroundings. It didn't appear to be Johnny's, instead of having a just-fixed-decrepitness about it, this house appeared to have been well maintained until a while ago.

Looking back at the couch she woke up on she noticed a sheet of paper tapped to the table beside it. The message on it was in Nny's handwriting, and read like this:

Devi

I realize that this must be terrifying for you, waking up in my house and all that. So, hopefully this won't freak you out too much, while you were sleeping I moved you. You're not in my basement, you're in my neighbors, there's an underground tunnel connecting theirs to mine. You don't have to worry about them finding you; I think they moved out a while ago, right after they **threw their only son into a crazy house for no FUCKING reason.**

The last bit of the note was pressed into the paper as if he wrote it out of pure rage, and then crossed out, again in rage. Placing the note back on the table she wandered over to the stairway and ascended to the ground level of the house.

It had definitely been abandoned for quite some time, cobwebs grew in the corners, and dust covered everything. The windows had been boarded up she could still hear the storm raging outside. Turning on a few more lights she explored the level a bit more, there was a kitchen, a garage, living room, guest bedroom.

After attempting to turn the TV on, only to be met with more static she climbed the stars and looked around. There was a king-sized bedroom, closet and drawers devoid of clothing and possessions, a smaller bedroom covered in disturbing smiley-faced wall paper, its drawers still stuffed with clothing.

And finally a bathroom, after checking the gash on her head and redoing it with real gauze she rummaged through the medicine cabinet. Which she found stuffed with old medicine bottles, all with different names, and an unusually large number of bactine bottles. As she walked back to the stairs she noticed several family photos, all with the child's face angrily scratched out.

_CREAK!_

She was at the bottom of the stairway when she heard the creeping noise from the downstairs stairwell. Shuffling along the wall she reached the lower flight and waited until he was near the top. At which point she whirled into plain view and kicked him in the face.

_THUD!THUMP!WHUMP!WHAM!THUD!_

After landing face-first he turned over on his back to see what hit him. "WELL I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW! YOU'RE FIZZ-WIZZ IS GONNA BE ALL FIZZY!" he screamed up the stairs, pointing to the can he had dropped on the way down.

Devi leaped from the top of the stairs, intending to land on his mid-section. He however was able to roll out of the way, he then ran over to one corner of the basement and leaped into the tunnel, slamming the trap door behind him.

"_Awwwww that was nice, he brought you some food"_ Sicknesses voice rang out as Devi picked up the skettios can, the fizz-wizz, and the saucepan. 'Be quite' was Devi's only thought-response as she walked towards the kitchen.

A few minutes later she sat back on the living-room couch, eating skettios directly from the pan. Eventually, after she had eaten about half she got up and looked around some more. 'How does this place still have power?' she thought as she looked through some of the movies the owners had left. Most of them were children's film's so she sat back down on the couch and dozed off.

Only to awake to the sound of talking floating down the stairs from the child's room. 'Oh god he's back in the house' Grabbing the unopened fizz-wizz can she silently crept up the stairs and down the hallway. Peeking through the slightly cracked door she was met with the sight of Nny rummaging through the kids clothing and talking to himself.

"You're right I should have thought of this sooner" he said holding up a small shirt. "I mean look at this, no way it'll fit him now" he continued, motioning for someone near his shoulder to look at the garment. "Yeah I know he's not gonna like staying there any longer but he does need clothes" Devi was beginning to wonder what kind of shit he was planning.

"Hello Devi" She had been so lost in thought she hadn't noticed him walking towards the door. Stumbling back as he opened the door she threateningly raised the can of fizz-wizz. He flinched, covering his head with his arms. "umm, sorry about disturbing you like this I just needed to check the kids clothing" he said, arms still in a defensive position as he scooted past her along the opposite wall.

"Why?" she asked following him, can still raised in a silent threat. "Well he can't just walk around wearing those mental hospital clothes after I break him out" the murder explained as he carefully walked down the stairs backwards. "You're going to break someone out of a mental hospital?" She questioned, following him to make sure he didn't try anything.

"Well I can't just leave him in there, what with all the actually crazy patients scarin' him" he said as he walked backwards towards the second flight of stairs. "And it's not like those sad excuses for parents are coming back, I mean look at this place! It's been abandoned for years" he said before jumping down the stairs.

"J'aurais arraché leur rate et les battre à mort avec eux!*" he shouted to the empty basement before turning and seeing the look of confusion on Devi's face. "What? The kid asked me not to hurt them, and well a kid needs his parents" he said looking up at her.

"You just screamed in French" she said in bewilderment, wondering how he could speak a foreign language and not notice it. "I spoke French?" he said, a look of surprise on his face, before turning towards the trapdoor.

'that's how' she though as he turned back around to say something. "one more thing, if you want your friend, what's-her-name, to pick you up when this storms over, this houses address is 779 Alces** street" he stated as he descended into the secret passage.

Slightly worn out from the extended conversation with a murderer, Devi wandered back up the stairs, and sat back on the couch. After eating a few more spoonful's of skettios, opening the fizz-wizz which wasn't as fizzy as she expected, she managed to doze off again.

She woke about an hour later, carefully listening for any noises she looked around the room searching for any sign that he was back. He wasn't so she sat up, and noticed something she hadn't seen before. On the table next to the couch she was on was one of those 'Bub's Burger Boy' figurines. "Well hello, I didn't see you before" she said poking the ceramic figure and thinking about how lonely she had to be in order to talk to a statue.

"_Why couldn't you have just given in?" _a faint voice seemed to originate from nowhere. Looking around the room she saw no one and any electronics that could have picked up on some signal were all off. "_Down here" _the voice indicated that it was coming from the figurine.

'OH MY GOD NOW I'M HEARING MORE VOICES!' she panicked into her thoughts. She felt Sickness shift inside her mind as the faint voice started again. "_You're going to have to talk out loud, I'm not in your head like Sickness is" _the voice seemed to grow a little stronger as it spoke that sentence.

"How do you know about Sickness" Devi demanded, "_That's not important right now, what is important is what would have happened if you just went along with her plan." _Devi moved to face the new headvoice, "and what would have happened, oh wait! I would have lost all my talent and go horrendously insane!" she practically shouted at the figure.

"_In addition Nny would have had a chance to rest, to regenerate his creative energies, and regain his level of sanity pre-creative re-routing" _if the figure could move Devi suspected it would have made some dramatic gesturing during its speech. "_You could have had a second chance with him! Well unless you attempted the whole "Immortalize the Moment" thing on him, wouldn't that just be hilarious!"_

"No, it wouldn't, and I don't even want a second chance with him, he tried to fucking KILL ME" her voice increased sharply on the last words as she picked up the figure. "_You can't deny you're feelings, besides he's the only guy that you managed to connect to for an extended period, and soon he'll be the only human you can interact with, well, besides that kid Johnny seems so protective of."_

A piercing headache began as she entered the kitchen, "Sickness, whatever shit your trying to pull, if you don't stop I'm going to throw you in a blender when I get home" she angrily shook the statue with her words _"What? Why would I try anything, I'm already defeated_" the dolls voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"_Hey what do you think you're doing?" _the figurine demanded as she dropped it in a trash can. As she passed a window one her way back to the couch she noticed it was quitter, forcing the plywood covering open slightly she saw that the storm was mostly passed. Grabbing the phone she sat on the couch and dialed Tenna's number.

Her friend cheerfully agreed to come and get her, and while waiting she was overcome with a sense of doom.

* * *

**777th:** way

**A/N:** YEAH! So much stuff happens in this chapter. Here are some notes for those of you who cannot read foreign languages

*- Roughly translated this is French for "I should have torn out their spleens and beat them to death with them" – why French? well in one of those "Happy Noodle Boy" comics the crazed stick figure speaks French. So Johnny would have to know it to write it, I'm not saying he's French, just that he knows it as a second language.

For heaven's sake do not imagine a fully-French Johnny; it's both hilarious and deeply disturbing at the same time.

**- this is Portuguese for "Moose" see what I did there?


	16. A Filler Chapter

**Chapter 16: A Filler Chapter**

**A/N:** yay! An attempt at Filler Bunny! I suspect this chapter will be very short.

* * *

In a futuristic lab-looking place a large metallic slab with the outline of Filler descends from the ceiling. Releasing immense amounts of steam the slab opens to reveal everyone's favorite pink rabbit.

Who promptly falls flat on his face, his limbs twitch a few times.

A mean looking tazer / cattle prod type thing enters from off scene and zaps the immobile creature. "wha? Oh I'm alive" the pink fur ball stands while rubbing his head. "Well people it seems that despite my past escape attempts, the horrible shadow figures running my nightmarish existence think it'd be great for me to entertain you while the writer of this tale attempts to recover from a Food-Coma initiated by attempting to eat a 24-egg omelet in under 30 minutes"

A sound that resembles a demonic version of talking Charlie Brown adults emanates from somewhere off-screen. "What? Well I thought they deserved to know what happened" Filler tried to explain. "Well what if they want to know?"

_!_

"Ow, whoa, okay everybody join me in my entertaining adventures of fun-ness!" Filler exclaims after getting up, he then proceeds to hop merrily through several adventure-movie themed sets

The temple from the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Arc – fails to escape the giant stone sphere.

The race track from Death Race—blown up by other racer

First death stars trench – caught in the explosion

Snake pit from Raiders of the Lost Arc – swarmed by snakes

Various other movie scenes that flash by too quickly to be seen, at the end of this montage he appears covered in and debris and horribly burned.

"whoooyeee wasn't that the funnest adventure filled time you've ever witness?" he says slurring as he leans back placing his hand on a pipe. "I actually feel kinda okay isn't that just sad?" he slurs some more, after a few moments his hand begins to smoke.

More demonic trombone noises.

"hmmm? What? oh?" he responds looking down at his smoldering hand. He then begins to skip merrily down the halls; soon he begins to giggle insanely. "Well folks it seems those last tubes they shoved in my head severed something important!"

"I can no longer feel any pain caused by their adventures or torturous experiments, so now I can finally say…FUCK YOU, YOU MONSTEROUS BASTARDS!" he screams as he leaps into the air, whipping out a pair of knives that look like they were stolen from Nny.

He's practically flying through the halls at this point, slicing through wires, machines, tubes, all of which look 'sort of' important. Soon things around him begin to explode.

"whoooooo! This is great! I feel so free! Wait…I can see the exit YAY! Escape! Carrots! Candy! WORLD DOMINATION!" as he approaches the exit an electrical field covers it; he is zapped and thrown backwards.

"HAH! Nothing can stop me now!" he shouts as he throws himself at the field a few more times.

FADE OUT

OUR APOLOGIES

BUT THE FILLER BUNNY INTERMISSION SHOW IS EXPERIENCING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM.

* * *

A/N: wheeee that was fun and very short!


	17. Plans

**Chapter 17: Plans**

**A/N:** as Nny makes his final preparations for squees arrival, and the "art for the insane" program begins.

* * *

Nny watched through a temporary gap in the boarded up windows of his home as Devi and her friend drove away. Placing the piece of plywood back in its proper place he turned back to his living room. Walking into his room he notices that Rev. Meat is no longer on his cardboard box.

"Hello? Meat?" he questions thin air as he grabs his car keys. After searching a few more rooms he fails to find the figurine, "Hah! That fucking meaty guy must've finally given up!" He cheerfully exclaims as he steps out of his bathroom.

Driving passed the still boarded up 24/7 he considered buying a brainfreezy for his self and Squee but decided against it. It took him slightly longer to reach the D.H.M.I. than it normally would have for he had to drive around all the fallen trees and piles of dead hobos.

Parking in the nearly empty parking lot he walked up to the front doors and gave them a light shove. And to his surprise they opened without protest, looking through the deserted lobby he walked up to the front desk and waited for the old hag behind it to acknowledge his existence.

"May I help you?" the woman said in a monotone voice, "Yes, I was wondering if you were allowing visitors". "Well you got in the doors didn't you?" the woman's sardonic response angered him, but he resisted the urge to attack. "Yeah, well with the storm and all I wouldn't have expected you to" he explained as the woman brought up a sign-in sheet on her computer. "I'll need the patients name, your name, and relation" she said as she moved her hands to the key board.

"Todd Casil, Johnny Casil, and cousins" he stated, he watched her type this in and, as he waited for authorization he looked at some of the pamphlets to the left of the counter. Most of them were about identifying mental illnesses but some of the newer ones described reintegration and art programs.

"You may go in now" the woman stated as she handed Nny a visitors pass, grabbing the "Art for the Insane" pamphlet Johnny walked towards the crazy children ward. Entering the plain white room he looked around for a few moments before spotting Squee. The young boy was in a strait jacket sitting on the couch trying to watch tv while several crazy children screamed their delusions to the heavens.

"Hey Squeegee, what's with the jacket?" the maniac asked as he sat on the couch next to the boy. After emitting a small squeal the boy stuttered his response, "T-they blamed me for what h-happened to the Tourette's kid."

"Oh, sorry about that" he said gaze shifting to his feet out of guilt for inadvertently causing the kid pain. "Are you breaking me out today?" he looked back at Squee whose eye's where practically begging to escape this place. "Unfortunately, no, I was in your house earlier when I realize that none of your clothes fit you anymore." Squee seemed very dejected at this.

"Since you can't walk around outside with crazy house clothes on, I'm going to by you some new outfits" the murder continued. "I just need to know what size you wear" he paused to let the easily traumatized boy speak.

"I don't know" was his response, "oh well I'll just guess" the maniac pondered as Squee wondered why he was in his house "Nny, when you were in my house, you didn't hurt my parents did you?" the killer really didn't want to answer this, he knew where it would lead, but the look Squee was giving him made him respond. "No, I did not"

Squee easily realized something was up and questioned him on this. "Well, you see, ummm, your house is empty, it doesn't look like anyones lived there in a while" the sociopathic man felt his heart sink at the boys depressed expression.

"Hello there!" both males turned their heads towards the overly enthusiastic voice. It was a nurse, "I'm sorry to say but visiting hours are over." Getting up from the couch, the maniac waved goodbye to his former neighbor as he was lead out.

He drove around for a few more hours, hoping to find a clothing store that was open. Finding none he returned to his house. "Well this just sucks!" he exclaimed as he kicked his car door closed. "At least your actually trying" Nail bunny encouraged. "hmm" was the murderers only response, after looking through his house once more to make sure Rev. Meat had not returned, sat on his couch and turned on the television.

Devi's POV

"Sooooooo, ya mind telling me how you ended up in a house half way across town?" Tenna questioned her exhausted friend. Sitting silently in the passenger's seat for a few seconds Devi glared at her friend before responding. "If you really must know I was stalked by some thugs, attacked then knocked unconscious, then apparently rescued by that guy who tried to kill me on the first date." Devi rattled off a basic summary of what happened.

"Whoa! Did he try anything murder-y?" her friend questioned. "No he just bandaged my head, gave me some skettios, and put me in his neighbor's house" she answered as she slumped in her seat. "Maybe he's gotten better" Tenna suggested, "I don't think so, before he moved me to 779 he screamed at some people named Meat and Nail Bunny." At this moment they began to pull into their apartment buildings parking lot.

"Wait how'd he move you to a different house during the storm?" Tenna asked as she was getting out of the car, Devi, however was already heading through the doors. Sprinting up the numerous stair ways it only took her a few minutes to reach her apartment, and after locking all the deadbolts she bounded over to where the doll was being kept.

"OKAY! I know you're up to something you little bitch!" she screamed at the crippled figment.

_CRACK!_

The sound of ceramic against bone was soon followed by a thud as Devi crumpled to the floor. "What the fuck! You were supposed to knock her out not kill her!" the irate doll screech from her prison. "Relax she's still alive!" came the response from a nearby table. "Where does she keep your eyes?"

"The purple back pack, in her bedroom" Talking was already taking a toll on Sickness. A small thump was followed by the sound of small footsteps retreated into the distance. The sounds returned a few moments later, the small figure then jumped up on the shelf holding the painting.

"Here" the figurine said as he handed sickness one of her screw-eyes, he let her replace that one before handing her the second. He then went to work pulling the paint brush from the dolls torso, and with a wet sickening squelch the utensil was removed.

"What the fuck! You're supposed to help me, not kill me" the doll exclaimed as it fell forward. "Well okay then next time I won't help at all" the other figure sarcastically responded as he tossed the brush a side and watched the wound close up. "Uuuhhhh" both figures looked towards Devi who was slowly regaining consciousness.

"She's waking up! Go now!" the doll shooed the figure that promptly faded from existence. She then turned towards the now awake Devi, "Hello again mother" the woman stared at the doll in shock for a few seconds "H-how'd you get out?" Jumping down of the table the demonic doll responded, "Oh I had help from a friend, a crazed, hamburger wielding friend"

"Listen, we sort of got off on the wrong foot last time, what with me trying to siphon all your creativity and you impaling me to that canvas and all" the doll continued as it walked over to another table which it gracefully hoped up onto. "So this time around I'm going to make you a deal, I'll only take half your creativity, and you'll only be half a raving lunatic, how does that sound?"

Devi only stared at the doll with a blank look before picking up the doll, and squeezing. "AACKK! F-fuck!...organs 'splodin'" was the only thing the doll could utter as Devi dialed in the combination for the safe in her apartment. Throwing the doll in, and quickly closing the door after she smiled at the struggling sounds from inside.

Walking into the kitchen she dragged the blender from a cupboard and plugged it in. Wanting to test the always malfunctioning machine she flipped one of the switches, and the appliance promptly burst into flames. "FUCK!" the woman screamed as she reached for the miniature fire extinguisher she kept.

After putting out the blaze she could only stare at the blasted piece of hardware as a voice rang through her head._ "I'm here to stay this time mother, let's just say that was a yes"_ was the dolls remark. Devi was going to scream some sort of comeback when the phone began ringing.

-"Hello Miss D (phone static)?"-

"Speaking"

-"Great! I'm the receptionist at The Defective Head Meat Institute, I am calling to confirm your participation in the Art for the Insane program"-

"hmmm, Yeah, I will still be participating"

-"Great! Just show up at the Institute around two p.m."-

"Okay"

Devi put the phone back on its stand as she slumped into her couch wondering what she'd do about Sickness.

End: 3/7/2012 9:38 p.m.


	18. Ruined Plans

**Chapter 18: Ruined Plans**

* * *

It had been almost a day since Johnny had left Squee at the Institute. During that time his activities had, for the most part consisted of killing some of the people he previously dragged into the basement. Of course he would occasionally wander into the Casils house, mainly just to look through the boys clothes a few more times, to make sure he would get the style of clothing the boy hopefully still liked.

Currently he was absentmindedly applying a fresh coat of blood to the wall before he realized what he was doing. "Fuck!" he screamed throwing the brush across the room. "I am NOT a waste-lock anymore! I don't have to feed the FUCKING wall!" he screamed as he ran towards the stairs, before turning back. "YOU HEAR THAT YOU FUCKING PLASTER MONSTROSITY! JOHNNY C. IS YOUR SLAVE NO MORE! AND I'LL NEVER BE EVER AGAIN!"

The maniac screamed insanely as he ran up the numerous levels past the few people he had captured. He blew through the empty upper two levels and quickly found himself in his living room. After catching his breath the maniac glanced at the clock and saw that he had spent an entire day in the lower levels.

"Well now's a good a time as ever" he spoke to the air as he grabbed his keys and headed for his car.

He soon found one of the thrift stores was open despite being in one of the hardest hit parts of town. He wandered through the fairly large store for a few minutes, eventually winding up in the "boy's" section of clothing. He found several shelves that held styles similar to the old garments in Squees room, guessing at a size he tossed a few combinations into the cart and made his way to the register.

The young woman behind the register was lethargically chewing gum and held a look on her face that said she really didn't want to be here. "Excuse me, I would like to buy this things" Nny stated as he pulled into the line. "Whatever" the woman agitating said as she roughly pulled the clothing from the conveyor belt.

As she slowly rang up each of the items Nny noticed how each price was always one penny short of a whole dollar or half of one. "Hey why do they do that?" he inquired pointing to the screen that held the individual prices. "Do what?" she asked as she began placing the items in bags. "Make all the prices one penny lower"

"I don't know that's just how it is" she said as she loaded the last items. "It would make more sense to make the values whole wouldn't it?" he asked as he began to reload the cart. "I…uh…suppose that w-would make sense" the woman twitched slightly, "but that's just how it is."

"Why? I mean seriously? Why?" the maniac questioned as he pulled out. "I…uhmm…donno is just, just h-how" the woman began to twitch a little more violently as she pondered this. Johnny swore smoke and flames were going to start shooting out of her ears, and as he made his way to the door he heard the woman fall over and bystanders scream about a seizure.

Chuckling at the woman's pain the maniac made his way through the parking lot, barely noticing the group of one pant-leg rolled uppers crowding around his car until he was there. "Hey what the fuck are you doing?" He screamed and the crowd turned towards him, and then charged. Through the charging crowd he could see that the car had been covered in all sorts of graffiti, keyed, and several windows were broken.

"WHAT THE HELL!" the maniac screamed as he pushed the cart out of the way while he whipped out two daggers and began tearing through the mob.

While he was busy impaling two members two each other with their own crowbars he failed to notice two others splitting up one going behind and one cautiously approaching from the front. The two soon charged attempting to get close enough to shoot him, he however ducked out of the way at the last second causing the two to comically shoot each other.

After a few minutes of this scuffle the few fatally injured survivors began crawling away. Johnny had already thrown the thankfully blood stain free purchases into the trunk when he passed out.

He immediately woke about a minute later. "Fuck" he sighed as he got in the car, he hadn't slept in about two weeks and now his body chose to remind him of that fact, when he needed to be at his most awake.

Agitated he drove through the city until he came across one of those wifi café things. He quickly found himself inside the empty establishment looking through the menu, trying to find the most caffeinated option. Making his choice he walked up to the black woman behind the counter and attempted to make his order.

"Excuse m—

SQUEAK!

"Umm, well miss—"

SQUEAK!SQUEAK!

This time he looked for the source of the sound, which he found to be a small skeleton squeak toy the woman had with her. Taking a large gulp of air he prepared again to make his order.

"Excuse me, I would like a large Super-Caffinated m—

SQUEAK!SQUEAK!SQUEEEEEAAAAAA-

"GODDAMNIT!" the killer screamed as he grabbed the doll from the womans hand and impaled it to the counter with a screwdriver. However, not wanting to deprive himself of vital caffeine in this seemingly abandoned coffee house he refrained from killing the woman.

"I WOULD LIKE TO PLACE MY ORDER NOW!" he screamed, practically jumping over the counter. "H-here" the woman said as she held up a large cup, glancing nervously at her trapped companion. "How'd you make that while squeaking your infernal toy?" he asked wrenching the screwdriver from the counter and talking the toy off.

Only getting a shrug in return he threw exact change, and the toy, over the counter as he walked out to the store. Before the doors shut he heard the toy give out an exasperated near-squeak.

He drove back to his house and placed Squee's new clothing into a closet. He sat back down on the couch while he sipped away at the drink which undoubtly held enough caffeine to kill a horse.

10 minutes later he found a parking space near enough to the D.H.M.I. but far enough away that he wouldn't be recorded as he dragged Squeegee from the Asylum. As he walked along the side walk, the main building slowly coming into view he heard police sirens off in the distance. Since he never got caught for anything he ignored them, but as he was about to cross a street he felt a stinging sensation in his back just before he fell over and heard the sharp _CRACK! _Of bone against concrete.


	19. Flusher Tales IV

**Chapter 19: Flusher Tales**

**A/N:** this chapter details Erik's adventure through hell…also there will be a surprise character within it, along with a bagel guy cameo.

* * *

_FOOF!_

"Aannd, now I'm in hell, right?" Erik said out loud as he got to his feet. "Congratulations you got it on the first try!" Erik turned to find himself facing a fairly tall, thin man standing near what looked like some form of taxi, he was wearing a fairly nice suit, yet his hair was wild, dark-brown-almost-black mess. "Who are you?"

"I shall be your your Tour Guide for your little visit to Hell" the man said as he opened the passenger and motioned for Erik to enter. Erik climbed in as the driver walked around to his seat and started the vehicle. As they drove along Erik looked out the windows at the surprisingly earth-like scenery. Seeing his confusion the tour guide spoke up, "I know, not what you were expecting eh?"

"Well it's never what anyone's expecting, this area of Hell is for people to stupid to realize that they were committing sins" he explained as they entered a more populated area of hell. "There is a specific area of Hell for really nasty people like Hitler, Stalin, that one Chinese guy, and almost myself" he continued as they turned a corner.

"Wait, what did you do? And how did you escape that nasty area of Hell?" Erik asked, the monstrous pimple-crater aching slightly as he tried to move his neck. "Oh I killed a few thousand people, and as for the escape part, I slowly weaned myself off killing, and then sort of refrained from doing so again for almost 19 years, then I died. Oh yeah, and the ghosts of some of my victims invaded my dreams and turned every night into a miniature Hell on Earth." The man explained with excited glee.

"HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE THE DECA-KILLER*!" Erik shrieked in terror as he attempted to escape from the mass murderer, only to find the doors and windows locked. After a few moments he calmed slightly and his driver began to speak, "Well now that your moment of pants-shitting terror has passed we can continue this vital learning experience."

"Okay, I've already told you how most of the people in this place were too stupid to see their sins in the living realm" he reiterated. "Well, you see, that trend continues down here, this place is really nothing but a continual smorgasbord of pride, envy, lust, and…oh Gluttony!" he enthusiastically shouted while pointing in some direction.

Erik turned his gaze in time to see some fat guy fly through a store front window and into the path of a Tour Bus. "I gotta tell ya' for the first couple years that is hilarious, it gets a little old after a while though…where was I?" he said driving past the bagel-obsessed road kill. "oh yeah, down here people are continually tormented by the stupid stuff they fretted over and sinned in real life before dying how they did while alive"

"So, um, Mr. Killer what are you tormented by?" Erik asked the notorious serial killer. "Well as you know I weaned myself off murder, I eventually developed quite the aversion for it, hence, down here I am forced to re-kill all the people I killed while alive, at least the ones that ended up in hell, which were most of them." The last part was said as he ran over some douche-bag-ish looking guys hitting on some girls who were clearly not interested.

"Like that, and to answer what's probably going to be your next question, every time I, or my wife, walk into a hospital, we explode" he said while turning into a parking lot. "Well, Deca sir that's incredibly random" Erik said as the murder parked in a spot. "Please, call me John C.**"

"C? Don't you have a real last name?" Erik interrogated trying to get his mind of the grotesque things the man had done. "Yesss, well" Mr. C. pointed towards the "Hello my Name is…" card every taxi has, and Erik's eyes almost popped out of his skull. Though the man's last name started with "C" the rest of it had too many vowels, not enough consonants, all arranged in a manner that forced you to twist your tongue into a Mobius loop just to pronounce it incorrectly.

"Don't even try pronouncing it, follow me" the man said as he got out and started walking towards a building. "Where are we going now?" Erik shouted as he caught up with his tour guide. "We're are going to see Satan, he wants to talk to you about some demon weasel, oh yeah and when you speak with him you shall refer to him as…ah crap"

Erik looked up to see what the matter was; he then realized that they were standing at the entrance to a hospital. A devious grin spreading across his face Erik got behind the murderer and pushed him through. The man fell flat on his face and quickly got up, freezing for a few seconds before checking his body to make sure he hadn't exploded. When he was sure everything was still intact he pointed at Erik and screamed, "HA! Take that you fuckwad!"

_BLAM!_

And lo the murders organs did decorate the hospital's lobby. Stepping over his former guide, Erik was lead into the E.R. and into a room with three demons. One dressed in scrubs was applying some sort of hellish disinfectant to the smallest ones knee. The smallest one was hissing as it fizzed on the scrape, and the tallest one answered "Well that's what you get for blowing up a school while you're still inside it."

All now became of Erik's presence, and the tallest one, clearly the devil, got up. "Mr. Frederickson, I've been expecting you" he got up and handed something to the terrified man, it was a demonic bird cage holding the weasel. "Don't try anything" Satan told the smaller demon before indicating Erik should follow him.

"Well I'm sure you have a lot of questions" he said as he and Erik exited the hospital. "Yeah, like what was that system thing I heard about in heaven?" he asked as he examined the weasel. "The System, is, more or less the plumbing of the universe, its sole purpose is to pull in and concentrate negative spiritual waste into specially cleared out spaces."

"Okay so what does that have to do with me?" he continued the train of thought. "Well that disturbing blemish that formerly resided on your neck was one of these spaces" Satan explained, pointing to the bloodied crater.

"And where does the weasel come in?" He asked holding up the cage. "The weasel is a "flusher" an entity chosen to maintain and stabilize the space, or lock if you will, until such time that it becomes too full, at which point the flusher dies, and the waste escapes only to find the rest of the universe has ceased to exist, it is then overwritten when the universe resets." Erik was trying to wrap his mind around this and not have his head explode, he was encountering mixed success. "So what happens now?"

"You are both being sent back"

"Really? both of us?" Erik gave Senior Diablo a quizzical expression. "Other than carrying around that crap I don't seem that important"

"You aren't, but we've recently lost a rather…efficient flusher, and don't really want to take the time to train that little vermin to accept a new lock-bearer. The pimple should start returning after a month or two." After Satan finished his explanation he waited for Erik to respond, Erik however, waited too long.

_ZZT!_

* * *

**A/N:** * -Fictional serial killer named so because at the height of his rampage he killed 10 people every single week.

**-Yessss its Johnny's father, Yessss he was a serial killer, no he was not a waste-lock.


	20. Captured

**Chapter 2): Captured**

**A/N:** some weird n' crazy stuff happens in this chapter

* * *

DREAM SEQUENCE

First there was nothing but blackness, well it lasted for what felt like hours, or was it seconds? Days? The small part of Johnny's mind still "conscious" didn't know. all he knew was that he hated sleep, and this sleep was worse, the more time was consumed floating in a void of empty subconscious the longer Squee had to suffer the horrors of a mental hospital.

'Fuck!'

The insomniac groaned internally as the empty dreamscape filled itself with distorted shapes which organized themselves into a nightmarish hallway lined with doors. Hating himself he walked along the hallway looking through the barred viewports, each allowed a glimpse at the padded cells within. Each contained a patient, either babbling psychotically or drooling catatonically. Grimacing at the sights he averted his eyes and continued, despite knowing what lay ahead.

He finally reached a large metal door whose sign read "Experimental Head Poking Room" hesitant he pushed through the door. Inside he found himself beholding young Squee strapped to a chair, various wires attached to his body and the metal helmet- thing on his head. Several shadowed lab coat wearing figures spoke in demonic whispers from the edges of the room.

The horrific experiments soon began as the small boy was zapped and prodded repeatedly. Unable to watch for very long the maniac lunged forward to stop the experiments but found himself stopped by a force field. He was forced to watch the horrors continue before the dream became all runny, like it was melting and then flushed into the center of the scene.

Next thing he knew he was in his basement, in front of the wall. As he got up a series of thumps originating from the stairs drew his attention. He turned in time to see one of the shadow figures land on the floor, it was followed by a thin young man.

It was Squee, much older, scarred marks on his temples from where he had been zapped for so many years. The clearly deranged dream-squee almost happily bounded over to the work bench that still held many horrific instruments of torture. Johnny looked away he knew what came next, evil Squee would mutilate the shadow and feed its blood to the wall. He hated this dream, it reminded him of how he failed to help the boy years ago.

The dream world dissolved as Nny desperately tried to rouse himself from slumber. However as he attempted to open his eyes all he got was a glimpse of a jail cell and a window doing one of those movie transition things where the sun and moon slid across the sky in rapid succession.

This was, however only a temporary success as he found himself back in his dream house. Not hearing any insanely murderous squeeing he turned towards his living room couch, and found a dream-Devi slowly leaning towards his doppelgänger, lips almost touching.

"OH GOD ANYTHING BUT THAT!" conscious nny screamed as he attempted to avert his gaze. "What's this goddamned scenario going to be!" he lamented wondering if it would be a replay? Success*? Successful murder? Reversal**? Burnout***?

His terrified questions where soon answered as the familiar scene of him running into his room and Devi following played out. Instead of the sounds of serial killer having his ass handed to him, all that is heard is a female scream and all that is seen is blood seeping out from under the door.

At this horrifyingly depressing scenario conscious Johnny screams as it dissolves into the void. Soon he is overcome by a bizarre falling sensation.

END DREAM SEQUENCE

A scream ripped through the precinct as Johnny fell from the bunk he had been placed on and landed dully on the floor. Quickly getting up he surveyed the scene, he was in a jail cell, not an actual jail, one of those holding cells in the cop headquarters. Looking over to the other cells he spotted several other criminals cowering in the other cells.

"You! where am I?" he demanded of the occupant in the cell across from him. The beefy man only flinched and let out a small whimper of fear as the door to the cellroom opened.

Detective's POV

Detective Brown rushed into the holding cells after hearing the scream of terror emanate from it. Pushing the door open he was met with the sight of a disturbingly thin man screaming at the other terrified detainees.

"Oh, Well it looks like sleeping beauties' finally awake" he sarcastically mused, flinching slightly as the murderer glared at him.

"What the FUCK are you talking about?" the irate man demanded. "Well sir you've been asleep for about six days straight" the detective said as he entered the codes to activate the trapdoor. "SIX DAYS! I'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR SIX **FUCKING** DAYS!" the clearly deranged man screamed something about hating sleep and that sound fan girls make before the floor opened up, dropping him into an interrogation room.

Five minutes later the killer was firmly strapped to a chair with Brown sitting across from him. "Let's discuss why your here." The man only glared at him. Placing photos of the crime scene on the table, "six days ago at the Thrifty Palace several 911 calls were placed describing a horrific massacre of Pantalones gang members" the man only growled at him.

"A man fitting your description was described as doing this, and we know it's you, so, why'd you do it?" at this Brown activated the recording device. "THOSE FUCKING HOLES MESSED WITH MY CAR FOR NO GODAMNED REASON!" the volume in the small room was ear piercing.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'S GONNA BE TO GET THOSE STAINS OUT? AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO GET NEW WINDOWS!" the man began to violently shake the chair, to the point where it fell over. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS! HHIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS! FFTTT!" Brown could barely contain his laughter at the whole spectacle.

His restrained smile quickly turned to a worried frown as the sound of crackling wood reached through the crazed screams. The chair practically exploded as the man jumped up and pushed over the table. Falling backwards Brown reached for his gun…only to be interrupted by a former chair leg entering his skull.

Johnny's POV

After killing the asshole who dared laugh at his misfortune Johnny picked up the man's gun and quickly emptied the clip into the one-way window, when this failed to shatter it he picked up the remaining chair and struck it multiple times. As soon as it shattered he grabbed two more chair legs and leaped through.

Dispatching the occupants of the observational chamber was a little difficult considering his lack of real weapons. A fact which was quickly solved by looking through the evidence bags which conveniently held his knives. Barging out into the hallway Johnny was met with a wall of police, which he gleefully charged into.

Most suffered the typical horrific knife wounds/disembowelment, others were killed by friendly fire, and the remaining two had their heads rammed through the vending machines placed before the door leading into the main area.

After surveying his work, Johnny stepped through the door and was met with the sight of a small army of S.W.A.T. members, marines, S.E.A.L.'s, and other professional tough guys. Stepping back through the door Johnny reached into the vending machine for two bags of chips, after which he stepped back out wearing a smile so demonic it caused several members of the armed forces to involuntarily shit themselves.

* * *

A/N: * Devi and Johnny kiss & live happily ever after…until Kirk breaks out during another date and shoots Johnny.

**Devi accidently kills Nny.

***In an attempt to fight off the voices Nny is reduced to a quivering blob of mentally exhausted meat.

Eventually I may write these scenarios…eventually


	21. Art for the Insane

**Chapter 21: Art for the Insane**

**A/N:** this chapter shall be a collection of short stories detailing the events of each day in the "Art for the Insane" program…guess who Devi gets assigned to? Guess, I dare you.

* * *

DAY 1: Introductions

Devi sat in the main lobby of the D.H.M.I. around her were several other artists. She could tell that some were more…contemporary…than she was, talking amongst themselves about famous dead artists, and making fun of newer artists. She could tell some were talking about her, she heard whispers about some of the art she had in galleries, calling it dreadful compared to more "normal" artists.

"C'mon, just drag'em back to your apartment and stab'em" Sickness was getting stronger, she could feel it, but every time she went to buy a new blender the store either didn't have any in stock, or they would burst into flames, sometimes before she even plugged the damn things in. "Attention! If everyone could follow me you'll all be assigned to your patients!" Dr. Kopf called from the door leading to the child's ward.

Walking through the halls she got a glimpse at other assigned patients, most babbled insanely, others were just catatonic. "Alright, Miss D(crazed screaming)*" Kopf asked as he looked up from his clip board. "Present" she said pushing her way passed the remaining artists. "Okay, Good, now I must warn you this patient hasn't been known to be that violent, but in recent times he has hurt his roommate and attempted to blame his crazed neighbor-figment" he explained as to large orderlies positioned themselves near the door.

"I'm pretty good at defending myself" Devi responded as the doctor opened the door. "Well just in case, if you need help just scream" he said as he shut the door behind her. Turning around she found the brain-freezy kid from the 24/7 siting, straight-jacketed, on his bed. "Hello again" she stated as she sat on the bed across from him. "Hey, why are you here?" the nervous boy asked.

"Well, I am here to teach you how to paint out your craziness" Devi cheerfully stated, "Do you draw at all?" The boy nodded, "do you have anything I could look at?"

"Yep, it's under my bed" giving the boy an odd expression she reached under and found a stack of papers nestled in the frame. Looking through the stack Devi saw some fairly crude, but good drawings to go along with the written tales. "These are pretty good"

Two hours later Devi entered her apartment, they wouldn't allow real art supplies in yet so she had just sat there reading the kids stories, they were good. Heading to the kitchen she prepared to try another blender, when it didn't immediately explode as she plugged it in her hopes raised a little. Then immediately crashed as she turned it on, it emitted an ominous scraping sound, followed by something inside of it melting onto the counter. She then threw the broken machine into the massive pile that had developed in the kitchen and sat on her couch.

End Day 1

**A/N:** *-if this were an illustrated book I'd hide Devi's last name behind some cleverly placed objects

* * *

DAY 2: Sketching

Devi again walked through the halls of The Institute, upon entering the room she found the familiar sight of Squee sitting on his bed in a strait-jacket. "Good morning Squee, how was your day?" she asked the young mental patient as she set down the few supplies she was told to bring. "It was okay, no aliens tried to abduct me and I wasn't attacked by zombie mental patients" the boy seemed a little happier today.

"Okaayyyy, well today they let us bring some art supplies so I was thinking you could begin to sketch out some ideas for a painting" she motioned to the sketch pad. "However I wasn't expecting you to still be in a strait-jacket so I'm not quite sure what to do"

For the first hour all they did was sit around and wait for approval to remove the restraint. Once the harness was removed he began a basic sketch. Devi realized early on that the kid had real talent for drawing and so the remaining time was spent with her watching, and occasionally giving tips on perspective, proportion, etc.

After the session Devi spent most of the rest of the day trying to sketch something for herself. Failing at this, she turned on the television hoping to catch one of her favorite shows. However every channel seemed to be preoccupied with some special announcement from the chief of police.

"I am pleased to announce" the fat officer shouted as he took a bite from one of the many donuts attached to his hands like rings. "that the Serial Killer that once terrorized this town and recently returned…Dramatic Pause/Donut Eating…has been caught!" the crowds uproarious cheers drowned out anything that was said after that.

Shocked at Johnny's capture Devi just sat there slack-jawed. "Awwwwwwwww, you're worried about him" Sicknesses voice was as loud as it was before Devi defeated it. "I am not, just shocked it took them this long for them to get him" Devi spoke out loud, too shocked to think inwardly.

End Day 2

* * *

DAY 3: Finished Drawing

Not much was said during this day, Squee just continued his drawing as Devi occasionally glanced at it. Despite the boy taking a little longer to start than the other day he still managed to finish a basic outline of what he wanted to paint. The scene consisted of a little sketch-squee in the middle; on the left was a flamethrower wielding teddy bear, on the right a weird horned nightmare creature.

As Devi sat in her apartment she looked again at the drawing, the more she looked at it, the more it seemed the two figures were fighting over the child. Putting the pad down she turned on the television and tuned to a news channel where the police chief was giving an interview.

News Room POV

REPORTER: "Well everyone we're here with Chief of Police Krapfen, tell us lieutenant what are you doing with the killer"

KRAPFEN: "Ummm, well we haven't actually done that much"

R: "Why not?"

Kr: "because, weelllll, he hasn't been conscious these past few days, we can't interrogate him, can't charge him with anything (donut munching sounds)"

R: "Oh, well I suppose now would be a good time to open the anonymous comment lines, just dial the number at the bottom of your screen and lay your opinions on us"

R: "Okay we have a caller, tell us what do you think of this development? Has the killer been unconscious for three days? Or is he faking?"

-"Oh, he's not faking"—

R: "How do you know?"

-"Because he despises sleep, he does everything in his power to avoid it; staying awake for weeks or months just to collapse and sleep for several days straight"-

R: "And how do you know that?"

-"He told me, he ranted about it a couple times when he visited me in the bookstore where I used to work"-

R: "You went on a date with the killer?"

-"Well I didn't know he was a killer at the time! Before that he had been completely normal! A nice guy! And the date was actually going pretty well up until he tried to KILL ME!"-

Kr: "HOLY SHIT! Why didn't you call us!"

-"I DID CALL! I MUST'VE CALLED OVER FIFTY TIMES AND EVERYTIME I CALLED BACK ALL I GOT WAS A 'DUH, WE NO KNOW WHATCHA TALKIN'BOUT'! I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? ARE YOU STUPID? OR ARE YOU JUST SO INCOMPETANT YOU CAN'T CATCH ONE SKINNY MOTHERFUCKER LIVING IN A RUN DOWN SHACK!"— (Line goes dead)

Devi's POV

Devi stared at the crushed remains of her phone for a minute or two before returning to her drawing room

End Day 3

* * *

DAY 4: Onset of Depression

The poor organization of this program really came out on day four; no artists were allowed paint so they were forced to sit in the rooms all day long. "Maybe that was their plan all along, to force people to interact with these loons" Sickness had been trying to fill her head with more paranoia all day, that was really the only one that stuck.

Trying to take her mind off devious plans Devi glanced over at the boy and realized that he looked kind of sad. "Hey are you okay little guy?" she asked the kid could only look up sniff and shake his head "yes".

"Do you want to talk about it?" a head shake "no" and they just sat there for an hour more before Devi returned home and managed to get some personal work done before heading off to the 24/7 for her shift.

End Day 4

* * *

Day 5: Canvas and Depression

Today was the day; those idiots up in the management finally approved the use of paint. Unfortunately they soaked up about half of the time with a rather paranoid check-in process. Where they repeatedly tested the material to make sure they couldn't be used as a weapon.

As soon as Devi entered the room she noticed the little child lying on the bed clearly depressed. "Are you sure you're okay kid?" the boy sat up at the sound of her voice, cheering up slightly. "I'm fine, are they really letting us use paint?" as Devi nodded she unpacked the various tubes, a mini-pallet she bought recently, a couple new brushes, an easel and canvas. "okay so the first step is to transcribe your sketch onto the canvas" she explained as she handed the boy one of the softer drawing pencils, he hopped up onto the stool in front of the easel and began.

By the end of the fifth session the canvas was filled with a vague outline of the scene which the kid had come up with. The inter com chimed indicating that the 2 hours was up, "aw I really wanted to add some color." "Well squee I guess you'll have to wait for tomorrow." Devi curtly stated as she pack up the unused supplies. After placing the canvas and easel in a spare room, Devi headed off to her monotonous job as a cashier at the 24/7.

End Day 5

* * *

DAY 6: Colors and Psychology

Devi was amazed at how quickly the little guy picked up on techniques, and at how sane he appeared compared to the other children. She had shown him a few simple brushstrokes which he was now using almost expertly to infuse his drawing with wondrous color.

Most of the background was a dark red, like in a sci-fi movie when something goes horrifically wrong all the emergency lights come on giving the base/spaceship/building ominous mood lighting. Currently he was mixing some sort of dark almost black purple which he began applying to the horned demon.

This session ended with a completed painting, the background a dark ominous red, the little painting-Squee tinted red by the lighting, the dark purple demon had white and light purple stripped horns, and was wielding some wicked looking knives, the flamethrower wielding teddy bear looked like, well, a teddy bear covered in stitching.

Instead of being allowed to leave like all the other days, Devi was instead lead to an office where the painting had been sent to dry. A few minutes later, and an angry call from Her boss, Dr. Kopf entered the office as well. "So why exactly am I here?" Devi agitatedly asked as the head-poker sat in his chair. "I just want your opinion of Mr. Casil's work" he responded pointing towards the easel.

"Well it's pretty good, if he wasn't in an institution he could become a professional artist, that and he seems fonder of writing" Devi sat up as she gave her opinion. "Well, great, thank you, will you be attending the little art show we've set up for some potential donors tomorrow?"

"No, I don't think I will" Devi said before getting up to leave. "Are you sure? It'll be a pretty fun night" the doctor clearly had something planned. But it was too late Devi had already left the office and was well on her way out of the building before he could try to talk her into anything.

End Day 6

DAY 7: Devious Plans

Devi slept in this morning, not only did she not have to go in today but her asinine boss forced her to work late to make up for the time she had missed. When she finally did wake up she didn't do very much. She tried another blender; this one just plain didn't work, sketched out some ideas, this monotony continued for a few hours before she decided to turn on the TV.

Flipping channels aimlessly for a few minutes she finally settled on a news channel claiming 24/7 coverage of the Killer. "They won't hold him forever you know" Sickness chimed in during a commercial. 'Shut up Sickness, just shut up' was Devi's thought as the screen displayed the image of a woman standing in front of the VCPD* headquarters.

REPORTER: "We're reporting to you live from police headquarters as word has reached us that the killer has finally woken from his sleep. We've been told that Senior Detective Kenneth Brown has bravely volunteered to interview the Level 20 killer**."

(A faint scream is heard from inside the building)

CAMERAMAN: "ummm that doesn't sound so good"

R: "shut up, Cameramen aren't supposed to be heard"

(More screaming followed by the sound of breaking glass)

R: "Well my loyal viewers it seems something has gone horrifically wrong inside the police headquarters and judging by-

(A cacophony of horrified screams and gun fire emanates from the building several distinct shouts can be heard)

"NO DON'T PUT THAT THERE!" "WAIT I'M ALLERGIC TO CHEESE!" "DEAR LORD I'VE LOST MY VOICE BOX!" "WHERE'D MY SPINE GO!"

(These screams intensify and then suddenly cease, for a few dramatic moments all is quiet)

Then the door slams open and Johnny steps out into the sunlight, drenched in blood and guts fiddling with a gore covered chip bag. As he descends the front steps he opens the bag and pulls out…a perfectly intact chip, he continues to munch this free snack while he walks away leaving bloody footprints in his wake.

For the rest of the broad cast all Devi could do is sit on her couch an expression of horror on her face.

_KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Looking through the peep-hole, Devi groans at the sight of Dr. Kopf, quickly she unlatches all the dead bolts. Only to be thrown back as several orderlies barge into the room depositing Squee's painting, a suitcase, and eventually the strait-jacketed boy himself. "Hello Miss D(orderly stubs toe unleashing scream of pain), We realized that during all your sessions with little Todd here that he behaved completely normally, so we're giving him to you"

"You can't just drop a kid on me! What am I supposed to do!" she screamed at the mental man. "Oh don't worry it's only a temporary thing, a social worker will be over later to set up some sort of foster system thing" he then slammed the door behind him leaving the two to stare at each other awkwardly for several minutes.

"Ummm, do you think you could undo this strait-jacket?"

* * *

**A/N:** *-For lack of a better name the town shalt be dubbed "Vasquez City"

**-forensic psychiatrist Michael Stones "Scale of Evil" for rating murderers. Goes from level 01 (self-defense killers) to 22 (Torture-murderers, Torture is primary motive with some sexual motivation)…..Johnny is knocked down a few pegs by his schizophrenia and hatred of any sort of physical contact.


	22. Flusher Tales V

**Chapter 10 (22): Flusher Tales**

* * *

**C.t.H.M.**

"Tonight was really great!" Caroline happily commented from the passenger's seat. Normally, when she did go on a date, she'd insist on driving her car, but it was currently suffering from an inordinate amount of pedestrian bits caught in the suspension. "Yeah you were right that movie was a hoot! And commenting on peoples psyches was pretty interesting as well"

Her date just so happened to have a degree in psychology just like herself. After the film had finished they had spent about half an hour sitting in the theaters lobby psychologically picking apart the actions of other patrons. They had gotten kicked out after one of their targets broke down and started screaming about how abusive her father was.

Despite their similar degrees they differed on focus, while she had disorder diagnosis, he had behavioral analysis/criminal behavior. He was also, coincidentally, the analyst for the local FBI unit tasked with hunting her down. Which explained why the profiles published by the unit were always so off, he had yet to notice some of her more blatantly "serial killer" behaviors.

"So how was this for the second date?" he asked nervously as he turned the corner. "Second?" she asked as she pointed which street to turn on. "Welllll, I kinda figured the convention had counted as a first. "hmmmmm…." Caroline thought as she remembered the "Serial Killers through History" convention where they had met.

She had just come from causing a brawl in the "Jack the Ripper" room over the identity* of the killer and had found herself the "Deca-Killer" room where he was having a debate with his superior. She jumped into it picking up right at the moment where they were discussing what really caused him to stop killing. The two had, however quickly found themselves alone as the others had gone to break up the now massive brawl, the pairs conversation started off psychological, but quickly shifted to other subjects.

"Yeah, I suppose that was pretty nice" she half-mumbled as they pulled into her driveway. "Hey, you wanna come inside?" she asked and got a nod and odd smile as a response. _"Oooooh, he's planning something, quick kill him before he does something humiliating!"_ one of her figments broadcast into her head. "Shut the hell up" she whispered under her breath as she unlocked the front door.

They eventually settled down on the couch again talking about the movie, and then the convention. "Say, what do you think about the local serial killer?" Sigmund asked, after they finished debating Jack the Ripper. "Hmmmm, well I don't know, I'm mainly about talking to people to figure out what's wrong with'em…." She feigned unsure-ness but inside she was cackling manically.

After this they sat in silence for a while slowly leaning closer to each other. As they got closer she started to feel something she shrugged off as nerves, before it evolved into a burning sensation in her spine and hind-brain. Doubling over in pain for a few seconds she jumped up of the couch and ran to the basement, leaving her date in stunned silence.

"FUCK! WHY NOW?" she shrieked as she entered the torture cellar. The rooms had rearranged themselves so the wall-room was now on the first sub-level. The surface of the wall was already beginning to pulse and vibrate as the nastiness began to build up behind it at a much greater pace than before.

Running over to some of the barrels of extra blood she kept she found only enough to keep it contained for a few hours and threw it over the lock. "Oh dear lord!" whirling around towards the noise she saw Sigmund staring in utter shock. As he began to run back up the stairs Caroline grabbed the troll-like figment** which normally urged her to blow shit up and chucked it at his head.

A while later he awoke bound to a chair. Struggling against the restraints for a few minutes he failed miserably and then began to look for some way out, and instead found Caroline perched on a bench across the room. "Oh goodie you're awake, I was beginning to think I may have caused some serious damage" she got up and moved towards her former date.

"You're probably wondering why I haven't killed you yet" Sigmund could only nod in fear. "Well, the reason is fairly simple; we managed to form an extended emotional connection, which is something I usually can't too without scaring, killing, or sending the person I connect with into mind numbing insanity, I just thought you deserved an explanation"

"For why you kill! I already know! You had a fucked up childhood, your parents were abusive and now you kill people in their place!" he screamed while attempting to break the restraints. "HA! Nope! My parents would never have laid a finger on me! In fact if my father knew what I did he would be mortified that I'm following his path with all this killing!" she screamed back.

"Then what's this explaination you're talking about! HUH!" he tried screaming to be heard. "Well the real reason is behind that wall" she said as she pointed towards the blood-stained thing. Sigmund tried recoiling in horror as the seal was already wearing thin and something was pushing through.

"You see Dear Sigmund" she started as she tightened a strap around his upper arms cutting off circulation. "Behind that wall lies a semi-sentient mass of negative human emotion and if I don't coat it with blood the thing will break out" finishing this she walked over to a tool case. "WHY!" he shouted after her, "Well would you rather have it running amok causing all sorts of chaos, war, crime, baby pinching, and other such unpleasantness?"

"I MEANT WHY IS IT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. "Well, I am a waste-lock, basically a pump in the universes plumbing, soaking up negative emotions and storing them in there" she threw a few knives out of the case which landed points first in the floor. "Well technically I'm a backup, only taking in minimal amounts until one of the others gets incapacitated by something, when I doubled over in pain earlier that was me taking over"

After finding a rather mean saw-like blade she walked over to him and hacked off his left hand the blood drained quickly from the limb, the strap kept him from bleeding out immediately. After his scream of shock/agony died down Caroline moved the blood bucket over to the right side. "You know I'm probably taking over for that guy in Vasquez city, he probably got his face beaten in by another date" she speculated as she hacked off his other hand. "A—are all-l serial k-k-kilers these lockh type thingges" Sigmund stuttered through pure agony and slight blood loss.

"No, not all serial killers are Waste-locks, conversely not all waste-locks are serial killers, like that weasel…kind of" she explained to her dazed victim as she hacked into his circulation deprived legs and drained those limbs. The man unleashed on last cry of anguish before falling into unconsciousness. Draining the rest of his body of blood and dragged the bucket over to the wall. After painting the wall with his blood she grabbed her keys and headed out to gather more victims.

* * *

**A/N:** *-there was this one American doctor living in Whitechapel at the time of the murders he was arrested on the minor charge of "lewd conduct with another male" but what really makes me think it was him is the collection of **Human uterus's** he was reported as having.

**-before I forget Carolines four(4) figments are based on the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Name-Apperance-Horseman

Pustulio-the flea figment-pestilence

Morte(Mort, Morty)-typical grim reaper-death

Ares-A troll w/ammo belts and RPG's (that work)-War

Faiman-a stick figure or human proportion figure(the feeble voice)-Famine


	23. Broken Promises

**Book 3**

**Cover: Some sort of beached sea monster**

**Chapter 23: Broken Promises**

**A/N:** Johnny laments over losing Squee kills some more gang members, MEANWHILE! At Devi's apartment, stuff happens

* * *

Johnny wandered about the city eating his chips, attempting to remember where he had parked his car. Upon finishing the bag he tosses it into a nearby garbage can, only for some random hobo to smack it off trajectory before it goes in. Already pissed at being captured and sleeping for six day's strait Johnny chucks one of the remaining chair legs at the man. Though it wasn't enough to cause serious damage the impact sends the hobo falling backwards right under the wheels of an approaching garbage truck.

Leaving the garbage men to clean up the mess Nny continued to wander through the town. After about an hour Johnny found his car about a block from The Defective Head Meat Institute, and like he should have expected it was surrounded by gang members. "Why the fuck can't you assholes just leave me alone!"

At the man's screaming about two-thirds of the group scattered, either finding a hiding place, or running home for new pants. The rest foolishly stood their ground, pulling a variety of knives and/or guns from their waistbands. Johnny quickly lunged at the nearest assailant hacking him up in a way that cause the remainder to either faint or flee. After stuffing a few of the unconscious ones into his trunk Nny decides it wouldn't be a good idea to walk into a mental institute covered head to toe in gore and decides to return home. After incarcerating his latest acquisitions in his torture cellar he changed his clothes and drives back to the parking spot which is thankfully still empty.

Sprinting up to the building in order to avoid another capture Johnny entered the familiar lobby. Which was being watched over by the same vulture-esque woman as before, he takes a moment to calm himself, and then walks up to her desk. "Hello again, I'm here to visit my cousin, Todd Casil" The woman only glares at him as if she were trying to stare into his soul, after a few moments he becomes filed with an uncomfortable feeling mixed with agitation. "Why are you staring at me like I've got moose flying out of my ears?" he askes, trying not to sound angry. "We did a background check; there is no record of Mr. Casil ever having an older cousin named Johnny; there isn't even a record for a "Johnny Casil" so whoever you are just get out" the woman points towards the door.

"Okay listen, I may not be the boys cousin, but I'm the only human being who ever tried helping the kid, so just let me see him." Trying to hold in his anger Nny stands his ground. "Listen you creep the kids not even in the institute anymore so seriously, leave" this time she waves towards the door.

"Could you at least tell me where he is?" the maniac questioned in a clearly agitated voice this time. "Listen you perv-"the woman does not get to finish her insult as Johnny quickly began stabbing her repeatedly. "WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONES MIND IN THE FUCKING GUTTER!" he screams as several other people in the shrieked in utter horror.

Not wanting to chance another capture Nny makes short work of these people. Hopping over the receptionist's desk he searched through the computers files hopping to find where the boy was. Unfortunately all he found was that the boy had been transferred out about an hour before he had arrived and was assigned to a social worker named "Rosemary Diablo".

Pissed at this development the murderer shoves a grenade through the computer screen and runs out the door. Getting to his car just before the small device reduces the lobby to smithereens the irate maniac decided to return home and sulk over this new failure.

Devi's POV

It had been about two hours since the institute's staff had dropped Squee into her apartment. In those two hours not much had happened, she had, with some difficulty undone the strait-jacket and then they both just sat awkwardly on the couch for a while. At some point the kid had grabbed the remote and began flipping through channels.

"He doesn't seem very crazy now does he?" Sickness observes. 'No, nope, he does not, now stop talking' Devi is in no mood for the dolls shit. "Nny, now he was some kinda crazy, talking to Styrofoam and whatnot" the doll continues anyway. 'shut the hell up! And how do you know he was talking to Styrofoam?' she probably shouldn't be enabling the figment, but did so anyways.

"Dontcha remember those to Pillsbury guys next to the mirror you smashed him into? And then he mentioned a "Psychodoughboy" during that recording and blah, blah, blah, blaahhh…" realizing that Sickness was trying to torture her with memories of Johnny and thought about buying some firecrackers to throw in the safe.

_KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Looking through the peephole like she did every time someone knocks, Devi is greeted with the image of an older woman wearing a simple dress and a large cross necklace. Quickly undoing all the dead bolts she opens the door allowing the woman to enter, immediately she heads over to Squee.

"Hello Todd how have you been?" the woman starts as Devi sits in another chair. "Good, I'm happy to finally be out of that place" the small boy shudders at some awful memories. "That's nice, say where's your things?" the conversation continues, the woman speaks in a rather calming voice. "They're in a spare room"

"Well you'd better make sure everything's there" the woman suggests, Squee gets up and heads down the hall. Turning towards Devi the woman begins, "Well, I'm sure you've got a lot of questions." Shifting into a different position Devi responds "that's an understatement! First off how exactly can they just dump a kid on some random person, doesn't he have relatives?"

"He does have parents, they're the ones who placed him in the institute in the first place, and well, they moved out of town a while back" the woman says in a hushed voice. "They just got up and left?" Devi responds, astonished. "And that's not the worst part, they didn't actually put him in as a patient, they handed him over as a test monkey."

"A test monkey!" Devi, wondering how someone could do that, trys to continue the hushed tone. "Indeed, and the contract expired about a month ago, without parents or sane relatives*, the institute began looking for some place to drop the kid"

"They tried a foster home, but something horrible happened to it, they aren't quite sure what happened but it somehow involved Simon says." Mrs. Diablo glances down the hall way to make sure Squee is still in the spare room. "And that brings us here, they were really too lazy to really look for another foster home and decided to place him in the next stable place they found."

"I see, and he'll just be staying here while the foster system looks for some nice family to take him in?" Devi questions as Squee comes down the hall. "That's the plan…Oh hey there Todd, do you have everything?" She turned towards the kid. "Mmyep, they even gave me Shmee back" the kid confirms this by holding up some old, stitch covered teddy bear. "Oh, well isn't that nice, Hey I have to go for now, but I'll be by later this week to talk somemore okay?" Rosemary says as she stands. Devi also stands and hods the door open for the woman "Two more things I wish to know Miss D (Crazy cat neighbor screams 'bout kittehs)"

"Yes?" moving into a more conversation friendly position Devi allows the woman to continue. "Well, first off, why do you have four deadbolts, and secondly what's with the massive pile of blenders in your kitchen"

"The deadbolts are because of this psycho I went on a date with once, he kind of stalked me for a while after that, haven't seen him in about four years, but he recently started popping up again." Devi pauses to let this sink in, "As for the blenders, it seems every time I buy a new one it just breaks spectacularly, I've been meaning to throw those out, or maybe sell'em for scrap, I just haven't got around to it"

"Hmmm, well okay, I'll call tomorrow to give you more information" the woman says before turning to walk down the hall. Devi closed the door and returned to the couch to find Squee staring at the bear as if he were listening to it. "Was he your imaginary friend or something?"

"Yep, he wasn't very nice, at least not to other people" the boy said as he placed the bear on the table next to the couch. "_I'm only trying to give ma boy some advice, what's so wrong about that?" _Devi groans at the new voice emanating from the bear.

"Are you okay?" Squee asked. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm going to go paint now, if you need anything just knock" She said to the boy as she got up. "_this girls just gonna disappoint you like that pathetic neighbor did" _Devi turns towards the insulting bear to find Squee looking at it with a mix of "I don't believe that" and depression on his face, not wanting to worsen the apparently depressed boy's situation Devi slowly closes the door behind her.

* * *

**A/N:** *-she's talking about Grandpa Hatey not Johnny, She probably doesn't know about Johnny.


	24. The Beach: Part I

**Chapter 2 (24): The Beach: Part 1**

**A/N:** Devi, Tenna, and Squee decide to go to the beach, while johnny sulks and tortures some people.

* * *

Devi and Squee are both sitting at her kitchen table, both of them had gotten up relatively early and they were both eating some cereal at the moment the phone began ringing. After dumping what was left of her bowl Devi grabbed the new appliance and answered.

-"Hello Miss D (Phone static) how did things go after I left yesterday?"—it was Mrs. Diablo.

"It was okay we mostly just sat around and watched some television, I gave him a sketch pad to doodle or write on, he seemed to like that"

-"hmmm, well that's nice, listen we've already begun to search for families to take Todd in, we should have one in a week, however, as you've probably noticed he barely looks like a normal 10 year old"—after she says this Devi looks over at the unusually pale, and thin kid.

"Yes, I have noticed, do you suggest I try to "normalize" him?" she jokingly remarked.

-"No, just try to spend some time outside so he's not so pale, you could go to the park or beach or something…"—

"Hmmmm, well okay"

-"bye then!"—the woman enthusiastically replies before hanging up.

Devi returns the phone to its receiver before sitting on the couch, soon Squee joines her. "Was that Mrs. Diablo?" the boy asks after placing Shmee on the couches armrest. _"Great! the AntiChrist's mom is your social worker, I tell ya' Todd, if I'm a trauma sponge, you're a trauma magnet!" _Devi manages to ignore the bear's faint sarcastic remark. "Yes, she said you should spend some time outside so you aren't so pale"

"Oh" and they both just sit there staring at the TV for a few minutes before a frantic knocking begins at the door. Undoing the deadbolts for what seemed to be the billionth time this week, her best friend Tenna barges in waving Mr. Spooky around. "Where the hell have you been all week? I've been trying to call you! Some crazed loon stabbed Spooky just cause I was squeaking him while filling the guys order!" the energetic woman squeezed the doll which only let out a faint half squeak.

As she closes the door Devi could have sworn she heard a faint _"ow"_ come from the injured squeak toy. "Well Tenna, my phone broke, and as for the last couple days I've been a little busy" Devi explains, pointing in the direction of the couch.

"Oooo, who's this little guy?" Tenna was getting uncomfortably close to the kid. "Squeeee" Devi wasn't quite sure if he was saying his name or squealing in surprise. "Squee? That's an odd name, so why are you here little Squee?" the energetic woman sits next to the kid. "The crazy house didn't want to keep me anymore so they just dumped me here" a look of vague depression mixed with relief flashed across the kids face. "Awwww, here talk to spo…" the woman cuts herself off when she remembers the toys injury.

The boy hands her his bear, "You can talk to Shmee about it, he helps me with bad or scary things." Tenna holds Spooky in one hand and the bear in the other, she looks at the tattered stuffed animal like she was listening intently. Devi's too far away to hear the bear's voice but based on the boys frown it wasn't being very nice.

"Well that's a pretty good point there Shmee, but if I burn down the coffee hut I'd be out of the job!" Tenna hands the bear back to Squee, whose look of shock tells Devi that Tenna somehow heard the Pyro-bear. "So what are you gonna do?" Tenna directs the question towards everyone in the room. "Hmmmm, well the social worker suggested we go out to the park or beach so he's not so pale when they start trying to set him up with families" Devi shudders at the overtly happy look on Tenna's face. "YAY! You have to get out of this apartment now!...I mean the beach would be perfect it was just cleaned from the storm so there won't be that many people there…what do you think Squee?"

"B-but the suns so bright and I'm REALLY pale! I'll just burn up like toast or a bug under a magnifying glass! Even if I don't there's a bunch a 'scary critters in the ocean that just wanna gobble you up! There's even this one critter…I don't remember what it's called b-but you can't see it and it can still kill ya!" after this little rant ends the boy just shivers in pure terror for a few seconds while the two women just stare in shock. "Umm, well we don't have to go in the water; we can just build a sand castle or something" The boy calmed considerably at this suggestion. "EEEEEeeEEE! This is so great! You're finally getting out more!" the excitable woman dragged the two out of the apartment. "Wait Tenna! The kid needs a swimsuit!"

"We'll buy him one on the way there!" The woman shouted at her two reluctant companions down three flights of stairs and into her car.

Johnny's POV

The maniac has been sitting in the same spot for quite some time. "Hey, Nny how have you been?" the murderers head wobbles onto its side and finds Nail Bunny floating on the armrest. "Horrible, I've failed Squee, I said I'd break him out and I was captured, distracted, held against my will, I broke that promise…if he didn't hate me before he'll surely despise me now"

"You can't really say that, I mean he is out, you just weren't the one to get him out, I think you should track down this "Diablo" woman and ask her were the boy is" Nny considers the levitating rabbit head's advice. "You know, that's actually a great idea" The schizophrenic declares as he grabs his keys. Since he hadn't had one in a few days Nny decides to first purchase a brain freezy. He quickly fills up the jumbo sized cup and returns to the counter where the owner of the establishment is manning the register. "HEY! You're that guy who caused my employee to waste stock! I demand payment for what was lost!" recalling the painful encounter with Devi the killer fishes through his pockets and brings up enough for two brain freezies.

"This is all I've got" he hands the wad of cash to the irate man. "that ain't nearly enough you wasted a whole carton of fizz-wizz; I want to be paid in full, with interest" the man said as he pulled out a baseball bat and swung for Nny's hand. Leaping backwards, and and somehow keeping the freezy from spilling, he carefully dodges repeated swings until one of the man's lunges sends him plunging strait through a shelving unit and into one of the windows.

Happily slurping his drink Johnny decides to let the horribly injured man live, if he could. Cheerfully tossing the required amount of legal tender at the prone body, he exits the building. Once in his car he realizes he has absolutely no idea where to start his search and just randomly drives around town, taking random streets until he unconsciously found himself heading out of town and towards one of the relatively nearby public beaches.


	25. Flusher Tales VI

**Chapter 25: Flusher Tales**

**A/N: **Well here comes another F.T. won't it be interesting? Anyway in this chapter Caroline rants about her job as a back-up Flusher.

Caroline sits curled up on a bench across from the wall, glaring at the spiritual septic tank as if it were about to get up and attack. "What's wrong Caroline?" one of the voices calmly asks. The murderess glances over at the dog sized flea next to her. He is dangling his legs over the side of the bench as he looks at her with the most worried face a flea can manage.

"I'm not quite sure, the wall, feels weird...I don't know how to describe it" She says as she places her feet on the floor. "Well that's no surprise! Waste-locks aren't supposed to know what they are for a reason! They start to spend too much time lamenting about shit and not enough time maintaining the seal!" a cloaked figment shouts from a nearby bench.

"You're a fucking liar Mort! I know what I am and I always maintain that fucking seal!" she jumps up and puts her face excruciatingly close to the figment. "And besides I have memories from each of you guys about Flushers that figured out what they were after a while" she pulls away from the figment and walks down the stairs, the two figments following close behind.

They wander, almost in silence through the labyrinthine thing of a basement; they pass numerous rooms, some empty, others not so much. "Hey bitch! Why don't you come in here and face me!" Caroline turns to the door and merely slammed it on the rude persons face; the only sounds that make it through were some muffled expletives. "Hey why didn't you kill that guy?" Mort asks, frustrated that he was deprived of violence.

"I've got several coats on the wall, it can wait" she told the irate creature as she trudged down a flight of stairs. "Wait? Wait until what! Tell me!" the creature demands as he bounds after the Flusher. "Until I figure out exactly why the wall feels weird, I'm not abandoning my duties, I just want some answers" she explains as she looks at the pair suspiciously. "You know we can't tell you, you have to figure it out on your own" the flea figment explains, as they all trudge down a flight of stairs.

"I know it just seems to help if I am looking at one of my figments" she said before leaping down the last few steps. "It's been what? Eight months since I took over? It just seems a little more active than it should be" she questions air as she neatly dances around a puddle of fear-urine released by one of her captives. "Maybe there's a war going on" Mort suggests, as if trying to break this train of thought.

"No there isn't, I checked no wars, no international pissing matches" her lament continues as she walks through the hallways. "Although some of the news stories have been getting quite chaotic recently" she rests against the frame of a door way while thinking about all of the weird stories, and then a few in particular stood out all centered on one city. "That Flusher, in Vasquez City, he stopped killing…he's nowhere near his lock is he?" she turns towards her figments, the flea nods in approval, Mort then slaps the back of his comrades head.

"Okay so he was let go for some reason, but he should have been replaced immediately" she continues to ponder as she restarts her trek through her house. "Well then, that would mean that the candidate beat the first recruitment attempt…" she trails off as she leaps over the hand rail of a stairway and lands on the lower flight. "and without the other flusher there as a link to The System, there's no way the figment could garner enough strength to try again" she concluded as she looked in to a room filled with restrained people.

"I absolutely love this whole 'forbidden knowledge' thing I've got going on" she said to no one in particular as she walked through the room. The two figments followed shortly after, the occupants of the room simply stared at them, sure that they were hallucinating from hunger. "That still doesn't explain the walls weirdness" Caroline mumbled to herself after going through some head-exploding spirit-math.

"Which could only mean he was an unusually efficient flusher, right?" she asked while pointing to the two figments. "Nope! Not at all! Every flusher is exactly the same in efficiency!" Mort attempted to wave off the suggestion while the flea figment gave what could be considered a thumbs up behind his back. Mort quickly turned and found Pustulio giving this gesture. "Why you little traitor!" Mort screeched before tackling the flea and attempting to throttle him.

Satisfied with this sort of answer, Caroline ignored the two brawling figments and continued on her trek through the basement. "Hey psycho bitch!" She had wandered through several levels before the call came out from a room on her left. "Yeah you heard me!" the speaker was a drug dealer she had dragged home about a week ago. "When my posse realizes where I am they are gonna stomp yo face!" the man exclaimed as he struggled against his restraints.

"They're never going to find you" she told him as she uncoiled some extension cords and plugged them into the wall socket. "Oh please! How hard is it gonna be for them to just follow you here!" he said as he began to struggle a bit more. "Excruciatingly hard, I have been followed by cops, federal agents, P.I.'s, even a creepy ass stalker or two, they all ended up lost or dead" she explained as she messed with the oversized alligator clips at the ends of the cords, emitting a few sparks as she approached the man.

The man's horrified screams echoed through the unnatural subbasement, striking fear into those who still lived.

Words: 955

777th: on

**A/N: **Well here is a nice little intermission, a lot of weird stuff is happening is it not?


	26. The Beach: part II

**Chapter 26: The Beach: Part II**

**A/N:** The Adventure continues! Somewhere a bulimic cat pukes up the food it just ate! An…oh, wait…shit I have to clean that up now, well anyway here's the chapter.

* * *

They had spent about an hour searching around the store for a swim suit. Squee had eventually settled on a Hawaiian design, and they had spent about the past hour in the car. Pulling into the parking lot Devi realized that Tenna had been right, while there should have been hundreds of cars and people, there were only, maybe a dozen or two currently present.

After parking the car relatively close to the entrance to the beach, the car's occupants get out and quickly apply sunscreen to themselves. Squee was still clearly scared of being burnt as he came just short of dipping himself in a giant vat of SPF 100. "I got the castle stuff!" Tenna excitedly says as she grabs the newly purchased supplies. Devi grabs the blankets and whatever is left and the odd group makes their way to the beach.

Just as Tenna passes through the gate onto the sand she is run down by a vaguely familiar green kid who seemes to be getting horribly burned by something. He is soon followed by a scythe-haired boy who was carrying something that appears to be nothing more than a glass of sea water. After helping the young woman to her feet they continue and set up camp about 100 feet from the water's edge.

While Devi remains on the blankets Squee and Tenna move off a little ways and began to construct their castle. _"D-devi" _Devi looks around for whoever had spoken, but only finds Mr. Spooky. She picks up the injured squeak toy and stares at it with dread, "Don't tell me, you're another voice come to torture me into insanity" she groans in a near-whisper. "_I am nothing like Sickness!…I am actually more like the boys bear-friend…only with less pyromania"_

Devi looks around to make sure there's no one around to see her talk to the toy. "So you're a "Trauma Sponge" or whatever." The toy emitted what sounded like a pained sigh before continuing,_ "Yep, I soak up all of Ten's depression and fear like nobody's business" _it pauses to catch its breath. _"Excuse me I've not been 100% since that loon ran me through" _the small doll seemingly hunches over in accordance to the action.

"Hey, did you just move?" Devi though she saw the toy gesture a bit. _"Yes…I've been attached to this body longer so I can move around a little bit." _The toy wiggles an arm to show off, _"So anyway where was I? Oh yeah, I soak up these negative emotions to keep our mutual friend, and to some extent those around her sane" _

"Why didn't you stop her from helping Sickness the first time?" Devi inquires. "Shut up! Don't tell her a thing you creepy skeleton toy-thing!" Sickness interrupts in a sort of panic-y voice. _"She's already beat you once…she deserves to know something!" _the toy waves its arms along with this comment. "Wait! You can hear Sickness?" she squeezes the toy tighter with each word, trying not to scream out loud. _"ACK!...We originate from the same realm so we're forced…to help those kind of t-thinngs along…as for hearing your figments yes we can hear them…Shmee's told me about the crazy neighbor man having someone called Reverend Meat"_

"So the kids not as crazy as the shrinks believe" Devi had been given a file on the kids "head-voices" and had read all about the neighbor man. _"Either that or shmee went loony trying to absorb the boys crazy all at once…if you could put me back down that would be nice…I need to rest" _Devi puts down the toy and then walks over to the sand castle. The construction of which had quickly gone from normal sand castle to oversized project that you could live in. "Oh hai Devi!" the woman looks up to find Tenna and Squee peering over the wall. "Isn't this just a little big?" she asks of her two companions. "No it's good, hey are you hungry?" Tenna asks as she patted some more sand onto the wall

"Yeah I was thinking of buying something from the concession stand do you…want me to get you something?" She was going to ask them to come with her but a wall collapsed at that moment. "ummmm, no we'll come with you" and the two jumped off the wall and the group began to walk across the seemingly abandoned beach towards the food stand.

Johnny's POV

He had no clue why he was here, he was supposed to be looking for Squee or that social worker but he had now where to start so he just drove around randomly until he found himself at the beach. He could do nothing but sulk on the roof of his car, listening to the sound of the waves.

_BONK!_

_THUD!_

Johnny fell off his car as a volley ball bounced away. Rubbing the area where it had hit he looked around for the owner. "Hey man could you give us our ball back" Johnny turns to find some guy who vaguely resembled the surfer-dude stereotype. Not really in the mood for anything he picked up the ball and was going to give it back when the guy said this;

"Whoa man you sure are a wacky looking fella aren't ya?"

So instead of giving the ball back immediately he took out one of his innumerable knives and cut it open. Handing the lump of leather back to the man he was about to get back in his car when he was pulled back and thrown to the ground. "What the hell man! All I wanted was my ball back!" several of the man's friends were preparing to beat the shit out of Nny when a screaming erupted from the water's edge. "SHARKS! FLYING SHARKS!" screams of terror could be heard as people ran past the small confrontation. The first guy turns back to his previous task only for something to land on him with a resounding "THUD!" It was a shark, a great white with several pieces of red-ish technology attached to it, including jetpacks and artificial gills that had a triangular antennae-d insignia on it.

So shocked at seeing their friend devoured by a flying shark the others fail to notice Nny jumping on top of the creature until he began to control it. Sticking his hands into the wires on top of its head he pulled and tugged on them sending the monster flailing about like some sort of man-eating mechanical bull. He used the monster to chomp his former assailants in half.

All while laughing like the lovable lunatic that he is.

Devi's POV

The small group sat at the table eating their mid-day snacks and generally having a good time. Except for the fact that, despite the absurd amount of sunscreen he had applied to himself, Squee was already starting to burn a little. Devi headed back to their spot to pack up her things, there she found a group of kids playing on Squee's castle while being watched by a lifeguard. "Excuse me" Devi looks up from collecting their stuff to find the life guard standing over her. "Yessss?" she replies as she finished packing their stuff. "I was just wondering if you knew it was illegal to build massive sand castles on this beach" he states matter of factly. "Ummm this is a beach, you're kind of supposed to build castles, and besides I did not build that one" she triedsto walk away but he followed.

"Listen I've got several witnesses that say you and two others where camping near that when it was being built so just give it up" he forcibly stated as he continued to follow. "Listen you…" Devi was cut off by frantic screaming from down the beach. Both glance towards the commotion but when Devi turns back she was met with the sight of the guard's legs jutting from the blood drenched maw of a cyborgic great white.

Partially grateful that any attempt to talk to a guy ends horrifically Devi manages to grab a nearby chair and partially beat back the beast before throwing the piece of furniture in a random direction to distract it. The ploy worked and she begins frantically running back to the parking spot where the car was located, when she got to the gate she turned back for a few seconds. And gasped in shock as an army of cyborg sea creatures flew through the air…before spontaneously combusting, raining teeth, shrapnel, and burning shark chunks down upon anyone unfortunate enough to be underneath them.

The drive home was filled with an awkward terrified silence.

* * *

**A/N:** wheeeeeeee! That was fun random and adventure filled wasn't it!


	27. The Masked Marauder

**Chapter 27: The Masked Marauder**

**A/N:** woopeee! Here comes an all-Nny chapter, anyone who knows Vasquez's explanation of Johnny's past, alliterative nicknames for comic book characters, and has a sense for bad puns knows what's coming and fear it!

* * *

Johnny hopped back into his now gore covered car, his fun ruined by his carnivorous steed exploding for no apparent reason. He pulls out of the parking lot passing by dozens of people sobbing about how their loved ones had been killed by the sharks. "So that was an interesting little adventure you had back there" Meat comments from his passenger side seat. "It was a distraction, nothing more than another thing blocking me from my goals" The maniac ranted as he pulls onto the highway. "Well then by all means continue your quest" Nny looks over at the oddly compliant figment, then his gaze drifts into the car next to his; it was Devi's.

Staring into the vehicle for a few seconds Nny realizes Devi has not seen him. Quickly he puts his eyes back on the road only glancing back to make sure she hadn't seen him. This blatantly stalker-like behavior continues for a few minutes until one of the glances turns into a full head turn, and is met with a look of shock and horror from the partially purple-haired woman.

Johnny slams on the gas reducing the hour and some odd minutes left in the trip to about 6 minutes flat. Slowing slightly as he ran over some random jay-walkers the maniac took a moment to reflect on the past few minutes. "FUCK! FUCK! DOOKY SHIT-FFFFFUCCCK! I CAN"T KEEP DOING SHIT LIKE THAT!" he slams his feet into the floor as he drives through a particularly run-down portion of the city.

Soon he begins to notice that he's being followed, glancing into his side view mirror's he spots two cars pulling up alongside him. When the windows of the front seats were finally aligned the occupants of the left car rolled down their window and stuck out their leg.

The pant leg was rolled up.

"Oh fucking shit, these guys again!" Johnny exclaims as the two cars close in, pinning his vehicle in between them. Johnny at first considered breaking through the windows and stabbing the assailants to death, but the guns they began waving around like idiots deterred him. After a few minutes they turn onto a particularly long street and begin accelerating towards the other end, when they were about halfway down Nny recognized where they were heading.

It was the City Cesspool.

Later the door of the killers shack slammed open and the occupant himself walks in carrying with him an immense cloud of pure stink. It took three days and approximately one hundred showers and tomato juice baths to get his body smelling relatively normal, after which he spent most of his time fuming and ranting.

"Those fucking small-minded pieces of shit! Can't they just learn when to quit!" Johnny stomped around the upper level of his labyrinthine house. "I don't think so" Nail bunny pointed out the painfully obvious as the figment followed Johnny in his pacing circle. "Nny as much as they do present a problem I think it would be better if you continued your search for the Squee-boy" Rev. Meat states from his cardboard box. "What's with the sudden change in reasoning! Just a week ago you were trying to stop me from helping the kid!" He screamed back at the ceramic statue. "Well, times change…hey!" the burger boy protests as the maniac picks him up.

"I am so fucking tired of you" he said as he opens a closet, preparing to shove the figurine into the box on the top shelf. The box however had different plans, like at this moment it decided to test if gravity still worked; it did. Throwing the box off himself Johnny looks at the spilt contents and an abnormally psychotic grin spread across his face.

Jumping up he drags the lump of cloth into his room. A few minutes later he returned wearing a weird costume with a yellowish insignia on its chest. "What are you doing?" Meat asks as Johnny began to stow various knives in the costume and his boots. "I'm going to have my revenge on those assholes that keep attacking me!" Nny states as he empties out the costumes utility belt and begins to fill it with a variety of switchblades and small knives.

"Yeesss, but what's with the costume?" the Reverend continues as Nny slices open the costumes fake musculature and stored even more knives and pointy objects inside. "It's a joke!" the Masked Marauder joyfully remarks as he headed towards the door, "I don't get it" Meat calls after him. "You're not supposed to!" and with that he hops into his car as he begins to hum an odd tune to himself.

The humming soon turns to a crazed giggling when he spots one of the cars from a few days ago. Following carefully behind them he stalks the group for nearly the entire day before they head off towards the industrial portion of town. He saw them park near a seemingly abandoned warehouse, and walk in after using some sort of secret knock on the door. He drives past it a few times before positioning himself about a hundred feet from the flimsy car-sized entrance and slamming on the gas.

Gangsters POV

He walks past the gargantuan pile of white bricks that take up a majority of the warehouse. He walks through the green house and the rows of plants within. It was his turn to patrol the town searching for the ass that seemed intent on killing every last one of them. As he nears the car entrance he hears the sound of a revving engine…which is quickly followed by the sound of tearing metal and shattering glass as a "Nerd Troop" car plows through the door and into the front of the green house.

He turns, pulling out his gun, to find his favorite childhood superhero emerging from the car. Only there was something off about him, the musculature seemed to hang off his thin frame and he was emitting a lot of metallic clanking sounds. The odd figure then pulled out a pair of butterfly knives and launched itself at the nearest gangsters quickly mowing them down like some form of animal themed lawn mower.

He quickly realized that this was the guy he was supposed to be hunting and began to open fire.

Johnny's POV

He had already taken out about 5 members of the gang when the others cleaned out their pants enough to start shooting. Dodging the hail of gun fire (a couple bullets dodged Matrix-style) he charges into the ranks pulling out his various sharp instruments of death. He continues this for about 13 minutes until another group of gangsters show up in a Jeep with a rocket launcher. Dodging the initial projectile Johnny runs to a more cramped portion of the warehouse. Skillfully moving between the large white towers Johnny continually dodged the gunfire and RPG's that were making the enclosed space look like the inside of a snow globe.

**(A/N: **At first I considered having Johnny accidentally get high off this crack, but then some large meaty guy showed up at my door saying that if I did, I would be thrown in jail for submitting someone to cruel and unusual punishment…so no coked up serial killers in this chapter.**)**

Pressing himself against one of the intact stacks Johnny waits until the jeep carrying the rocket launcher was within reach and promptly jumps into it. De-spining the driver and passenger in one swift motion he turns to find the Rocket launcher wielding man stumbling backwards. This motion sent the final rocket into the cloud of fine white powder…which promptly erupted into an immense explosion which sent Johnny hurtling through a window and into a nearby mattress ware house.

* * *

**A/N:** if you happen to be wondering why the crack exploded so violently it was experiencing something called a dust explosion. Dust explosions occur when a fine powdery and flammable substance becomes suspended in air and is then ignited, and I mean any powdery substance, like powdered milk, confectioners sugar, and dried dairy creamer, to name a few.


	28. Flusher Tales VII

**Chapter 28: Flusher Tales**

**A/N:** in this installment Caroline experiences the Manic-depression and attempted suicide over something small

* * *

Caroline sat slumped in her couch; she had just added about a dozen coats to the wall so it wouldn't be bothering her for a while. She always hated this time, when the lock was getting so full she could feel the nastiness even when the seal was at its strongest, she wished she'd just flush already. "Then why don't you just kill yourself now and be done with it?" the black robed figure states bluntly. "Because it's not time yet, I'd just end up being thwarted by something stupid" she responds, glaring into the eyes of the figure on her living room table. "B-b-b-but you don't know that! The System could fail! You could be free of being a flusher! And I could be free of this wretched enslavement!" the figment gestures grandiosely.

"You're the enslaved one! I'm the one who has to deal with humanities spiritual shit! And if you haven't noticed humanity stinks!" Caroline was feeling a little more manic now. "Gwwwaahhhhh!" the headvoice screams and pulls out a miniature scythe before launching itself at her face. She catches it right before impact and promptly throws the irate being at a wall. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! Yooouuuu…." The beings rant and gesticulation fades off as Caroline continues to stare at it. Picking up the now immobile being she rearranges his limbs into a pose halfway through the Macarena dance. "I'll let you move when you decide to behave yourself" she states to the figure as she places it on the entertainment center.

"_FUCK YOU!"_ and with that Caroline stomps to the garage.

She's about halfway down the street when she looks into the back seat and found her other three figments calmly buckled up. "So dear Caroline where are we heading today?" Pustulio inquisitively asks while adjusting his saftey harness. "To MacDowell's, I want a sweet tea" she explains as she recklessly drives around slower moving vehicles. "You shouldn't do that you'll only make yourself fat" the feeble voice remarks from the middle seat, its seatbelt barely staying on. "And I'm currently grotesquely underweight so what's the problem?" the figments only response is silence. Finally the troll-figment rattles off a sound that resembles the Tasmanian devil with some "explodey" and "arson" thrown in.

Despite their protests she leaves the entities in the car, cracking the window slightly before locking them in. She walks into the establishment, greeted with the typical looks she receives for standing out and being obscenely thin. She sights the tea fountain and makes a beeline for it, overjoyed at the thoughts of the sweetness that waited. She's about three feet from her goal when a large fat man in a uniform stepped in front of her. "Ummm, Excuse me but you appear to be in my way" she says as she points past the man. "Sorry ma'am but by Executive Order 74727 all citizens are to cut their daily caloric intake" after the bland explanation the man takes out a pen and clipboard. "If you would please identify what foods you have eaten today and their caloric values I will be happy to review your choice of beverage for consideration"

"Ummmm, wellll I haven't reallllyy, uhh, I think I ate some toast this morning, or was that yesterday?" the murderous woman attempts to pass the man but is prevented from doing so by the man's girth. "Listen, madam, the government health plan specifically limits individuals to 3000 calories a day, you may think lying will help but it won't" then man responds with a stern look.

"3000! I've eaten that much in maybe the last week! If anything I need that fucking tea! So just get the fuck out of my way!" Caroline punches the man's nose, trips him and then heads towards the beverage machine. She had already gotten a cup, filled it with ice, and was about to begin filling it when a series of three shots rang out and the liquid spilled from the drink fountain and onto the floor.

Caroline looks down at the expanding puddle then back at the fat beverage dictator who is now holding a revolver in his pudgy hands. "Madam it is the government's responsibility to keep its citizens healthy even if it means protecting them from themselves" the man continues to point the pistol at her. "Just give up, come back when the machines repaired with a list of what you ate before coming" the cashier chimes in, trying to break the tension.

"Ohhh, it just so easy to give up, to give in" Caroline drops the now useless cup. "you have no idea what it's like to be me, to endure the constant mockery of things claiming to be "human" or "mature", the constant stares, mocking, and whispers just because I look different, even you…" she gestures to the rest of the patrons. "couldn't resist staring at the odd skinny girl who just walked in…then there are the memories…I walk by a hospital, all I can think about are my parents getting blown to bits!" she folds her arms close to her body now.

"Then there's that foster home down the street...reminds me of my brother…the last true family I had left lost because of pure stupidity…." she trails off as she reaches for one of her blades. "AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND DEPRIVE ME OF THE ONE THING I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO! THE LAST THING KEEPING ME ON THIS RUSTING BLADE YOU CALL LIFE!" with that last sentence she slices halfway through the man's arm and catches his gun as it falls from his hand.

Pointing it at the prone fatso she unloaded another three bullets into his fat encased body. "Don't worry you lonely fuck…you won't die alone" she then turned the gun to her temple and pulls the trigger. Nothing happened, she tried a few more times before flipping the revolving portion of the gun out. "Really! A fucking six cylinder revolver! The one time I actually want to die and the universe pulls a fast one!" she tosses the gun through a nearby window before glancing down at her blade in contemplation.

_DING!_

"OoOoOoO! They didn't get rid of the apple pies!" she hops over the counter grabs the small freshly baked goods and a soda from the employee fridge. She then hops back over the counter and throws a ten at the stunned cashier. "Keep the change"

* * *

**A/N:** this whole situation seems vaguely familiar doesn't it? I love apple pie, its so yummy and sweet tea too!


	29. Foster Families: Attempt 1

**Chapter 29: Foster Families: Attempt 1**

**A/N:** Squee gets to live with a potential adoptive family for a week…I don't know whether to be sorry for him, or the unlucky family set up with the Trauma magnet…but that feeling will fade once I decide exactly how this will go horrifically wrong.

* * *

Squee sat contently on Devi's couch watching the morning news, the currently story was about the escape of the serial killer, the cocaine explosion, and various other crimes. 'Well at least he didn't forget about me' the little child thought to himself. "That's not entirely true, I mean it doesn't look like he's actively trying to look for you anymore, besides it's better for you if your with a normal family" Squee was shocked that the bear had gone a full minute without mentioning arson.

The phone rang a few times before it Devi picked it up in another room. Squee couldn't really hear what was being said but after a minute or two Devi came out. "Okay little guy Mrs. Diablo says that a family has been chosen, she says that you should pack a weeks' worth of clothing for the testing period" She said as she sat down next to the boy.

"Okay" was the boy's only response as he hops off the couch and walks to his room to pack. About fifteen minutes later he returns and the pair head out to Devi's car. They get a little lost on the way, but eventually made it to the community rec center, where Mrs. Diablo told them to go. Wading through the crowded interior of the building they manage to locate the table where the family and Mrs. Diablo are waiting for them.

Squee sat down at the table across from the parents while the other two women talked off to the side. After a few minutes Devi left and Mrs. Diablo return to the table. "So Todd, these are the Cortez's and you will be staying with them for the next week, do you have any questions?" the woman asks of the nervous boy. "Ummmm, do you have other kids?" the boy curiously inquired. "Yes we do, we've got a son your age and a daughter in college" the excited woman says. "I think you'll like Fred, he's a very nice boy" the father states absentmindedly. With that the group split, Todd and his foster family heading towards the parking lot, and Mrs. Diablo towards another area of the center.

The new "family" was currently in a van driving towards a particularly high end portion of the city. "So Todd, tell us, what do you usually like to do during the day?" the mother asks as she turned around in her seat. "Well, I'll watch TV or I'll write or something" the boy was nervous (can you tell?). "Do you like any outside activities" the father asked as they turned down a street lined with absurdly large houses. It was clear he meant sports but Squee didn't play, "I'll write or draw outside, I guess swimming's kinda fun."

"Oh, I see, why so nervous about swimming" the man attempts to make light conversation. "Well I went to the beach earlier this week and cause I'm so pale I got burnt even though I poured like a gallon of sunscreen on me" the boy winced as the burn on his shoulders reminded him it was there. "Well I know the perfect home remedy for sun burns if you'd like to try it later" the woman replies as they turn down a long drive way.

As they walk into the large foyer the man's pager begins to beep furiously. "Oh well, sorry Todd I've got to go now" and with that the man left. "And that is one of the reasons we asked what you like to do during the day, my husband and I are rarely here during the light hours and your sort of going to be surprise to Fred" she explained as they walked up a flight of stairs. "It gets better during the night and school year, because I am an online teacher so I will be here more often during those times"

"But won't I be at school during the school year?" the boy asks as they turn down the hall. "Nope, we have tutors for that" she says as they arrive at a door. "That's nice, all the skool-children were mean to me…or zombified" Squee said the last part under his breath. "Well, this will be your room, I have to go now and here, Mrs. Diablo gave me this to give to you" she hands the boy a phone. "That contains a map of the house, in case you get lost, as well as the phone numbers of Mrs. Diablo and Ms. D (trails off as woman heads down the stairs)."

"Great! This'll give you a chance to find out which parts of the house are most flammable, you know, just in case" Shmee chimes in after Squee removes him from the suit case. "Nnooo, I don't think so, they seem kinda nice" Squee answers back before heading into the hall. After a few minutes of looking around he manages to locate the daughters rarely used bedroom, Fred's room, the parent's room, and finally the kitchen. Grabbing a bag of chips he sits on the immense living room sofa and turns on the television. After watching some "Scumby" Squee found that most of the other channels he normally watched had been replaced with creepy monkey-staring-at-you-constantly shows, hence he decided to explore the house some more.

These people were clearly in the "obscenely rich" category as some of the rooms in this house were just ridiculous. There was a bounce house room; a two story room with slides, and in door waterpark, Squee wasn't quite sure how they managed to fit all this inside the house. Eventually he found himself in the back yard staring at a pool that made one of those Olympic pools look like a kiddie pool by comparison.

He didn't want to risk more burns so he instead looked at the large yard every house in this neighborhood seamed to sport. He walks out into the small prairie and wanders around a little while before coming upon a tree house. Never having one before the eager boy climbed up, and found that the thing was a decrepit wreck, but it could still stand his weight. So he walked over to the window and looked into the neighbor's yard. Instead of finding a pretentious rich guy he found the owner of the Delishus Wiener Corp. practically stewing in his pool while a purple-haired preteen sat in a lawn chair fiddling with the head of some robot cat thing.

"Well at least the neighbors aren't crazy" Squee thought out loud as he hopped down from the tree and trekked back towards the house. Once inside he watched television for approximately four or five hours, and at the end of the current show he hears a commotion from the front, but when he gets there he finds nothing. "SQUUEEEE!" the boy unleashes his signature squeal as two people dressed in traditional Aztec garb grab his arms and drag him into the basement. They pass a series of Mesoamerican sculptures set up like they were in an art museum before entering a back room that's molded to look like the top of some of the Aztec pyramids.

"Greetings young Todd!" it was the guy who supposedly left earlier. "That's Fred" he says pointing to a young boy wearing a feathered head dress. "You see my son is the incarnation of the Aztec sun god so we kinda have to give him human sacrifices to keep him from blotting out the sun and ending all life on Earth…so no hard feelings eh?" the crazed man explains as Todd's captors roughly throw him onto the alter.

Todd squirms in fear as the people around him began to chant in Nahuatl and the head priest raises an obsidian dagger above his head. Despite the serious nature of the whole scene one of the men restraining Squee sneezes, loosening his grip just enough for the boy to escape. The dagger comes down a few seconds later and impacts stone instead of flesh, the man falls over the alter and tumbles down the stairs, the blade slicing into his own flesh as he goes. Shocked at this sudden change in routine the other worshiper fail to notice young Squee making a break for it. He first runs up to his room packs his things and just as the others where emerging from the basement, ran out the door and away from the house.

As if channeling The Flash, or a meth addict, possibly even a meth addicted Flash the boy makes it across the city in just under three seconds flat. He begins furiously knocking on the door of the apartment he had called home for the past week. It opens after a few seconds. "Squee? What are you doing here?" his caretaker asks as she attempts to dry her faded half purple hair. "The family tried sacrificing me to an Aztec sun god but then the priest-guy hurt himself!" he rattles off the explanation as he enters the apartment. "Okaayyyy then" Devi slams the door and then reaches for the phone.

* * *

**A/N:** wheeee! Human sacrifices are so wrong! So don't try them at home ! Wasn't this just a horrific experience for the first attempt at finding a foster family!


	30. Foster Families: The Second Attempt

**Chapter 30: Foster Families: A Second Attempt**

**A/N:** what tragic fate shall befall are terrified little protagonist within this chapter? What I ask you! WHAT!

* * *

It had been a week since the debacle with the attempted sacrifice thing. The police had been called but by the time they got there all they found was an empty, extremely echo-y building. All they could do was put a bulletin out on local news channels. This was what the slightly pale child and black-haired woman were currently watching, as they ate the sandwiches they had prepared for dinner.

BEEPBEEPBEEP!

"Damn it! I should've gotten a different phone!" Devi screeched as she picked it up. "Hello?"

-"Hello Ms. D (phone static)! I've got great news!" it was Mrs. Diablo again.

"What is it?"

-"I've found another family for Todd! And this time I've checked to make sure they don't have an unhealthy obsession with Mesoamerican cultures"—

"Oh that's great! What time will they be picking him up tomorrow?"

-"Actually they believe that you should start a new life like you start a new day so they will be picking him up around 9:30 tonight"—

"But I have to go to my part time job at 7; I can't just leave him here!"

-"Where do you work?"—

"The 24/7 down on [Insert street name here]"

-"Well we could just meet there, if that's okay with you"—

"Yeeaaah it's okay"

-"Great! See you later!"—(click)

"All right Squee you'd better pack your things this new families gonna pick you up tonight" she said as she turns towards the boy. "What if they try sacrificing me to a snake god or something!" the boy shivers in terror, something he seemed to be doing a lot lately. "I don't think they will, and besides you escaped the last sacrifice and it's not like the same things going to happen twice in a row" Devi reassures her terrified ward.

_"Are you sure? I mean I'm trying to take your creativity again, so something as mundane as a human sacrificing cult should happen all the time!"_ Sicknesses voice sounded as real as ever. "Whoa! Slow down crazy doll thing if you make Devi here crazy with Squee still around my job'll be tough as shit!" the pyromaniacal teddy bear interrupts. _"Keep talking Shmee! You only make my job that much easier"_ the doll retorts as a worried look crossed Squee's face. "What's wrong?" Devi asks hiding her stress towards the arguing head voices. "I think Shmee's going crazy…he keeps talking to this 'spooky doll' person" the boy responds as he put his dishes into the sink and heads to pack up. Devi just sits there, thankful that the boy couldn't hear her head voice. About forty-five minutes later they made their way to the parking lot and drove to the convenience store.

They arrive at the establishment just as the employee from the previous shift is leaving. "Well who's this little tyke?" the slovenly man asks. "This is Todd, he's staying with me while the city tries to find him a home" Devi explains as she closed her car door. "Oh a Foster child! So what you do to wind up without a home? I betcha just a demented little fuck aren't you?" the man laughs at the saddened look on the boy's face as he hops onto his motorcycle and drives off. _"That man's a complete dick! Next time he pulls shit like that you should just kill him!"_ the doll exclaims, and Devi ignores it and the sounds of a terrible motorcycle crash coming from the street. They both walk into the back of the store, and Devi grabs an extra stool which she places behind the counter before checking the selves. Finding nothing that needed immediate restocking she returns to her work station.

"So, how are you feeling about this time?" Devi asks the clearly nervous boy. "Ummmm, I dunno last time ended pretty badly…I suppose I'm still kinda nervous 'bout it…" the boy trails off, he then picks up the pad of paper he had brought to draw/write on. Devi turns to the cash register as the bell over the door chimed indicating another wretched customer had entered.

The family that entered consisted of two unruly twins and an uninterested older sister being dragged along by an obviously over worked woman. The mother went carefully through the aisles picking items she needed to buy, the girl just leaned against the wall talking about this 'stupid road trip' to her friends on the phone. They boys ran back and forth along the aisles causing the sort of chaos you'd expect on 'The Suite Life of Zach and Cody' if Zach was a crack addict and Cody was some sort of psychopathic mad scientist.

"GET BACK TO THE CAR!" the woman screechs causing the two counter-surfers to jump off of the ailes. The twins quickly ran from the place, followed shortly by the still chatting girl. "Sorry about that, we've been trapped in a car for about eight hours straight" the woman began placing the items on the counter before she noticed Squee. "Oooo whose this adorable little guy?"

"This little guy is Squee, a ward of the state under my care" Devi says, Squee looks up from the pad of paper and waves. "Oohhhhh, that's so sad, would you like it if I bought you something?" the kind woman asked. "No it's okay…" the kid tries to reply but the woman already had a medium sized brainfreezy in hand. "I hope you like cherry it was the only normal flavor" the woman then paid for all the purchases as Squee sips on the drink.

The next two and a half hours consisted of either people mocking the boy, or buying him stuff. At the planned time nothing happened, but two minutes later Mrs. Diablo walked in. "Well hello there, they should arriving shortly" she said as she walks over to the counter. True to her word, a few minutes after that a couple walk in, compared to the previous pair they seem relatively normal. "Hello Mrs. Diablo, this must be Todd!" the woman said as she approaches the counter. "Hello" is all the boy says in response. "So this should be relatively simple, we only really need to pack up Todd's things and then we can get going." Mrs. Diablo babbled as Devi handed the boys suitcase to the man. And with that the new family left, Mrs. Diablo followed soon afterward.

* * *

A/N: HUZZAHH! This is a very empty chapter it is


	31. Flusher Tales VIII

**Chapter 31: Flusher Tales**

**A/N: **This chapter details the return of Erik and the demon weasel to the land of the living stuff will happen, wigs will be worn, assholes will get mauled.

* * *

Erik's neck hurt like hell that was the first sensation to return to him. After a few more minutes he became aware of the rather comfortable bed he was resting in. sitting up he looked around the hospital room he was currently occupying. "Glad to see your awake Mr. Frederickson" a doctor said as he entered the room.

"What happened?" Erik asked as the doctor came over and checked the various tubes attached to him. "Now ones really sure…well your good to go you will just be very weak for the next few days, so have your friend help you recuperate" the doctor left after this brief and vague explanation. A few minutes later Emily came bounding in, "Hey sleepy head what's up?"

"I'm lying in a hospital bed and I have no idea how I got here, how did I get here?" Erik asked as the woman sat next to his bed. "Well, after the typical horrified screams were followed by an unearthly silence I went back into the rabid animals section and found you unconscious on the floor" she explained. "What happened to the class?" Erik asked as he shifted in the bed. "Well half the kids were trapped in the emergency lockers drowning in their own shit and the rest, along with our boss were splattered all over the room…no one's quite sure how that happened…animal control said it looked like a squid, lion, bear, and giant insect all ganged up on the victims…well we'd better get going"

Erik sat slack-jawed at the small rant before registering that Emily was handing him some clothes. Grabbing these he walked into the bathroom, and looked into the mirror which showed a bald Erik staring back. Poking his head out the door, "Hey, do you know why my head is shaved?"

"Oh the Doctors said they had to do it to fix your head cause of your pimple exploding…I bought you some neat wigs" the girl somehow said with a straight face. "Uh huh" and with that he retreated back into the room, replacing the full moon robe with normal clothes Erik looked at the location of the former blemish and found only a small-ish scar. After he was back in his normal clothes he and Emily checked out and headed towards her car, though 'twas only a short jaunt Erik quickly found himself feeling weaker than a noodle armed nerd.

"Well what'd you expect, you've been in a coma for nearly a week" Emily said as she supported her friend while he clumsily unlocked his apartment door. Erik sat on his familiar couch, only to be met with the sight of several "neat" wigs.

A judge's powdered wig

A ridiculously massive powdered wig

Rainbow clown wig

Elvis hair

The last one was a longish one that generally resembled his hairdo before it all got shaved off. "Do you like them?" Emily enthusiastically asked. "Ummmm, well they're unique I'll say that" Erik mumbled some neutral answer while examining the hair pieces. Erik picked up the clown wig and placed it on his shaved skull to humor her, "hehe, that's good, hey I stocked up on some food while you were out, I could make something" she offered pointing to the kitchen. "That would be great" Erik responded in a daze, thinking about how great the next week or so would be.

-9 days later-

Erik and Emily stood outside the pet store on 21 Emerald Location. Erik was incredibly nervous, Emily was her usually happy self, and with that emotional reflection they both walked in. Emily went to the grooming station, Erik drifted towards the back wondering if the new manager had kept the rabid animal collection. His fears were soon confirmed as a young man wearing an in-training employees uniform ran screaming (Bleeding…close enough) out of the enclosed area.

Erik walked in to find a relatively sane looking man sitting in his usual seat massaging his temples from stress. He looked up at the slight noise that Erik had made, "You're the guy that my brother tortured in this place?" noticing the resemblance to his former boss Erik nervously shook his head yes. "Great! No other employee, new or otherwise, has been able to survive this hell hole for more than a day or two!" the man exclaimed while wrapping his arm around Erik's shoulder. "Why did you keep this gimmick if you hate it?" it was the only response Erik could summon.

"Weellllllllll, I really did want to do away with it, but when I was looking over the accounting for this place I realized that most of its revenue comes from Animal Control contracts" He babbled on as they approached the cages. "And so, I am sorry to say that you will be stuck in this horrific abomination of a pet store for the rest of your wretched little life" with this the he fled from the station as if it were a raging inferno.

Erik continued along the wall of cages and eventually found himself near the weasel's cage. Within it scurried about a rather frantic looking mostly bald weasel, it was odd all the fur, save a few tuffs near the ears was gone like it had burnt off. Thinking the critter had just chewed itself bald Erik made sure that the other animals were feed and then retreated to his normal position. The nightmare would soon start up again as if it had never even stopped.

It began in the form of an unusually chubby hi-skooler walking in followed closely by the more typical pimple faced variety. "Hey, I hear you got some pretty badass critters stowed up back here" the kid attempted to talk with an expanded vocabulary through the sucker lodged in his mouth. "You could say that, just look DO. NOT. TOUCH" Erik emphasized the last words and used small ones so that his point could be easily under stood.

"Whateves" the fat dude nonchalantly responded as he and the group retreated to the back. They spent most of their time going from cage to cage. A few minutes in the "cell breached" light on Erik's desk activated for the weasel's confinement, before he could react the familiar screams of agony and animalistic screeches filled the store.

* * *

**P.S.A**.—Due to a power failure in the pet shop all of the rabid animals have escaped, you should, however, not worry as you're only really in trouble if you happen across one of these viscous creatures, or if one of them a happens to be RIGHT BEHIND YOU! OH SHIT WATCH OUT!


	32. A Stymied Search

**Chapter 10 (32): A Stymied Search**

**A/N:** Johnny finally gets around to searching for little squeegee.

* * *

Johnny walked the streets of the city for what seemed like ages. Since his car had gone up in an immense coke-splosion he had no choice but to navigate the city on foot. Soon after exiting the suburbs he located what he was looking for; a phone booth. Hoping that the phone book had not been damaged or stolen he rushed up and thankfully found a perfectly intact yellow pages.

He began furiously flipping through the residential section of the volume and quickly found the D's. "Finally getting around to looking for the boy?" Meat questions from the top of the phone. "Uh huh" the maniac absentmindedly replies as he paused at a specific name. "What is it?" the ceramic figure seemed to stretch his neck to see, it was Devi's name with the part after the "D" in her last name smudged out.

"Hey, after you do this maybe you should find her" the Reverend suggested. "Yeah, maybe you could get Squee to deliver a letter or something like that…on second thought sending a pale, malnourished kid is probably not the best idea, but you should do something" Nail bunny mused as he floated over the killers shoulder. "Ah! There they are!" Johnny exclaimed as he found the address. Slamming the book closed he walked off in what he knew was the general direction of the address. "So have you given any thought as to how you're going to convince this social worker to give you the address?" Nail Bunny inquired as he continued his habit of floating. "Hmmm, well I definitely can't use the cousin excuse anymore; I suppose I should just go with the truth"

"You mean that you're the crazed neighbor that killed a pedophile right in front of the poor boy?" Meat quipped as he trudged alongside the duo, his ceramic footsteps echoing on the empty street. "Hey, I don't ever remember hearing your foot steps before" Johnny recoiled at the memories of the doughboy's incident. "Johnny there's a talking dismembered rabbits head floating over your right shoulder giving you advice" was the figurines response, and with that the maniac continued his trek.

As the three rounded the corner they came in sight of a house with obscene amounts of smoke pouring forth from the chimney. "Something tells me we're here" Nny mumbled as he walked up to the door and began repeatedly jabbing the doorbell. "Nny, I don't think any one's home" Nail Bunny spoke up after about five minutes of nothing happening. "Well fuck this then" the irate man walked off the stoop and along the wall of the house looking for an open window. Not finding one he skillfully gripped the siding and crawled up the house, finding one of the upper level windows was unlocked, he climbed in and began to walk through the hallway he found himself in.

He soon found himself descending from the empty upper floor to the lower one. As he trudged down the stairs he became aware of lights and sounds' coming from what he expected was the living room. However when he got there all he found was an on television and a couch covered in junk food. Dissatisfied with the lack of useful info the killer turned back to the door only to find his path blocked by an unusually large wolf-like dog.

"Oh hello there, I didn't hear you, so what's your name you terrifyingly large hell hound?" as he attempts to pet the large beast it growled menacingly. "That is Woofles" Johnny looks past the beast to find himself looking at a black hair 10 year old with horns curving slightly backwards off his head. "Why are you in my house?" the child demanded to know.

"Well if you really must know, I am here to speak with a Mrs. Diablo she's sort of, ummmm, social worker-ing for my neighbor whom I was going to bust-I mean remove from that crazy house" Johnny explained while glancing at the menacing dog. "I don't think my mom would place a kid with someone whose fine with breaking into a house" the child looked at him with a doubtful look. "Oh yeaaahhhhh, um, well if you could maybe just tell her I stopped by…leaving out the whole B & E part" Johnny suggested.

"NO! I will not! Now get out of my house!" at the last words the kid pointed at Johnny, his finger crackling with energy. "Well someone's been eating too many pop rocks" Johnny jested as he back up towards the front door and fumbled with the lock. As soon as he had the door open he heard the kid say "get him woofles" and at that the demon hound lunged at the startled waste-lock.

He ran as fast as he could the slobbering hell hound trailing close behind. After about five blocks the dog stopped and ran back in the direction from which it came, leaving Johnny to attempt to catch his breath. As he walked down the street he lamented over this latest failure he barely noticed the partially burned man jump out of the shadows until he yelling started.

"Hey you fuckin' piece o'shit!" the man screeched as he pulled out a rather large gun. "Who the fuck are you?" Johnny shouted back as he reached for his two largest blades. "I'm the guy who lost 2 billion fucking dollars when you blew my fucking coke shipment to shit" the man continues to scream as he added a combat knife to his arsenal.

"oh" Johnny mumbles as he first lunged towards the dude but dodged the hail of bullets that were sent his way. Standing behind a buildings corner Johnny waited until the man's footsteps came close enough, then jumped out and kicked the gun out of his hands and into the street. Startled the man attempted to stab the serial killer but found his blow blocked by a larger knife while another similar blade began hacking through his gun arm.

Stumbling backwards in pure agony the man barely noticed the feeling of his stomach getting stabbed. He did take note of the fact that his knife, though still gripped in his hand, was now on the ground with his fore arm. That was the last sight he saw as the blade arm was then neatly shoved into the stomach cut and into his chest cavity where the blade severed several important tubes.

Johnny stood over the bloodied body and decided that right now was the perfect time for a brain freezy.

Arriving at his favorite store the killer entered to find a group crowding the cashiers counter. As he walked by them towards his goal he noticed that all members had the same tattoo as the group the pant-leggers had fought when he first arrived. This memory quickly faded as he began to fill up the jumbo sized cup he usually got. As soon as it was filled he turned back to find that the group still obstructed his path to the place of payment.

"Excuse me" he said to the rowdy group, one of them turned and saw is purchase in hand. Clearly the most rational of the group this man commanded in Spanish for the others to move. Delighted at the rather pleasant turn of events Nny strode through the cleared path, fumbling for his wallet, as soon as he got to the counter the oddly familiar sensation of a 40,000 volt Taser filled him and he collapsed to the floor.

Maintaining consciousness this time around Johnny registered the employee door opening and slamming as the gangsters just stood around not quite sure what happened. Regaining voluntary use of his limbs after a few moments the stunned killer stood up to find the gangsters laughing at him. "What the fuck is so fucking hilarious!" the now irate killer demanded.

"You man, yo got taken out by a skinny bitch!" one said whilst gripping his sides.

"Yo come in here all badass and all, then yo go in get shot down for no reason by some hot black-haired chick" another stated.

The leader and his second in command continued laughing as they began to push the twig-like man back and forth. The leader soon realized his mistake when he found his head being repeatedly smashed into the "Frosty Peanut" container. About half the assailants fled, the remaining were either mauled or knocked out until only the second in command was left. Not exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, the man lunged only to be knocked down and then have the "Ham" flavor nozzle shoved into his eye socket.

Johnny picked up one of the unconscious victims as he watched the man struggle to get out of his current predicament. He briefly considered letting these ones go as he had no way of transporting them, however at this moment he noticed some keys on the floor. Picking them up he pressed the "lock" button and was greeted with a truck in the parking lot flashing its lights.

Though not exactly a gangster type vehicle johnny was satisfied with bed space; he could fit at least six bodies in it. Picking up another gangster by the feet Johnny dragged his current to catches out the door and heard a satisfying pop as the final gangsters head exploded spraying ham slushie and vital brain chunks all over the establishment.

Of course he briefly returned to buy another Freezy and pay for both of them.


	33. System Collusion

**Chapter 33: System Collusion**

* * *

Devi sat on her couch, frustrated; she had finally gotten work but was unable to produce anything. Well that wasn't entirely true, she had been able to draw something, buy only after she looked at some of the "Pre-art" suggestions that had been sent with it. She normally didn't use that she would just read the book and go off of that. _"Well that's what I meant when I said I'd only take half your creativity"_ Sicknesses voice echoed from the studio. _"You'll be able to use other people's ideas as a spring board, but as for generating your own ideas…well good luck with that"_ Devi hated that doll, she really did.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Devi groans at the familiar knock pattern of her only friend and thus got off the couch in order to let her in. "Hey Devi!" the young woman announced as she entered the apartment and sat upon the couch. "hey Tenna what's up?" Devi answers back as she placed herself in the large recliner next to the couch. "Well I've got this family reunion coming up and I need you to look after Spooky" the woman hands the trauma sponge to Devi as she says this.

"Ummmmmm why?" Devi asked, as she grabbed hold of the little toy. "Ohhhhhh, nuthin' just some of my family really don't like when I squeak him, so would it be okay if I leave him here?" Staring at the toy Devi responds, "Yeah sure, I'll look after him" satisfied that the toy would be safe whilst she was gone Tenna left.

"So Tenna's really annoyed people with your squeaking even when she was young?" Devi asks the toy she placed on the coffee table. "Oh yes she did, there are even times when it irritates me" the voice sounding stronger this time. "Like when she should be filling out an order at the Caffeine Hut?" Devi asks as she sits back on the couch. "Yeah, times like that, or when her school was preparing a Time Capsule and she Squeaks me one to many times around the students in charge, the principal stopped them and said it would be cruel and unusual to send me to the future where someone else could start squeaking me"

"heheh that's pretty funny" Devi boorishly states as she turns off the television. "Well I have to go now, don't throw a party while I'm out" Devi jokingly says as she heads out the door. After a few minutes an energetic hum fills the room and begins to shrink towards Mr. Spooky. When it finally reaches him the small squeak toy becomes much more animated and jumpes off of the table.

The little toy treks down the hallway to the art room, when he got there he somehow used a super jumping ability to launch himself up towards the door knob. Leveraging himself against the door frame he somehow opened the door unleashing a small squeak as he fell to the floor. After regaining his bearings the small toy began trudging towards the safe which held Sickness.

As soon as he reached it he jumped up to the combination knob, "Hey creepy doll you wouldn't happen to know the combination would you?" He heard a slight shuffling inside before a sarcastic answer came, "Oh nooooo you're just going to have to find it out for yourself…of course in know the goddamned combination!" Spooky Makes a motion that resembled frustratedly placing his hands on his hips, "Well then Mrs. Sassypants, what is it?"

"3-29-49" and with that the little guy began to walk along the knob as if it were a giant circular tread mill.

Devi's POV

Devi enters the Employee's parking lot and sighed before beginning the short trek towards her wretched place of part time employment. As soon as she enters her boss hobbles up to her, still injured from the attack which had put his head through the window. "Hey you're late! You lazy bitch!" her employer angrily remarks. "No I'm not you changed my shift remember?" she remarks back to the injured male.

"I pretty sure I did not!" he shouts back before contemplating if he had, his memory had been shot to hell by the head trauma he had received. "Yeessss you did, and didn't your doctor tell you to stay in or something?" Devi continues towards the counter. "NO FUCKING QUACK IS GONNA TELL ME WHAT TO DO! AND NO LAZY ASS BITCH IS GONNA TELL ME WHAT I TOLD HER!" the man screamed from the employees only door before falling over and beginning to foam at the mouth. A few moments later a nurse emerged from the back room and drags him out of the store.

And thus began the usual flow of irritating and generally bothersome customers. It started off with the drabble that had been coming in all summer; vacationing kids, too lazy to do any chores or shit like that, and gradually faded into douche bags and drunken idiots. Eventually even these assholes stumbled out of the store and left an empty monotony that Devi normally found perfect for drawing.

Except this time she couldn't think, she tried to come up with something but could only generate ideas based on the book series she was currently working on. After about an hour or two of this torture Devi frustratingly shoved the drawing pad under the counter and absently stared at the innumerable racks of merchandise in front of her.

_DING!_

The sound of the door opening brought Devi out of her boredom induced trance. She watched nervously as a gaggle of gang members shuffled into the store and began searching the shelves. "Hey pretty lady you wanna come with us we got a major party going on" one of the tank-topped dudes leaned on the counter. "No thanks" Devi responded as she totaled up the man's purchases. "Aw man why not? I mean we practically own the town now that those goddamned Pantalones went up in flames!"

The guy's outburst had triggered some sort of swarm response in the rest of the people who were now crowding around the counter. "Hey girly there's great club downtown why don't we go together?" one of the newer guys claimed. "Hey we'll all show yo a great time if you come wit us!" someone shouted from the back. Devi nervously reached for the Taser she had started carrying since seeing Johnny drive beside her.

DING!

With the ringing of the bell the gang seemed to become more insistent and began to practically lurch over the counter. This was, of course making her incredibly nervous and what happened next just plain didn't help. "Excuse me" she heard the newer customer ask the leader in the back and was thankful as the crowd began to part ways.

Revealing and blood soaked Johnny reaching into his pocket for his wallet. Whipping out her trusted stun gun she aimed at the murderous man and pulled the trigger sending him to the ground in uncontrollable spasms. She then dashed out the back of the store leaped into her car and sped away as the sound of death cries emanated from the establishment.


	34. Flusher Tales IX

**Chapter 34: Flusher Tales**

* * *

A now obscenely underweight and pale Caroline strolls into her front door casually dropping her keys onto a table. Surveying the living room she carefully sits on the couch to avoid getting any blood on the piece of furniture. "Hello Caroline how has your day been?" Pustulio asks from the coffee table. "Horrific, nothing but an endless parade of nasty little apes fretting over petty little details" the female serial killer fumes. "And the few nice people I meet rarely last or turn out to be some sort of creepy asshole in disguise!" she slams her fists into the cushions as she continues her tirade.

"Well excellent now that your life is in the pits maybe you should kill yourself" Mort comments from the top of the television. "It's not ready yet! At least I don't think it is, it gets so very hard to tell sometimes" she sits up on the couch and looks at her feet. "I for one think it could last a few more days…" Pustulio says while sipping some tea from a miniature tea cup.

"What are you talking about you over grown plague carrier! Her life sucks worse than a black hole! She should just off herself and be done with it!" Mort continues his tirade of death from the television. "Pustulio's right! I don't feel the overwhelming despair I usually feel before a flush, but I do feel shitty, I probably do have a few more days" she enthusiastically leaps from the couch and heads towards the torture cellar.

KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!KNOCK!

"A visitor! What a bizarre coincidence, I hope it's one of those bothersome door-to-door salesmen!" she begins to reach for the knob only to be thrown back as a S.W.A.T. team enters her abode. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL? YOU CAN'T JUST RANDOMLY BARGE INTO A PERSONS HOME! FOOK!" Caroline shouts at the men while one attempts to shoot her. Rolling quickly to the side Caroline reaches into her boot and pulls a gore covered knife from it.

Leaping towards the first guy to shoot she angled the knife under his bullet proof vest and gouges open his abdominal cavity. Angling herself behind the injured but somehow still standing man she reaches in and pulls a few shredded organs from the gash tossing them over the remaining assailants. Recoiling in horror as they were coated in their team mates organs the others fail to notice a second of their own being hacked to pieces by the insane woman.

Thankfully for them enforcements arrive at that moment driving Caroline back into the living room. A group of three is the first to charge in after her but Caroline quickly beginsn mowing them down, coating the room in blood. A particularly large dude managed to survive the foot long dagger plunged into his chest long enough to stumble back into the hallway leaving Caroline weaponless.

Except for her figments, which the leader of the next group found out as Pustulio impacted his face and began clawing it off. The other two were so horrified at the giant flee devouring their leaders face that they failed to notice Caroline until she snapped one of the guys necks. Panicking the last guy ran back into the hallway where he tripped over Ares and landed face first on the stick figure figment killing him instantly.

Ares promptly began shooting up the remaining attackers blasting their flesh with micro-bullets and miniature RPG's all while babbling like the Tasmanian devil on crack. This torment continued until the little demon ran out of bullets and was immediately drop-kicked down the hall way. Pustulio had just finished munching his second face when he had a Taser shoved into his back; the stick figurine was not much help as it was currently lodged deep in some guy's frontal lobes.

Some more enforcements arrived at this moment, most of the newer members vomiting at the sight of all the gore. The more experienced persons began directing the others to take out positions around the entrance to the living room.

Leaders POV

After setting up the support groups at the door he took up his forward position and began shouting to the mark. "Listen up! If you come peacefully we can get you some nice solitary padded cell you won't have to deal with a stupid trial or the pain of death!" after a moment of contemplation the killer responded.

"FUCK YOU! Morty! Attack!" the leader initially shuddered at the thought of another demon toy, but this one's response gave him an opening. "No Fucking way am I going to help you survive this!" and with that he leaped into the open pathway and took aim at the woman's shoulder.

BLAM!

The woman turned to the left partially to look at the death figure in surprise/anger and partially to reach to the hole in her shoulder. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction he took aim for her head then fired. Watching as she fell seemingly in slow motion her head impacting the table before coming to rest on the ground, one arm arched over her, hand twitching uncontrollably.

As the twitching died down he approached with caution, mentally patting himself on the back as he took note of the expanding blood puddle and the gunshot entry nestled neatly in her temple. Placing his fingers on the headset in his ear he contacted home base. "Attention base, target is neutralized, repeat, target has been neutralized" he heard cheers over the connection as some of the younger assault squad member's high-five-ing each other and left the house, only the elder members staying to secure the crime scene.

He nearly shat himself when the talking started.

"Hehehe, it's always so f-funny how you p-people think you've won" he turns towards the feeble voice and finds the mortally wounded woman shifting slightly. "We have won you've got a hole in your head" one of his subordinates retorts, pointing to his temple for emphasis. "Pfft, I've done worse to myself, then there was that guy with the shot gun, don't even know where he got that…he was trapped down there for months, besides *bloody cough* I can't die…too important"

"That's not entirely true, you could still be let go by The System" Morty angrily points out from the wall he had been pinned to with a pen. "ShhhShut up Mort ya…traitorous basterd…you know as well as I do *Bloody Gurgle* that they've only made themselves die faster…" the weakened woman trailed off as more blood poured forth from the head wound. "HA! That's a joke! We're the only ones leaving this house of horrors alive" one of the relatively young men responded as he bounded towards the door.

He then unleashed a Wilhelm scream as he fell into and endless abyss of nothingness. As if echoing the man's terror an inhuman scream filtered up from the basement followed quickly by much more normal human screams of terror. "Here it comes…kcch…the wall thingy…always last long enough to miss seeing it…it wants to thank you for freeing it and…hey wait a tick you look kinda familiar" the leader looked down as Caroline attempts to use one of her hands to point towards him.

"Yeah I see it now…ack! *gurgle*…your fucking crazed partner blew my parents to bits *cough*" the leader was consumed by guilt as he remembered being told about what Kevin had done. "My partner was not right in the head…he thought he was chasing a serial killer!" he paused as the screams and screeching from the basement intensified. "Y-yeaaahhhhhhh…f-funnny thing a-ahbout that…he wasn't that far off *bloody cough* in fact he was dead on" the woman remarked through the haze of exsanguination and major head trauma.

BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!BLAM!

He angrily unloaded his clip into the prone form before him, he was about to place another clip in when his two newer partners attempted to drag him away from the now deceased body. Their escape attempt was cut short as an eldritch abomination of epic proportions tore through the basement door. It hovered at the entrance a few moments before flinging itself towards the hapless F.B.I. agents and grabbed them with its tentacles before tearing through the front of the house, completely ignoring the already open door as it simultaneously plunged into the abyss and tore its three captives to strips.

HERE COME SOMEMORE SHITTY MORPHING EFFECTS!


	35. Foster Families: A Second Failure

**Book 4**

**Cover: Squee inside a giant safe-like room, Devi's shadow is being cast over him, on the wall behind him are some TV monitors, in one of these we can see Nny.**

* * *

**Chapter 35: Foster Families: A Second Failure**

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Squee sat at the kitchen table calmly eating a bowl of cereal that had been poured by the foster mom. As he silently munched on the cereal that could stay crunchy even in acid he began to think about the current situation. These people had been right about waking up in a new environment, he felt great, and in general had a fairly positive view about all this. This general feeling was enhanced by the fact that the couple did not have any children of their own to sacrifice him to.

"So Todd how do you like today so far?" The woman asked as she sat down with a bowl of her own. "Good, nothing bad has happened" the boy remarked as he finished the last of his cereal. "Well that's good to hear, say how do you feel about going to a water park?" the woman inquired as she continued to eat her cereal. "Ummmm, well the last time I tried going outside I got horribly burnt" after placing the bowl in the sink he glanced down at his exposed arms. "I'm not as pale now though, so I suppose that would be fun"

"OH that's just fantastic! My sister and her kids will be there so you'll have someone to play with" the woman finished her bowl of cereal. "You should go get ready and we can leave in about an hour" she stated as they walked to the bathroom to brush their teeth. After getting on the bathing suit he had gotten with Devi he walked out to the living room and sat on the couch listening to the news about some warehouse exploding for no apparent reason.

An hour later they left the house, the man going to work while squee and the woman, who was a school teacher headed off to the water park. For Squee, whose real parents only took him places to try and leave him there this was a welcome change. They arrived and immediately met up with a small family that consisted of the typical parental units and two children, both boys slightly older that Squee.

The day was fairly typical of what you'd expect at a water park. They ran around, visiting various rides, the lazy river, the wave pool, I love wave pools, the roller coaster like water slides. The day started to slow around lunch as the extended family gathered around the normal boring pool and began devouring their ridiculously beach-themed lunches. About half an hour after they began eating lunch the two boys finished and immediately ran into the water.

"You have to wait thirty more minutes or you'll get a cramp!" both older women called after them to no avail. Squee, however, waited before grabbing an inner tube and dragging it into one of the emptier sections of pool where he rested on top of it, checking every so often to make sure he wasn't burning.

He wasn't and that made this day even more pleasant. And then the sounds started, they began with a muffled mechanical failure type sound followed by a muffled "oh fuck" somehow coming out of the pool bottom. Then the sloshing sounds started, immediately followed by screams of excitement/terror that drew Squee's attention to the deep end. He was able to see people swirling around in a circle as the screams shifted more towards terror.

He himself soon found a current pulling him into the maelstrom which was now beginning to devour swimmers. He circled the whirlpool a few times looking on in terror before turning around and jumping towards the edge of the pool which he thankfully caught. As the whole scene dissolved into chaos he walked back to where the family was in a mix of calm and pure terror.

Thankfully the boys had been detained for not listening to the adults and thus survived the disaster. With that Squee and his foster mother dried off and returned to the house where they sat awkwardly for a few hours. Then at about 5:30 the guy returned, and they ate a nice dinner which was followed by some family movie night movie.

The film was completely different from the ones Johnny had taken him to see when he felt bad for the kid. Instead of a tale about a bunch of people being killed off by a parasitic silicon-based monstrosity or a nightmare, this film was about a bunch of tiny aliens riding around a giant space ship that resembled their captain. The end of the film was happy but ambiguous and afterwards the boy said good night to his new family and went up to his room.

He did not, however, go to bed; instead he took Shmee out of his suit case, climbed out the window and onto the roof of the building. He lay down on the roofing and stared up into the sky thinking about the story he wrote where a kid goes to a planet without air and his head explodes. He was thinking about writing one where some other kid goes to a planet that doesn't immediately kill him when he heard a painfully familiar sound.

FLASH!BZEEP!

"Oh no not another visit from future me!" the boy lamented as he shut his eyes hoping it would go away. "Nope! Guess again younger Squeegee" an unfamiliar female voice proclaimed. Jumping up he looked around to find a black woman standing on the other side of the roof. "Tenna?" the boy stated in shock as the moon light revealed a familiar face. "What? oh no, you see I didn't have time to program an original appearance into the hologram projector thingy" the obviously younger than she looked girl walked over to Squee's side of the roof and sat down behind him. "So then…who are you? And why didn't future me use one of those projector thingies" the boy asked as he uncomfortably scooted away from her.

"My name is Danielle, you may call me Danni, I am a very good friend that you haven't met yet, and his broke shortly before he left and Membrane gave him that idiotic costume as a replacement" the girl said this and then continued. "Well now that introductions are done I can get around to telling you the horrible things about to happen to you!" she remarked as she shifted in her spot. "B-but I thought being thrown in the Defective Head Meat Institute was the horrible thing!" the boy was exasperated at the thought of more horrific stuff happening in his life.

"Ah, yes well you see the time machines sort of glitchy, when future you was talking to you he thought that was now" she stretched her legs out in front of her as she said this. "It's not as bad as it used to be, my twin sister ended up on this grassy knoll seventy-something years ago" she says, just then the hologram begins to flicker. "Oh fuck this piece of shit! I knew I should have stolen Tak's!" she screeched as she fiddled with the projector. In the dim moonlight Squee was able to see the image shift, first to some skinny red-haired guy in a trench coat, then an alien, a younger Squee, before returning to the original setting.

"How come you have multiple holograms on that thing?" the small boy pointed out trying to stall her until the spinal liquefaction would send her back. "Huh? Oh yeah…you see in the future people use these things to impersonate people or to act out their favorite stories" the young woman pointed to the sparking projector on her wrist. "I don't really like to use it for that second reason…well now that all the tangents are out of the way I can tell you what I came to tell you" the woman was looking enthusiastic for a few moments before she sort of melted.

"I…can't remember…crap, I knew I should've written it down!" the girl rested her forehead on her knees for a few moments before jumping up. "Oh wait I can…hey where'd you go squeegee?" she looked around the now empty roof. Squee meanwhile, was crawling back into bed when something came flying through his window causing him to squee. "Oooooo yay! I got to hear younger you squee! Anyway I just thought you might want to know some of the minor details I managed to remember" Squee reluctantly nodded yes to this.

The girl looked like she was about to start but at the last moment she became distracted, yet again. "Oooooo look its Shmee! How have you been you little pyro-bear you" she picked up the damaged teddy bear. "Go to Hell you fucking harbinger of doom!" the demented trauma sponge responded. "Oh hey now! I'm only trying to help a good friend!" the girl loudly proclaimed.

At that moment his foster father, having heard the noise barged into the room. "Who the fuck are you?" he shouted at the girl. "Charles! Watch your language!" the woman exclaimed from behind the man. "Relax I'm just a friend of little Squee here" the future person remarks as she points to Squee. "What the fucks a squee! I bet it's what you call the children you plan on sacrificing to Satan! you pig!" the guy was now getting uncomfortably close to the woman, whom Squee now noticed was rather gothic in appearance, and her clothing was very dark.

"Actually Senior Diablo isn't that fond of child sacrifices, it's mainly the elder gods that are into that sort of thing" the woman mused. "THAT'S IT!" the man shouted as he grabbed the girl's shoulders. He pushed back on the girl who in her fall smashed her wrist against a nearby dresser. The hologram flickered then died, revealing an incredibly skinny girl a few years older than Squee. She wore a black shirt that read "WHO?", pants that faded from black to dark purple as they went from her waist to her knees, and black and purple steel toed boots, her head was a mess of bluish-purple hair and her eye's were green.

"Oh well isn't that just fucking great!" the skinny girl leapt back up and skillfully maneuvered around the mans second grab attempt. This action revealed a purple metallic backpack with three silver compartments firmly a fixed to her back. "Hey get back here you freak!" the guy screamed as he lunged for her yet again. "No fucking way you asshole!" the girl screeched back as she dodged the man's newest attempt. She did not see that he had stuck his leg out causing her to trip and allowing him to leap on top of her and get a grip on the irate teenager.

_ZZZZZZZZZZZZT!_

And with that the attempted messenger disappeared in a flash of light, taking the irate man with her, leaving a shocked Squee to attempt to cover his ears as the woman screamed bloody murder.

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**A/N: **Isn't Squee just the unluckiest miniature human in existence!


	36. Return of the Moose

**Chapter 36: Return of the Moose**

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Johnny directed his newly acquired truck into his garage with relative ease. Turning off the internal combustion engine, he jumped out of the door and ran around to the back and began pulling the restrained gangsters from the bed of the truck. It took him a few minutes to drag the surviving gangsters into his labyrinthine torture cellar, but once he had them there he quickly began to set them in restraints.

He set about wandering through the hundred room basement, attempting to decide which of the numerous torture devices he would use, when he came across the wall room. He had not painted the wall in a week or two so it was already beginning to dry out, and move. Johnny chuckled as he walked up to the wall and reached out. The vibration emanating from the blood soaked plaster spread throughout his body filling him with dread.

"I bet you want to be fed don't you?" the maniac whispered to the festering lock. "Well forget about it! I am a slave to know one! Especially not some freakish pulsating monster trapped by nothing but plaster!" the killer began screaming at the wall, which seemed to vibrate more intensely with each word. "OH YOU'RE ANGRY ARE YOU! WELL GUESS WHAT! I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!" at the end of this one sided shouting match Johnny pulled out a dagger and hurled it at the wall.

Upon impact the wicked blade stuck nicely in the plaster but the slowly intensifying vibrations began shaking it loose. When it finally did come free it to a good portion of the drywall around it with it. From that hole poured forth a few tentacles and a disturbing potato shaped cranium with a viscous maw and four eyes. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" the maniac screamed as he backed away from the nastiness leaking out from the damage.

In a panic the killer ran through the nearby rooms looking for victims. However the few he did find had died a few weeks ago after he stopped coming down, they were too rotted to provide any blood. Thinking quickly he ran up numerous flights of stairs found the two gangsters and dragged them back down to the wall room. Nearly decapitating each one he slit their necks and let the blood spray all over the wall, making sure to aim for the breach. After a few moments of being drenched in blood, the few mismatched appendages reaching forth withered and retreated back into the plaster from whence they came.

The panicked killer took a few minutes to catch his breath while he considered what to do. "The solutions obvious!" Meat declared, "The only way took keep the thing back is to begin painting the wall again!" he preached from an empty barrel of blood. "I don't fucking want to! I don't want to be a slave to anything! Especially not a wall drenched in the blood of assholes!"

"As I've stated time and time again, you're always going to be a slave to something!" The ceramic reverend continued as Nny lunged at him. "Fuck you! You ceramic demon! I…" Nny was cut short as the areas of the wall not covered by arterial spray began to pulsate once again. "Dear fucking lawn-gnome-y lord! Why me!" the maniac shouted as he ran up the stairs grabbing his favorite blades before entering the normal portion of his house and leaping into his stolen vehicle then speeding off towards the city.

As he sped through the abandoned streets he quickly began to go over the list of places he normally found victims in. Restaurants were open but empty; with the streets as desolate as a ghost town there was no way he'd be finding someone there. As he drove through down town he noticed a few parking lots that were still filled with cars pulling in to one of the more open ones he parked and began walking towards the entrance to what he suspected was a club.

The first door opened to reveal a stereotypical oversized bouncer happily passed out behind the obligatory velvet rope. As he quickly slipping through the entrance way he discovered that the fancy-ness out front was nothing but a ruse for the typical smoke filled, gritty, rave/dance club. Wandering around the periphery of the main dance floor he found the bar. Commandeering an empty stool he stood up and attempted to start his announcement.

"Attention doped up dancey people!" the music seemed to intensify to mask his words. Cupping his hands around his mouth he tried again, "Attention!" again receiving no reaction he hopped off the stool and began to make his way towards the DJ. When he was about halfway there he felt himself getting dragged into the crowd whirling around he found an oddly dressed, clearly high dancer attempting to drag him towards a knot of people doing that "Rub up uncomfortably close to each other" dance.

Wrenching himself from her grip he dashed through the remaining crowd, rudely pushing people out of his way. As soon as he got to the stage he pulled out a blade and began hacking into the DJ's sound station. A majority of the dancers stopped and looked towards the reason the party had stopped, and thus began Johnny's rant.

"Excellent! Now that I have almost every ones undivided attention I would like to take this opportunity to thank you" he shrugged the knife filled backpack off and continued. "I am thanking you not for anything you've done; most of you just made my night miserable; but to thank you for the donation you are about to make" and he pulled another blade from the pack, the more sober party goers began backing up towards the door. "And now if you'll just remain calm this will go by very smoothly" and with that he leaped into the remaining crowd and began shouting.

"YOU BLEW SMOKE IN MY FACE!"—lungs pulled out

"YOU PELTED ME WITH FOOD SCRAPS!"—Arms hacked off, right one shoved down throat.

"YOU CALLED ME A FAGGOT FOR NOT DANCING!" legs hacked off.

"YOU'RE TRYING TO BRING BACK BELLBOTTOMS!" bludgeoned with previous guy's left leg.

"PULL UP YOUR FUCKING PANTS!"—lit on fire.

"YOU ATTEMPTED TO FORCE ME TO ENDURE PHYSICAL CONTACT!"—skinned.

And so on and so forth

Running past the blubbering mass of mental trauma that was now plugging the exit he dashed out into the parking lot and jumped into his truck. Pulling it back up to the entrance he walked back in selected the worst people from the pile, knocked them out, then stuffed them in the trucks bed. Grabbing the belt of grenade's from the passenger seat he walked back in for the last time pulled each of the pins out tossed the belt in and the ran back to his truck speeding off a few moments before an explosion rocked the building.


	37. Flusher Tales X

**Chapter 37: Flusher Tales**

**C.t.H.M.**

**A/N:** this chapter is about Caroline's trip through heaven and hell, there will be head explodey…count on it!

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Caroline sat up on the familiar shit encrusted clouds at the entrance to heaven. Examining her pained shoulder and picking at the neat bullet hole in her temple she jumped up and strolled up to the front desk where she found nothing but an empty seat. "Hello? Peter?" she glanced around and found an "out to lunch" sign nestled on the desk. A mischievous grin spread across her face as she batted the sign away and hopped up onto the chair.

"I'm going to be in so much trouble" she giggled to herself as she looked at the book lying on the desk. She began to reach for the massive volume but was stopped at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Fearing the worst she looked up and found one of the agents that had taken her out. "What the FUCK are you doing HERE!" he screamed as he reached for where his gun would normally be stored, it wasn't there. "She is going to get out of my chair" both turned to acknowledge the angel, Caroline then obeyed and leaped over the desk next to the still shocked man. "If you really must know I am only visiting" she remarked as she began to concentrate on the guy's head.

"Yeah say hello to Kevin in Hell for me!" the man jeered back at the woman who was staring intensely at his skull. "Actually as long as she doesn't try anything in the next few minutes she'll be sent back without any hassle" the angel mumbled something doubtful under his breath. "WHAT! you can't send HER back! She a monster! A mass murderer! That and she got a hole blown in her fucking HEAD!"

BLAM!

And with that the man's brains splattered all over Peter's face.

ZZZTT!

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL WAS THAT!" the man said as some chunks of scalp flew back into place. "THAT WAS HEAD-EXPLODEY! ISN'T IT JUST AWESOME!" Caroline shouted before she began to laugh maniaclly. The guy could only watch in horror for a few minutes, eventually his anger boiled over, "HEY YOU FUCKING LOONY BITCH CAN'T-"

BLAM!

The murderers head exploded and her body fell to the ground. "Ummm could you please tell me what's going on?" he turned to the angel who was pulling an umbrella out from under the desk. "Well to make a long story short, all those who enter heaven receive fantastic mental abilities" the guy however could not hear the last three words as they were drowned out by the sound of his head exploding.

This predictably went on for several gore filled minutes.

FOOF!

The burst of energy from Caroline's transport to hell sent the F.B.I. guy hurtling backwards where he was impaled on the Pearly gates. Meanwhile Peter could only shake his head in frustration/exasperation.

IN HELL

Caroline landed with a loud thud, after jumping to her feet she dusted off her clothing and began to look around. First thing she noticed was that she was one the side of an active volcano, the streams of magma flowing down the slopes and into the burned wasteland bellow where clear signs of that. Next sensory input she analyzed was the ambient noise which mostly consisted of the agonized screams of the damned and crackling wood.

She soon found herself at the cave-like entrance to the Nasty Hell, where all the people who knew they were sinning but didn't give a shit go, as announced on the sign. "Hey Caroline!" someone began shouting from deep within the cave. She squinted into the volcanic haze and found a small demon boy dashing towards her. "Oh hey Pepito! Did they rebuild the skool yet!" the woman talked to the antichrist as if, well as if he was just some normal kid whose parents she knew.

"Nope they just moved us to another skool deeper in the city" Pepito said when he reached her. "Oh that's too bad" she mumbled as the demon boy motioned for her to follow him back into the cave. "Father is deeper into the cave dealing with some rather outspoken examples of the damned" he stated as they passed doorways that were labeled with years that went up by decades.

Occasionally a demon would emerge from the doors allowing a glimpse inside. The rooms held pools that generally resemble hot tubs filled with white hot magma eternally scorching the damned while they were being eternally poked by demons. After a few hours of wandering, some arguments about navigation, and asking for directions they found themselves in a massive cavern occupied by a really massive magma pool.

A nearby sign announced it as the "Recent Arrivals, REALLY nasty humans, and Special requests"

The pool itself more closely resembled some freakish facsimile of a summer vacation lake, with demons jet skiing across the surface purposefully running over the damned. "My father is over there" the antichrist pointed across the lake towards a tall figure before running off to play with some other half-demon children.

Caroline began her long trek towards the Prince of Darkness and was generally content with listening to the agonized screams of very nasty people while she walked. Reaching the king of demons she bowed in an exageratted and sarcastic manner, "Hola! Senior Diablo!"

"Oh hello Caroline" the tall demon turned away from the damned he was currently tormenting. "So why did you want to talk to me here?" the murderer asked as she sat on what looked like a demonic life guard tower. "Well if you really must know I made a bet with one of the damned, if he wins he gets revenge on the guy who killed him" at the end of this speech he motioned for Caroline to come down.

"So what exactly are you betting on?" she asked as she jumped down. "He says he can hitch a ride back to the realm of the living on a reviving waste-lock" the entity chuckled as someone latched onto Caroline. She glanced back to find a pimply asshole latched onto her back "I swear if I wake up with you touching me like this I will Kill you myself"

"Yes ma'am" the guy said as he attempted to cop a feel. Caroline kindly responded by elbowing him in the gut and when he let go to double over in pain she picked him up and slammed him down on a stalagmite. He pulled himself off of the stalagmite and started to complain when Caroline punched him in the face. Satan of course found the whole scene hilarious, "As much as I would love to watch you get killed repeatedly I would like to point out that it's almost time."

The guy quickly pulled himself off of the stalagmite and latched back onto Caroline at the last second.

FOOF!


	38. Insanities Grip

**Chapter 38: Insanities Grip**

**A/N:** Devi is caught speeding, Sickness escapes; also Squee is one unlucky kid

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Squee walked the streets of the city late at night, dragging his suitcase and Shmee along with him. After the incident with his apparent "friend" from the future kidnapping his attempted foster father he had been kicked out of the house. Unfortunately for him the phone he had been given had not been charged today so he was forced to navigate through the city alone.

He heard an explosion somewhere off in the distance as he came within sight of Devi's apartment. Ignoring it and the now blaring car alarms going off all over the city for the second time this week he opened the door at the front of the complex and walked in. He first tried the elevators but as always they never seem to be working when you need them.

Thus began his tiring trek up the three flights of stairs that separated him from what had been his home for the last few weeks. _"You know Squee your life seems to be going down the tubes since you got out" _Shmee whispered as they made their trek. "No I will not burn down the institute" the boy whispered back as he reached the third door landing. _"Oh come now! You don't have to burn the whole thing…just the children's ward"_ the pyro-bear retorted as Squee opened the door leading to Devi's hall way.

He was almost to the door when something hit him.

Devi's POV

Devi was not happy. Not only did she have another encounter with the guy who tried to kill her but she also was arrested for speeding. And that is how she came to find herself here, in the VCPD interrogation room/holding cell with an officer who claimed he was a squid and another equally stupid detective.

"So do you mind telling us why you were going 85 in the middle of the city?" the non-squid cop asked. "If you honestly must know I was trying to escape a psycho I once went on a date with" She sat glaring at both men, the non-squid officer looked at her in disbelief. "I do not tolerate lying young lady" the cop continued while the other guide made a sound that a squid would make.

"Alright, alright, there where gangsters involved as well" she sat back in the chair and folded her arms. "hmmmm well that's a little more believable…here blow into this" he held out a breathalyzer, it obviously registered nothing and she was lead out of the room. After a few tedious minutes she was given a speeding fine and lead back to her car.

_"Wow these guys are stupid; I mean even without our influence the still wouldn't be able to catch Nny"_ Sickness spoke as she started the car. "Yeah they are shit stupid, and would you please not talk about Johnny" Devi was far two stressed to bother thinking to the doll. "Why not? He's a pretty decent guy when he's not having a psychotic break" the demon doll continued. "Fuck off" was the only response Devi could muster as she pulled into her complexes parking lot.

Nervously glancing around the parking lot Devi quickly ran to the door and barged in. She raced up stairway after stairway wasting no time, all she could think about was reaching the safety of her apartment. She nearly tore the door to her floor off its hinges as she dashed into the darkened hallway, she was so close to her goal that she failed to see the faint shadow in front of her door until she tripped over it.

She looked down to her feet and made out the faint outline of a familiar ten year old. "Squee? What are you doing here?" she asked as she helped the kid up. "The foster lady called me a "Satanic Sorcerer" because a time traveling friend of mine accidently took the guy back to the future with her" he explained as he groped around for his luggage. "Ummm…okay" Devi was unsure how to respond so she just unlocked the door.

Devi locked all four of the deadbolts immediately after they were both inside. Squee, being a child, up very late, and having just walked all the way across an entire city decided to go to bed. Devi, however could not sleep, she didn't even feel tired, her heart still racing from the earlier panic. So she sat on the couch for a few minutes before deciding that she might as well get some work done.

She opened the door to her work studio to be greeted by the sight of Mr. Spooky standing on the book shelf next to the door. "Oh hey I was wondering where you were, how did you get in here?" she asked from the partially open door. "_I walked in, that's how"_ he demonstrated by walking to the edge of the shelving unit. _"I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for what I've done"_ the squeak toy said in a very serious voice.

"Apologize for what?" Devi asked as she through the door open and set her gaze on the open safe. "What the fuck did you do!" Devi whirled around and grabbed the small squeak toy and began crushing it in her fist. "Oh you shouldn't blame him, he really didn't want to do it" still crushing her friends toy she turned to find Sickness sitting on an unoccupied easel. "So mother, what do you think?" the doll stood, its joints creaking from being stuck in the same position for too long.

The doll had gotten slightly bigger and its hands now terminated in tiny claws. "I'm still going to beat you" Devi stated as she dropped Spooky and began to move towards the easel. "I wouldn't recommend it, though you do get to keep some creativity the little you retain will be nearly useless to you" The doll nervously moved from the easel to a nearby shelf. "That is **if **you try to fight this time around, the more you fight the crazier you'll be in the end…" Sickness would have continued exposition-ing but she was busy being stuffed into a certain purple backpack.

Devi dashed down the halls, practically flew down the stairs and made a mad dash for the front door. She had absolutely no idea what to do; numerous ideas about how to destroy the doll this time around were flying through her mind as she reached for the handle. Then felt the pressure of a humans hand gripping her shoulder, she turned to find the overtly religious guy who normally hung out in the lobby pestering anyone who looked even slightly non-religious.

"Umm, what do you want? I'm more than a little busy here" Devi tried to sound as polite as possible. "tsk, tsk, that anger will get you nowhere" the guy waved a finger at her. "I would just like to point out that a woman in your position could really use the light off god" he stated as he placed a book in the crook of his armpit. "My position? What are you talking about?" she already had a feeling where this was going. "Well a single woman raising a child while in an abhorrent relationship with another female is always in need of the lords help"

"Whoa! Slow down there! You've got it screwed up, I do not have that kind of relationship with Tenna, and the kid is a ward of the state that they set up in my apartment" Devi tried to back away but the man gripped her arm like a vice. "The lord does not appreciate lying, you Goth's are so bathed in sin that it makes the whole world sick, continuing on this path would only hurt you and that kid you claim to be helping!" the man was getting uncomfortably close during this whole tirade.

_"This dick is violating your personal space! Why don't you just kill the bastard and be done with it?"_ Sicknesses voice was incredibly strong as it rang from her head and backpack. "I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING TIME FOR THIS SHIT!" Devi screamed as she pushed the man away. He stumbled back a few feet before completely losing his footing, sending his head straight through an inconveniently located glass coffee table.

Devi could do nothing but stare in shock as the blood slowly dripped onto the carpeting and soaked into it.

* * *

**A/N:** WHOA! What kind of deep dookie has Devi gotten herself into now?


	39. Return to 777

**Chapter 39: Return to 777**

**A/N:** this is a continuation of the previous chapter, if you did not read that one then I suggest you read it right now otherwise you will be seriously confused.

* * *

Devi drove her car through the empty, late night streets of the city, unsure about what to do. After searching for a pulse on the man and finding none, she slung the limp body over her back and dragged him out to the parking lot. There she quickly stuffed the corpse into her trunk, finding that it was the perfect size to accommodate a body. She then began to drive around the city randomly attempting to decide where to dump the body.

"Maybe you should go to the suburbs, there's more dirt out there and less cameras n'stuff" Sicknesses muffled voice came from the bag in the passenger side seat. "I swear as soon as I get rid of this body I am going to throw you into a vat of molten steel" Devi angrily remarked as she began to head towards the suburbs. "This town has a steel mill?" the doll attempted to hold up a conversation. "Yes! Its right next to the aluminum mill" Devi stated as she drove along a street.

Looking for any street signs to find out exactly where she was she began to randomly turn down streets until she found one. "Oh holy fuck no" Devi stated in utter shock/horror as she read the sign announcing that this was "Alces Street". "Oh well isn't this interesting…well it's also a case of good luck, I mean of all people he'll know what to do with a body" the doll taunted as Devi continued down the street.

Soon enough she found the infamous house 777, instead of pulling into its drive way she went a little further to house 779. Hopping out of her car she ran up to the front door, tugging on it she found that it was still unlocked. Despite the dark she quickly found her way to the garage, activated the door, pulled her car in, closed the door, and then spent several minutes suffering a massive panic attack.

"You know this would be a lot easier if you just went up to the front door and knocked" Sickness remarked. "No it would not be easier!" Devi shouted back. Walking to the back of the car she popped the trunk and recoiled at the sight of the man's bloodied head. Resisting the urge to vomit profusely she reached in and pulled the body out by its feet.

It took her less than a minute to drag the body into the house and down to the basement. She sat on one of the couches contemplating her next move. "Well you can't just drop the body in there he'll know something's up" Sickness tried to offer this little tidbit. "Fuck" Devi sighed as she realized that the evil creativity siphon was right.

She shoved the body into the trap door and followed soon after. Dragging the body along Devi searched for a place to leave the cadaver. She walked past numerous rooms, all of which were occupied by corpses in various states of decay. After about ten minutes of wandering and attempting not to vomit her guts out she came across and empty room. This room in particular held a nasty looking device that was essentially two spiked walls aimed at where a person would be presumably placed.

Dropping the body there she quickly ran from the room and along the path that she had memorized. Instead of finding her way out she instead found new, unrecognizable sets of rooms and victims. Eventually she just gave up running and leaned against a relatively blood-free wall. "H-hhelp mme…please?" Devi looked around and found a thin strait jacketed woman hiding under a pile of bones. "Don't help her! She's down here because she's an asshole! A Bitch! Just not a nice person" Sicknesses voice sounded a little more distant, but not much.

Devi walked over to the pile and began to move the skeletons off of the woman. "How did you end up down here?" Devi asked as she helped the woman to her feet. "I'm not quite sure, I was just walking around with my friends, going clubbing and stuff, when this skinny guy bumps into my one friend" she paused as they walked up a flight of stairs. "her boyfriend and mine started yelling at him, telling him how rude he was to just bump into someone, then they started pushing him around then…I don't really know what happened, after that I just woke up here, my boyfriend innards all over the place as the skinny dude rants about being picked on for no reason, and UFO's on Tuesday, and meat!" at this point she was hyperventilating and had to take a moment to calm down.

"I think he might hear voices, he talked about meat as if it was a person, and then something called a nailbunny" Devi set the woman down on a wooden crate. "Yeah that sounds like Johnny" Devi absentmindedly remarked as she looked for some familiar land marks. "YOU KNOW THAT FUCKER!" the woman attempted to gesture but was prevented by the jacket. "Yep, we once went on a date, he tried-" before Devi could finish the woman began screaming.

"YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH THAT SKINNY LUNATIC? OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU LIKE HIS PARTNER IN CRIME!" Devi tried to calm her down but this only made her more frantic. "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MURDEROUS WHORE!" and the woman tried to stand and run. She was of course impeded by near starvation and a strait jacket. Devi attempted to help the woman, but she only tried to kick and head butted Devi. Needing her to calm down a little Devi first slapped the woman, when this had no effect she punched her. This on the other hand had the effect of making her lose her balance and fall down a flight of stairs.

"Wow, two murders in one night, your definitely getting the hang of this" Sickness goaded. "They were both pure accidents, nothing more" Devi tried excusing her actions as she walked into a room with a few barrels marked "blood". On top of one of these barrels was a familiar burger boy statue. "I suppose you must be this Meat fellow everyone's talking about" her voice seethed with anger.

"The one and only" the voice sounded just as strong as Sicknesses. "I see you've been a little busy these last few weeks, I can assure you so has Johnny" the voice seemed just as obsessed with Johnny as sickness. "I don't suppose you know a way out of this hell hole?" Devi inquired. "There's really no definitive path, the rooms change frequently" the voice paused. "While you're here I would like to show you something" the statue said in a voice that was meant to be soothing.

"And what might that be?" Devi reached for the Taser in her pocket, ready for anything. "It's a wall" the figure stated. "What wall?" Devi questioned her eyes darting to the nearby staircases. "The wall right behind you" the figure actually moved this time, pointing behind Devi. She turned, expecting to see Johnny coming at her with a knife, instead she found a wall partially coated in dried blood.

Ignoring the urge to vomit for the millionth time she tuned out the parts of her brain telling her to run and walked towards the plaster abomination. As she approached she noticed that the dry areas seemed to be pulsating like something was trapped behind it. Looking over the gore covered thing she saw that part of the normally smooth plaster was broken in one place, revealing a semi-organic structure underneath. Mesmerized she reached out towards the damaged portion a feeling of dread growing with each inch closer.

As soon as her fingers brushed against the tentacle-like structure within she doubled over in agony. It felt as if someone had turned her spine and brain into molten steel. Unleashing a scream of agony she stumbled over to the stairs and dragged herself up them. When she reached the next floor the feeling faded enough for her to get up and run.

She wasn't even trying to find land marks anymore she just ran through the torture cellar. She passed numerous devices of agony, skeletons, strait-jackets, and nooses. Turning a corner she screamed with joy as she had found the way she had come in. Flying up the ladder she sprinted to the garage, slammed her fist onto the "open" button. She practically leaped into the car and sped off before the door was even done opening.

End: 3/25/2012 10:46 p.m.

A/N: YAY! This chapter is completed! Now that Devi has lost to Sickness expect some Serial Killer Vs. Serial Killer type antics the next time Johnny and Devi meet…maybe.


	40. Flusher Tales XI

**Chapter 40: Flusher Tales**

**A/N:** this chapter be about the demon weasel, an animal whisperer, and mauling's, of course.

* * *

Erik was currently having mixed thoughts about his life. On one hand he was in a very happy relationship with Emily, one the other, the pimple had indeed begun to return. It was still only about the size of a normal pimple, but it was growing at the exact center of the previous one. Pulling himself out of his thoughts he pushed forward and politely opened the car door for Emily.

"So this was a great lunch break wouldn't you say?" she asked as he entered the driver's position. "Oh yes it was" that was his usual short response; he had never been much of a talker. As for the lunch, of course it was good, that's why they came here almost every day during their scheduled hour of lunch.

They soon reached the pet store, and quickly walked in for they were going to be late. Kissing once before parting ways the two split and headed to their respective stations. He stepped through the door of his and carefully avoided the blood spatter from the first and third maulings to occur today, the second one somehow escaped before blood could be drawn. Walking to the back room he grabbed the bag of food and went about the chore of attempting to feed the rabid animals and keep all his fingers at the same time.

When he reached the weasel he couldn't help but feel the familiar feelings of shock and awe as the normally demonic vermin calmed considerably. The weasel's fur had still not grown back completely; the vets had claimed that it had just been a temporary case of mange. Erik thought that they just didn't want to deal with the weasel or wanted it out of their workplace as soon as possible.

Finishing the often lethal chore that had claimed at least 5 of his co-workers he jogged back to his desk expecting the typical flow of assholes and douchebags to start up any second now. Instead he was greeted by a man that represented practically every TV producer stereotype in existence; he even had some game show host mixed in. "Hello insignificant background character, I don't suppose you have ever heard of "Victor Millen: Pet whisperer"?" the guy asked.

"I can't say I have ever had" Erik responded, he was only vaguely interested in those types of shows. "Well just know that he is famous, something you will only get fifteen minutes of on this day only" the guy stated as a camera crew walked in. "Ummmm, so what exactly is going to happen?" he asked giving the relatively unknown producer a quizzical expression. "Someone a lot more successful than you is going to come in to this bizarre store and attempt to communicate with these rabid animals."

"Uh that seems like a very, very bad idea" he said as the crew began filming stock footage of the creatures. "It may be, but it's going to make us a lot of money that we really can't afford to pass up" Erik's new boss said came barging into the back section. "So where is this oh so famous friend of yours?" his boss inquired as he and the producer walked towards some chairs that had been set up by the crew.

Moments later the door slammed open and a somewhat eccentric looking man walked in. "Ah well if it isn't the man of the hour, you're a little late my friend" the director stated. "Only fashionably late" the crazed looking individual stated as he put on a pair of sunglasses. "So what kind of bad tempered pets are we going to be dealing with today?" the absurd man asked of no one in particular. That is when he looked over to the cages and practically jumped back fifteen feet out of pure fear.

Half the animals where attempting to break through the glass to get at the very edible humans outside and the other half were growling menacingly. "Okay everyone we've got ten minutes until we should begin filming so everyone on your toes" the set manager yelled as he walked over to the pet whisperer. "So which animal do you feel like starting with?"

"ummmm, well they all seem pretty damn violent…I think I'll go with the weasel, it seems to be the least murder-y" both Erik and his boss had to suppress their laughter. Soon enough the cameras began to roll and carefully avoided catching Erik in their line of sight. Erik was actually kind of okay with this and did not really pay attention to what was going on until the "cage opened" light came on.

Groaning with dread at whatever was going on Erik looked up and found the famous man holding the oddly calm weasel in his hand. "Well my loyal viewers I am here in a particularly bizarre pet shop, home to a rabid animals section used to train animal control officers" after that he held the weasel up to the cameras. "This little guy has a particular reputation for being one of the nastiest, today I will attempt to communicate with him" with that the minor celebrity held the creature close to his face.

"So little fella, do you have anything to say on this fine day?" after asking this he hmmm-ed and acknowledged that the creature was saying something to him. "What do you mean you're going to use my face to scare small children?" the guy asked after a few seconds. "No I don't think I will let you go, I make money off talking to freaks like you" the weasel grew agitated at this.

"Well maybe if you weren't such a bad tempered monstrosity I wouldn't have to insult you" the guy responded, the weasel just sat in his palm for a few more seconds before launching itself upwards at the man's face. The creature, instead of going for its usual "destroy everything" tactic gnawed along the edges of the man's face. After a minute or two of agonized screams of terror the weasel jumped back into its cage, pulling the guy's face-skin with it.

* * *

A/N: yay this was a fun chapter was it not! Anyway back to your normal gore filled programming


	41. Foster Families: A Third Failure

**Chapter 41: Foster Families: A Third Failure**

**A/N:** That boy just can't seem to get a break can he?

* * *

Squee was feeling pretty good about this foster family. This little attempt had lasted about two days, nearly twice as long as the previous two. This more than made up for the shear bizarre-ness of the nuclear family. The father was a man named "Wacky Steve", he was an albino with a crazed look about him, and other than her thick glasses the mother was relatively normal. The children were also fairly normal compared to the father, except their names. The older one was "Nathaniel", which admittedly wasn't that bad but the younger's name just happened to be "Super fly" for some odd reason.

The whole family happened to be sitting in a van at the moment. They were taking what the father claimed was a short cut to the local farmers market. It was a very strange short cut, not only did it take them unbearably close to the City Cesspool, but it also took them past the Steel and Aluminum mills which had mysteriously erupted into an unquenchable thermite fire a few days ago.

They finally arrived at the open air market and were greeted with the smell of various organically produced foods. "Okee dokee, kids you go with your dad to the foods, I'll go get the spices and other miscellaneous crap" the mother stated as she handed a list to the unnaturally pale man. The three walked off with an abnormally large shopping cart and began to search through the crowded center for the required food.

It took them well over half an hour to gather up all the various salted meats, breads, fruits, and vegetables. By noon all that was left were the milk and cheese products, these of course were stored in a large air conditioned building nearby. They entered the building and the three kids quickly ran off to collect what was needed. Squee had just picked up the last item, a three pound chunk of cheddar, when he noticed Steve having a rather lively conversation with one of the cheese vendors.

"I'm not quite sure, the cheese over there cost's less" that was the first thing Squee was able to hear. "Ah but this is no ordinary cheese, you see it has very special properties" the snake-oil cheese salesman stated as Squee dropped his cheese onto the cart. "Like what?" Steve asked as Squee sat next to the other children, who seemed just as confused as he was. "Well, this particular wheel right here has been known to stave off aging" he hefted up a medium sized wheel. "And this one may be able to cure cancer" He held up a half-eaten wheel.

"SOLD!" Steve exclaimed as he gathered up three whole wheels. Then three rather deformed men came up behind the children and grabbed hold of them. "DAD! WHAT'S GOING ON! ?" Nathaniel screeched as they were carried away. "I sold you for magical cheese that's what!" he happily screamed as the children were taken away. They soon entered the back of the dairy warehouse, it was a very strange place, the entire décor seemed to be based solely on cheese. The doors were cheese slices, the floor was made from blocks of the stuff, and cheese wheels of all sizes replaced many house-hold objects, like doorknobs.

They were placed in a room that was lit by the dim light of gigantic cheese on toothpicks that were set ablaze. The trio simply remained where they had been dropped, to shocked to do much of anything. Except for Squee who sat their wondering what would happen, his thoughts filled with gruesome images.

'oh no their going to make us into giant cheese wheels, or feed up to the dairy cows, or make meat and cheese sandwiches with us' Squee's thoughts only served to aggravate his fear. _"Relax Squeegee I'm sure it won't be that bad" _Shmee attempted to reassure the kid. This, however, failed as several men walked into the room. Instead of wearing evil black cloaks they were dressed in outfits that resembled, and smelled like cheese.

"Dear fellow cheese-ites, we are gathered here today for the annual human sacrifice to Fromage, the dairy god" he paused to point at the children. "If any congragants think these children be unfit speak now" no one spoke, except for the children. "HEY YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" Nathaniel started. "YEAH MAN! OUR MUM WILL MISS US!" Super fly protested. _"Oh come on! Another human sacrifice! If the universe is going to torment you it should at least provide some variety!...that sounded horrible didn't it?" _before Squee could respond the floor gave out from under them and they fell down a massive cheese chute.

They landed in a massive cavern that was of course littered with numerous corpses and skeletal remains. It was also filled with an ominous breathing, the likes of which only comes from massive beasts. Then the lights came on revealing a massive anthropomorphic cow made entirely of cheese. "Maybe if we be quite it won't wake up" Nathaniel whispered, and then the creature awoke and charged. The kids scattered, and began running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Eventually they all found themselves in what appeared to be a loading dock. The creature was still charging straight for them, this is when Super Fly picked up a skull. "Hey, I saw this in a movie once" and he tossed it at a nearby control panel. As soon as the skull met the panel the loading docks door came smashing down onto the critters head. After a few moments of messing with it they got the outer door open and ran like hell.

Squee, instead of running back to the family, found the nearest bus stop and waited. Fifteen minutes later found young Squee stepping off the bus in front of the apartment complex. He pushed the front door open, passed the crime scene tape around the lobby and headed up to Devi's apartment where he began knocking on the door which opened after four deadbolts could be heard undoing themselves.

"Squee? What the hell happened this time?" Devi asked in surprise. "The guy sold me to a cheese vendor for magic cheese and then the vendor guy tried to sacrifice me to a cheese demon" the boy stated as he sat on the couch. "Where's your stuff?" was the next question the now red-haired woman asked. "Ummmm it's still at their house" the boy looked sadly at his feet. "I suppose we could ask Mrs. Diablo to get it, or something like that, do you want to go now or later?" she asked as she sat next to him.

"Now would be nice" the small child said. "Okay then" Devi practically groaned as she walked into the kitchen to grab her keys. Soon after that they were in a car driving to the social services building. They walked in relative silence up to the building, once they were let in they easily navigated the building to find the office they had been told was Mrs. Diablo's.

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!_

Devi Rapped out a series of knocks onto the closed door and waited for the reply. "Come in!" was the answer and thus Devi pushed the door open and enter. "Well hello there Ms. D-What are you doing here Squee?" the social worker stood at her desk, shocked. "The guy sold me and his children for cheese" the oddly calm boy stated as he sat in a chair. "Okayyyy, well I'll just report him…and I assume you want permission to go to their house to retrieve your things?" She looked at the boy who indicated yes.

"Well okee dokee, though before you leave I would like to talk to you about something" Devi finally took a seat. "Well as you probably know the school year will be starting very soon" she started as Devi got comfortable. "You need not worry about enrollment or anything like that, the city will be paying for it, you will, however need to purchase some supplies"

"Huh, I can't say that ever crossed my mind, I've had a lot of things happening lately" Devi had honestly not thought of that. "Well you're in luck, Squee and my son will be attending the same school so I made a copy of the list" she reached into a drawer and pulled out a piece of paper. "The city however, will not pay for the supplies" Devi reached out for the piece of paper. "I suppose that's okay, I just got paid for some freelance work so…yeah" she nervously rambled as she scanned through the list.

And after a series of goodbye's the small child and troubled freelance artist left and headed off to the nearest general store.

* * *

**A/N:** well this is the end of this chapter…


	42. Transition Chapter

**Chapter 42: Transition Chapter**

**A/N:** Exactly what it says on the tin.

* * *

The pair of humanoids walked down the aisles gathering up whatever supplies the almighty list commanded them to. So far they had various pencils, colored, mechanical, and normal, along with other writing implements. They had collected various mathematical tools, binders, dividers, and other school supply type stuff. They did this all while attempting to avoid the numerous other families who were here doing the same thing.

"Well it looks like we got everything" Devi stated as she scanned through the list. "Okay, ummm, I gotta go to the restroom" Squee nervously stated as he pointed in the direction of the confined waste disposal units. "Fine, I'll just wait here" the crimson haired woman stated as she leaned against the shopping cart and watched the child scamper off.

Squee's POV

Squee rushed into the relatively clean and utterly abandoned restroom. Once he was sure there was no one else in the open parts of the rest room he checked the stalls. They were empty, and with his fears of toilet monsters and dooky-blood averted he began to relieve himself. He was almost finished when an older man rushed in and slammed a stall door behind him.

Todd was reaching for the faucet when a massive wet fart noise reverberated through the enclosed space. 'EEEEEEKKK! RETURN OF THE DOOKY-BLOOD!' the terrified little child screamed into his head as he ran from the bathroom.

In The Stall

The guy has his leg lifted up in the stereotypical "here comes a big one" fashion, the farting continues like some sort of low-brow sitcom. After a minute or two it mercifully stops and the guy lowers his leg. "Oh dear lord I am so happy I did not do that in public" the dude stated as he whipped out a cigarette and a lighter. The ignition of the lighter was almost immediately followed by the ignition of the fart-cloud which engulfed the gastro intestinally challenged man.

Devi's POV

Devi leaned up against the cart, just behind the circus that was the check-out counters._ "You know what I just realized?"_ Sickness spoke despite being locked in the car's trunk. Devi just plain didn't answer, the doll continued anyway. _"When the kid goes to school you'll have a lot more time during the day to do shit, I mean you could go to the movie's, watch some TV, maybe go to some art galleries and laugh at the mediocre people"_ Devi just sat their ignoring the head voice. _"You could go for a walk, go to the mall, you could even ask Nny out on another date"_ the last one was so shocking that Devi gasped.

'Why the fuck would I do that?' Devi found it was getting harder for her to think the responses. _"Well you've got a lot more in common now_" the doll was obviously referring to the people from three and four chapters ago. 'Those were accidents! I didn't mean to kill them!' Devi screeched in her head. _"Riiiiiggghtt, just keep telling yourself that"_ the doll continued to mock her. At this moment something impacted the cart, Devi looked over to find a terrified Squee hyperventilating in pure terror.

"Are you okay?" she asked the obvious question. Squee quickly calmed down and gave her an okay nod. They walked along the registers for a minute or two before they found one that had very few people. It soon became their turn and they began to unload the cart onto that little conveyor belt thing all stores have. "Oh goody, another set of school supply shoppers" the wretched cashier whispered under her breath as she began to scan the items. "I am required to ask if you attended that exploding Scool" the cashier asked as she loaded the items into individual bags.

"Ummm, I dunno, Squee?" Devi looked at the little child questioningly. "Yes I did, I'm Todd Casil" the boy stated as the cashier began to type into the register. "How could you not know where your child went to school!" Devi looked up to find a random soccer mom standing behind her. "How neglectful are you? I bet you use the TV as a babysitter!" the clearly hypocritical woman exclaimed. "Whoa! Just slow down there, he's not actually my child, the city just sort of dumped him on me" Devi stated before turning back to the cashier.

"So what? Is there some kind of discount for disaster kids or something?" Devi silently hoped this was true. "Nope! In fact you have to pay 50% more to pay for the buildings reconstruction" the employee enthusiastically stated as she turned the screen to show evidence. "Wait didn't that explode four years ago? hasn't it been repair by now?" the cashier ignores Devi's question as she types out some stuff on the cash register. Devi sighs as she reaches into her wallet for the indicated sum. "I notice you were in the class room where the explosion came from, so you mind telling us all what happened?" the cashier points the screen with Squee's picture on it and the other parents standing around looking exceedingly curious.

"Uhhmmmm, well, the teacher set a horde of zombie schoolchildren on me for questioning a typo in the book, and then a friend of mine was forced to blow up the school to protect me" the kid nervously rambled off. "Man what's wrong with you kid? Are you some kind of crazy munchin?" the cashier laughed in his face. "I bet he's the one who caused the explosion!" the soccer mom from before shouted. _"These people are horrible! Quickly! I saw some lighters earlier! We can light'em up! Seriously kid it will make you feel better" _the fire obsessed bear exclaimed to the only two who could hear him.

"Why set them on fire? They could survive! Come on mother just smash her head into the computer screen!" the violent doll silently shouted. Her unjustly inflated bill paid, the two began to make their way to the door when an explosion blew off the door to the restrooms. Turning back they were greeted with a tidal wave of panicked people whom they began to run ahead of to avoid being trampled. Out in the parking lot Squee paid very little attention to where he was running and soon tripped over a familiar purple jaw-haired girl.

Her Game Slave thrown to the ground the batteries came out erasing any progress up to that point. As he got up he saw the girl glance between her game and him a few times. Then a look of pure rage entered her face as the sky darkened and lightning erupted from the clouds. "Squuee!" the boy was scared and startled by the sudden weather and the terrifying girl, thus he ran to Devi's car threw all his stuff in the back seat and jumped into the car.

Gaz was about to chase the kid you cost her the level however, her floating computer screen father stopped her, stating that they had to leave before the tidal wave of terror reached them. She then stereotypically and angrily shook her fist at the retreating car vowing revenge. The lightning ceased but the overcast clouds remained.

Devi next had to go to her typical place of work. When they reached the 24/7 Squee would have taken up his position on the extra stool behind the counter but the stool had for some reason been stolen recently so he just slumped, unseen behind the counter. Devi retreated into the back of the store in order to take stock of the stores supplies. Now this may seem somewhat neglectful to some real parents, but you should know that with the sudden onset and threat of a thunderstorm that everyone who normally comes into the store had retreated to their places of residence.

Well, almost everyone.

Johnny's POV

"Huh, what bizarre weather this town seems to be having" the ceramic statue remarked from the dashboard of the pickup. The bed of the truck had just been filled up with some random college students that had tried to make fun of the lunatic at the wheel when the clouds suddenly appeared. With the weather all of a sudden so sucky Nny had decided that he would retreat to his basement to teach some of his "guests" a lesson about enjoying themselves at others expense.

But not before he bought himself a brain freezy.

Before entering the establishment the homicidal maniac conspicuously looked through the windows to make sure a certain someone was not working the register tonight. Seeing no one at all manning the register the killer decided that it was a safe bet to enter and purchase his drink.

_DING!_

With no reaction to the bell at the door he quickly ran up to the machine and began filling one of those jumbo freezy cups with the cherry doom flavor he loves so much. Initially the lack of a cashier presented a problem but he just figured he could leave a note with the cash required for payment or something like that. As he stood at the counter fiddling for his wallet he saw a mop of messy black hair just behind the counter.

"Hello?" despite not wanting to deal with people the killer thought it would be nice if someone knew he had bought a freezy. Imagine his surprise when Squee looked back at him over the counter. "Oooo! Hey Squeegee I've been looking all over for you! What are you doing here! ?" the murderous loon excitedly asked. "Hi Nny, the crazy house dumped me on this girl after she helped me paint something, and shes to work here" ignoring the obvious implications of this statement the schizophrenic man continued.

"Oh the Foster system! How's that working out for you?" he asked as he placed the required monetary units on the counter. "Not so good, two of the families they tried placing me with attempted to sacrifice me to something" the boy continued. "Oh dear sorry to hear that, what about this girl you've been placed with?" he asked after sucking on the brain freezy he loved. "She's nice, her friends kind of happy all the time…Oh and the girls name is Devi" at this statement what little color remained in the killer fled like the dickens.

"MR. SCARY NEIGHBOR MAN! ARE YOU STILL ALIVE! ?" to the child it seemed like he had become a ghost. "H-huh? Yeeaaaah…I'm fine little squeegee…I'll just be going" the maniac mumbled in complete shock. However before he could leave, or Squee could protest, a Taser bolt flew out of nowhere and hit Johnny square in the chest. Squee got a glimpse of the maniac falling to the ground before something grabbed him and ran to the back.


	43. Flusher Tales XII

**Chapter 43: Flusher Tales**

**C.t.R.M.**

**A/N:** within this organized assortment of words and meat lies the tale of Caroline returning to life with a funny haircut and having a brief discussion with the undead guy.

* * *

Consciousness slowly returned to Caroline as she cracked her eyes open ever so slightly. Through her narrowed field of vision she was able to see her living room as she had left it, the gore and explosion covered site of an epic showdown between the F.B.I. and a serial killer. An immortal serial killer, whom was now attempting to move around, but found her locomotion restricted by something.

She rolled over and found the guy from hell clinging to her back in a more than creepy manner. She roughly shoved the guy off of her jolting the undead man awake. "Huh? What happened?" the pimple face man asked as he looked around the room. "Well it looks like you've won you're little wager with Senor Diablo, I'd wish you the best of luck on your revenge mission but I just plain don't like you…" the guy stopped looking at the room as she trailed off and directed his attention to the oddly silent woman

He found the waste-lock staring in utter shock at his chest and torso. Seeing as how his stripped happy noodle boy shirt had been completely fine in hell he had no idea why she was staring until he looked down. "OH HOLY LORD!" the man screamed as he gazed upon a torn and bloodied garment and skin revealing his internal organs and a horribly crushed ribcage. "W-what the hell is this about!" the man asked in disbelief.

"Well if I had to take a guess I'd say that you've been returned to the bodily state you possessed before you expired. That being said, you must have seriously pissed someone off" Caroline rambled as she guided some loose strands of hair into the two remaining stalks which were at this point draping at random angles over her head. "And now that you have taken stock of your temporary new lease on life I would really like it if you left" she shooed him towards the door as she walked into the hallway.

"But you can't just leave me like this! I mean can't I borrow a shirt or something! Some bus money?" the weirdo instead choose to follow her into the down the hall. "Listen you pig-headed freak! In the whole few hours that I've known you all you've done is attempt to feel me up or do other vulgar things to me" Caroline ranted as she entered the room where she kept stuff she took from her victims. "So if you feel like living long enough to get your misguided attempt at revenge I suggest you leave at this very moment!" Caroline simultaneously screeched pulled out a dagger, and pointed it threateningly towards the door.

The guy, clearly having learned from some past experience slowly backed towards the door. Caroline, satisfied that she would be bothered now more began to look through jars of hair scrunches/bands until she found ones that suited her purpose. She began using them to sculpt the hair tuffs into distinct antennae like structures that arched back over her head. She had just finished one stalk when she heard her car start.

"FUCK!" she screeched when she passed the living room and noticed her car keys mysteriously missing from the coffee table. Running through the front door she just barely caught sight of her car speeding down the road. "OH DEAR FUCKING LORD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY TOOK MY EYE OFF THAT GREASY FUCKING ASSHOLE FOR ONE SECOND!" she fumed as she ran back into her house scaring the neighborhood children who were out playing.

She rushed back in and when she reached the entryway of the living room Mort launched himself at her. "DIE BITCH!" the death-based rag doll screeched as he attempted to slash her with his scythe. Caroline calmly snatched the rebellious head-voice from midair and began screaming at it. "I AM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD FOR ANY OF YOUR SHENANEGANS MORT!" she continued ranting at him as she walked to a back room and opened her safe. Narrowly dodging the corpse she forgot she stuffed in there, she then threw him into it.

Resuming her previous task of hair maintenance she finished molding the other tuft into an antenna. She briefly considered adding some sort of dangly jewelry to the ends but decided that she would have to get some of that "Absurdly Supportive" hair gel for it to be plausible. She then changed out of her blood stained clothing and threw on some black medium fit jeans, a shirt that only had a hand grenade wielding monkey on it and a pair of dark tennis shoes. After standing around for a few minutes she decided that it was probably a good idea to get a new car.

She then grabbed a typical navy blue back pack and packed it full of some non-typical implements of death. She was reaching for the door knob when a quick, but polite series of knocks came from the other side. She opened the door to reveal a modestly dressed woman wearing a "Neighborhood Moral Watch" pin and carrying a clipboard. "May I help you?" she politely asked despite being thoroughly pissed at the woman's impediment of her current task. "Yes, is it true that at approximately 10:14 this morning you ran into the street screaming several profane words?" the woman somehow managed to ignore the flusher's bizarre haircut.

"Yes, someone was in the process of stealing my car…they succeeded" Caroline pointed out her now empty drive way. "Well that as may be, the Moral Watch has several rules about this, perhaps you got a flyer?" Caroline though back, remembering she had used that sheet to give a victim a series of nasty paper cuts which she then soaked in various pain inducing fluids. "Yeeesssss…." Caroline was getting exceptionally pissed at this point.

"Well, Okay then, for simplicities sake let's begin the fine process right her then, shall we?" Caroline could only nod as she tried to remember what the flyer had said about fines. "Okay now, how long have you been a resident of 343 Bull Moose Boulevard?" the oddly cheerful woman asked as she placed a pencil on the clipboard in preparation for translating spoken word into residual shavings on a matrix of plant materials. "About 6 years" Caroline was getting really angry now; she shifted her weight nervously from foot to foot. The woman scribbled and made checking motions as she mumbled about regulations, rules, and other things, before repeating Caroline's answer. "Okay just one last thing…is your full name Jennifer Caroline Ca…Cuh…Caz…Cuz…Cyz…ummmm, well that's a mean last name" the woman, like any normal human fumbled over even the first syllable of her surname. "I know, it's okay if you just call me Caroline C.*" Caroline attempted to hasten this interaction along.

"No! It's not okay! All public documents must be filled out using full information, dates, names, locations!" the woman exclaimed before having another go at the monstrous name. After a few minutes of continued mispronunciation the woman's eye began to twitch involuntarily. Shortly after that a vein began to be visible with in the woman's skull. "Ummm, are you sure you don't want to take a break?" Caroline asked, hoping the woman would relent, she did not.

The vein continued to grow and pulsate with each passing minute and mispronounced syllable.

_POP!_

It sounded as if a gun had gone off when the grotesque aneurysm burst within the woman's skull. The woman somehow managed to remain upright for a second or two before collapsing into a lifeless meat lump. "Well that's always interesting to watch" Caroline happily stated as she stepped over the lifeless body.

* * *

**A/N:** *-Yep, she's Johnny's older sister, I'm too lazy to come up with a real last name...


	44. Discussion and Discovery

**Chapter 44: Discussion and Discovery**

**A/N:** This Chapter picks up immediately after Devi leaves Squee in the front of the 24/7 in Chapter 42, if you didn't read that one stop now and go back and read it right now!

* * *

She pushed through the "Wretched Employees Only" door and into the stock room to gather the merchandise that the front area was currently in need of. Bit by bit she built up a small pile on the cart that their temporary boss had bought to make the stockers jobs easier. _"This is very boring"_ Sickness complained. "This happens to be a job that pays relatively well" Devi responded, not even bothering to think in the silence of the back.

_"Well that may be, but it's still mind-numbingly monotonous"_ the doll responded after a few minutes. "What are you going to suggest? That I go out and kill someone?" Devi sarcastically responded as she heard the bell indicating the presence of a customer. _"Actually yes, that sounds like a great time!"_ the head voice jeered. At this moment she heard a screaming from the front room and ran to see what the matter was. She ran through the door and found an unusually pale maniac staring shocked over the counter at a shocked-looking Squee.

Devi ran forward, fired her Taser, grabbed Squee, and then ran back through the employees door, she then slammed the door of the safe room behind her. Built by Vince solely for himself, the employees had discovered it shortly after his accident. Now Devi was using it to hide from the mass murderer who seemed to be having a somewhat pleasant conversation with the ten year old she was taking care of. Once the thick door was fully secure she felt around for the light switch, she found it in short order and once it was on she set Squee down and walked over to the camera monitors.

Through these she could see the entire store which quite obviously included the mostly motionless form of Nny. _"Ya see kid? Even this girl thinks your neighbor friends a bad person!" _Devi did not expect to hear this coming from the bear. She swivels the chair around and found the bear slumped against the wall with the child next to it. "Ummmm, Devi are you okay?" Squee asked, seeing her shocked appearance. "I'm okay…I guess, why were you talking to him?" Devi asked pointing to the monitor showing his prone form.

"He used to be my neighbor, he was kind of nice to me" Squee said "kind of" as if he was unsure to describe it as so. "That guy was your neighbor? **You** lived at house 779?" she asked and got a nod as a response. "Wait a second! Is he the "Scary Neighbor Man" the shrinks say you act out your anger through?" She would probably be yelled at by Mrs. Diablo for bringing that up. "No they think I act out my anger through Shmee…they said Nny was my revenge fantasies" the former mental patient happily stated.

"But he's not, I usually tried to stop him from killing…at least when we came here" the small child looked around the room. "Wait, he would bring you to this place **and **kill right in front of you?" Devi massages her temple while trying to get her head around what she's being told, she got a nod before he continued. "Whenever my parents wouldn't feed me for a few days he would bring me here or to a taco place" the child seemed to remember a combination of good and bad memories. "Wow he wasn't kidding when he said the kids parents didn't care for him" Sickness resounded in the silence between the two. _"On second though she's probably one of those sicko's who admire him, she'll probably just trap you in here to keep him to herself!" _the bear did a complete 180 from his previous statement.

"I DO NOT ADMIRE THAT FUCKER! HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" Devi finally lost it as she reached out and began strangling the bear. After the fabric on its head began to pull apart she calmed down and looked down at Squee. Instead of a look of "Holy crap she could hear him the whole time" the kid was looking at her like he had just discovered some mythical creature. "Are you okay?" Devi asked as she handed the bear back to him.

FLASHBACK!

It was four years ago Squee had not seen the scary neighbor man in over a week so he had begun to try and return to a normal sleep schedule. He was currently failing however, as the kid across the street had gotten a "Tickle Me Hellmo" toy.

_TAP!TAP!TAP!_

His first fear was that the toy had come to life and was waiting with an army of zoo monkeys, just waiting to get him when he opened the window. Then the window began opening, he tried to maintain the appearance of sleeping but his eyes snapped open when the window did. "Hey! Squee! Are you here" it was the neighbor man making an appearance after all. Squee threw the covers off of him and went to the window; there the skinny man was standing just outside in the pale moonlight.

"Oh goody you're still alive, I was beginning to worry when you didn't shriek in surprise" the man stated as he looked around the room from his window perch. Even in the dim light Squee could see that the man's face was covered in blood, some dried some dripping from wounds that glinted when the moonlight mirror shards imbedded in them. "Are you okay?" the kid asked hoping the crazy man would leave soon.

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine, I suppose" the guy responded as he ran his fingers across the wounds, wincing when he touched the glass bits. "I did something really stupid Squeegee" he stated as he laid his chin on the window sill. "I had something, no, that's not right! Someone! Who brought me happiness and I just threw it away!" the maniac began to move into his rant mode. "What happened?" Squee asked, his curiosity activated.

"Oh there was this girl, she was nice, smart, and very beautiful, we went on a date, and then I just…" the man trailed off. "You didn't kill her did you!" the boy began to panic at the thought of murder. "Well I tried, she beat me up…I suppose I deserve that" Nny continued as he painfully pulled a small shard from his face. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Squee decided to speak. "Maybe you should try to apologize to her" the kid suggested. "Well I suppose that's a good idea at heart but attempted murder isn't something you can just apologize for…granted it's a lot easier than apologizing for full on murder…" the maniac trailed off again.

Before long he turned and began walking to his house. "Well goodnight Squee! Sweet Dreams! And remember; if you ever find a girl you like do not try to kill her on the first date, or any date for that matter" the maniac then slammed the door of his house behind him. Thus leaving Squee to wonder how the seemingly intelligent man could miss something so painfully obvious in the first place.

END FLASHBACK

Devi and squee just sat in the safe room, staring awkwardly at each other for the next hour or so.

Johnny's POV

Johnny slowly sat up, every muscle aching from the Taser-ing he had received a few minutes ago. "Well this certainly is a strange turn of events" Meat observed from the counter. "No fucking shit Meat! You think I didn't notice!" the killer screeched as he attempted to pull himself up with the counter. "Well I definitely can't bring Squee with me now" the maniac said to no one in particular as he got up.

"Why not? You seamed so bent on it just a few days ago" Meat continued. "Well that was before I knew he had been sent to live with Devi! Of all people, if I try to take him now she'll just try and take him back" Nny continued as he counted out money for the brain freezy which had mysteriously remained upright. "Why would she? It's not like he's actually her kid, I mean she just met him a week or two ago" Nail bunny inquired as he metaphorically slapped Newton in the face.

"Yeah but it's not like she's going to let **me** take care of him" the maniac explained to the head voice as he picked up his beverage. "But he is going to tell her about all the times you fed and protected him when his parents couldn't be bothered to do so" Meat stated. "And he'll probably mention that some of that protection involved mutilating pedophiles!" Johnny exclaimed as he walked towards the door. He was at the door when he turned and cleared his throat. "Well I'll just be leaving now!" he screamed into the empty place before turning and leaving.

* * *

**A/N:** Well isn't this a very interesting chapter hmmmm?


	45. Back to Skool

**Chapter 45: Back to Skool**

**A/N:** this word engorged collection of stuff contains the events of Squee's first day back to public skool…it probably won't end well, I can tell you that.

* * *

Squee sat in the passenger side seat of the brown car with horrific hidden bloodstains in the trunk. Of course he didn't know about those, which probably helped as he was already nervous about the prospect of going to school again. As they turned another corner his anxiety increase as he had flashbacks to his old school. Kids making fun of him for reading and writing, terrible sports accidents, and exploding zombie school children.

Attempting to take his thoughts off of these horrifying memories he glanced over at his caretaker. It had taken her a day or two to stop freaking out over him knowing Nny, however she still looked at him like he was evil from time to time. She had grilled him on everything about the man, asking mainly if he had been following her at all. He had answered the best he could and eventually they just stopped talking and just stared at the TV for hours.

He felt the car come to a stop and closed his eyes, silently hoping that it was just another stop light. "Well, we're here" Devi stated, her voiced filled with what sounded like pity. And pity is exactly what he needed for when he stepped out of the car he immediately saw at least twenty kids from his old school roaming about the grounds. "Okay, well I'll just be here to pick you up around 3, okay?" she mumbled as she reached for the door handle.

"Okay" and with that answer the door slammed shut and the car sped off leaving poor Squeegee at the mercy of the public school system. He turned around and looked nervously through the throng of cliques, bullies, and tormented nerds. _"Relax ma boy, this schools so big the chances of you having a class with one of your former, torturous classmates is very low!" _Shmee tried to reassure him, in hindsight he probably shouldn't have brought the teddy bear to school, it was sure to get him bullied.

Then he began his trek towards the front door.

He navigated through the crowd, attempting to find the path with the least amount of people in it when he found his path suddenly blocked by a familiar kid with a skin condition. "Squeak-hyuman! How did you escape from the defective hyuman detention center!" Zim screamed while pointing accusingly at the child. "I didn't escape, they kicked me out" the child answered, scared that the lack of movement made him a target for bullies.

"Hmmmm, mmmmm, hmmm" the alien just stood there for about five minutes making various questioning sounds before running off somewhere. Squee hurried through the remaining children and entered the school building. Inside was much better than the grounds, it was cooler and there weren't as many children. He eventually found a map of the school used specifically for new students. After getting his bearings the small trauma magnet walked off in the direction the map indicated as the way to the main office.

Soon enough he found himself in a chair across from an ancient looking secretary. "So you're one of the new students, eh?" she got a silent nod as a response. "Well okay then, may I have your name?" Squee told her. "Hmmmm, a mental hospital!" she eyed the young boy suspiciously. "Well everything in is order, you've been assigned to room 18" she motioned towards then new student map.

Walking down the hall to his room made him nervous. He kept seeing a few of his old classmates and swore some had pointed and giggled at him. _"Whoops, spoke to soon" _the bear apologetically commented as Squee was greeted with the sight of his new class. Most of the students had come from his old school and a few of the others appeared to be heroin addicts.

Attempting to ignore the children he found the desk that had his name on it. He set his heavy backpack on the ground next to his desk and plopped himself into the seat. "Hey look! It's Squeak!" Squee practically jumped out of his seat as one of his bullies walked up to him. "Hey! Where you been? I betcha been off writin' stuff" The bully had actually appeared to have gotten dumber since the last time they met.

"Well kind of, I've actually-" he was cut off as the bully had decided to test gravity with the kids body; it worked. He propped himself up, and stared helplessly as the entire class laughed at his minor discomfort. After approximately ten minutes of gut-busting laughter, and one incident of actual gut-busting, the laughter died down in time for the beginning of class bell to ring. "All righty time for class! Get to your seats!" the youngish man entering the class seemed to be the teacher.

It took about a minute for the children to get in their proper places. "Well seeing as how it's the beginning of the year I believe some introductions are in order" the somewhat nervous, sweater-vested man grabbed a piece of chalk from the chalk holder. "I am Mr. Walrus, but you may call me Mr. W for short" the guy seemed oblivious to the children's giggles as he sat back down. "Now, I am going to read off your names and you can tell me what you prefer to be called"

"Casil, Todd" it had not taken him long to reach out protagonist of this chapter. "Present and ummmm…" the boy trailed off, wondering if he should say his terror induced nickname. "…Squee" several of the newer classmates snickered as he regretted the decision. "Squee? That's an odd nickname…oh well, Diablo, Pepito?" Squee looked nervously around the room and found the owner of the name.

"Here, and you can just call me Pepito" the horned child stated pleasantly. The teacher finished rattling off the students names and began to talk about the school year. He talked about supplies, projects, about how this year they would have a field trip to Membrane Laboratories. He told the kids that they really shouldn't touch anything in there, especially not Super Toast; he thought it might be radioactive. Of course a few of the children with grotesque tumors protested this, saying super toast was, well, super. This mind-numbingly dull argument continued until the lunch bell rang.

Grabbing his bagged lunch from his backpack and carefully keeping Shmee out of sight he was in no hurry to reach the lunchroom/zombification factory. Once he did get there, he found that most of the tables were taken, mostly by specific groups all of whom seemed to be making one joke about him or another. "Hola Amigo!" he turned and found the only Spanish speaker he knew in the school, Pepito, The Antichrist.

Having nowhere else to go the easily scared kid walked over and took one of the spots at the relatively empty table. He placed his lunch bag on the table and looked around at to other residents. The ones sitting at the far end of the table were inconsequential characters of no particular importance. But of the characters who are indeed important Squee spotted the scythe haired boy whom had attempted to warn the D.H.M.I. staff of Zim's threat, also there was the girl whose video game had been disrupted by the terrified boy.

Thankful that the girl was too distracted by the game to get revenge, the boy began to eat his lunch. "So amigo where have you been these last few years?" Pepito asked as he munched on a bacon, lettuce, and soul toast sandwich. "Ah, well I was sort of thrown into a crazy house" The kid was nervous about discussing. "Oh man sorry to hear that, well at least you're out now" the antichrist enthusiastically stated.

"Hey! You were at the same crazy house as Zim! Do you know what he was planning!" The kid whose name was Dib exclaimed. "Ummmm, he really didn't seem to have a plan" the kid mumbled while several kids called Dib crazy. It was at this moment that Gaz finished the games current level, saved and began eating her lunch. As soon as she caught sight of Squee her eyes opened enough for the pupils to be seen and her left one twitched in pure rage as the storm started up once more.

Squee being the terrified little child that he is was happy when the bell rang commanding them to return to their classrooms. "Well class how was your first lunch back in school?" Mr. Walrus asked enthusiastically. "It was great! I had Super-Toast!" one of the super toast advocates exclaimed. In response the teacher grabbed a Geiger counter out of hammer space and placed it near the child's mouth getting a monstrously crackling sound in response. "See I told that stuff was bad" Despite the evidence the children continued to claim super toasts awesomeness and the class quickly descended back into the debate.

After a while of this mindless discussion Squee's thoughts began to wander, mainly towards what sort of revenge the girl would get on him. _"Relax she's in her class right now and it's not like she's can do anything with all the anti-bulling crap going on"_ Shmee remarked as Squee looked out the window. He saw lightning flash and could have sworn he saw a rain soaked Gaz standing outside, at first he thought he was seeing things but when this happened a few more times he began to freak out.

_GENARIC SCHOOL BELL SOUND!_

And with that the class began to file out of the room. Squee stayed behind for a little bit in order to grab his rain coat and avoid someone possibly seeing Shmee. He then walked into the hallway which was at this point empty he then navigated back to the schools front porch to wait the ten minutes he had to endure for it to be 3 o'clock. When he arrived he found a majority of the people who had been at the table waiting as well.

He also found Zim whom was staring, terrified into the down pour. One of the other people, whom happened to be the girl that had been his first foster family's neighbors, was also waiting on the porch. The blue haired girl whipped out an umbrella and walked out into the storm, taking a moment to glance mockingly at the invader before heading off to a car plastered with the "Delicious Wiener" logo.

"_HELP!" _Squee looked over to find that Gaz had somehow gotten hold of Shmee. He knew she meant business and looked at her pleadingly as if that was going to help. She then tossed the pyro-bear into the street where it was run over by a certain brown car. The weather then immediately cleared up as Squee looked on in utter shock.

* * *

**A/N:** Does that seem like something Gaz would do to get revenge?


	46. DtHM

**Book 5**

**Cover: Like the cover of JtHM #1 only with Devi holding the knives**

**Chapter 46: D.t.H.M.**

**A/N**: The "D" is for Devi…muwhaha! Ahahahahahahaha! hahahhahahahahaheeehehee heeeh!…yep.

* * *

Devi looked with pity at Squee's reflection in the rear view mirror as she drove toward the place of public learning. From what he had told her he was pretty much the only target bullies ever went after at his old school. Her thoughts shifted from those to the matter of what she was going to do for the next eight hours.

The door to her apartment swung open as she entered, she then slammed the door shut locked all the deadbolts and trudged over to her couch. There she plopped herself down next to the demented doll which somehow escaped her car's trunk every time she managed to trap it. "So what are we going to do today mother?" the scythe-legged creature somehow moving across the couch without tearing the fabric. "**We **are not doing anything" she angrily stated as she walked to her studio room.

"Awwww but I was hoping we could do something fun today!" the figment followed her down the hall. "Like maybe kill that pervert on the second floor" Devi gagged at the mention of the man whom had asked if she wanted to see his "Nut Zone" the time she defeated Sickness. He had followed her to this building when that one went up in a plane crash; he had developed a nasty habit of exiting his room whenever she and Squee passed. "I am not going to kill anyone, I've already filled a complaint with the super" she stated as she examined several tubes of paint.

"And what makes you think that's going to do anything?" the doll questioned. "The guys a creepy pervert I'm sure I'm not the only one to complain" Devi by now had found that she was almost out of paint and decided to go buy some more. As she walked towards the door Sickness followed like some demonic puppy. "You are staying here" Devi pushed the doll backwards. _"Whatever, I can still talk to you"_ Sickness broadcast the response into Devi's thought-meats.

A number of standard short-time units later Devi found herself walking away from a parking lot along a street lined with various stores. As she walked along she noticed a change in the commute, normally as she walked along other pedestrians and their friends would point her out for being different and laugh. Today, the few who were out seemed completely oblivious to her presence, even a guy walking in the opposite direction as her while looking directly ahead. He began rushing towards another car, possibly his, and in his obliviousness impacted the red haired woman. The man mumbled a hastened sorry before running off. _"I bet if you had killed that guy no one would have noticed"_ the dolls words entered her head.

"I am not going to kill anyone" Devi said in a hushed voice, despite her apparent invisibility several pedestrians looked at her as if she were indeed insane. By now she could see the art supply store, but it was something else that really caught her eye. Next to her was a clothing shop, and in the front window was displayed several articles. One of which was a violet shirt with a symbol similar to the one she had painted onto sickness, like the shirt she used to have as a teen.

"I think you should buy it" Sickness encouraged the artist. "And why should I do that?" Devi said out loud, numerous pedestrians were now avoiding her. _"Well, for one you really like it, and two, wouldn't it be so cute if we matched!"_ the bizarrely behaved doll elaborated as gunshots could be heard in the background. Ignoring the gunshots and giving only a snarl as a response Devi continued on her way to the art store.

_DING!_

The seemingly generic store bell sound erupted from a speaker as she entered the establishment. Walking over to the counter she grabbed one of the baskets they make you use to collect your items. She wandered through the relatively empty store grabbing hold of whatever she needed to restock her studio. As she examined particular shelving unit near the window she looked out said window and sighted a Taco Smell. Already feeling hungry due to having not eaten breakfast she decided that she would eat there after making her purchases.

To that extent, she turned around and made her way to the counter. As she unloaded the contents of the small basket onto the counter she noticed a new sign attached to the register. It stated in gaudily colored letters that any artist that gains income through their work would be eligible for a discount of some kind. "Hey could you tell me about this discount?" Devi asked of the cashier, who looked very dead inside.

"Well, if you have a job were you are paid to paint you can get up to 25 % off…it's a new discount the boss added it just about a week ago" the woman paused for some reason. "I'm told to give it to artists who have at least some art in at least on art gallery on this list" she pointed to a paper behind the counter. "Well I don't have anything in those galleries but I do work as a cover artist type person for a publishing company…that's got to count as something" Devi stated as the woman began to ring up her items.

"Well if you're not good enough to get into a gallery I don't think I should give you any kind of discount" the woman somewhat angrily stated. "Hey! I happen to be a great artist! Which is why they chose me to do cover art!" Devi was getting angry. "HA! That's a laugh! Everyone knows if you can't get into a gallery you're mediocre at best!" the woman laughed along with a customer that was behind Devi, Devi was losing control of her anger.

As the woman loaded the supplies into plastic bags she continued to laugh maliciously, Devi started to reach for the knife she had begun carrying around since learning that Squee knew Nny. Devi then lost it, she reached over the counter grabbing the woman's face and stabbing her repeatedly in the neck. Hearing gasps of horror originate from behind her Devi found no fewer than six other people in the store.

The nearest person had their cellphone out and was attempting to call the police when she hacked off his arm. He turned, screamed, and coated the others in blood spray as Devi lunged towards a couple nearby that was attempting to make a break for the door. Finally Devi knocked over a shelving unit trapping the remaining people and allowing her to stab them without them trying to escape.

A few minutes later Devi calmed down enough to realize what just happened. _"Wow! See I told you that would be fun"_ Sickness' voice returned. "Th-that was not fun! I just killed six people!" Devi screeched as she grabbed her purchase from the blood-stained counter. _"Oh come now! They deserved it! They were mocking you, laughing at your perceived mediocrity!"_ Despite the voices persistent attempts to justify the small massacre, Devi still freaked out and ran out the back of the store.

* * *

**A/N:** Wheeeeeeeeeeee! Murder! Death! Bleeding! Blood loss! Red Rum! RED RUM! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAAAAaaaaaa! I just watched The Shining.


	47. An Oh Shit Moment

**Chapter 47: An "OH SHIT!" Moment**

**A/N**: This collection of words referred to as a "Chapter" occurs at approximately the same time as the previous, similarly named collective. The reasoning behind the title will not be readily apparent

* * *

Nny slammed the silver pickup's door behind him as he had already placed the vehicle monstrosity in the designated space. Walking between his car and the red-ish one next to him he made his way to the main moving area of the parking lot, whatever that's called. "Hey meng! You know yous supposed to put the critter on the front of your truck!" Nny looked up to find some guy wearing hunter type clothing pointing to the blood stained bed of the truck.

"Oh, okay then!" he called back, really wanting to talk, didn't even know why he was here. "So what kind o'game you hunt?" the hillbilly was now following the deranged man through the parking lot. Nny thought about killing him, but he had a hunting rifle with him for some reason, that and Nny was very hungry. "oh yeah that's why I'm here…" the maniac had not eaten anything other than brainfreezies in weeks and had found himself craving Mexican; bringing him to the current situation. "ummmm, well if you really must know I hunt the most dangerous game" Johnny said before chuckling to himself, sure that the redneck would not get the reference.

"So whats that supposed to mean? Angry deer? Moose? Bears?...thats it ain't it you hunt bears!" the guy enthusiastically questioned as he put his hand on Nny's shoulder. Johnny then whirled around grabbed the man's gun and shoved it up the man's ass. He then pulled the trigger blowing the man's head clean off and showering the few pedestrians in vital head bits. While the others simply screamed, vomited, fainted, ran, or did any combination of the four, Johnny simply continued on towards the nearby taco place.

As soon as he entered the place which proudly proclaimed it would destroy your bowels he was immediately set on edge. Everyone in the restaurant was looking at him, as he walked towards the counter he could barely hear their whispers. They gossiped about the "weird, skinny guy" wearing all black clothing, he also heard them wondering why his shirt said "Yummmm Tacos". After purchasing just that particular food item and filling a cup with some fizz-wizz he sat down at a window table and began to eat.

About halfway through, he was interrupted by a random guy walking up to his table and staring at him. "May I help you?" the maniac angrily asked of the yuppie. "Yeah, I suppose you can, me and my buddies are just trying to figure out what's wrong with you" he pointed over to a group of two or three other people. "And why exactly would there be anything wrong with me?" Johnny could feel the urge to kill, but refrained as he did not want body parts in his taco.

"Well just look at you!" he motioned to Johnny's attire. "You're dressed in all black, you boots scuffed up the floor when you walked in, and your shirt…changed…I think" he was now pointing at the Happy Noodle Boy logo on the murderers chest. "I really can't remember what it said when you came in…but it doesn't matter, I mean it's like you don't even want others approval" the man finished up his little speech. Johnny was about to begin a rant about how he didn't need or want others approval when some woman screamed and pointed across the street.

Everyone looked out the window and set their eyes on the paint supply store across the street. The windows were having something deep red spattered across them that suggested it was coming from inside something that was formerly alive. The people with in the restaurant could only stare in shock as a blood drenched man stumbled out of the store and across the street.

By the time the survivor had reached the taco place Johnny had finished his meal and was throwing his trash away. "What happened! ?" one of the normal customers ask as two men helped the third to a seat. "I-i'm not quite sure, I was just in there buying some paints" he paused as a wave of trauma washed over him. "this red haired chick was trying get a discount, shshee thought doing some cover art for unheard of company was enough….obviously it wasn't and the cashier was laughing at the girls mediocrity, and her dumb attempt at getting out of paying in full, everyone else thought it was funny to, then, thththen…." The man trailed off as he curled up into a ball of pure PTSD.

"hehehehe, well that's what you get for mocking other people!" Johnny giggled maliciously at the man's misfortune. "Whoa! That's not nice!" the first customer said as she attempted to calm the man. "Yeah! What kind of wacky thought process do you have to have to think killing is an okay way to deal with things" the man whom had originally insulted Johnny retorted.

**(A/N:** Do I really have to tell you what happens after that?**)**

IN THE CHANNEL 8 NEWS ROOM/INTERVIEW PLACE

Reporter: "Well viewers we bring now bring you shocking and disturbing news of not one but two horrific massacres within our tormented city"

CUT TO OUTSIDE

Street Reporter: "Well as you can see I am standing in the middle of a street, not only that but I am also standing almost exactly halfway between the locations of the two incidents. The first occurred within the Art store to my right, the other just moments later within the Taco Smell to my left" she paused as the camera panned to show the two blood stained and police tape enshrouded establishments.

StRp: "We have been told that there was in fact a victim that survived but is in what doctors are calling a "Scared *Bleep*less coma"

BACK INSIDE

Rp: "Thank you Kelly. We have just been told that the coma victim may in fact recover within the next few minutes, so while we wait we will introduce our guests. Tonight we have Police Chief Krapfen, F.B.I. Special agent Fowl, and famous psychic Rachel Bueller."

Krapfen: "Thank you for having us. What we think occurred in this incident is that the killer, nervous about being caught once more, left one victim alive. He then helped the guy across the street to fake two survivors, and when this failed he killed the other restaurant goers….Where the *bleep* are those donuts I ordered!" He explained, then screamed before another officer arrived with a box of donuts

Rp: "Uh, Well thank you for that assessment. Agent Fowl I just want to thank for coming despite your families recent murder at the hands of a maniac"

Fowl: "Thank you and I would like to add to the description announced earlier. The man whom killed my family had a weird shirt or tattoo that made it appear as if he had been mutilated. If anyone sees this man I encourage you to shoot him in the face, I will take all the blame" an awkward silence befell the studio.

Fowl: "As for Chief Krapfen's analysis, I would have to agree" it took a few minutes for the head reporter to stop freaking out.

Rp: "umm well this is turning out to be very interesting. Mrs. Bueller, do you have anything to add?"

Bueller: "Well I have been to both locations and the energy I picked up on seemed to indicate the two atrocities were commited by different people" the seventy something woman started. "And there was something vaguely familiar about the energy in the taco place"

Kr: "Two serial killers? Ha! Yeah right! And I bet your gonna say the Deca-Killers the one who did the taco place!" this verbal assault made the elderly woman very nervous.

Fowl: "Naw, he's gotta be nearly as old as her by now…I bet it was his son carrying on the family legend!" Fowl needed to vent some anger about his slaughtered family.

Everyone in the studio laughed hysterically at the prospect of a deranged killer having kids. They laughed so hard no one noticed the elderly psychic looking at all of them as if she knew something they didn't*.

Rp: "Quiet! The survivor has woken up! Tell us you incredibly lucky man! How did you survive two of the Vasquez City Killer's rampages?" she asked as the phone clicked in.

Survivor guy: "You mean how did I survive the separate rampages of two killers? There **were **two you know, the one in the art store was some Red haired chick we were making fun of for not being a mainstream artist, I survived that cause I got buried under a shelf where she couldn't see me" Despite the horrors he witnessed he was holding together remarkably well.

Sg: "The one at the Taco Smell was some skinny dude who laughed at my trauma. I survived that, I think cause I already looked dead with all the blood on me. And the killer, he was set off by just one word it was…it…it…" he began to choke on the memory.

Bu: "Wacky? I got a feeling that it had something to do w-"she was cut off as the survivor began to scream in pure terror before the phone was cut off.

Kr: Two killers…" shock filled the room as if it were a solid substance.

Fowl: "Oh shit, that is just…really, really…not good"** (A/N:** And there's the reason for the title**)**

Rp: "Ummmmm, c-callers, puhlease do comment" the reporter could barely comprehend the sheer horror.

Caller 1: "Wow ain't that just a shock! Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll kill each other in some sort of 'This Town ain't big enough for the two of us' type showdown" seeing his humor was not appreciated he hung up.

Caller 2: "Oh hey! Did you know they actually still charge for cross country calls? Weird huh? Anyway Agent Fowl! I just want to ask if the guy who killed your family gave any sort of indication as to where he was going…he, sort of stole my car, and I really want it back…don't get me wrong the sports car I got from that "recently deceased" *bleep*bag is nice but it has very limited trunk space" the woman rambled on apparently oblivious to the look of horror developing on the man's face.

Fowl: "And what exactly do you plan on doing once you find him?"

Caller 2: "I dunno, I'll probably just re-kill the bastard. Maybe, I'm kind of…engaged in some very serious business and can't really leave my house at the moment. (Someone heard talking in background). "No one cares what you think Mort! No one cares….." and with that she hung up leaving everyone in the audience seriously confused.

Rp: "ummmm, well that certainly was interesting. Ummmmm, please enjoy the words from our sponsors while we fire the call screeners"

Cut to Taco Smell commercial

* * *

A/N: Now this was certainly an increasingly interesting chapter.

*-don't you all love these frustratingly vague hints of Johnny's past!


	48. Another Skool Day

**Chapter 48: Another Skool Day**

**A/N:** Yay Squee's back in school! That poor boy is doomed (HINT!) seriously I might as well be beating you over the head with an inaccurate history text book with that hint.

* * *

Mr. Walrus had just finished taking attendance and was now pacing around the front of the room with a history text book in hand. "Alright class! Seeing as how it's your first week back in school I'm thinking a review is in order" he happily stated before flipping the book open to a random page. "Alright-y then!" he paused to look at the attendance list. "Little Ginny, could you please tell me which gave us the Philippines, after we kicked their butts in a war?" he asked the small child.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm" the girl was too busy texting to care. "Ummmmm, okay then…..does anyone know that answer?" he asked generally, Pepito raised his hand, and was chosen. "It was Spain" the antichrist rattled off the answer. "Good! Now let's try something a little earlier" he happily expositioned as he flipped towards the books front cover. "Okay, first off an easy one, when did Columbus discover America?" the teacher asked and almost everyone raised their hand. Except for Squee, whom was consumed by the horrific memory of zombie schoolchildren. "Wow! That's more like it! Okay so, Squirrel boy what is the answer?" the rest of the children lowered their hands as the rodent child chattered away. "1429" he stated with confidence and joy.

"Close, sort of, it was actually 1492" Squee was happy that the teacher realized the typo. The other kids, however, were giggling venomously and before long someone stated "the book says 1429". The teacher flipped through the book for a few moments before finding the correct page. "Huh, well it appears this book has a major typo" he mumbled to no one in particular, before picking up the desk phone. Meanwhile Todd was feeling particularly good about the whole situation; you just know this won't last.

When Todd began paying attention once more Mr. W had already dialed the number for the principal's office. "Hello, this is Henry Walrus, I would like to report a typo in the book" he paused as the call could be heard getting transferred. "Hello sir! Um, yes it is the Columbus typo, I see I'm not the only one who noticed" he paused as the principal talked and a confused look developed on his visage. "What do you mean it's there on purpose! That's not right! I'm supposed to be teaching them not making them dumber!" some demonic pig noises began emanating from the phone.

"Well, no I don't, yes I think it's wrong, b-but I don't want to teach in the underground classrooms!" at that moment a trap door opened beneath the teacher. He fell into it but was able to hold onto the phone line, saving him from the inferno below. After a few minutes of watching him struggle the students attention was diverted towards the door. The door was now open and a bizarre shadow being had walked in. In one hand the figure was carrying a supervillian-esque beaver, in the other, a tickle-me hellmo doll.

After a few minutes of the teacher begging the being for forgiveness, the figure dropped the doll onto the man's face before walking out of the room. From inside the trapdoor could soon be heard a series of agonized screams, this was followed by a small explosion, a fountain of fire ants, and soon after a horde of monkeys came in and jumped in with the guy. After about ten minutes of this horror phone line went slack and the trap door closed.

Without a teacher to control them the class soon became unruly, talking, texting, doing things that teachers generally don't approve of. For the most part Squee just sat there in shock, but after a few minutes he calmed and began to reach for his writing supplies. His attempt at being creative was cut short as a familiar doom obsessed teacher materialized out of the shadows.

(A/N: **DOOM!** )

"Greeting's class, I am Mr. Walrus' replacement" Ms. Bitters started off as she wacked Walruses name plate off the desk. "Despite what he told you, you are not all full of potential" students that had previously had her knew the doom-y speech that was coming. "In fact your all doomed to become wasteful, mindless, savages within the doomed system we call existence"

_LUNCH BELL!_

Squee made his way to the lunch room that he had taken up residence at in the first few days of school. "So amigo! How's your first week of school been?" Pepito inquired as he devoured a sandwich. "Okay I guess" the child stated as he ate his own lunch. Whilst doing so he glanced around the relatively empty table that had become his permanent residence. There were the usual background characters, Gaz, Pepito, though Dib was oddly absent. A quick look around the cafeteria revealed the large-headed boy to be off towards a mostly abandoned table, while talking to Zim and some orange-haired kid.

"Hey Squeak!" Todd turned to find one of the kids from his class walking over. The fat, shaved-headed boy was carrying with him a lunch tray that held some form of mobile green glop. "I saws you takin' out dat writin'stuff!" he semi-unintelligably exclaimed. "Yeah so? There wasn't a teacher so I needed to do something" the boy exclaimed as he finished his juice box. The bully, clearly angered by the retort slammed his lunch tray down next to Squee and grabbed the boys pencil pouch. "I betcha jus gonna go on wit yer nerdy writtin and stuff, eh?" the bully stated as he poked his lunch with a fork.

The possibly inedible gunk then leapt up and engulfed the pouch, landing back on the tray with a splat. The bully just laughed and pointed at the look of utter surprise and shock on Squee's face. Behind him, Squee could here immense amounts of face melting energy crackling off of the antichrists fists in preparation for defending his friend.

Then the green glop leapt up and latched onto the bullies face.

His muffled screams could barely be heard as he tried desperately to pull the thing off of his head. After several minutes of some horrified screaming, and violently entertained school children, he fell over in a corner of the lunchroom and did not move for the rest of the lunch period. Even when the bell rang the bully did not get up, not that anyone really cared about the fat, mean kid.

In The Classroom

"Alright class now that you fully comprehend just how doomed you really are I am required to make an announcement" the demonic hag of a teacher stated after a several minute long, doom filled speech. "At the end of this month the school will be holding its first parent teacher night of this year" she got up and wrote "Parent Teacher Night" on the board, making horrific, nails-on-a-chalkboards sounds while doing so.

"Due to an…incident, during one of last year's Parent Teacher Night, this one shall not be held in the school" She paused to sit down. "Instead one of our richer and therefore much more important than you students offered her obscenely large house as a venue for the event" she clicked a button and a projector activated, revealing a picture of a massive house. "As you can see the house is incredibly large, those of you not already fitted with tracking device are encouraged to take part in a buddy system" as the hag droned on Squee recognized the house as belonging to the neighbors of his first foster family.

"Some would have me say that taking a buddy into that labyrinth of a house is to keep you from going insane if you get lost" Ms. Bitters now had an ominous tone in her voice. "But that would deprive you of a vital learning experience, instead you should take multiple buddies so that, when you begin to starve you will have a source of food" the children seemed unfazed by the mention of cannibalism. "To this end, I suggest you make friends with some particularly chubby wretched students in these next thirty days.

_END SCHOOLDAY BELL!_

Instead of heading immediately to the front of the school Squee made his way back to the cafeteria in hopes of retrieving his pencil pouch. He entered the cafeteria and was thankful that it was abandoned. Walking over to where he remembered the kid stumbling and falling over Squee was shocked to find, nothing. Where the kid should have been was nothing but a few dried green food scraps and a fluid I really don't want to identify.

Glancing around the empty room he could not see any sign of the kid. Happy that he had convinced Devi to buy some extra supplies, despite her oddly increased fear of the outside world. After thinking these thoughts, and wondering why she flinched every time the cops drove by he decided to return to the pickup place. He was halfway to the exit of the cafeteria when something large hit him, knocking him back into the room.

After recovering from the fall, Squee looked on in utter horror at the monstrosity before him. It was a horrific amalgamation of the bully and his lunch. There were splotches that were human and others that were crusty green, from its back extended several tendrils that greatly resembled the cafeteria food. The slavering beast then charged after young Squee, he was however able to dodge the dumb hybrid and took to tricking it into head butting several walls.

The slow monstrosity figured out his ruse, and began running randomly after the kid. Eventually it cornered him inside the kitchen, Squee attempted to throw numerous trays and utensils at it, but all were swatted away before impact. Seeing that his prey was tiring the Bully-food charged, Squee jumped inside a refrigerator to attempt to avoid being mauled. The creature impacted the metal once and was most likely giving itself a running start for a second attempt when a large explosion could be heard from outside.

After a few moments Squee opened the door and beheld the sight of the green lunch food spattered all over one end of the kitchen, the relatively unharmed kid sitting in the middle of it. "Are you okay amigo?" Squee looked through the main door to find Pepito standing there, fists crackling with energy. "Ummm yeah I'm fine" Squee assured the antichrist as he retrieved his pouch from the gooey mess.

It took them a few minutes to reach the entrance of the school. By that time Squee could see that Devi had been waiting for a while. As he made his way to the car he glanced back at the school, almost daring it to torment him more. Oddly enough nothing else traumatizing and Squee just continued to walk out of the school yard and down the side walk.

Devi's POV

Devi had already been at the school for about ten minutes by the time Squee came out. As he made his way to the car he looked back at the school as if it were going to jump up and attack him. When it did nothing he turned and ran to the car and jumped into it, carefully avoiding touching anything with the pencil pouch he normally had in his back pack. "Hey what happened?" Devi inquired of the goo covered school supply as Squee waved goodbye to his few friends. "It was eaten by a food demon" the kid stated as if horrific things like this were normal, which for him they were. The car pulls away from the curve and the pair drive off towards their apartment

"Devi" the kid timidly attempted to get her attention as she pulled onto a main street. She gave him a nod to indicate she was listening. "I'm supposed to tell you that their having a Parent Teacher Night thing at the end of this month" the kid stated as they drove along. "Oh yeah, Mrs. Diablo called about that, she said we don't necessarily have to go" she inconspicuously asked the question while stating a fact. "

"hmmm, I think we should go, if you're alright with that" Squee was afraid of what Ms. Bitters would do if he did not show up. "Yeah sure, I should be done with my latest cover work by then so I'll have time" She mumbled as she tensed at the sight of a cop car sitting in an alley.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, a typical school day for the life of our favorite trauma magnet. What kind of zany things will happen in our next installment? Stay tuned to find out!

In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue

In 1429 Columbus sailed the ocean..brine


	49. Blood & Movies

**Chapter 49: Blood & Movies**

**A/N:** Sausage, money, diamonds, and pudding; all things that go better with blood than a night at the movie theater…

* * *

As Johnny walked down the stairs in his torture cellar he thought about his day up to this point. He had actually been feeling pretty good, he had tortured some assholes, watched Scumby, and ate Skettio's. It had all really gone south when he attempted to go out for a brain freezy. In his disturbingly happy mood he had actually given into a bum's attempts to solicit money. In reality he had only really done this to see what the hobo would do with it, so imagine his anger when he saw the disheveled man walk right into a liquor store.

And that is what brought him to his present situation. Upon exiting the alcohol vendor the man found his booze torn from his hand just before Johnny bashed his head in with the bottle. The maniac had then drained the vagrant of all his blood while onlookers did what most people would do while witnessing a brutal murder. Nny grunted as he set the twin buckets of hobo-blood down in front of the wall. He then grabbed a paint brush and stared at the blood covered spiritual septic tank that he absolutely despised for a few moments.

After coating the wall in blood that was, in all likelihood, mostly cheap alcohol he began to notice a horrific rotting smell. While this was typical in the basement of horrors this particular smell seemed to be unusually close. He followed the smell into a deeper level, where he found the partially rotted body of a strait-jacketed woman. Clearly not getting any blood from her he grabbed the straps of the jacket and began dragging her towards the furnace of his house, where he would often dispose of bodies when he did not feel like going out.

After burning the body and pondering where all the smoke from the immense heating unit went he wandered around the house a bit before finding himself in the tunnel that lead to Squee's basement. Soon after he found himself sitting on the couch in the kid's basement just contemplating what to do. "Hey Nny, how about you try going out again?" Meat asked from the coffee table. "And what do you suggest I do?" the irate murderer asked of the ceramic statue. "Get the brain freezy you forgot about, look for Squee, see a movie" the statue rambled off some suggestions.

"I already found Squee, remember? He's living with Devi" the maniac sadly stated. "Well then that's a good thing!" the advice giving rabbits head stated. "And how exactly is that good?" the maniac turned to the floating cranium. "Well he was the one who suggested you apologize, and you have done some pretty crazy things in front of him, that would at least show you weren't in your right mind when you attacked" Nail Bunny elaborated. "Yeah! Well I've also killed in front of him to! So how is that going to help?" the crazed man rambled on as he grabbed the nearly forgotten laptop from under the table.

Johnny logged onto the computer, making a mental note to change the password, and searched for a theater's website. A few minutes of searching brought up the desired results, a list of all the movies playing ant The Cinema. After scrolling past romantic comedies, action movies, and a couple normal romance films he found the classic films that were being displayed that night. Eventually selecting "Psycho" he realized that he did not have much time to get there before the movie started, and thus fled out of the Casil's front door and into his garage.

Devi's POV

Devi sat on a bench staring at the latest cover art she had been assigned to do. "What's wrong? I think it looks pretty good" Sickness stated from her seat next to Devi. "What's wrong is it's not exactly original, or mine!" Devi complained as she turned to the doll. "It's original enough that they'll pay you for it" the doll pointed out. "That's not the point!" she half-shouted, not wanting to awake Squee. "Who cares? Now that it's done maybe you can get out of this tomb of an apartment" Sickness was particularly annoying tonight.

After a few minutes of angry glaring and contemplation Devi spoke. "If I go out, would you please just stay in here?" Devi did not expect what was coming next. "Mmmm….Okay!" Sicknesses answer came rather quickly. "Ummm…uh…what?" Devi was incredibly confused at the demon dolls sudden compliance. "I'll stay, I pwomise!" the doll purposefully mispronounced the last word for some odd reason. "Well, okay then…" unsure as to how to deal with this Devi just walked out of the studio and quietly snuck into the living room.

She stood for a while before her apartment door, unsure of what exactly to do, before remembering that The Cinema was having a showing of "Psycho". Hence she decided that in addition to her wanting to see that film, the dark theater would be a perfect place to hide from the cops.

Johnny's POV

He took his spot in the semi-darkened theater, taking care to keep away from other humans. For the few minutes before the film he sat there sipping on the brain freezy he had brought to the theater. As the lights dimmed he heard the theaters door open as one final straggler entered, not that he cared he just wanted to see the film. For the most part he was surprised, no one was attempting to disrupt his viewing experience. Taking this for granted he calmed as he watched the first portion of the film in relative peace.

_BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT!_

He glanced around the theater and eventually found that the sound was some guy's cell phone, the buzzing soon stopped and Nny slipped the blade he had taken out back into his boot. He, along with the other occupants soon found out that the buzzing had not stopped because he turned the phone off, but because he had answered it. "Yeah, yeah I'm at the theater now" the guy was attempting, and failing, to speak in a hushed voice.

"No that was sold out, yes I know you wanted to see it, but for some bizarre reason they wouldn't let me buy two tickets" the guys excuse was pathetic, it really was. He thankfully stopped talking for a while; however, his voice was replaced with that of the woman on the other end. "Oh, oh, come now, don't be like that!" the guy exclaimed as silently as he could. "Okay how about this, I will tell you what's going on….okay well here it goes" the guy ignored the groans emanating from the rest of the audience.

"Well, there's this chick, she's in the shower…..creepy shadow figure holding a knife" the man somehow did not feel the numerous sets of eyes attempting to bore into his soul. "What? No I can't see anything….though I wish I could….that was a joke honey, I swear" though he could not feel the murderous stares, Johnny was sure he would feel the very murderous dagger. However, at that moment a small hissing, like a lit fuse, could be heard coming from somewhere else in the theater just before a small light flew through the air and into the man's lap.

_POP!_

A small puff of smoke could be seen rising from the man's spot as he fell to the ground. After a few moments of angrily cursing at his excuses the dude's girlfriend broke up with him, and then mercifully hung up. The rest of the movie goer's completely ignored the man's meek agonized moans and went back to watching the film. Though happy that the disturbance was over, Johnny was rather sad that he had not ended it himself. His regret was quickly forgotten as he went back to watching the film.

Devi's POV

She just sat there, she had absolutely no clue how that firecracker had ended up in her pocket. She was, however, oddly happy that it was there, otherwise she would have had to listen to him throughout the entire film. She soon settled down and enjoyed the rest of the film in relative peace. When the film came to its conclusion she was actually fairly tired and thus decided to return to her apartment. She stopped off at the concession stand to purchase some form of unhealthy snack for the ride home and then headed for the parking lot.

As she walked closer to her car she soon began to feel as if she were being followed. Dismissing this as spooky doll induced paranoia she got into her mode of transportation and ignited the internal combustion engine. By the time she was approximately a block away from the theater she attempted to explain the fear as the silver pickup that was following the same route as her. She thus explained away the fear as the other vehicle turned down a different street. However, this security only lasted up until she exited the vehicle into her apartment complexes parking lot.

As she walked along the darkened driveways between rows of vacant vehicles her fear began to increase dramatically. "Who's there!" she shouted as she whirled around in the dark, holding a knife out before her, threatening the night. Backing up slowly she did not take her eyes off the blackness in front of her until she had halved the distance between the complex and herself. At which point she broke into an all-out sprint. She barged past the front desk, practically flew up the stairs, un-latched all the deadbolts on her door in under a second. Once inside she re-latched the deadbolts and flipped on the kitchen and living room lights, checking to make sure no one had invaded her house.

Johnny's POV

Johnny stood there, out in the parking lot, staring up at the lit window for several hours until it went out. He had no idea Devi was at the theater until he had spotted her leaving the same room that he had been in. In this matter he wished to thank whomever had brought firecrackers to the movies, they spared him killing in front of her, or worse. "Why the fuck am I here?" the killer contemplated out loud as he walked back to his cleverly hidden vehicle.

"Well it's probably the feelings you harbor for that girl" Rev. Meat pondered from the dashboard. "Mmyep, probably" the maniac stated rather bluntly as he started the car. "What? Now come back? No rant about not feeling emotion! Who are you! And what have you done with the real Johnny!" the ceramic statue joked as the pulled out of the parking lot.


	50. A Dark Comedy

**Chapter 50: A Dark Comedy**

* * *

"Hey Nny what's wrong? You haven't gone out in days" the ceramic fat boy asked from the table. Johnny, lying on the couch, turned over and stared at the figment for a few moments before answering. "I broke my promise" the maniac stated in a depressed voice. "What? That you wouldn't bother her? You had no idea she would be there!" Meat attempted to change the killers mind with vibrating air molecules. "Yeah! But then I followed her! She pulled a knife on me!" Nny was feeling a little more active, but not much.

"I don't see your problem with the knife, but it's not like she knew it was you so what's the problem" the preaching statue continued. "The problem is it still bothered her! Made her afraid! I said I wouldn't do that!" the killer now sat up on the couch. "You also stalked her before that idiot promise! And she had no idea you were there! Even when you talked to her in that elevator!" the statue was good at pulling up memories like that.

(A/N: I think that's him, in the elevator asking if she's going down, just after she quits Nerve in I Feel Sick #2. And in the first one, just before she flashes back to her conversation with Eric the vampire, Johnny's silhouette can be seen staring up at her window.)

"That's not the point! I must have caused her enough trouble when I left that Valentines Meat salesman's heart on her fucking door step!" Johnny was screaming at Meat now. The incredibly angry maniac jumped up off the couch and began to walk towards the kitchen. "I don't want to cause her any more problems! I don't want to hurt her!" he screeched as he turned towards his bedroom. When he reached that particular room he walked up to the mirror, Meat had already taken up his position on the box to the left of the reflective surface. "Hurt her! Ha! That's a laugh! Don't you remember the last time you tried that?" Meat stated, gesturing towards the mysteriously repaired object.

"BUT I CAN STILL HARM HER! IN THE HEAD! EMOTIONS AND THOUGHT MEATS!" the killer screamed as his eyes became oddly disproportionate. "And so what? you're just going to stop going out? What about Squee? You promised you'd help him!" Meat continued to poke at Johnny's feelings. "AND I FAILED! TWICE! BESIDES IF SHE CAN STOP ME FROM HARMING HER PHYSICALLY KEEPING SQUEEGEE SAFE SHOULD BE A WALK IN THE PARK!" the incredibly skinny man screeched as he grabbed a knife-filled backpack, his CD player, and ran out the door.

-Much Later-

He walked along the sidewalk through the city, angry, listening to classical music. When he reached the very outskirts of the cities heart he realized what he was doing. He was outside, in the city, his chances of accidently meeting Devi skyrocketing with every step. Panicking he entered the nearest establishment hoping that she would not choose that moment to appear. He was surprised to find that the establishment he had entered was in fact the Café Le Prick, rebuilt in his years of absence.

He took up residence in a chair in a relatively empty portion of the coffee house, observing as people bought caffeinated beverages from the proprietors. It seemed as though the population still had the memory of the horrific massacre from years ago as the place was fairly empty. Johnny needing some way to vent the anger he felt towards himself just sat there and waited for some unfortunate soul to trigger his asshole detecting gland. Not only could he see most of the restaurant he could also hear some of the conversations, but only one was of interest to him:

"Hey look it's that guy who don't smoke" one patron whispered

"I wonder how that pussy survived that mess four years ago?" another responded with a question.

"He probably ran like a baby the instant things got tough!" a third exclaimed.

Angry at himself for not having gotten these assholes in his original attack Johnny stood and prepared to attack, only for his organics to complain to him as he moved. Initially he was going to ignore this warning but then Rev. Meat butted in. "Really? You're going to ignore your body? Don't you remember the video Squee told you about?" the absent yet talkative statue exclaimed. "Yeah, pee-pee explosion would be bad" the killer mumbled, earning several disturbed looks from other customers.

When he reached the rest room he immediately headed for the privacy of the stalls. After he finished relieving himself he flushed and then jumped out of the stall to avoid any spray from the toilet. Once outside he discovered, to his horror, a man standing about 5 feet from the urinals, peeing. "Aw, hey there skinny dude why'd use a stall to take a piss? Afraid someone would see your needle dick?" the man said as his stream died and he turned to Johnny; fly still all the way down.

Disgusted by the disturbing display of piss and the exposure of the man's privates, Johnny, while averting his gaze angled around the man, grabbed him by the nape of the neck, and smashed his face into one of the bathroom mirrors. While he worked to drain the guy's blood into some of those transfusion bags he had stolen he began to hear screams coming from the normal part of the café. Stowing the few bags into the compartments not filled with razor sharp blades he ran back to see what was going on.

Once there he beheld the sight of one of the assholes whom had insulted him bleeding out on the floor in front of the counter. Meanwhile the one whom had called him a pussy for not smoking was getting stabbed repeatedly by some red haired assailant. "ALL I FUCKING WANTED WAS A GODDAMNED COFFEE! I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE HIT ON BY SOME SMELLY SHIT HEAD!" the woman screamed as she chopped off the man's hand which was still clutching a lighter.

"HEY! THAT GUY WAS AN ASSHOLE TO ME FIRST! I…UH…CALL HIM!" Johnny shouted at the woman whom dropped the now dead body and turned. Her face may have registered with him if not for the fact that it was mostly covered in blood and that he was too busy trying not to get stabbed to really take a look. The two murderers soon found themselves in an intense knife fight, while the rest of the customers could only look on with a mixture of fear and awe.

This was, however, mostly fear as one murder would dodge the others knife, allowing the sharp implement to slice through the flesh of a bystander. The two repeatedly tried to slice and stab each other, only to find each of their attempts blocked. Eventually one of these people stopped cringing in pants-shitting terror long enough to dial 911. Upon hearing the sirens the female killer distracted Johnny by tossing a cup of hot coffee at him and then ran out the door.

By the time he had overcome the agonizing burning sensation he was surrounded by cops. "PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" one of the officers screamed, the terror evident in his voice.

And then Nny killed them all.

* * *

**A/N:** Well here is one of those "serial killer vs. serial killer" showdowns I was talking about. The comedy part of the title is supposed to refer to the "finder's Keeper's" Nny attempts to pull.


	51. Bogeymen are Everywhere

**Chapter 51: Bogeymen are Everywhere**

**A/N**: This chapter is a chapter that is a chapter. Okay, just something I noticed while rereading Squee #3, did anyone else notice that Nny makes a cameo in "A Brief Friend"? He's in his car, about to run over some school children.

* * *

Squee's walking along the side walk. In the distance he spots the bus stop he has been assigned to, he also sees several children whom he was sure would make fun of him when he gets there. _"I think you should have brought a lighter!" _the bear silently comments from the backpack. "Oh Shmee, I keep telling you setting people on fire is wrong" the boy tries to explain to the Pyro-bear. _"You could always claim self-defense! They are trying to hurt you after all!"_ the bear says in defense of himself.

Squee looks up and sees the bus in the distance, not wanting to miss it he starts running. Then, as he passes an oddly dark alley something jumps out, grabs him, and then retreats into the darkness. He is then thrown roughly into a metal cage, getting back on his feet he looks out the cages barred door and finds two shadowy figures standing over him. The two figures step out of the shadows and reveal themselves to be men dressed as animal control officers.

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" the stouter of the two started. "I think iz a stray meng" the other says in an extremely stereotyped Mexican accent. "And what, my novice friend do we do with stray's?" the first asks. After a few moments of contemplation the somewhat dim witted and taller man responds. "We take to pound?" at this response the stout one looks at his companion in dismay and anger.

"For the last time you imbecile! We are not really animal control officers!" the guy gesticulated angrily. "Oh yeah…so what we gonna do wit'im?" the dimwit was very dimwitted. "We are going to bring him to the fun bus, now pick up the cage!" the much dumber individual did what he was told while talking to Squee. "Yous gonna like da' fun bus little guy, you really will" the idiot remarks only to be distracted by the sound of metal against bone. The idiot looks over to find his companion unconscious on the ground, an impact to the skull bleeding somewhat.

The slow minded individual takes a second to fully absorb this scene. And in that second, a certain skinny serial killer shoves a metal pipe strait through the man's chest. The man dropped the cage, clutched at the pipe which was now throbbing with the pulse of his own fading heartbeat, and the fell to the ground, dead. "Hiya Squeegee! Are you okay?" Nny asks the frightened child through the door of the small cage. "Ummm, I guess, could you unlock this cage? I have to go to school" the small child indicates the lock on the cages door.

"Oh yeah, of course" the killer mumbles as he carefully searches around for the keys. "Oh! Found'em!" the killer exclaimed as he pulled a comically massive set of keys from the smarter guy's belt loops. Fiddling with the absurdly large collection he selected one key and tried it. "Okay, well let's just see…nope…not it…no….damn" this continues for a few minutes before a yellow school bus passed by the alleyway.

Both characters watch as the bus pulls out of view, after a few moments of contemplation the killer shrugs and pulls out a wickedly sharp blade an rams it straight through the lock. "Well your definitely not getting to school on the bus…I could give you a ride" the maniac indicates a silver truck parked haphazardly across the street. Squee thought this over for a moment or two before nodding, considering a blood stained, stolen vehicle a better ride than a bus filled with stupid children, bullies, and possibly zombies.

Devi's POV

Devi walks along the empty, early morning side walk trying to think of something to do. Normally she'd be working at the 24/7, or working on some cover art. But this was one of her days off from the convenience store and her more art based employers had yet to send her a new assignment. And then there was her lack of a car, she had taken it in for a checkup and completely forgot about the horrific blood stains in the trunk. Thankfully the mechanic assumed that she had had a boyfriend that went hunting and made the mistake of putting the animal in the trunk.

Thus she found herself trudging along, on her feet, no vehicle, nothing to do. As she continued down the street the school bus that was meant to pick up Squee came rolling along. She immediately knew something was up when the vehicle was rather silent. Usually the other meaner occupants would try to startle him into unleashing his signature sound, others would just chant "Squeak!" there was no such noise this day.

She then began running towards the bus stop in order to investigate what had happened. But when she neared a certain alley way she nearly tripped over her own legs before practically leaping into the door of some store next to the alley. Emerging from the miniature side street was a certain skinny lunatic, some short unconscious animal control officer draped over his shoulder. Immediately behind him was Squee whom was staring at the unconscious form.

"Nny what are you going to do to him?" the small boy inquired. The killer whirled around, Devi tensed up afraid that she may be seen, however Johnny was more focused on Squee. "That's kind of a dumb question, you know what I do to people like this" the maniac attempts to point towards the mass on his shoulder. "But wouldn't Devi like it if you stopped killing?" the kid asked while Devi continues to eavesdrop.

"hmmmmmm, well I suppose so…." The killer appeared to think this over for a few moments. He then walked back into the alley just before a loud "thump!" could be heard. After he was done disposing of the unconscious body he and Squee crossed the road, and got into Nny's stolen and blood stained truck. The maniac the screeched across numerous lanes of traffic before finding the right one, all the while a faint Squee-ing could be heard.

When the vehicle was out of sight Devi exited the shop and entered the alley. "Hey why aren't you trying to stop Nny?" Sickness inquired. "Because Squee seems to trust him, and he stopped Johnny from killing this bastard" Devi remarks as she kicked the unconscious form. "Okay, so what are we going to do with him?" the demonic doll asked. Devi began to consider this deeply, not noticing that the man was beginning to regain consciousness

Pedophiles POV

"Ughuhhh….oh….wha?...OH MY GOD! PHILLIPE!" the man began screaming as he dragged himself over towards his dead friend. "That freak of a kid did this! I just know it!" he screeches, angrily shaking his fist at the air before running towards the alley's entrance. But before he could reach it he trips over someones foot. Looking over his shoulder he finds that the boot was connected to a rather angry looking, crimson haired woman wearing a purple shirt marked with a circular insignia with a strait portion meandering downward.

"Oh hello madam, you would happen to have seen a small child run out of this alley would you?" he questioned of the silent woman. "You see I am a truant officer and he is a repetitive offender" the woman remains silent for a few more moments. "You are wearing an animal control uniform" the woman points out. "Yes well, this is a disguise you see…" he honestly hoped she would buy it. "It doesn't matter, another…friend of the kid has already taken him to school" the woman stated.

"Wait! You know that little demon!" he was panicking at this point, his thoughts drifted towards the lifeless corpse further down the alley. "Of course I know him!...I have only been taking care of him for the last month or so" she talked as she calmly walked in-between him and the street. "So that leads me to ask what were you planning on doing to him?" she leaned down extremely close to the fallen man's face. Thinking that he could easily over power the anorexic looking female, he haughtily boasted his devious plans.

"Oh don't worry madam, we weren't gonna violate him or nothing" he sarcastically started as he got to his feet. "We were just gonna sell him to the highest bidder, so they could do all the nasty stuff to him" the man began a disturbing pedophile laugh, which was promptly cut short as the woman shoved him deeper into the alleyway. He felt himself slammed against the wall of the somewhat confined space moments before a searing pain shot through his wrist. He looked over to find a rather large knife rammed through the joint, pinning the appendage to the wall. Another pain shot through his left wrist, once he was fully able to understand what was happening he attempted to scream.

The sound was cut short as the woman cuffed her hand over his mouth. He at first considered biting her, but she was crushing down with such force that he could feel her nails dig into his face-meat, while his jaw and cheek bones crackled like wood. After a few moments of crushing pain, her grip lessened slightly, and through the rushing blood in his ears he could hear her talking. "Of course I'm not going to let him live!" she exclaimed to someone. He frantically looked for her companion, hoping for some form of mercy. However, the extremely messed up look that overcame her visage, along with the pain surging through his gut as she sliced it open lead the now dying man to believe that she was, in fact, crazy.


	52. Meanwhile!

**Chapter 52: Meanwhile!**

**A/N**: Well here is my second Meanwhile story. This will all occur as if it is a video conference, because well, it pretty much is.

* * *

A computer screen turns on revealing a symbol that appears to be a mechanical eyeball. After a few moments this fades, revealing a list of "Local Agents". A cursor moves around the screen for a few moments before selecting one of the agents.

Mothman-"This is agent Mothman, I have a fantastic opportunity to expose the alien! Someone respond!"

Darkbootie—"Well I would love to help you Agent Mothman, buuuttt, uh, the coffee machine just exploded and I have to clean it up"-

Moth man—"but the oppprtunity isn't for a whole week"-he attempted to explain.

Darkbootie-"Oh, weeeellll, the coffee sort of mixed with some rocket fuel so it's gonna be a lot harder to get the stain out. I'll probably be trapped in here for no less than two weeks"-he then signed off leaving moth man to annoy someone else.

Moth man-"okaaayyyy then, Agent Tunaghost! Tell me you're free to help!"-the silhouette can be seen on the screen for a few moments before disappearing. Visibly disheartened by this Moth man still continues.

Moth man-"Agent DisembodiedHead! I know I've annoyed you in the past but if you'll just help me this one time you'll be able to see the alien first hand"-he spoke quickly to be avoid being hung up on. The silhouette of a man with a bird on his shoulder simply stares at him for a few moments before the bird flies off.

Moth man-"Hey, where'd your bird go?"-at this moment a cyborg hawk-parrot smashes through Moth man's window and begins clawing and pecking at his face. After a few moments of cowering in terror he reaches out grabs the bird by the neck and tosses it out the window. He then activates some form of storm sheltering which covers the windows.

Moth man-"Agent Nessie? I don't suppose you happen to be free a week from now?"-he only had two options left, and he needed some help for this mission.

Nessie-"What's the matter Moth man? Need help eating some waffles? Or does Bigfoot need to borrow a power drill?"-Moth man cringed as he was made fun of.

Nessie-"no wait! You want to pick on that weird foreign exchange student don't ya?"-Nessie then began to laugh hysterically at moth man's apparent insanity before hanging up.

Dejected, moth man directed his mouse so that the cursor on the screen moved towards name of the only agent close enough to help him.

Moth man-"Agent Evil Dolly, I don't suppose you happen to be free a week from now?"-he asked of the networks newest member to live in his area. After a few moments of nothing a silhouette with two pairs of antenna-like pig tails for a hairdo appeared.

Evil Dolly-"Awww that's really sweet Moth man, but every guy I go on a date with ends up either dead, in the emergency room, or in a coma. Besides I'm practically twice your age"-this agent was particularly sarcastic about it all.

Moth man-"That's not what I meant! So are you free?"-he asked of the female agent.

Evil Dolly-"listen, you obviously haven't heard. But I only joined the network to learn how to destroy possessed toy-painting-thingies, and to get my friend off my back about being anti-social"-the somewhat irate woman explains.

Evil Dolly-"So unless your little plans involve a magical trash compactor or a rocket aimed directly at the sun…I don't care."-she stated rather bluntly.

Moth man-"Well the alien may have a few spaceships you could use"-he hoped to entice her into helping him.

Evil Dolly-"…okay, I am listening, maybe I can get some entertainment from this" the last part was said under her breath so he didn't hear it.

Moth man-"Well, next Wednesday the alien menace will be distracted trying to convince the school teachers and children that he is normal" Moth man pulled up a picture of a bizarre green house. "While he is distracted with that, you should be able to break into his base, it looks like a normal house, but there is a hole massive alien base beneath it" next came a picture of a green dog next to a robot. "This is his guard dog-robot, it shouldn't be much of a threat, just give it some taco's or something" he paused to see what she thought.

Evil Dolly-"Okaayyy, and if it turns out that this is just a normal kid with a skin condition, I'll end up getting arrested for breaking and entering"-She easily shot down his plan. Mere moments after she finished talking a doll-like silhouette landed on her head. "Hey mother, who's your friend there—oh sweet zombie Jesus! Look at the head on that one!" the doll entity screamed as it pointed at Moth man's cranium. "Seriously! Look at it! It looks like it's about to implode like a black hole!" Evil Dolly then grabbed the doll off her head.

Mothman-"My heads not big"-he stated meekly as she began screaming at the doll.

Evil Dolly-"How many times do I have to fucking lock you up before you fucking stay!" she shook and squeezed the entity. Soon some sort of bizarre struggle began that ended with the camera being launched through the door. It came to rest in the middle of a hallway, where the image of Tenna and Squee eating spaghetti-o's is transmitted before it lost power.

* * *

**A/N:** Well this was an interesting chapter now wasn't it! A pretty good lead in to the Parent teacher Night one(s) that will be coming up shortly.


	53. Some More Speculation

**Book 6**

**Cover: A graveyard**

**Chapter 53: Some More Speculation**

**A/N:** this chapter is almost like a "Meanwhile!" in nature. Save for the fact that it has much more to do with the main story than normal. It shalt consist of those TV people from "An "Oh Shit" Moment" discussing stuff that is serial killer in nature.

* * *

A news station-type opening begins, the jaunty music plays while various computer-generated shapes come together to form the stations logo. All while this is going on the sound of something devouring donuts can be heard. Once this sequence is done the scene fades to several people sitting at an interview table.

The head reporter is a smartly, and expensively dressed woman holding what appear to be cue cards, while she attempts to convince someone off screen to get her something. The VCPD police chief is just laying into a box of donuts while another officer stands by holding another. SA Fowl is just sitting there, looking shittier than his last appearance; his face holds nothing but disdain for the obese man next to him. The seventy-year old psychic is probably the most normal person on the panel.

Head Reporter(HRp)—"Well Channel Three viewers, I would like to introduce a new segment today. The panel you see before me" she paused to motion to the group. "Will take an hour every night to discuss the latest developments in regards to our cities torment" with that she stopped and indicated for one of the others to start talking.

Krapfen (Police Chief [Kr])—"(donut munching sounds, swallowing) Well madam, we at the VCPD have, like always, been trying our best to capture the killer" the extra officer sets a new donut box before him, and goes off to buy more. "However, with this second killer in town we just can't seem to get a break" he then wormed his way into the new box.

HRp—"Okay, and we thank you for trying. Now do you mind telling us what happened at the Café le Prick?" she asked while straitening up her pile of cards.

Kr—"Well, like that disrespectful young lad that called during that first interview it appears that the killer's do not like each other" he paused to suck the jelly out of a donut like some sort of cholesterol impaired vampire. "In fact the few survivor's say that the male killer even tried to pull a "Finders Keeper's" on one of the victims" he attempts to do some air quotes but this only succeeds in making himself look like some disproportionate T-rex.

Kr—"Which reminds me, Agent Fowl, what you think of that guy's suggestion of a final showdown?" the semi-intelligent question surprised the F.B.I. agent.

Fowl—"ummmm, well it's hard to say…I suppose that's definitely in the cards…but so is the two teaming up" all in the room tensed up at that thought.

HRp—"Okay well, on another note, Mrs. Bueller?" the reporter indicated it was the psychics turn.

Bueller (Br)—"Yes?"

HRp—"Well, first of all we would all like to apologize for laughing at you during the first interview" she paused as mumbled apologies filtered through from the cast and crew. "Second is we would like to know if you picked up anything from the café or alleyway scene's"

Br—"Well I have to tell you, it's very strange. At the café I got the sense of some sort of emotional connection between the two" seeing the others reactions she elaborated. "It wasn't like they were about to team up, more like an old connection that was broken for some reason"

Kr—"That is quite strange (donut munching), what did you get from the alleyway?" he asked as he finished his second box the other officer bringing a third forth.

Br—"that was even more bizarre! From the vibe I got it appears that the male killer took out the taller victim, while the female murderer got to the shorter fellow. Again it wasn't like they were teaming up, it actually appears that the male left before the second killing" she paused to remember what she had felt at the site of the massacre.

Br—"also, there was a third person there, a child that the two victims were attempting to kidnap" she paused to concentrate on the reading. "I got the feeling that both killers care for the kid on some level" the rest of the panel stared over at her.

HRp—"Well that definitely is interesting, well when we come back from this commercial break we will be discussing this with some callers" the reporter smiled a fake looking smile as the view faded out.

Taco Smell, McDowell's, Reality shows, and sitcom commercials

HRp—"Well we are back, and there are several callers that wish to have their opinions known. So, caller number one, what do you think?"

Caller 1—"I think you shoulda listened when I suggested the whole showdown thing the last time" the caller sounded vaguely drunk

Kr—"Well sorry at the time there was nothing to suggest that could happen" he stated as a forth box was placed before him.

Caller 1—"Nothing to suggest!? Of course there's nothing to suggest that! You probably ate all the evidence along with your goddamned donuts!" he was about to say something more when a commotion could be heard in the background, an argument between the caller and someone else could vaguely be heard.

Caller 1—"Hey! Watch where you're going!...I don't give a *bleep* about your stupid brain freezy you skinny faggot!" someone screaming could be heard in the background. "Calm down you freak! It just a stupid…AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a scream of agony filled the studio.

Kr—"Ummmm, I have to go now" the fat man said as he and the other officers exited the room.

HRp—"Well, Special Agent Fowl, Mrs. Bueller, do you have anything to add?" the reporter asked of her remaining guests.

Br—"Not really, the killer obviously loves these brainfreezy things, have the police tried anything with that?" The psychic was overwhelmed by the murder she just over heard, and is visibly nervous.

Fowl—"Yes they have tried stakeouts, undercover cops, plain clothes cops, the whole works" the special agent makes some hand motions to accompany his words. "Every single time ends the exact same way, with the cops getting killed"

HRp—"Oh dear! That's horrible! Caller number two, do you have anything to add?"

Caller 2—"No, I actually have a question for Mrs. Bueller" the caller paused for dramatic effect. "During that first broadcast, when they were laughing at you about the Deca-Killer's non-existent children, you had this really weird look on your face, could you explain that?" the psychic was made nervous by this inquiry.

Br—"Well…ummmm…that look was because…uh…thirty-some years ago…I got the vibe that the Deca-Killer actually had children…" at this statement everyone watching gasped in horror, the sound could almost be heard inside the studio*.

Caller 2—"How could that insane *bleep*wad have children!? And what kind of *Bleep* would actually reproduce with him!?" he voiced the opinion of everyone involved.

Fowl—"Well you have to remember, we never had a picture of his face…not even a horribly inaccurate police sketch. So it's entirely conceivable that he could interact with someone on that level and the other would not be aware of whom he was" Fowl was nervously glancing over at Bueller

Fowl—"But I have to ask. If you got this freakish vibe, why did you not tell anyone?"

Br—"Because…at the time…I thought it was my gift failing me…" at the end of that statement she tilted her head in a manner that said to anyone who knew her well enough that she was lying.

Caller 2—"HA! You pathetic bitch! Everyone already thinks you're crazy! Telling them would have only spared all the people DK's son has killed. As far as I am concerned you are just as responsible for the victims as he is!" the caller hangs up and the shows Director decides to end the show early.

* * *

A/N: See! I told you this chapter has almost nothing to do with the main comic! Except for Johnny killing over the phone.


	54. Tuesday After Skool

**Chapter 54: Tuesday after Skool**

**A/N:** this chapter has a massive intersection of JtHM and Invader Zim characters. It will hopefully end up as a rather humorous chapter.

* * *

Squee walked along the side walk, he wasn't worried about getting captured again, the news said both guy's had died. In addition to that, on this trek back to his current place of residence he was no longer alone. With him walked several of the humanoid entities he considers friends. Among them were the antichrist, an impossibly scary girl, and a large-headed paranormal investigator.

"Are you **sure** you didn't see any possessed dolls?" Dib asked for the hundredth time today. "Positive, the camera just flew through the door and then she came out and grabbed it" Squee was slightly frustrated with scythe-haired boys incessant question asking. "Oh because I'm pretty sure I saw some sort of living doll thing" Dib pondered to himself. "Maybe she was just messing with you" Gaz blandly stated as she played her game slave.

They all considered this as they continued their trek towards the more residential area of town. "So how are you all looking forward to Parent Teacher Night?" Pepito inquired of his group of friends. "I'm pretty happy; though I won't get evidence from his house I can still expose his roboparents" Dib enthusiastically exclaimed, Gaz's only reaction was to shrug. After those two were finished the whole group looked nervously at the only member that lacked parental units.

"I think it'll be an interesting night" the parentless child stated meekly. The now nervous group continued to trudge along through the city. Just before they entered the more residential area they approached several of the last stores in this area. Including a CD Cesspool, from which emanated a series of horrific screams followed by blood spattering across the windows.

The group's reactions to witnessing this horror were mixed at best. Dib recoiled in horror, Gaz continued to play her game, and Pepito charged up his face melting fist lasers. Squee meanwhile felt his heart race and his mind, and shmee, urging him to run. After a few seconds the door opened and out stepped everyone's favorite mass murdering serial-spree killer, who was drenched in the blood of his latest kill(s).

"Oh hi Squeegee!" the murder bounded up to the group, waving enthusiastically to his former neighbor. "Hey! Who are your little friends here?" the maniac inquired as he looked upon the small group. "Hey you're that guy who broke into my house!" the Pepito exclaimed. "Yeah…I remember that house, and that dog…DID THE DOG SEND YOU!?" the killer exclaimed as he pointed a large dagger accusingly at the anti-Christ.

"Umm…no" was the kid's nervous response. "Well okay then…" the maniac calmed as he walked over to inspect Gaz. He bent down to see what game she was playing and blocked her light in the process. In response to this she opened her eye's wide enough for him to see her pupils, and the normally unstoppable killer leaped backwards in pure fear, tripping over Dib in the process.

"Whoa! Lookit that massive head o'yers! I betcha got martians in there, give me dem little martians!" the killer exclaimed as he reached for the kids head. "Wait! You're the guy who's been killing all those people aren't you?" Dib screamed while pointing at Johnny, and jumping away from the murderers grip at the same time. "Yep! But keep your voice down! No use in screaming! I never get caught! NEVER!" the last word was screamed to the heavens with duel fists raised to the sky.

"Hello? P-police? Yeah this is Dib Membrane, I…uh…have the Killer here with me at the CD Cesspool" All of the characters looked at the cellphone wielding pre-teen in surprise. Soon enough a cop car came racing down the street and parked along the curb, to officers getting out as it stopped. "Okay kid! Where's the killer!?" the younger cop exclaimed while the older one looked upon Dib with disdain. "There!" was Dibs only response as he pointed at Nny. The cops looked at Nny, then at Dib, then back at Nny, and then glanced at each other before they began to laugh.

And Laugh.

And Laugh.

They laughed so hard their sides hurt.

They laughed with such ferocity that the whole group began to back away nervously.

"Okay you little delinquent!" the senior officer shouted at Dib. "I can understand all that stuff about Bigfoot and such, but this is real, serious!" He yelled as his younger partner just stood around being useless. "This is serious! Look at that store!" Dib attempted to point at the store and failed. The younger officer examined the stains, but could not see the bodies from the window.

"Well from the looks of it this is just to advertise that band that just released an album with songs about obituaries and a demon carnival" the young man concluded after a few moments. "See! And just look at your "killer" he's so skinny, frail even!" the older officer then turned towards Nny and looked the blood covered man over one last time. "I bet you couldn't even kill an uncooked noodle with a spork!" the officer exclaimed as he held up one of Nny's arms by the wrist.

"Kid look at this guy! does he seem threatening to you?" the younger officer says as he holds Dib up to Nny's face. "He's not a threat! even a ninety pound nerd could take him out!" the older officer looks past the group and finds an thin looking teen emerging from the CD Cesspoll. "hey kid come over here I need you to test something!" the kid walks over to the cop, who then points at Nny. "I need you to go push that guy over" the officer says commandingly.

The blood covered nerd takes one look at Nny and then screams while running as fast as his skinny nerd-legs can possibly carry him. The senior cop mumbles something about civilians freaking out over small things and showing dib that the skinny adult he's accused of being a serial killer isn't a threat to anyone. Accordingly the cop then shoves Nny hard enough that the skinny maniac falls over talking the younger officer and Dib down with him.

"See Dib I told you that guy wasn't a threat!" the cop says between bouts of laughter. As the younger officer gets to his feet Nny cannot help but think about how this whole situation came from him simply wanting to get away from the assholes in his basement. As his anger rises Nny's right hand begins twitching for the feel of a knife, to Nnys surprise he actually gets something. Taking advantage of this Nny jumps up and takes a swipe at the younger officer, nearly taking the young man's head off and drenching the sidewalk in blood.

Nny turns to find the senior officer struggling to get his gun out of his holster. Nny makes several wild lunges at the man who manages to jump back enough to only receive some large flesh wounds across his chest. The officer then makes a lunge for his car, possibly to call backup, but Nny responds to this by bring the blade of his weapon down on the officers shoulder. He uses this to his advantage an pulls the officer toward him, grips the hair on the back of the guys head in his free hand and then smashes his face into one of the door windows.

As Johnny's anger subsides, he turns back to the group of children he had previously been talking too. Squee has a look of horror on his face, Pepito looks as if he's trying to figure out what just happened and Gaz is still playing her GameSlave. "Hey weren't there four of you before?" Pepito just nods and Squee directs his horror towards Nny's right hand. the maniac looks at his hand to find Dib dangling from it by his left leg. "Whoops! sorry about that kid" Nny then carefully flips Dib over and sets his feet on the ground. .Dib just sort of stands there swaying back and forth with his scythe-cowlick matted down with blood.

"So, Squeegee, um, I could give you and your friends a ride home if you like, and if their okay with that" After the two agreed they made their way to Johnny's silver (stolen) pickup. They walk around the corner to find the vehicle, Nny places the catatonic Dib in the back seat and he just flops over. Gaz gets in after him and pushes the limp body over to the other side of the truck, Pepito gets in after her and Squee occupies the front passenger seat. They drop Pepito off at his home and Gaz drags Dib along the walkway leading to theirs, leaving him on the stoop, Nny and Squee then proceed towards Devi's Apartment complex.

"Why did you kill that second guy?" Squee asks after a few minutes, he was worriedly looking at the killer. "I did not! I left him in that alley and did not pay him a second thought!" the killer exclaims, but sees that Squee was not convinced. "Oh come on! You saw that panel-thingy didn't you?" he asks, his nerves over approaching Devi's place of residence steadily increasing. "That vaguely familiar psychic lady said I left before he died! And that's what happened" he attempts to explain as his anxiety grew and his driving became more erratic.

"And then the cops with their forensic mumbo-jumbo said the girly killer did that guy!" his anxiety was now mixed with anger over the few kill's he'd lost to her. "I still have no fucking clue who that girl is!" he screams as he ran a red light and smashed through the fence that surrounded Devi's parking lot. "Whoopsie! Well Squeegee this is your stop!" he reaches over and opened the door for the shocked child, who then hops out and runs to the front entrance of the building.

Once he was in the door Squee began the rehearsed trek up the flights of stairs that lead to their third floor room. As he trudged by the door that opened onto the second floor he overheard a commotion coming from the hallway. To satisfy his curiosity he opened the door and saw several cops and CSI's pulling a body-bag covered gurney from the apartment of the weird guy whom had bothered Devi and him on numerous occasions. Closing the door behind him he continued up to the third floor.

He enters the now familiar apartment and sest his back pack down next to the door. He walks into the living room and finds Devi sprawled out on the couch, speckled in what appeared to be red paint. "Devi?" he meekly asks as he nudges the sleeping woman a few times. "Uh? Wha?...Oh hey Squee" She mumbles as she wakes up. "Remember its Parent Teacher Night tonight" Squee remindes her as he walks to the kitchen to get an after school snack. "Oh yeah…thanks for the reminder" Devi states in her half-awake state as she walks into her studio.

* * *

A/N: woowhooooo! Ain't this just an eventful chapter? I bet you can't wait to see the madness that will be Parent Teacher Night!


	55. Parent Teacher Night: Part I

**Chapter 55: Parent Teacher Night: Part I**

**A/N:** I wish I could come up with a more original title, I really do….

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Devi navigated her newly tuned up car through a particularly rich looking portion of town. She had memorized the directions to the location of the conference but found she did not need them as the house was surrounded by numerous other cars and therefore, easily spotted. As she searched around for a place to park she occasionally looked over at the passenger seat, which was occupied by Squee. Soon enough they had found an appropriate parking space, however it was about as far away from the house as could possibly be, hence they began their trek.

When they were about halfway to their destination Devi began to speak. "So why exactly did you want to attend this thing?" she asked as they navigated around a few large trucks, not getting an immediate answer, she tried again. "You don't seem to like school that much, so I'm just a little curious as to why you wanted to come here" she attempted to make her curiosity known. "Ummm…..wellllll…..I never really came to one of these before…" the nervous little trauma magnet explained to his state-appointed caretaker. "Oh I see….wait, what do you mean by "never really"?" Devi asked as they finally found the driveway of the house.

"Nny tried coming to one just before I got thrown into the crazy house" the kid reluctantly explained to his crimson haired guardian. "Oh…and how did that turnout?" she asked out of a somewhat innocent curiosity. As if to answer her,a random kid spots Squee, a look of horror overcomes him, and he points Squee out to his mother; the mother looks on for a few moments and finds Squee among the mass of cars. As soon as she finds the kid she screams, picks up her child and runs away as fast as she could.

"Oh…that bad huh?" she asked Todd as they reached the front door of the massive house. Ringing the doorbell they had to wait a few moments before a purple haired girl opened the door. "Oh good some more guests" the girl stated in a very bored, slightly British sounding voice. "The sign in sheet is in the antechamber" the girl stated as she pointed towards one end of the room. "After that you can go to the dining room for some food, and then to the back yard, conferences are being held under the tents" the girl blandly explained before ascending up a flight of stairs.

They walk into the room that they both assumed to be the antechamber and found a somewhat chubby man asleep behind a table. On top of the table there actually was a sign in sheet, onto which they signed their names and some other information. Immediately after this minor exchange of information they walked into the kitchen and grabbed some food, all of which is provided by the Delishus Weenie Corporation. After swallowing their meal they walk out into the back yard and wander around under the large circus-like tent, searching for Squee's teacher.

After a few minutes of wandering around the grounds they eventually found the desk that held the spooky teacher. Not that it was exactly the hardest to find, it was the only one surrounded by children and parents alike curled up into the fetal position muttering the word 'doom' over and over again. "Next!" the old croon exclaimed as another parent-child pair stumbled away, their faces painted with bleak despair. "Oh Todd, it's you and your…?" the evil teacher trailed off, waiting for an answer. "Guardian" Devi answered the old hag.

"Well then, we should get started" the hag stated as she spread some papers in front of the pair. Devi looked at them and found that they all had relatively good grades on them. "As you can see Todd is doing much better that the rest of the useless meat-sacks that make up the student body; do you know what that means?" Ms. Bitters continued in her usual doom-y voice. "Um…he'll eventually get into some impossibly fancy college and not turn into some out of shape janitor or something like that?" Devi answered as she looked through the numerous tests and homework assignments.

"No" the hag stated rather bluntly. "It means that little Todd here is doomed to be the laughing stock of the student body" the hag continued while pointing at Squee. This speak of doom and bullying continued for a while, Devi began to feel that this woman should not be teaching. "...and that is why being intelligent can only lead to a horrific life of pain and misery" the end of the woman's bleak speech brought Devi out of her daze. The pair of humans got up from their seated positions as Bitters called forth her next set of victims.

Devi and Squee wander back over to the porch of the immense house that served as a venue for the conferences. They sit there, trying to overcome the feelings of doom and despair, for more than a few minutes. They were soon able to do so, and unable to decide exactly what to do next, continued to sit there and do nothing. "Hello Squee!" the pair look up to find Dib, his scary little sister, and what looked like a floating television monitor.

"Hey Dib…um, why is your dad a flying monitor?" The small child asked. "Oh…He's too busy to actually attend so he's broadcasting from his lab" the paranormal investigator explained. At this moment the monitor turns towards the pair and examines them a little before the man on the other end begins to speak. "Hello you must be the terrified classmate my children have told me about" the lab coated man stated, getting a nod in response. "Okay then, and you must be-" he was cut off by someone on his end speaking.

He at first waved the man off, stating that he could go ahead with the experiment, but after a few moments of trying to get back on his original train of thought he turned back to the other scientist. "Wait! That machines not ready yet!" he screamed dramatically reaching for an emergency cut off lever. Then the screen flashed white before turning to snow, off in the distance a mushroom cloud could be seen rising above the city.

"Ummm…is your dad going to be alright?" Devi asked as the monitor fell to the ground. Gaz, whom to this point had said nothing took her eyes off her game slave long enough to make a comment. "He'll be fine, he does that every year to get out of Parent Teacher Night" she then went back to playing whatever pig and vampire based video game she was playing. "Okayyyy then…." Devi looked nervously around at the other parents for a few moments. "Hey, can Squee hang out with us?" Dib questioned as Pepito came up to join the group.

"Yeah sure" Devi responds after she looks down at Todd, who indicates that he wants to go. Watching the group walk off, discussing what they would do, Devi found herself a little overwhelmed with the whole situation. 'This is all just so very strange' she thought to herself as she navigated back to the dining room, hoping to procure some soda for her parched mouth. _"I think it's sweet, you helping this kid and all that"_ Sickness finally made an appearance in the form of a voice only she could hear. "You're only saying that because of the boy's connection to Nny" she responds in a hushed tone that few around her could hear.

"_So what!? it's still kind of nice…"_ the head voice trailed off as Devi filled up a cup with soda. She stood there in the dining room for a few minutes, thinking inwardly and all that jazz, all while sipping soda. Soon, however, a commotion broke out in the antechamber and with nothing to do she went to investigate. She only manages to get to the door of the dining room as in the opposite direction came running a somewhat chubby woman. "No pokey my head! No pokey my head!" the panicked woman screamed while clutching her head and sobbing; soon after a man and boy followed also in a panic.

Devi then cautiously enters the type of room she had never heard of before and beheld a bizarre sight. Zim was standing in front of the now awake sign-in person, flanking him were two entities. One vaguely resembled a sitcom father figure with a pipe in his mouth, the other was an odd looking woman dressed in overalls and a tutu, and both were clearly not human. Presiding over this bizarre scene was the blue haired girl from earlier trying to hold back the flow of hysterical laughter at the whole scene.

"This is our boy Zim" the male robot proudly states as he places his arm around the green boy's shoulder. The man behind the desk stared blankly at the trio before looking through the Skool attendance sheets. "I wonder what wondrous things your teacher has to say today" the female robot bizarrely says as each of its eye's stared off into two different directions. The man stared dumbfounded between the signature, the attendance list, and the trio before waving them through.

"Excuse me ma'am?" Devi had been startled by the shear failure of fake parents the alien was using that she didn't register them walking toward her until the dad spoke up. "You are blocking the door" the robot pointed out using his squeezing arm. "Server-Hyuman! Did you not hear the wonderful Zim's Parental units!?" the green humanoid screeches while Sickness chants for her to kick the small false invader.

So she did, and the force of the kick sent the small entity flying into the foyer window. "Hey! You can't do that to our son!" the motherly robot exclaimed after staring back at Zim for a few seconds. "He's the greatest Irken that ever lived!" the female robot continued after what appeared to be a serious malfunction. "Yeah well he was definitely irking me!" Devi dryly exclaimed as she attempted to leave, but was stopped by a robotic arm gripping her shoulder. "You can't just kick him and leave like this!" the robot began to explain as some sparks flew off of the limb. "He's all green and great and if you don't apologize for injuring his superiority he will get angry" the automaton leaned in uncomfortably close to Devi following these words. "You won't like him when he's angry" the robot finished as an evil-flashlight-under-your-chin effect overcame him.

Devi then pulled out a hunting knife she had recently procured from some dead hunter-type guy and hacked off the arm the robot was using to detain her. "NOOOoooo! Not again! They took it again! My squeezing arm!" the faulty robot continued to sob as he collapsed on the ground. After a few moments of observing this spectacle Devi ended it by decapitating the robotic parental unit impostor. At this sight the robots fem-bot companion went on the attack and began trying to poke Devi's head. The robot found that it's poking abilities where severely limited by its sudden lack of hands and soon Devi had destroyed a majority of its inner workings through repeated stab wounds.

The sign-in dude only looked on with tired horror at the scene, which was now covered in alien motor oil. Soon enough he began to scream about murder at the top of his lungs. Devi, in a panic ran back outside and blended into the crowd that came to investigate the screams.


	56. Parent Teacher Night: Part II

**Chapter 56: Parent Teacher Night: Part II**

**A/N:** Heeheehee! This chapter has words in it! And do you know what those words say? Read and find out!

* * *

Squee was walking along the perimeter of the giant tent that the school was using for parent teacher night. Walking just ahead of him were the few people he actually considered friends. "Why do you keep looking into the tent?" Pepito asks Dib, who was at this moment glancing into the large structure. "I am trying to find Zim" the paranoid paranormal investigator absentmindedly replies. "Why are you so obsessed with that guy?" the antichrist inquired. "Because he's an alien menace bent on concurring our planet!" the large headed boy loudly shouts, drawing glances from passerbys.

"Oh that…I was worried you were just having some sort of stalker-like obsession over his 'skin condition'" Pepito rambled as Dib started to look back towards the tent. However, as the antichrist's words registered in the boy's oversized brain he turned back and began to shout. "You know!?" he exclaims, the outburst causing Pepito to stumble backwards a bit. "Why didn't you say anything!?" he screeches at the demon boy. "I have been trying to tell people for the past year! No one listens to me! But they at least sort of listen to you! Why didn't you say anything!?" it takes Pepito a few moments to compose himself after the outburst.

"Well if he really was from some super advanced alien race wouldn't he have conquered the planet by now!?" Pepito shouted back after a dramatic pause. "He hasn't won yet because I always try to stop him!" Dib angrily gestured at the antichrist. "And then Tak comes along trying to steal Earth from Zim and I have to thwart both of them now!" he gestured angrily at the large house behind them. "I need all the help I can get and you hold back on telling them! Why!?" Dib paused and waited for Pepito's answer.

"Really Tak an alien? I can understand Zim with his idiotic disguise but Tak looks like every other human" the antichrist attempted to redirect the conversation. "She's using some sort of hologram thing to disguise herself!" he screams as he grabbs Pepito's and Squee's sleeves and begins dragging them towards the house. "Hey what are you doing?" Squee protests as he was dragged along by the oddly strong boy. "I am going to show you that Tak is an alien!" he continued to drag the pair along until they enter the garage.

"I don't see anything alien in here" Squee comments as Dib begins to rummage through the garage. "That's because the base is underground" Dib pointed at the floor to make his point. "If the base is underground wouldn't make more sense to look for the entrance out in the massive yard?" Squee asks as Pepito nods in agreement. "Normally yes, but I looked up the blue prints for this house and this garage was recently rebuilt" Dib rambled on about conspiracies and odd building materials.

After a few minutes of finding nothing a commotion could be heard from within the house, along with some hysterical screaming. Entering the kitchen through the garage door the find a large crowd gathering near the antechamber, they then began making their way through this throng. On the other side they were greeted with the horrific sight of Zim's horrifically mutilated roboparents, and Zim being 'consoled' by the new skool counselor. "There, there Zim, they're in a better place now" the counselor said as he patted Zim on the back.

The alien faked a few sobs while the on looking crowd released a sound of pity upon the boy. "Oh come on! You can't actually believe those were his real parents!" Dib exclaims from the entrance to the antechamber. Despite Pepito and Squee's best efforts the raving investigator was able to break out of their grip and run into the room. "Look at this!" he shouted as he pointed to some of the red tinted motor oil spattered on the walls. "This isn't blood! This is motor oil! Those weren't real parents! Those were alien robots! why can't any of you people see through this pathetic disguise!?" Pepito and Squee continue to try and stop Dib throughout his entire tirade.

At the end of this speech Zim fakes some more sobs and the Conselor grabs Dib and threw him into the foyer. Pepito and Squee follow their apparently insane friend into the room and the counselor shut the door behind the trio. "See! That is why I need help getting people to believe!" Dib stated as he got up off his back. "Well if you've stopped him by yourself before, why do you need people to believe?" Squee asked the obvious question in this situation. "Because there have been a few times where I have almost lost and I'd be famous! people would know I was right all along and stop making fun of me" Dib answered back as he ascends the stairs.

"Now where are you going?" Pepito asks as Dib reaches the top of the stairway. "I'm sure Tak also has an entrance to her base in her room" Dib states as he stood there and waits for his companions to ascend the stairs along with him. The pair soon gave up and climb the stairs to meet with their investigative friend as he searched for the door that held Tak's room. After a few minutes of searching for it they did indeed find the room they were looking for. The entered the room, unlike Zim's house it was not a hodge-podge of random bits of earth culture. Then again it was exactly what you'd expect a child's room to look like, there was only a bed, dresser, and desk for furniture and the walls were devoid of any form of decoration.

Pepito and Squee stand at the threshold of the room while Dib just barged right in and began looking around. "Hey! You can't just break into people's rooms like that!" Squee exclaims as Dib pulled some sort of high-tech gadget from his pocket. He ignores Squee's protests and scans around the room with the device, the odd do-hicky begins to buzz and ring as he approached the closet. Wanting to investigate more he opens the doors and enters, curious, the other two followed the paranormal investigator into the closet.

Inside was just as bland as the room they had just left. The only outfit she had struck Squee as looking similar to Nny's, along with boots that simply appeared to be just purplish versions of the killers. "The entrance is definitely in this closet" Dib quoted as the devices sounds and lights reached a summit. "I don't see anything" Pepito skeptically comments as he looked around the largish closet. "Well obviously she not just going to have an elevator in the back of her closet" Dib stated as he leaned against the back wall of the closet, which promptly slid open.

"Why the heck did that happen?" the now injured boy says as he rubbed the back of his head and leaned up. "Umm, Dib you may want to turn around" Squee states with a look of surprise on his face. On his feet now, Dib notices that Pepito too, looked surprised. Hence, he turned around and found himself facing the inside of an alien looking elevator. Stepping in and grabbing his two companions, whom were still rather shocked, Dib looked at the button selection. After a few moments of pure concentration he selected the button which probably said "Training Hall", he still wasn't quite able to read Irken.

The inside of the elevator was really high-tech looking, with various electronic stuff colored varying shades of red, pink, and purple. The elevator was extremely fast compared to the ones that humanity had produced, but they could barely feel that. It only took them a few seconds to reach their intended destination; once the doors opened they peered out into a room that resembled a hall way with several snack machines on one side and a single door on the other down at the end of the room. The trio cautiously wandered down the hallway, looking at the bizarre assortment of alien snacks that the vending machines held.

By the time Pepito and Squee reached the door Dib already had some sort of device out and had attached it to the number pad on the side of the door. "Okay I believe you now! Tak's an alien…We should probably leave now" Pepito states hurriedly as Dib worked through the numerous codes keeping the door closed. "No! Not yet! I need to know what she's training! It could be vital to stopping whatever evil she has planned!" at the end of this statement the door slides open and the three enthusiastically look into the room beyond.

On the other side of the door there are several entities just milling about, the trio stood there utterly shocked at the sight of numerous aliens. Several were grey skinned with horns curving back over their heads and odd feetless legs; there was also a figure with a hood that concealed its face. There were several other bizarre creatures, including one with three heads, a critter with four legss and no arms, and. Dib was about to close the door back up when one of the grey beings looked up and noticed them. "Look! Humans!" the creature shouted while pointing at the human, half-demon, and trauma magnet.

The three attempted to run away from the horde of alien critters but they were outrun by the creatures. Soon they found themselves in between a few of the greys, and the rest of the aliens. So distracted by the sight were they that they failed to notice to large three headed one sneaking up behind them. "Hey! Let go of us!" Dib exclaimed as the large being grabbed the three and shoved them under his armpits. "Nope, you are not allowed to just wander around the base" The large creature mumbled, each of its heads saying a different word, as it shoved them into a cage, Dib's head not exactly fitting through the entrance at first.

The three sat, dejected, within the relatively small cage for some amount of time. Most of this time was spent in silence, but eventually Dib decides to speak up. "So what exactly is the training hall used for?" he inquired to the nearest aliens while a few other practiced some extraterrestrial martial arts. "We're training in some irken martial arts types stuff…" a greenish, four armed creature began to explain before one of the greyish goat-like aliens silenced him. "Come on! Tell me what you're training for! Are you being trained as invaders!?" Dib ranted for a little bit before one of the grey aliens stops him.

From that open door came forth a certain blue haired girl, whom then flickered and faded revealing a green-skinned, purple-eyed alien. "Ah glad to see you've continued your practice while I've been, UH!?...why are they here!?" the alien who was Tak exclaimed noticed the suspended cage. "They are just some humans we found wandering around the base" the purple hooded figure answered. "Tak! You won't succeed in training these invaders!" Dib shouted from the cage. This comment was met with a malicious giggling from all of the aliens currently in the room. "What's so funny?" Pepito questioned as Dib stood, dumfounded, clinging to the bars of the cage.

"What's funny is that we are not being trained invaders" the three headed creature stated, each of its heads taking a third of the statement. "Dib, the whole point of the Irken invasion force is that specially trained **irkens** take over a planet, how many irkens do you count in this room?" Tak stated triumphantly as she gestured to the large crowd watching the discussion. "and other than that, you've meet us a couple times before this" a random alien in the crowd. "Yep! and there was even that time we helped stop that weird cyborg shark scheme of Zim's" the female grey on Tak's right points out, causing Squee to remember that horrible day at the beach. "Yeah we're more of an anti-invader force" the four armed creature stated before someone could silence him. Mumbling with frustration at the individual Tak activated the switch that would cause the cage to release its contents.

"Hey are you sure it's a good idea to let them out?" the four armed creature asked. Tak simply stared at the being for a few seconds while Dib, Pepito, and Squee recover from falling out of the cage. "If you can come up with a name that doesn't cause new recruits to giggle uncontrollably…I might listen to your ideas" she told the alien who then wanders off looking rather hurt. Tak then motioned for the group to follow her, only stopping once to tell a small group of aliens to stop giggling. She led them through the base for a while passing through halls, and rooms filled with bizarre equipment (of which Dib snapped a few pictures).

_"Stop following this alien chick! She's going to lay eggs in your stomach or something like that!"_ Shmee spoke up for the first time of the night. 'I do not think so' Squee thought back as they entered a large room with several suspended screens and a control console. "Stand there please" Tak motioned to an oval on the floor as her robotic minion typed out something on the console. "Why?" Dib confrontationally asked as he and the others stepped onto it. "So I can first erase your friend's memories and then launch you into the back yard" she stated as the oval lifted off the ground slightly, she then concentrated on Pepito and Squee, then a blueish light flashed from the implant on her head.

Nothing happened.

"Hmmmm….figures you would hang out with some of the few intelligent humans" Tak stated as she stands back from the oval and turns to the robot. MiMi activate the pest control!" the robot salutes silently, but then its head sparks and its eyes turn cyan. "OKIE DOKIE!" the robot screeches before it smacks it's head into the button. The oval then launched the trio up through at hole that had appeared in the ceiling. After some fearsome acceleration and some squee-ing they find themselves in the side yard of Tak's house. After helping each other up they walk to the front and find several police cruisers on the lawn. "There you are!" The three turn to find Pepito's mom coming towards them, clearly very angry. "Where have you been? You had me worried sick!" The irate woman grabbed the young boy by one of his ears and drags him away.

"Hey Squee" the boy turns to find his red haired guardian cautiously peeking out from behind an unusually large truck. "Hey Devi, why are you hiding?" Todd asked as he walks up to her. "No real reason, we should probably leave now" she stated as she stood up from behind her hiding spot. And thus they walked back to their car, Squee never noticed the occasional paranoid glances Devi cast upon the police cars parked in the yard, or passing on the street.


	57. At The Mall

**Chapter 57: At the Mall**

**A/N:** Within this unholy assortment of words and soul stealing magic lies the tale of Nny going to a mall to do some "expressing" and witnessing something horrible and life changing.

* * *

Nny slammed the door of the silver truck closed behind him. Taking a second to readjust his backpack so that none of the knives were threatening to stab him whilst he walked towards the repugnant mass of social interaction typically referred to as a "Mall". He thus begins his trek up towards the building's main entrance, taking a moment to glance down the alleyway where he killed that pedophile a few years back. Pulling himself out of memory lane he continues on to the revolving doors that had been built into the front of a concrete structure.

Nny beginsn to search for an opportunity to express his disgust of these places. He glances into the stores, he silently dared someone to make fun of his looks or call him wacky. He always hated malls, he was not quite sure why but he thought it had something to do with the preponderance of people that inhabited these places. Most of the inhabitants of the massive conglomeration of stores and clothing chains seemed oddly oblivious today, so he occupied himself with just wandering around the massive place.

"Excuse me sir!?" Nny was torn from his deep thoughts by a falsely enthusiastic voice coming from a small stand in the middle of the massive walkway. "Hello sir! I just couldn't help but notice that you do not have a cellphone earpiece" the woman's eyes indicated that she was very dead inside as she held up a small device with some rubbery material on one side. "No thank you I don't have a cellphone" He tried to wave her off, wishing he had brought his head phones so that he could drown out peoples voices with Beethoven.

"Oh…well then allow me to sell you one! I have such a great collection here!" the woman once again put on a fake smile as she drags Nny over to her stand. "I do not need a cellphone!" he exclaimed as he pulled the woman's hand off of his. "Oh you're just saying that! Everyone needs a cellphone! How else would you communicate with people!" she was clearly getting tired of the whole enthusiasm routine. "I do not **want** to communicate with people! Besides I never get calls! Not even wrong numbers!" he raises his voice a little more in an attempt to get his point across.

At this moment in the chapter the woman's façade utterly dissolves leaving a look of irritation and self-loathing plastered on her horrible visage. "Listen you little freak! I have to sell five of these piece-of-crap obsolete bricks just to break even!" she was infuriated as she forced a large brick of a phone into Nny's hand. "So help me if you don't fucking buy one of these I'll….*Gurgle*" the woman's angered tirade ended as Nny shoved the phone she had given him down her throat. He then stood over her, watching in glee as she slowly choked on her product in a more literal fashion compared to what she did to her customers.

Nudging the now still form with his boot Nny found that the woman was now dead, as most people who interact with him tend to end up. Realizing that by some miracle of architecture that no one had seen the grizzly act he took off running hoping he would be far enough away when someone found the body that he would not have to leave before he fully "expressed" himself. Soon enough he found himself in the food court area of the mall, here he glanced around at some of the food chains before deciding to purchase a giant soft pretzel.

He wandered to an area just outside of the food court where he chanced upon a bench, upon which he sat whilst contently chewing on the foodstuff. After completing the large snack, which was probably more than he's eaten in the past few days, he began to walk towards the other end of the mall. It was in the crowds on his way to this part of the mall that he spotted her. He caught a glimpse of crimson hair for a brief moment, and at first just waved it off as someone else with red hair. But alas, his curiosity eventually got the better of him and he pushed through the thickening thong of people.

His actions elicited several rude remarks from the other shoppers; he ignored these as he continued to stalk her. Once he was free of the mysterious clot of people he could get a clear look at his goal and found that it was indeed whom he thought it was. "Devi" he whispered to himself as he jumped behind one of the pillars holding up the ceiling. Peeking out from behind the mass of steel-reinforced concrete he let her get a little further away before continuing to stalk her.

Like any good stalker he took in every detail of his target, or at least those he could discern from looking at her back. Her red heir was done up into two sets of pigtail-like structures and she was carrying a purplish backpack with some sort of insignia on it, the pack itself was obscuring whatever may have been on the back of her equally purple shirt. He continued his routine from four years ago, following about fifty to a hundred feet behind her, occasionally stopping behind columns when he felt he was getting too close.

This continued for several minutes, at which point her path brought her excruciatingly close to a café positioned directly in the middle of the walkway. There were several tables on the outside of this establishment. All of which were inhabited the kind of people Nny would have killed already. As she passed one of the further tables one of the dudes sitting there reached out and grabbed at her rear end.

Devi's POV

Devi was feeling quite paranoid at this point; she could just feel someone somewhere behind her, following her. This added a sense of security to the feeling of confusion she had felt as to exactly why she had stuffed her backpack full of knives before leaving. So instead of heading into the store she was originally planning on purchasing stuff from she had continued to walk through the mall, trying to lose her stalker. This tactic had brought her near that weird coffee house everyone in the mall said was inhabited by sex crazed douchebags.

It was at this moment in her walk through the mall that she felt someone grab hold of her ass. A little startled she sort of jumped forward a little bit while turning to see who had done that. "Hey beautiful why don't you sit? I could show you a good time!" said one of the three moronic looking men sitting at the table, she just stood there imagining the number of ways she could kill him at that moment. "Oh hey baby if you're worried about now one liking you cause of those scars I won't mind" the ass-grabber stated as he got up from the table and got really close to her.

At first she wondered what scars he was talking about; then she remembered three vertical scars left by that acid-blooded cat Sickness had tried to distract her with. "You're probably gonna be on your knees most of the time anyway" it was this comment that brought her back to reality, that and he was now reaching for her breasts. So intent on his goal was he that he failed to notice Devi pulling a small switchblade from one of her backpacks side pocket that is until she began stabbing him in the ribs and torso with it.

The blood that leaked and spattered from the ten or so punctures now coated about half of her hand. As the first guy fell over bleeding one of his buddies leaped up from the table and charged her. Calmly, she reached over her back and pulled a rather large stake knife from her backpack. "Why the fuck did you do that you whore!" the man shouted as he began to raise his fist to strike her. "I did that because your idiot fried her tried to feel me up!" she screamed as she brought the knife down across his chest, leaving a trail of bloodied fabric.

Johnny's POV

Johnny stood halfway exposed, halfway hidden by a pillar, his jaw felt as if it could fall off at any moment. "What the fuck just happened!?" Nail bunny voiced Nny's shock and confusion at the whole scene, as Devi continued to cut into the second guy. Clearly he wasn't exactly shocked by the repeated stabbings; it was who did those stabbings that left him temporarily unable to move. By the time he found the strength to do so she had killed the rest of the first guy's six friends plus a particularly out of shape mall cop and she appeared to be running away from the scene.

However, she was not running away from something, instead she was running directly towards him, and before he could react she had already performed a flying kick to his face. "YOU DID THIS!" she screeched at him as she pulled him off the ground by the fabric of his shirt. "YOU FUCKING LUNATIC LOOK WHAT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING TALKING BURGER BOY STATUE DID TO ME!" she shouted at the top of her lungs as she motioned towards the fresh crime scene with a blood drenched knife. At this moment she flipped the knife around in her hand and attempted to bring it down upon Nny's chest.

Nny on the other hand had a different idea and freed himself from her grip just before the knife made contact. Realizing what happened she pulled out a second chef's knife and began trying to slash away at his flesh. He was too busy dodging the attempted blows to actually reach for any of his own knifes so he attempted to run from the whole scene, however she would not let him as he she wanted to show him what he had done. This plan of hers failed when a squadron of cops showed up, she became distracted long enough for Nny to flee into the panicked crowds and run all the way back to his truck.

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**A/N:** Yay! More serial killer vs. serial killer showdown type stuff! Isn't this just absolutely entertaining!?


	58. Abductions

**Chapter 58: Abductions**

**A/N:** this be a three part chapter in which the main protagonists consist of Devi, Tenna, and of course Johnny C. What's going to happen you ask? Well stop asking and read the fucking chapter!

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Devi stood on the silent, almost midnight street corner under a street lamp. She stood there for a few more moments, checking for oncoming traffic before crossing the street. There were still a few cars out, but they were few and far between, so it felt as if she had the town to herself. She had recently found herself wanting to get out more, a near complete reversal of her previous agoraphobia. Devi was certain this had something to do with Sickness coming back, absolutely certain.

As she drifted through these intangible thoughts her tangible form drifted towards the streets that bounded the parks. As she walked along one of these streets she came across a squirrel which appeared to be gnawing on a human toe. None-to-fondly recalling the date she had lost to these aberrations she promptly kicked the squirrel into the street where it was run over by a car. _"Hey, why did the chicken cross the road?"_ Sickness asked, puzzled by the evil doll's attempt at a jest, Devi played along.

"I don't know, why?" She spoke aloud, no longer caring if anyone heard her. _"To prove to the squirrels it could be done successfully!"_ Devi chuckled slightly at this somewhat humorous spin on the old joke. "So what's with the new comedy routine? Get tired of talking about Nny?" Devi asked to the little voice within her head meats. _"Not really, and besides you seem to be doing a great job of attracting him on your own"_ Sickness was either referring to the past two murderous encounters she had had with Nny, or the growing sensation of being followed she was currently developing.

Granted, that probably is Nny, she thought to herself as she continued to move along the street. Her hand reached into a pant pocket inside which was safely nestled a hunting knife and its sheath. She first attempted to lose her stalker by picking up her pace, but this seemed to only increase her paranoia, and decrease the distance between them. Once she was finally fed up with this routine she whirled around, pulled out the hunting knife, and charged strait in the direction she felt her stalker was hiding in. Sure enough she felt the blade sink into flesh as the proud new owner of a knife wound yelped in pain and surprise; she then grabbed him and tossed him into the pool of light under a street lamp.

At first she though that the stalker was in fact Nny, but soon realized that there were a few differences. The most obvious being his acne riddled complexion which looked nothing like Nny's, another less obvious give away being his height. "Who the fuck are you? And why are you following me?" she asked as she grabbed him by the neck and slammed him up against the fence that surrounded the park. "…I am Jimmy but you can call me Mmy or Darkness" he stated as he recovered from the initial shock. "What are you? Johnny's little brother!?" she joked as he just stood there against the fence. "Ummm…..no I just sort of admire him" He nervously explained as she laughed insanely at the thought of Nny having a younger sibling.

"Oh I see your just his creepy little fan boy!" she screamed as she lunged at him and then stabbed him repeatedly with the knife she was carrying. "That's what you get for 'admiring' a lunatic!" she said to the apparently dead body as she began to walk away. Then a moaning from behind her caught her attention and she turned to find the guy with multiple, lethal stab wounds moving around as if he had a particularly bad hangover. "What the hell!" she screamed repeatedly as she tried stabbing him a few more times. Seeing that none of the stabbings were having any effect whatsoever she took a few steps back to absorb the situation.

This gave him the opportunity he needed to grab her by the neck and slam her head into a nearby brick pillar, knocking her unconscious.

Tenna's POV

Tenna happily bounded up the steps of the apartment building she shared with her best friend Devi D(distracted by thoughts of nervous park squirrels). You see she was insanely happy because Devi had recently told her about how she had recently been getting out much more at night. That and The Camera was having a showing of movies that were so terrifying the actors needed therapy after filming, she though Devi might like that. While squeaking spooky happily she burst through the door of Devi's hallway and began half sprinting down it.

She skidded to a halt outside the door and stared for a few seconds at the busted locks. She nervously pushed the door open cautiously wandering into the room and finding it in complete disarray. "Hello? Devi? Squeegee?" she meekly called out while stepping over a fallen table smothered in couch cushion stuffing. Getting absolutely no response from the dead quite apartment she began to walk to the back hallway when she stepped on something that emitted a small squeak of terror.

"What the fuck! You just don't go around stepping on shit!" Sickness screeched as she wiggled out from under Tenna's boot. "And second…Hey what happened here!?" Sickness stopped her berating as she noticed the utter chaos that had over taken the apartment. "Hey! You're that spooky dolly thing!" Tenna was a beginning to freak out about what fate had befallen her friends. "Hmm? Oh yeah I am! So seriously do you know what happened?" the doll asked as Tenna walked into the back rooms. Pulling the door to Devi's studio open she heard several clicking noises.

Once inside she looked down and found a string with several grenade-pin like objects tied to it tied to the door knob. Turning around she found the grenades shoved into the plaster of the opposite wall. She then ran, near screaming from the apartment, grabbing Sickness and Shmee, who had mysteriously appeared beside the spooky dolly. She was about halfway down the stairs when the grenades went off, obliterating the apartment and parts of the surrounding ones.

Johnny's POV

Johnny slammed the door of his shack of a house as he gleefully sucked on yet another of his Cherry Doom Brainfreezies. He walked into his living room and plopped down on the couch, still sucking, and propped his feet up on the table. _"Hello Nny, how are you feeling today?" _ Meat asked in an oddly meek voice. "Pretty good actually…hey, are you getting…fainter?" the murderer asked after finding the best word for what he wanted to ask.

"_I dunno I haven't been feeling well I…."_ the head voice drifted off and remained silent for a few moments. "HA! That's it isn't it! I'm winning! No more emotion!" Nny enthusiastically exclaimed as he took another suck of the brainfreezy. While doing this two things happened; first, he got a massive brain freeze, secondly he heard a commotion from the kitchen and went to investigate.

"Hey what are you doing?" one vaguely familiar voice asked as of another as Nny approached the kitchen. "I am trying to figure out how to make toast!" the other, still vaguely familiar voice answered back. "That pimple faced asshole brought us back to tell Johnny about that warehouse thing! Not make toast!" the first voice responded before Johnny leaped into the kitchen a beheld a horrifying sight.

It was the Doughboys; they were back, and slightly livelier looking than before. Mr. Eff had dragged a stool over to the counter in front of the toaster while D-boy stood at the base looking disapprovingly at his counterpart. "Hey well if it isn't the man of the house himself! How you doing old buddy" Eff said half-sarcastically when he noticed Nny standing at the other end of the kitchen. All Nny could really do nothing but stand there and stare with a mixture of shock and anger as his left eye twitched involuntarily with the latter emotion.

"Awww, look he's confused by our reappearance!" D-boy apparently took delight in seeing Nny squirm. Nny managed to mumble a few questions involving exactly how the pair had been brought back to ghastly life. "Well I'm not exactly sure how he did it but some pimply weirdo named Jimmy did something to that meaty guy in the living room and then brought us back" Eff explained after hopping down from the stool.

"That fucker Jimmy is dead!" Johnny screeched after he managed to pull himself from the initial daze. "We know! That massive hole running down the length of his torso kind of gave it away…by the way he stole one of your shirts" D-boy explained as he looked on Johnny with a look of loathing. "But anyway he told us to tell you that if you ever want to see the girl and the squeaking kid again you should go to warehouse 15 in the industrial district" Eff explained as Nny sat down in a chair.

It was at this moment that the moon light spilling in through the boarded up windows revealed the shape of a baseball bat rising up behind Nny. The insane mass murderer turned in time to have D-boy awkwardly smash his face in with the bat. "What the fuck! We were only supposed to tell him!" Eff exclaimed as an unconscious Nny fell to the floor. "Well I just don't like our friend here okay!" D-boy responded as he jumped down off the table. "Well we did tell him, I'll drive!" Eff exclaimed as he and D-boy walked away from the man bleeding profusely from his shattered nose.

A few moments later the sound of a certain silver trucks engine starting could be heard. This was followed immediately by the sound of a garage door being crushed by several thousand pounds of gangster truck. Another ten minutes passed before another car was heard, this one was smaller. As Johnny started to come to he was aware of the sound of his front door opening, followed by the sensation of a very small hand slapping him across the face.

"Wake up you idiot!" the weak sounding voice exclaimed as Johnny opened his eyes and found a face to go with the voice. "You…look like Devi!" he remarked in a startled fashion as he gazed upon the visage that resembled Devi before she dyed her hair red, it was also more doll like and had screws for eyes. "Are you Devi's figment" he asked as he subconsciously worried about turning Devi into a talent deprived serial killer.

"NO! I'm the figment of Dr. Archibald KerfuffleMuffinPants! Yes I'm Devi's figment you idiot!" the doll remarked as Nny threw it off of his chest and stood up. After regaining the equilibrium he lost when D-boy hit him with a bat he for the first time noticed the black woman standing in his kitchen. "Who the hell are you?" he asked as he vaguely remembered her and her little skeleton toy from earlier in the summer.

"I-I'm Devi's friend Tenna…What did you do with her you loony!" she screamed as she attempted to threaten Nny with Spooky. "I didn't do anything with…" he stopped talking as he remembered something the Doughboy's had explained before he was knocked out. Realizing the implications of this he ran out of his house and jumped into the woman's still running car. He was about to drive away when the woman and the doll jumped into the passenger seat. He ignored this as he was already planning the numerous ways he could re-kill Jimmy.

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A/N: Well we're really getting ahead into the action-y bit of this tale...


	59. Jimmy's Revenge

**Chapter 56: Jimmy's Revenge**

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A quiet, partially lit street somewhere in the industrial district of Vasquez City is where our tale begins to take shape. The moon is peacefully shinning down upon the streets as a two-times stolen silver pickup careens violently down the street barely making a turn as it clips a bench with a hobo sleeping on it. Anyone around to notice this mass of illegal driving barreling down the streets would able to hear a series of screams coming from the truck.

"Come on! More gas! Go faster!" the first manic voice screamed; disappointed that duck-taping the gas pedal to the floor did nothing to increase his speed. "Would you slow the fuck down!? I may be a sack of suicidal tendencies but I don't want to die a fiery vehicular death!" the other second voice screamed at the manic driver. "Oh relax! I've got this baby under complete control!" Eff yelled back as he paid attention to pretty much everything but the road.

Any pedestrian out at this late hour would have been treated to the sight of the truck smashing into the front of warehouse 15. The initial joy of such a person witnessing an idiotic and easily avoidable crash would have morphed into utter shock and sanity doubting as two Styrofoam Pillsbury Doughboys climbed out of the ruined truck. "Oh come now we're still alive aren't we?" the one with demonic red eyes pointed out with the spirally eyed one. The odd pair walked up to one of the various entrances to the building they had been told to come to after telling Johnny.

Staring up at the out of reach door knob for a few seconds D-boy eventually forced Eff to act as a stool while he reached up and turned the door knob. After wandering about the structure they eventually came to a large, empty space at the back of the space was an odd desk with an evil looking swivel chair. "Ummm, hello?" Eff asked once they had gotten within a good distance of the chair and desk. The chair turned towards them revealing the zombie that had somehow brought them back to life.

"Did you tell him? Is he coming?" the freak of a human asked as he leaped over the desk. "Yes however he will be a little delayed" D-boy stated as the guy hovered over the pair. "Why is he going to be delayed!? I wanted revenge now!" the man threw a tantrum for a few moments. "D-boy here decided to free the beast all over Johnny boys face!" Eff enthusiastically stated as he pointed toward Psychodoughboy. "Is that so?" the guy stated as he dramatically walked off a little ways before turning.

"You were only supposed to tell him!" Jimmy screeched before pouncing on D-boy. Lifting the Styrofoam creature up Jimmy ripped him in half and then began to devour each of the still-screaming halves individually. "Holy fuck!" Eff exclaimed as he stood in shock before running away as fast as his stubby Doughboy Legs could carry him. He ran through the halls of the warehouse, hearing Jimmy's calls just behind him the whole time. Eventually he came to a smaller partially filled room with two cages suspended from the ceiling, upon hearing Jimmy's approach he leaped behind a crate.

Jimmy's POV

Jimmy strolled into the room where Johnny's two friends were being held, intent on devouring the second Doughboy after finding the first one oddly tasty. Seeing nothing but boxes and crates he walked in to get a better look and saw that the occupants of the cages were stiring. "Hello! I don't suppose you've seen an oddly colored Pillsbury Doughboy come in here did you?" he first asked of the small child who moved his head in a way that indicated he was inches away from wetting himself.

"And what about you?" he asked of the crimson haired girl whom had done considerable damage to his undead body. "Fuck you! You sick piece of shit! I swear when I get out of this cage I'm going to rip your limbs off with a spork!" she screamed as the cage rocked back and forth slightly. "Huh yeah I doubt that!" he retorted back before stopping his forward march and returned to the hall to listen. There he heard someone calling his name, gleefully pulling too sword-like blades from his boots he ran back to the main storage room.

As he ran towards the entrance to that room he slowed slightly weary of a sneak attack. He was right to be worried for as soon as he crossed the threshold a blade whistled through the air were his head had been before he ducked. "Where the hell are they you subversion!" he turned around to find a crazier than normal Johnny wrenching his blade from the door frame. "Hey your hair grew back, that's great!" he shouted as he made his own strike at him, also noticing that his former idols face was covered in blood from his shattered nose.

"Don't try to change the fucking subject!" Johnny shouted back as he made another attempt at stabbing his undead victim. This time the blade made contact with Jimmy's torso, but as it is already a puree of internal organs this did not have much of an effect. Pushing the waste-lock away Jimmy made a swing for one of his arms and managed to connect with the very tip of his blade. Grunting in pain Johnny retaliated with a strike across the face, taking off most of the skin on the side of Jimmy's face.

As they attempted to cut into each other they slowly moved around the room. Eventually Johnny had Jimmy quartered and after picking up the zombie, somehow found the strength to launch him through the door to a stair well. Running into the well after his nemesis, Johnny saw Jimmy attempting to flee up the stairs and followed soon after.

Tenna's POV

Tenna sat in the passenger seat of her own car, utterly shocked about what she had been told about the guy who kidnapped her friend. The other thing that had rendered her paralyzed with fear was the revalation that she had been sharing her car with the Vasquez City Killer. "Come on! We've got to find Devi!" Tenna glanced down at the demonic doll occupying the now vacant driver's seat. "Why can't you go?" she asked the doll, just wanting to sit here stewing in pure terror.

"Cause I'm like twelve inched tall and lack thumbs!" the doll explained while waving its hands around. "What exactly would I be able to do?" the doll made a fairly good argument, considering it is a doll. _"The spooky dolly is right Tenna" _ a voice originating from the hand that held Spooky stated. "You're talking!? Oh goodie that means this is all a horrible nightmare!" the woman exclaimed while squeaking / hugging spooky.

"_As much as I would like that to be true this is real Tenna, and you have to help your friend" _Spooky's voice explained. _"And if you don't help Squee I swear I will burn down every home you try to live in from now on" _the demented little teddy bear in her lap said Tenna looked in between the little skeleton toy, the pyro-bear, and the scythe-legged dolly before reluctantly leaving the car.

Devi's POV

Devi watched as her kidnapper left the room in what appeared to be a rage fueled rush. "Are you okay Squee?" she asked of the small child in the cage next to hers, the kid sort of nods as he remains huddle in one corner of the cage. "Okay, that's good, now maybe we can try to get out of here" the woman states as she pulls a small paring knife from her backpack and began using it to try and pick the lock. "Devi!" she looked up at Squee, who had said her name and was now pointing towards the floor. Following his pointing finger she found herself looking at an overly animated Pillsbury doughboy climbing out from behind a crate.

"Oh hi there!" the Doughboy shouted when he noticed them staring at him. "Who the fuck are you?" Devi demanded. "My name is Mr. Fuck, but you can call me Eff if you are so inclined" the demonic pastry standee explained. "Well do you see a set of keys down there?" she asked, hoping it would cooperate; using a knife was only getting her hand cut up. "Actually yes there are some keys!" in the dim light of the room she could barely see him hold up something that jingled like a set of keys.

At this moment the door bursts open throwing light into the room as a certain black woman came bounding into the room followed by Sickness. "Devi! Thank Gawd I found you!" Tenna shouted, not noticing the animated lump of Styrofoam standing next to her. "Oh Tenna am I glad to see you! Do you think you could throw those keys up here?" Devi asked as she pointed towards the one called Eff. "Sure I can…whoa!" Tenna initially freaked out when she looked at Eff who was trying to hand her the keys.

It took a few tries but eventually Devi caught them, allowing her to free herself and Squee. When they were on the ground, Tenna immediately handed Shmee to Squee as he was in danger of shaking himself to pieces. They then ran out of the room, Devi stopped at the entrance and watched at the others run off before she ran in the opposite direction. "So you're gonna get revenge on that fucktard after all are you!?" Sickness exclaimed as she tried to hang on to Devi's shoulder. The pair eventually end up in the main warehousing area where they followed the trail of blood to the stairs.

As Devi began to run up the stairs Sickness found it becoming increasingly harder for her to hang on, and eventually fell off. Stopping suddenly to consider whether or not to pick up the doll she turned to look down the stairway but her attention was quickly drawn back up the stairs by a thumping. This thumping continued until Nny appeared crumpling at the bottom of the next flight of stairs with a large blade sticking out his back.

Running up the penultimate flight Devi pulled another, easily throw-able knife from her backpack. As soon as she could look up the final flight of stair she found Jimmy gloating triumphantly at the very top. His initial delay of shock at seeing her free was enough to allow her to toss one of the blades up at him. It struck him in the left eye before turning around due to its momentum, pulling the organ from its socket as it went.

His scream and stumble of pain gave her the time she needed to pull a chef's knife from her backpack and grab one of Nny's dropped daggers. She then barreled up the stairs and made a swing for Jimmy's neck, this was, however, blocked by the stalkers own blade. Jumping backward she made another go for it, this time lopping off his right ear and some of his shoulder, as his lack of a left eye fucked with his depth perception.

He groaned in pain as he made more swings for Devi, each one skillfully dodged, this pretty much continued until Devi found an opening. She exploited the shit out of this hole in his defense and hacked off most of his right arm and sank the blade into his side a few times. She then felt a stinging sensation in her own right flank and looked down to find his blade buried into it. He proceeded to pull it out and stab her a few more times before pushing her backwards.

She fell to the ground and the rolled around to look at her killer, the mere action causing a fiery pain to shot through her side. The taste of her own blood permeated the smile that came across her face when she saw a still living Nny sneaking up behind a triumphantly laughing Jimmy. The experienced serial killer was wielding what looked like a hooked version of wolverine's claws, which he used to grab Jimmy's head and pull it back before shoving a tubular object into his empty eye socket.

After performing this ghoulish act, Nny near-casually tossed the undead man away and relaxed for a few moments. Jimmy tried desperately to remove the object from his face but failed to do so before the timer ran out. The blast from the relatively small device obliterated his head and most of his shoulders, the destroyed, burning body then crumpled to the ground. Surveying his handy work Nny swayed in the wind for a few moments before similarly falling to the ground.

Devi tried to laugh at Jimmy's violent death, but found that the pain from multiple stab wounds and weakness from blood loss prevented such action. She lay there for what seemed like ages occasionally she though she heard Nny mumble something but eventually it all started to fade out.

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A/N: This is the end of the Tale

Just kidding they are going to go through that whole Heaven / Hell deal before getting resurrected.


	60. System Down: Escape

**Chapter 60: System Down: Escape**

**A/N**: You want to know where I got the title? Well "System Down" is something Nny mumbled while he was bleeding out in the comics; also it's on one of the monitors on the front of JtHM #4 which is probably my favorite cover….the "escape" part will become evident with in the chapter.

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Somewhere deep in the bowels of house 777 there is a lone gangster handcuffed to a metal pipe. He has clearly been trying to escape for quite some time for the pipe itself has been bent into numerous directions, there is even a bloodied area on his wrist where he attempted to chew through it. "Fuck!" he launched the expletive at a chunk of plaster that nearly struck him after coming loose from the ceiling. "What the hell is wrong with this place?" he screamed as he again tried to pull on the pipe.

"To be honest it would probably be easier to list the things that are right with it" he looked up and found that he was in fact sharing this particular torture chamber with another living victim. "Oh hey, when did you get here?" he asked of the other victim while he attempted to pull on the pipe some more. "Not a fucking clue! I was just walking along then this freak bumps in to me and next thing I know I end up here!" the man then shuddered slightly from terror and starvation.

"Hey you may want to try pulling that way" the gangster looked up to find the other man indicating the direction towards the door. Giving him a confused look for a few seconds the gangster then looked up at the ceiling and in the dim light found that the chunk of plaster that nearly hit him had pulled a good portion of the ceiling loose with it. He pulled as hard as he could towards the door and inwardly rejoiced as the piping broke loose so he could just slide the cuffs right off. "Great! Now could you please get me out of this straight jacket?" the man motioned with his chin towards the garment he was trapped in.

"So you mind telling me exactly what is right with this place?" he asked as he undid the restricting garment. "Ummmm well I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one" the man responded as he shook off the restraints. The both barreled out of the room and were heading towards the stairs they could see in the distance when they came across a room overflowing with people. They stared in shocked and horrified awe when the gangster spotted a familiar face.

"Rose!" he shouted as he undid the restraints and gags holding his girlfriend to the wall. When she was finally free she did not speak, only latched onto to him and squeezed until he thought she would crush him. He helped her to her feet which was a difficult task considering that the vibration that had helped him break free had grown in intensity to the point where in the darkened room it was causing vertigo. "Hey man what are you doing?" the gangster asked of his companion who was attempting to free several of the newer looking occupants.

"If we find that fucker down here we're going to need all the muscle we can get!" he explained as he set one man free. "Sounds like a plan" the gangster mumbled as he walked back into the room and began to work on getting a particularly well-muscled man out of a tiny cage. "Umm, well people we'll send someone back to get you after we escape" the second man said to the room of pleading eyes. "Are we actually going to do that?" one of the set of 4 newly freed men asked. "I doubt it" he responded as they began to walk up the stairs.

Several Minutes Later...

"How fucking deep is this hell hole!?" the formerly caged man exclaimed as they climbed up what would be their eleventh flight of stairs. "I don't particularly care as long as I never come back again!" one of the muscle exclaimed as he struggled to keep his balance on the stairs as the shuddered suddenly from whatever was causing the whole place to shake. This moment of their daring and ultimately failed escape attempt is when they happen upon yet another room filled with people stuffed into tiny cages and strait-jackets.

"Hey were the fuck are you going!?" a man whom was missing his scalp demanded.

"Let me out of here I don't deserve to die!" a particularly slutish woman screamed.

"NO! Let me out! There are so many punks I haven't wailed on yet!" Some guy yelled from his upside-down position.

"Help that immortal cockroach is eating my brain!" A man screeched as he foamed at the mouth.

"Oh…wow…this is just…just wrong" the gangster remarked as he tried not to puke at the sight of the more tortured victims. "Okay! Okay! Shut up all of you!" the second man shouted to the room of people while the bizarre shaking continued. "Listen we obviously can't do much at the moment I promise we'll send the cops as soon as we get out of this house of horrors!" this managed to get some of the of the people to calm down but the others continued to plead. Ignoring these few holdouts the group of 6 climbed up the ladder that lead out of this room and into a long hall way.

"Jeezus! Where does he get all these things!?" Muscle#1 exclaimed as he looked into one of the rooms containing a horrific torture devices. "I don't particularly care if he gets them at a Sadistic-Bastards-R-Us I never want to see any of these things again!" muscle#3 responded back as he ran down the hall way. He at least had the decency to wait for the rest of the group to catch up to him as he waited by the base of the stairs until they caught up.

"Damn! This whole place feels like it's coming down!" Muscle#2 stated as some sudden movement threw off his balance. "Great! Now hurry up I do not feel like being inside when it does come down!" at this provocation the rest of the group, save the gangster and his girlfriend, ran up the flight of stairs where they found the guy who freed them standing in shock at the top of the stairs.

Impatient they pushed him through the doorway and milled about the room as they waited for the stragglers, this is when they noticed what the guy had been staring at. "SHIT! Is that blood!" Muscle#1 remarked in the words of the now very dead Kirk. "Well what do you expect to find in a place like this?" Number Two snarked back as he helped the gangster seat his girlfriend on a bench. "Well I can tell you that I definitely did not expect to find a Bub's burger boy statue!" Number Three answered snidely as he pointed out the statuette.

"Huh, and why exactly are you here you little fella?" Number One joked as he pick up the statue. _"Well the owner of this house owns me so I just sort of ended up here" _the whole group stared dumbfounded at the little voice coming from the statue. "Did that thing just talk?" Rose questioned from her position on the stairs. _"Yes I did, and I regret to inform you that there is no possible way to escape from this horrific place" _the burger boy said that half-sarcastically. "HA! Yeah right you fat little demon!" Three exclaimed as he through the statue down a flight of stairs.

"Hey! What are you doing!?" Ttwo screamed and the others turned to find the gangster slowly approaching the wall. The guy seemed utterly mesmerized by the horrific sight before him and so he continued without hearing his companion's cries. The weird vibration seemed to be coming from the wall, which was itself undulating and crackling as something beyond it attempted to break through. He was now within arm's length of it, and so, as number two ran forward to stop him, but it was too lat and he made contact.

And where he had touched burst forth a horrific mass of tentacles and mismatched limbs, as well as a few disturbing looking heads. The longest of the tentacles wrapped themselves around the gangster's arm and began dragging him into the wall. Number two stood horrified for a few seconds before he ran forward and tried to pull the gangster backwards. This did not provide any relief as the wall-thing continued its relentless pull, and the pair fell to the ground. Relief did come; it came in the form of one of the killers blades which he had left near the wall for some reason.

The gangster saw this and grabbed the knife quickly swinging it upward and slicing through the tentacles which now held him and his rescuee turned rescuer. The blade must have been unusually sharp as it sliced straight through the writhing mass as if it were a light saber going through butter. Thus the gangster was free to roll to the side and celebrate freedom; this celebration only lasted a few seconds for from the severed limbs burst forth a flow of reddish-purple-brown liquid which smothered Number Two. The man screamed and writhed in agony as witnessing this horror fled the room, the gangster followed soon after.

* * *

A/N: whooooo! A victim escape chapter! This is going to go roughly like the original comics so the heaven chapter should be occurring soon-ish.


	61. System Down: Heaven

**Book 7**

**Cover: Mystic Hill**

**Chapter 61: System Down: Heaven**

**A/N:** Here it is! The chapter where Devi and Nny go to Heaven! Isn't this going to be fun!?...

...for us, for the residents of heaven it's not going to be a fun time at all

* * *

Devi stood before the large sign she had appeared in front of just moments before. The sign it self said "Welcome to Heaven: You can stop praying now" however the area she was in looked more like the park after that revolution had staged a particularly large protest. She walked through the gate staring back at the port-o-let which was the only thing to occupy the area outside said gate. Then she stepped in something, looking down at her boot she found something that resembled a supersized version of the goose shit she usually tried to avoid on the sidewalk.

"That is just plain gross" She remarked as she rubbed the sole of her boot on one of the cleaner looking clouds lining the path. She then continued on to the front desk, careful not to step in anything else. "Hello Miss D(Guy screams about being too young to die)" the Peter said in an oddly happy manner as she approaches the desk. "Um, Hello, I don't suppose you could anything about this" Devi asked indicating the four or five stab wounds in her side.

"Um, well, let me just check" he said as he pulled a small box of band-aids out from under the desk. "Sorry your friend used them all up with that massive stab wound" Peter stated as he turned the box upside down, showing that it was empty. "My friend? Oh you mean Nny…we're not really friends…Hey wait! How'd he get into heaven! With all the shit he's done I'd expect him to go straight to hell!" Devi remarked as he put the box back under the desk.

"And for that matter what about me!? I've done some pretty nasty shit recently too!" she exclaimed as he flipped through the registry. "Yes well you happen to be a special case…and besides most people who get to heaven would probably give you a medal for killing that pedophile" he remarked as he looked at her list of acts, holding his handy barf bag close by just in case. "What do you mean by special case?" Devi was curious to know, she really was.

"I can't really tell you all that much, your fiend of a friend has been through this before, he can tell you" he explained as he indicated for Devi to continue on through the gates. "Your tour guide will be with you shortly!" he called after her as she walked forward through the gates. She walked onward for a little bit before she came across some large fat guy sitting in a recliner mounted on a spider-like creature's back.

"Shhhh! don't say anything!" the little creature pleaded for her to not talk. Realizing that the fat man snoring loudly in front of her was in fact God Devi leaned down to talk to the creature. "So why exactly do you not want me to talk to him?" she asked in a quiet voice, trying to make a compromise with the creature. "Because if he wakes up again they're going to blame me! Now leave!" the creature rudely shooed her away with one of its legs, and she left.

"Hello miss" Devi found a particularly handsome looking man standing beside her. "Who are you?" she asked of the guy who looked like he left those teeth whitening strips on too long. "My name is Dorian, and I will be your tour guide" he said as he gave an overly extravagant bow. "Okay then well just, lead away" Devi said as she motioned ahead of her, they had been walking for a little ways when they came across a door that said 'Lot B'.

The man opened the door for her and made a 'ladies first' sort of motion. Devi stepped through the doorway and was greeted with the sight of millions of people sitting in chairs for as far as the eye could see. "What's wrong with this place?" Devi asked as she looked around, she could not see any movement for as far as she could see. "Absolutely nothing, this is Heaven, people just want to be at peace and content, so all they need to do is sit around" he explained as he made grandiose gestures to the masses.

"Okay so why aren't you just sitting around?" Devi asked as they continued on their leisurely stroll through heaven. "Because like all the service people up here, I am in Hell, though I am not quite sure why they sent me there, I'm pretty sure the angels were just jealous of my beauty" the very vain man took a moment to comb is blonde hair into a more sculpted position. "Anyway your freakishly dressed fugly friend should be around here somewhere" Devi was about to point out that it was probably not a good idea to insult Nny when something predictable happened.

_BLAM!_

The man's incredibly handsome head exploded, showering the surrounding area with brain bits. "YOU THINK I'M FUGLY HUH!? WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PRETTY FUGLY YOURSELF WITH OUT A HEAD!" Nny screamed as the man's head began to repair itself, and then Nny blew it up again. "Stop! You're going to ruin everything again!" his tour guide came running from wherever they had been before. When he was satisfied that Devi's damned tour guide had had enough cranial explosions to knock him out Nny threw him aside and looked at Devi.

"So how are you enjoying Heaven so far?" Nny asked as his tour guide tries to wake Devi's up. "It's okay I guess…how did you do that head explosion thing?" Devi asked as she backed away from Nny a little bit. "Oh it's really neat! We have super powers up here! All you have to do is-_BLAM! _Nny's head exploded getting vital head bit's all over Devi, his headless body fell over to reveal a small kid standing behind him. "I destwoy you Gwamma kiwer!" the kid triumphantly yelled before exploding. "HA! Take that you little brat!" Nny exclaimed as he got to his feet just before his head exploded again.

"Hey what was that for!?" He asked as vital head bits flew back into their places. "That was for trying to kill me! Then turning me into a murderer!" Devi shouted as she tried to blow up his head again. Nny ducked as if it would help him, and somehow it does, manages to this mental attack causing it to strike a finely dressed woman nearby. "HEY! Can't you see I'm trying to bliss over here!" the woman screamed before blowing both their heads to bits. "Alright! I've had enough of this shit!" Nny shouted before concentrating really hard, causing every head with in forty feet to explode.

"Wooowhoooo! I can't believe I actually managed to do that!" Nny celebrated this in the few moments of calm he had while everyone's heads healed. Several of the individuals nearby looked to Nny's shouting and aimed their own mental attacks at him. With their heads still healing, few of these actually hit, most of them missing horribly, hitting innocent bystanders who immediately retaliated for the unwarranted assault. Some of these of course missed as well, prompting those that had been hit to respond, and eventually the whole battle began to spread beyond the original forty feet.

Nny, having been forgotten in the heat of battle, simply sat there observing the chaos around him, then Devi blew up his head again. "What the Hell!?" he exclaimed as his head repaired itself. "You think you're going to get off easily because I blew up your head once? Think again!" she then blew up his head a third time. "You already got your revenge for that!" he exclaimed as he tried to get up. "Oh no I haven't!" then she made his head explode a fourth time.

"Oh come on don't you remember that phone call! Wasn't that revenge enough!" he shouted whilst his head was healing. "What phone call!?" she roared with anger before blowing it up again. "You mean the one where you ranted on and on about emotion!? And getting rid of it just for me!? That wasn't revenge! That wasn't even a real apology" Johnny just sort of sat there for a few moments before responding. "That's what Nail Bunny keeps saying…but that wasn't the call I was talking about!" he shouted. "Who the fuck is Nail Bunny!?" She was preparing to blast his head to bits yet again when she was overcome with a bizarre falling sensation.


	62. System Down: An Inconvenience

**Chapter 62: System Down: An Inconvenience**

**A/N:** in this chapter we join our would-be escapee's as they run from the moose!

* * *

The five remaining survivors ran up the stairway, their only thoughts focused on getting far away from the cosmic horror pouring forth from the blood smothered wall. The made a mad rush through the hall that they found there and practically flew up the ladder, which lead to a bizarre spiral stair case. When they reached the top of this winding area they were greeted with another shorter hallway and the screams of people wanting to be set free. "I'm sorry I really am but we have to go! We really do" the second escapee explained to the now slightly calmer captives.

"Shouldn't we tell them about the thing?" Rose asked from the back of her gangster friend who was somehow carrying her despite his own near-starvation. "I don't think so, they'll be happier if they think some ones coming back for them" muscle three remarked as they began a trek up another flight of stairs. "Oh dear lord! When I find that fucker who trapped me down there I swear I'm gonna put his face into a blender or two" the gangster heaved the vacant threat as the group found these stairs first ended in a landing, which then lead to another small flight of stairs and a large, open room.

In the new room at the top of the stair's they found what appeared to be the remains of a petting zoo. "What the fucking hell is this place?" Number one asked as he kicked over a wire fence and picked up the skull of what looked like a goat. "I don't know but it's as good a place to stop as any" the gangster replied as he set Rose down on a bench and sat next to her. "Okay I know this guy's crazy but this just doesn't make sense, a petting zoo in the middle of a torture cellar!?" the second escapee again remarked.

"Yeah but with all the dead animals it just kind of fits in..." Number One nudges what looks like a pig skeleton. "…what was that!?" One turns to the door they had just entered through, he thought he heard some sort of shuffling sound. "Maybe someone else got free" Rose whispered out of weakness and fear. "I don't think so…aaaaggghhhhhhh!" the second guy pointed out as he cautiously approached the door before jumping backward as something leaped up the stairs. The whole group shrieked in terror while the thing emitted inhuman sounds as it moved about the front area of the room like an animal.

"Oh my god! it's that guy who got hit with the blood wall thing blood!" Number One exclaimed after the thing came really close to him. The thing was in fact that guy, however the liquid had severely burned him and most of his clothes had combusted, revealing purple-stained, peeling skin, his eyes burned blood red in the middle of a mutilated face. "Hey man it's just us remember? We were escaping together!" number three attempted to communicate with the tormented man. The thing seemed to comprehend his words for a few moments it almost appeared to be contemplating them.

Then with one inhuman shove it threw three all the way across the room. The things crazed gaze then honed in on Rose, who was screaming bloody murder by this moment. It began to drool profusely as it charged the screaming woman, intending to do horrific things to her. However the gangster came in and began to beat it over the head with a donkey's skull. "Run! I'll hold this thing off!" he screamed as he pointed towards the stairs before turning back and striking the transformed man in the temple.

Escapee the second grabbed Rose, pulling her arm over his own shoulder and helping her along as her boyfriend continued his desperate fight. Meanwhile number one was helping number three back to his feet and examining the massive scrape on the back of his head. "Well there's no serious damage, that's good, but you're probably going to bath in disinfectant for a week" he told his injured compatriot as they walked up the stairway. "Man with all the shit and horrors I've seen down here, I was planning on doing that when our friend here freed me!" and they all laughed nervously, except Rose who looked back towards the demented petting zoo.

The original escapee was surprised at himself; he actually appeared to be winning a fight with the horrifically burned, crazed man that had once been his escape partner / knife shield. With the way this thing had knocked number three clear across the room he did expect to last very long, especially with only a donkey's skull as a weapon. Yet here he was, beating the creature back towards the stairwell from wence it came. With one last heavy blow he sent the purplish thing stumbling backwards where it rolled down the stairs and came to rest at the landing. The gangster stood triumphantly at the very top of the stairs admiring his victory so much that he failed to notice the new inhuman sounds emanating from deeper in the basement.

Then the reaver-like corpse was suddenly pulled deeper into the stair well. The gangster could only really stare in absolute horror as several tentacles, some with hooks, and some without, launched up the stairs and wrapped themselves around the wall dividing both flights. These were soon followed by several thin, multi-jointed arms that waved frantically before digging into the walls and floors and pulling the rest of the monstrosity forward. The next parts to come into view were the numerous heads, the horrific heads that seemed to be attached without any rhyme or reason.

As the gang member stood there in absolute horror a final, larger head came into view, this one looked almost crocodilian in nature. Immediately underneath this head was a set of short, arthropodic limbs that were holding the crazed man close to what could have been the things wall-things chest while several scorpion tail-like stingers injected the unconscious form with more of the blood-like fluid, which appeared to be causing some form of horrific mutation. For the gangster this was the final straw and he ran across the room and up the flight of stairs.

It took him about three floors to catch up to his group, at which point he was too out of breathe to give them a proper warning. However, they could still sense the pure terror that was radiating off of the man. Taking this, and the twin toned, inhuman shrieks emanating from only a few floors below them, they followed the man forward as he ran. They ran through hallways, upstairs, practically flew up ladders until they finally began to see signs that they were getting closer to the surface. "Hey! These rooms look a little cleaner" the second escapee exclaimed as a roar of pure rage ripped through the house.

"Who gives a fuck if they're cleaner?" number three shouted back as he passed the sort of work bench you'd expect to find in a normal man's garage. The remaining five escapees' soon found themselves in the normal part of the house, relieved the gangster and his girlfriend sat on the killers couch. "Okay I think we put a lot of distance between ourselves and that thing, so time to rest" the second escapee said as he leaned against the wall near the basement door way. "Speak for yourselves we're getting the fuck out of this hell hole!" number one exclaimed as he and three ran towards the front door.

"Fuck yeah! FREEDOM!" Three screamed to the heavens as he nearly ripped the door from its hinges, and then ran out. Where he immediately fell into an abysmal void of unending emptiness, One meanwhile could only stand there helplessly staring into the void, holding the door frame in a vice grip. Escapee the second made a start to see what had happened but a noise coming from the basement door distracted him. He turned to find the former Number Two standing at the top of the stairs.

It had changed since last time; it was now about ten feet in height and looked as if someone had stretched it like taffy. In addition to this it was now sporting several tentacles' and insectoid limbs which sprouted off its back at odd angles. The mutant thing looked around the room for a few seconds before taking a swipe at Escapee the Second with one of its bizarre limbs. This strike obliterated the man's midsection, spraying the gangster and his girl with a fine mist of blood and organ bits.

Roaring with satisfaction and rage the creature violently knocked the still standing corpse out of the way, its spine being the only thing connecting the two halves. After doing this it spotted number one standing at the door and charged towards him with all its might. The creature tackled him, taking a bit of the door frame with it, before hurtling itself and its captive screaming into the void. The two remaining victims remained glued to their seats with terror as the sounds of the second thing became stronger and stronger.

It finally made an appearance, half crawling out of the basement, and half plowing through the floor boards. It moved more like a really fast fog or mist than an actual creature of flesh and blood as it dragged itself towards the exit. Where upon reaching it promptly and instinctively hurled itself into the void without a second thought.

_SHITTY MORPHING EFFECTS!_

* * *

**A/N:** Yipee! Wasn't that awesome! Shit happened! Moose escaped! Asshole victims died in a horrific yet quick manner!


	63. System Down: Hell

**Chapter 63: System Down: Hell**

**A/N:** Woooooooo! Here comes the final installment of the "System Down" arc. After this we shalt all return to the realm of the living with funny haircuts.

* * *

_FOOF!_

In a puff of demonic smoke and supernatural fanfare Devi has been ejected from Heaven and shot down into Hell. She has landed in a massive pile of brimstone and garbage that she immediately begins to roll down the side of. The pile is, of course quite massive so it takes her quite a while to reach the bottom but once she does she immediately gets to her feet and begins to dust herself off. "This is Hell?" Devi asked of the air as she began to walk through the ghost town. "Well I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, Heaven was definitely not what I expected" she mused to herself as she came to a street corner.

"Well I see you've already gotten acquainted with the scenery" a voice said from behind Devi as she stood at the corner examining all of the pun-y Hell-based names of the stores and buildings. Devi turned to find that the voice had originated from a roughly eight-foot tall demon with two horns curling around on each side of his face. Devi for the most part just stood there looking up at the demon wearing a face of pure surprise for a few moments before speaking. "Are you Satan?" She finally managed to ask of the demon.

"Yes, but for the duration of your stay here you may refer to me by my proper title, Senior Diablo" the devil explained as he and Devi began to walk along the street. "Well okay Senior, what do you mean 'stay'? I am dead, aren't I?" Devi asked as they crossed a street that was utterly devoid of cars, and continued walking. "Oh yes, very, but your job on the mortal plane is far too important for you to remain so for very long" Satan explained as they came to yet another street corner and stopped their trek, before they continued on.

"My job? What you mean being a semi-mediocre artist?" Devi asks as they stop at another street corner, by now they must have entered the more populated portion of hell, for there were more people here. "Hmmm…No, and I really can't explain it properly without Johnny being here…his guide was supposed to meet us at this corner…" the Devil commented as he looked around for any signs of the car that was carrying the serial killer. A few minutes later, a sports car drove up and screeched to a halt and the passenger side window rolled down to reveal the driver and no one else.

"Where is the man you were told to pick up?" Satan asked as he leaned over to make eye contact with the driver. "Pfftt, I had to drop that asshole off! Look what he did to my car man!" the driver explained himself as he points to the scuff marks on the dash that were clearly made by certain steel toed boots. "Later Dweebs!" he shouted the juvenile insult as his tires screeched and he raced along the street's before he came to a busy intersection and was T-boned by a tour bus that kept on going as if nothing happened. "So what now Senior Diablo?" Devi sarcastically asked of the Devil.

"Now, you can wait here for your own tour guide and you both can go off and look for Johnny…I have more important things to do than play hide and seek with a demented flusher" Satan bluntly explains before he walks away. And so Devi sat down on the bench that existed on that particular street corner and waited for someone who resembled a tour guide to come along. Eventually a black car that said 'Tartarus Tours' in red lettering on its side came up to the corner and the window was rolled down so the driver could speak.

"Devi D(screeching)?" the driver asked as a person behind him angrily honked their irritatingly cheery horn at him. "Yes that's me" Devi stated as she got up and opened the door. "So do you have any idea were this friend of yours might be?" the guide asks after driving around for a few moments down random streets. "He's not really a 'friend' exactly…I just don't know where he would be…" she trails off as she looked around at the pedestrians zooming by, she could get a better look at them whenever they came to a stop light, such as the one they were at now. She looked around for a few minutes, taking the time the extremely long light gave her to examine every pedestrian. "Hey that might be him…maybe" she said as she pointed over to a tall, dark-brown haired man walking along with his arm around an equally dark haired woman.

"No, that is the Deca-Killer" the speed demon driver said nervously as he grew more impatient waiting for the light to change. "The notorious serial killer from before I was born?" Devi asked, vaguely remembering her parent's stories of living in fear as the murderer rampaged across the country. "The very same one! Hopefully the light changes before he gets here!" the guide said as he began to nervously glance back and for the between the killer and the light. "Why?" Devi asked, hoping to delay their search long enough so that she wouldn't have to see Nny.

"That is why!" he said as he pointed over to the killer, who was stabbing someone repeatedly while the woman nervously looked the other way, anxiously running her hands through her hair. "Down here his punishment is to re-kill all the people he killed in before, and he hates it!" he explained as the killer finished his attack and proceeded to return to his apparently peaceful walk with his female companion. "Wait your one of his victims? Do you at least know why he killed you?" she asked her speed obsessed guide as he began to sweat profusely the longer the light didn't change.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know!? The last thing I remember is almost running over some kid and his TILF of a sister, the next thing I know I'm getting my eye's gouged out with a spoon!" he screamed as he slammed on the gas the nano-second the light turned green. "Okay first of all, what the fuck is a 'TILF'?" Devi asked as she attempted to not get crushed into her seat by the acceleration. "'Teen I'd like to fuck' you know someone whose just that close to being legal" the man commented while Devi wished she had a knife to stab him with.

Her second question was interrupted as horrified screams shattered the relative calm. "I think we found your friend" the guide commented as he drove up to a seemingly random bagel shop. Dodging the remaining fleeing customers they barged in through the front door and found a certain skinny maniac beating a fat guy to death with a tub of cream cheese. "YOU WANT YOUR FUCKING CREAM CHEESE!? HERE HAVE IT!" he screamed as he shoved the tub down the man's throat causing a sickening cracking noise as his jaw unhinged.

"Oh hey Devi! How's Hell so far?" Nny asked as he stood over the body which was attempting to repair itself but could not because the tub was blocking the man's airway. "Strange, very, very strange" she remarked as Nny jumped over the counter and grabbed some bagels. "You… you just killed someone with cream cheese!" Devi's tour guide stuttered slightly as he confusedly looks between the body and Nny, who was eating a bagel and could only shake his head.

"Who the fuck does that!?" the guide shouted as he gestured randomly, Nny continued to eat his first bagel. "I was killed with my great Grammy's silver spoon collection but!...Cream cheese!?" the man continues his confused rant as Nny offers Devi a bagel. "Cream FUCKING cheese! What's next!? POWDERED DAIRY CREAMER!?" he finished his rant and panted in frustration for a few moments before calming slightly. What followed was an awkward silence filled only with the sounds of two people eating stolen bagels. "Speaking of bizarre murder weapons, what did you use in that case that pushed the city medical examiner into a complete meltdown?" Devi asked of the serial killer behind the counter.

A quizzical expression came over Johnny's face as he attempted to remember what he had killed that particular person with. "OH! I think I killed that dick with a Cheeto" Nny enthusiastically commented as he made an 'Ah-ha!' snapping motion with his non-bagel filled hand. "Oh goodie! A Cheeto! Next thing I know you're going to be stabbing me to death with air!" the exasperated tour guide fellow exclaimed as he sat in a chair. "hmmm, I don't think that's possible…but I could kill you with this!" Johnny exclaims as he held up a plastic spork. "HA! I'd like to see you try!" the guide mockingly exclaimed as he slapped his knee in humor.

Outside the Bagel Shop

The former customers are cautiously approaching the shop, unsure as to whether or not they should return, they slowly inch closer and closer. As the cashier's hand is gripping the handle a horrified scream rings out from inside a few moments later blood spatters across the front window causing the customers to flee. The cashier, however, remains paralyzed with pure fear before the window breaks, and the tour guides head flies out, a spork lodged in its left eye.

A minute or two later two serial killers casually stroll out of the restaurant carrying take-home bagel bags, the bagels were really good. "So back in Heaven you mentioned me getting revenge through a phone call?" Devi asked as the stood on a street corner, finishing their bagels. "Yeah! Don't you remember that weird call with the gunshot and all the screaming?" Nny asks as he finishes is last bagel. "Um, yes how exactly does that count?" Devi asked as she sat on a bench. "I rigged a robotic to shoot me if I answered the phone" the killer explained as he leaned against a lamppost on the corner.

"Wouldn't that make it a suicide?" She asked of the crazed man. "Yeah, well changed my mind and I thought I turned the arm off but…you know how that ended" Johnny elaborated as he made a tapping motion on his for head, indicating where he had been shot. "oh…wait if you were getting shot in the face…how did you know it was me calling?" Devi asked of the maniac, all she got was a shrug in response. After a few moments of staring at each other Devi jumped up and pushed Johnny underneath a tour bus that was arriving at the corner.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?" the squeezed from the middle toothpaste serial killer screamed as his body attempted to heal. "That was for turning me into a murderer!" Devi screamed as Nny pulled himself off the asphalt. "And how exactly is that my fault!?" Nny retorted as he waved back and forth like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit after he was run over by that steam roller. "That fucking meaty friend of yours talked to me during the storm and then Sickness escaped!" She screamed back at Nny as he walked back to the bench.

He stood there for a few moments with a contemplate-y look on his face before he spoke once more. "Sickness is the creepy little doll thing that kind of looks like you before you changed your hair?" He finally asked to which Devi responded with an angry nod. This was followed by Johnny uttering a defeated "Oh" and then looking dejectedly at his feet. "Glad to see you two are getting along so well" Senior Diablo commented as he appeared behind the bench. "Oh hey Mr. Satan!" Nny happily exclaimed as he waved to the Prince of darkness.

"Hello Johnny" Satan stated as he motioned for the pair to follow him. "Great! We're all in the same place…now can you explain what you meant by my 'job' on Earth?" Devi asked as she ran to catch up to Satan. "Of course, Johnny you've already heard this so you can just go babble insanely in a corner for a while…" Satan waved Nny off, and instead the killer just slowed his pace until he was several feet behind the pair. "You have undoubtedly noticed that the mortal realm is not as perfect as one would want it to be?" Satan began his explanation with a question to which Devi only nodded in response.

"Well yours, and Johnny's, purpose on the physical realm is to make sure it does not get any worse than it already is…" Satan extrapolated as the trio continued on in a triangular formation. "You are both Flushers, entities chosen to stabilize and maintain the seals on prisons designed to hold the residue of the human negative, in Johnny's case, it is his wall" Satan stopped and motioned for Johnny to come join the conversation. "Now…yes Johnny?" Satan was frustratingly interrupted as Johnny energetically waved his hand back and forth in the air.

"Um, yeah last time I was here you said that it was unlikely that I'd ever be a flusher again…but the wall thing returned just a week or two ago…what gives?" after asking his question Johnny settled down and waited for the answer. "Actually I was just about to get to that" Satan told Johnny who now had a 'whoops' look on his face. "You see Johnny, after your flush four years ago it was discovered that you were oddly efficient at attracting the worst dregs humanity has to offer, taking a lot of the residue with them" Satan commented as a potato shaped demon strolled by.

"Worse still, it was subsequently observed that not even activating a majority of the backup flushers could make up for the deficit and the sick began to build up like never before. You may have noticed the world getting worse than it was before?" Satan's words brought Johnny to remember his travels while he was attempting to rid himself of feeling, things had indeed gotten worse. "And so they brought me back to stop this shit storm?" Johnny asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and pouted slightly. "Yes, and that is where you come in Miss D (horrific car accident type sounds)" Senior Diablo stated as he turned to Devi.

"Despite your first victory with Sickness you were still a target for recruitment by The System" Satan began another monologue as they began to walk once more. "And so it was decided that you and Johnny would be tied to the same lock in order to increase his already magnificent efficiency and to keep him as sane as is possible, which would hopefully prevent another incident like last time. Now all things considered this was a perfect plan" Satan mused of The System as they crossed a street. "However, Johnny here threw a major wrench in their plans when he decided to skip town, leaving no channel through which they could reintroduce themselves to you" Satan explained as he absentmindedly motioned to Devi.

"When he returned and helped you during that particularly nasty storm they practically jumped at the chance to infect you a second time, and thus you were set on the path to insanity" Satan concluded his speech and turned back towards the pair. "Any last questions on this subject?" he asked and after a few moments, Johnny and Devi awkwardly glanced at each other and then shook their heads 'no'. "Excellent! Now Johnny I know you still have some burning questions about your past and your life, and I am still willing to answer them" the Devil offered Johnny, who immediately got the 'go find a cheerleader and saw her legs off' look on his face as he began to think.

"Oh, oh I know! Do you think I could have that neat trench coat I found last time I was here?" Satan just looked at Johnny with a 'really?' look all over his face, Devi just face-palmed. "I am serious Johnny if you have any real questions you'd better ask them now-

_ZZT!_

"*sigh* oh well, do you have any questions?" Senior Diablo asked of Devi as she waited to be revived. "No I don't think so...Oh wait! I-

_ZZT!_

"Flushers are always the most entertaining visitors" Satan said out loud as the damned tormented themselves.

* * *

**A/N:** Yipee! Skippy! Doodly dee! This chapter will certainly not be free! Payments that will be accepted include:

Cash (sequential or not)

Cursed Aztec gold

Credit

Organs (not necessarily yours)

Precious metals / gems

And finally…

Human souls (again, not necessarily yours)


	64. Resurrection

**Chapter 64: Resurrection**

**A/N:** Yay! The world's most murder-y sort-of couple returns to life in this chapter! If your hair didn't "fall" out after last chapter that's because I haven't had the chance to break into your house and shave it off while you sleep!

* * *

Burnt hair

That was the first sensation that Devi was aware of, cracking her eyelids open slightly she reached up to her own head and felt her hair. The first thing she felt was some intense heat and some of her individual hair strands doing that curly up thing it does when you lite it on fire. "Fuck!" she shrieked as she sat up and patted down the sides and back of her head which seemed to be getting the brunt of the heat. By the time she was sure she had put most of it out it had claimed most of her hair, shortening it to about the length she had during her first date with Johnny, only two remaining lengths of hair dangled limply over her face.

The next thing she became aware of was and angry shouting coming from somewhere to her right and hence, she looked over. There she found Nny jumping up and down on the headless corpse of Jimmy as he screamed numerous obscenities to the heavens. As she got up Johnny ran down the stairs and a minute or so later came up with a back pack. He then pulled several grenades from the pack pulled out their pins, and threw them on top of Jimmy's body before running down the stairs. Realizing what just happened Devi soon followed him, when she was nearing the first floor she heard the explosion from above.

As they began to stroll across the floor of the warehouse Devi looked over to Johnny and found that his hair had suffered much more than hers. Instead of some of it burning off it appeared to have just fallen out, leaving twin antenna like chunks left to dangle over his face. "Oh hey! How come you still have most of your hair!?" Johnny loudly remarks as he notices her hair. "I don't know, maybe cause I'm new at…whatever the hell we're supposed to be doing" Devi replies as she follows him through the hallway.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Devi turned to find Sickness running after them. "Jeez! You walked right over me! It's like you were trying to leave me there!" Sickness complaines as Devi picked her up and began carrying her along. "Hey there's something different about you" Devi mused as she looked at the doll's whose hair had changed to resemble Devi's current hairdo. "No there isn't" Sickness denies as she c;imbs onto Devi's shoulder. The three exit the warehouse first to find Johnny's stolen truck reduced to a burned out hulk, and then Tenna's car with the driver side door ajar. "Hey Tenna, wake up!" Devi nudged the sleeping woman, whom then jolted awake.

"Devi! You're alive! That's great!" Tenna excitedly embraced her friend for a few moments. "Hey what happened to your guys' hair?" Tenna asked as Devi walked over to the passenger side door and got in. "It burned off in hell!" Johnny excitedly states as he did that one-eye-bigger-than-the-other thing while getting in the driver side backseat. "Oh hiya Squeegee! Are you okay?" Nny greets the small child as he got into the vehicle. Squee woke with a start before giving the mostly bald maniac a nod to the affirmative. "Oh that's good" the maniac stated as he slams the door behind him.

Tenna, looking incredibly nervous for obvious reasons started the car and began driving away from the ware house. "Hey can I drive?" all the occupants of the car jumped in surprise as Mr. Eff spoke form where he had been sitting on the floor at Squee's feet. "Um, no you can't spooky doughboy person" Tenna responds to the possessed standee. Disappointed, the doughboy looks down at his feet before turning to Johnny and waving nervously. Johnny simply stared at the doughboy for a few moments, one of his eyes twitching insanely, before looking straight ahead.

The rest of the ride was in relative nervous silence, this came to an abrupt end when the car came within sight of Devi and Tenna's apartment complex. "What the fuck happened!?" Devi exclaimed as she got out of the car to get a better look at the smoldering, gapping maw that had replaced her apartment. "Oh yea I almost forgot that creepy guy put some grenades in your apartment!" Tenna absentmindedly explained as she finished parking. As the rest of the humans exited the car Johnny slammed the door in Eff's face, sealing him in with Sickness and Shmee.

The four humans walked through the crowd of people milling about outside the complex in an attempt to find someone who could tell them what was going to happen. "Miss D(fire truck sounds)! Miss D(more fire truck sounds)!" the group collectively turned to find Mrs. Diablo wading through the crowd of people. "I was so worried when I heard about the explosion! Glad to see you're all okay" she spoke as she motioned to the group before giving Nny an odd look, "Who are you?" she finally asked. "This is Johnny…he is an…acquaintance of mine…could you please tell us what's going to happen with the building?" Devi explained before asking the question everyone was thinking.

"Oh well that is the bad news…the city architect said it was too damaged to rebuild, so they're going to have to demolish it" she explained as she pointed to the explosive filled trucks in the distance. "And what is the good news?" Devi asked, knowing she would regret it. "The good news is that we are going to be setting you up in a new complex in the southern district!" Mrs. Diablo cheerfully stated despite that being the seedier portion of the city. Knowing this the adults of the supernatural quartet looked nervously at each other for a while before Johnny got an excited look on his face.

"Um, that's kind of a creepy look you've got going" Tenna nervously pointed out. "Creepy? I was going for happy…oh well, I was just thinking that maybe you could stay at Squeegee's old house for a while…" the maniac stated excitedly as he pointed to the nervous little pre-teen. "I suppose that would work…I would have to look up his address, and then there's the matter of anyone currently living in the house…and if there isn't I'd have to get a spare key from whatever realtor owns the house…" the social worker droned on for a little while about all the steps she would need to take.

"No need for that! I now for a fact that the house is empty; and I can open it from the inside!" Nny triumphantly stated as they began to walk back to Tenna's car. "Wait! Before you go how are you planning to get inside?" Mrs. Diablo called after the group. "There's this neat little tunnel connecting his basement to mine!" Johnny called back as he opened the door and kicked Eff in the face to prevent his escape. A look of surprise crossed the social workers face as she realized she was talking to the actual scary neighbor man.

After about twenty minutes of driving, getting lost, and telling Eff he couldn't drive, the groups vehicle finally pulled up to 779 Alces street. Nny practically jumps out of the car and ran to his house, tripping over a mysteriously human-sized lump in his yard as he went. The rest of the group walks up to the front door and waited for the serial killer to let them in. The oddly haired man did just that a minute or so later and graciously held the door open for all accept Eff, whom he slammed the door on.

"_Well this is just great! Here we are! Back in this nasty house…at least no one's going to tell you to get kidnapped anymore!" _Shmee comments as Squee sat on the couch and looked around the mostly dust coated house. _"You know for a trauma sponge you are kind of messed up…" _the weird skeleton toy in Tenna's hand remarked as the woman also sat down while Nny and Devi leaned against a wall on opposite sides of the room. The group just sort of sat there for a moment or two, unsure of what to do with the situation.

"Well…we should probably start by making this place livable again…" Tenna commented between sneezes after Eff's jump up onto the side table sent a dust cloud into her face. Thus the group broke up; Tenna went to find dust cleaning type-stuff, Eff following her, asking if he could drive the car to the store. Nny, Devi, and Squee entered into the kitchen and began looking through the cupboards. "blech!...How long did you say this house was empty" Devi asked Nny after tasting some stale cereal, whispering to make sure Squee, who was checking the silver ware, didn't hear.

"I dunno…they probably left after abandoning Squeegee…" Nny whispered back as he opened the fridge and recoiled at the smell. "Aw fuck! What the hell did they leave in here!?" Nny exclaimed as he looked at the fuzzy green and brown mass taking up an entire shelf. Suddenly the thing quivered for a moment before leaping up and latching onto Nny's face.

Squee Squee'd

Devi was utterly shocked.

Nny stumbled around the kitchen for a while knocking stuff over before he found the front door and was able to rip the thing off and tossed it into the yard. Taking advantage of this momentary reprieve Nny ran inside and grabbed a leftover grenade from his back pack. When he made it back to the front door the fuzz ball was making its way back to the door, so quickly, he pulled out the pin and tossed the grenade into the things path.

When it found the grenade it began to suck on it as if it were a toddler sucking on a binky.

_BANG!_

The three remained in the door way for a while to make sure none of the surviving chunks still lived. Once they were satisfied that it was truly dead they returned to their previous task.

* * *

**A/N:** Yipee! They live!


	65. A hectic Skool Day

**Chapter 66: A Hectic School Day**

**A/N:** Yeah! Another Squee-centric chapter! This is going to be fun! For us at least…

* * *

Squee sat down at the now familiar lunch table and surveyed its cast of residents for the millionth time. The antichrist sat next to him, eating a sandwich that moaned with the sounds of damnation with every bite. Across from them, ignoring all but her food and her game was Dib's scary-beyond-reason sister, Gaz. A little further down sat Dib and Tak, along with some other mostly inconsequential characters, that in a few sentences will be little more than fodder for the chaos that is Squee's school day.

As Squee munched away at his own, non-damned, sandwich he looked over at the piece of machinery Dib was fiddling with in between bites of his own lunch. The gizmo had the appearance of two mechanical gloves, attached by tubes to a backpack that looks like it was salvaged from his water balloon launching device. "Hey Dib what are you working on?" he asked the possibly insane boy after finishing his lunch.

"It's a ballistic food launcher!" Dib excitedly exclaimed, earning him looks from most of the table's residents. "Why exactly are you building that?" Pepito asked as he finished his own sandwich and tossed the brown paper lunch bag into a garbage can. "It's an offensive weapon against Zim, don't you remember what happened last week?" the scythe-haired boy asked as he absentmindedly waved his fork around.

_FLASHBACK!_

One week ago, that was when a group of whiny parent's demands for healthier food were heard and the school switched to 'organic' choices. Squee himself had initially been quite happy with the possibility of food that wouldn't try to eat him, then he googled 'organic foods' and found out that it was grown in shit, pig shit usually. It seemed Pepito and Gaz also knew this as they had packed their lunches while Dib, Tak, and Zim sat there staring at the relatively normal looking food.

Zim was only sitting at this table because his old one had been destroyed after the old cafeteria food had brought it to ghastly life with intentions of world domination.

And so, the trio with their state-provided lunches sat there, unsure what to do with the new food, Zim was looking back and for the between the tray and other children. "What's the matter space boy? Afraid of the beeeeaaaaannns?" Dib asked, giving and getting odd looks at the long, drawn out word. "Don't be silly Dib-stink! Zim loves eating healthy foods! Oh the health!" the wannabe invader stated before taking a spork-ful of beans into his mouth. After chewing on the food and seeing no ill effects Zim swallowed, smacking his lips a few times to indicate that he loved the food.

"*Gggaaaagkkkh! Whwhrwhaaaaa!*" Zim cried out in surprise as he gripped his neck and then practically flipped over as he fell to the ground. Looking triumphant, Dib peered over the table and began to snicker maliciously. Curious, Tak and a few of the others looked over and found Zim with a grotesquely deformed, pulsating cranium which was leaking a fluid that glowed in time with the pulsations. After seeing this horror, Tak grabbed her untouched tray and dumped it in the garbage.

_END FLASHBACK _(A/N: At this moment I would like to thank the Invader Zim pilot episode for existing)

When Squee came out of his memories he found Dib trying to screw a large tub of beans into the backpack and Tak looking on the whole scene in a condescending manner. "Do you really think this is going to work?" Tak asked as a triumphant click issued forth from the pack. "I know it will work, he's not expecting anything! Just look at him!" and with that Dib pointed over to Zim, who was sitting at a new table eating a sandwich with the irken symbol on it. Dib was right, he didn't appear to be planning anything, the only odd thing was the piggy balloon he had, which was oddly just suspended there, despite the AC unit behind it, it wasn't moving an inch.

"Hey Zim!" Dib was now standing offensively in the middle of an aisle between tables. The invader swallowed the last of his sandwich and then looked up at Dib. "You won't conquer the Earth! Not on my watch!" Dib shouted as he charged up the gloves, and Zim replied with a curt "okay". The rest of the lunch room reverberated with a collective murmur of "Not again" as the kids somewhat eagerly waited for the crazy show to begin. Soon enough, Dib raised his right arm and fired a bolt of supercharged beans at the green misfit.

As the mass of ballistic legumes barreled towards him, Zim remained calm and only tugged on the string of his balloon, which promptly pulled him straight upwards. He then landed in an invisible seat as the pig transformed into minimoose. "Now…For your DOOOOOOMMM!" Zim declared as his invisible thing charged forward, destroying a populated table in the process. Squee shook with fear as the thing made two giant steps forward before it jerked on something, shimmered and then appeared in the form of a giant, chicken legged robot with those cannons from bludgeonball haphazardly attached to its back.

"GIR! I thought I told you to unwind the power cable!...GIR?" Zim asked as he opened the cockpit to look at the unmanned spool of extension cord he had attacked there.

Cut to: Teachers' Lounge

GIR is on a table, rolling around like cute dogs are wont to do. A majority of the teachers are just gushing over the sheer adorability of the scene. Meanwhile, in the background, Bitters sneers at the cuteness before leaving.

Back in the lunch room

Dib has fired some more beans which Zim is forced to dodge due to the open cockpit on his vehicle, the bean bolts impact the wall where it blasts a good sized hole and rains drywall down upon the other students. Slamming the hatch shut Zim charges up his own cannons and fires a series of giant asparagus at Dib, who dodges most of them but is forced to blast the last out of the air with a larger bean blast. This battle continues on for a while, pieces of wall get blasted to bits while children fly this way and that, blown off their feet by food-splosions

Squee, who was fortunate enough to be hiding underneath one of the still intact tables witnessed the final moments of the fight. Dib turned the power dial on his machine all the way up to its highest setting. Meanwhile all the meat in the lunch room is pulled towards Zim's still functioning cannon (the other having been destroyed by beans) where it congealed into a giant meatball. The pair then let loose their respective attacks which met in midair, the two opposing forces fought for a while before violently detonating, destroying most of the cafeteria.

Squee crawls out from underneath a pile of unconscious school children to find a massive disaster area spreading out before him. Both Zim and Dib are lying unconscious with both their machines reduced to meat and bean infused scrap. Wanting to escape any sort of punishment Squee silently tip toes over the other children towards the entrance of the cafeteria, unfortunately he finds himself face to face with Bitters. The spooky teacher, however, ignores him, and hovers over to Dib who upon awakening, screams in terror at the sight of the menacing teacher.

Cut to: Space

Despite that one movie's claim, we can hear Dib's scream in space, in fact we follow it all the way to the Irken armada. On The Massive, the Tallest's are eating snacks while watching the bombardment of yet another conquered world. "Did you hear something?" Red asks after Dibs scream passes, Purple only answers with a shrug.

In Squee's Class room

We see the chalkboard form little Todd's point of view it is covered with some writing yet Bitters is not hear yet, and is likely still tormenting Dib. The board still shows a certain degree of doom as written on it is this:

Any accident: 1 in 6  
A motor vehicle accident: 1 in 9  
A firearm: 1 in 14  
Poisoning: 1 in 18  
A falling object (terrestrial): 1 in 27

A falling object (non-terrestrial): 1 in 4,900  
Drowning in a bathtub: 1 in 26  
Being caught in or between objects: 1 in 32  
Suffocation by a plastic bag: 1 in 130  
Lightning: 1 in 232,000

Squee being one of the smarter and better behaved students, records these rather depressing facts, while the rest of the class just goes insane. Numerous paper airplanes begin flying around the class, some aimed specifically for the teacher's desk, others doing rather impressive stunts. Bitters then materializes out of the shadow's, causing all the planes to spontaneously combust in midair. Bitters stares menacingly at the students for a few moments before beginning to speak.

"Class on the board you see the probability of you all dying horribly in various, horrible ways" she paused and waited for the rest of the students to retrieve their notebooks. "Your homework for tonight is to use these to fill out these packets" and with that thick packets of paper titled 'Probability of Doom' fall from the ceiling, a particularly rowdy student gets a much thicker packet which causes his desk to collapse. Having used up the rest of school time with delivering cruel and unusual punishment onto Dib, Bitters sits in her chair while the clock counts down the last seconds.

Minutes later Squee is standing on the front porch of the school waiting to see if someone will pick him up. Not seeing the familiar brownish car, Squee walks down the steps and begins to walk in the direction of home. "Hey Squeegee!" an all-to-familiar voice calls out as the small boy passes the kid who got the super packet and is trying desperately to drag his book bag along the ground. "Where's Devi?" Squee asks Nny as the small child walks up to the mass murder standing beside a blue car.

"Oh her crazy boss forced her to take some weird hours at the 24/7, so I am picking you up today" Nny states as he and Squee got into the car that once belonged to an undead stalker. "Hey! Why does he get to sit in the front?" An irate voice called from the back. Squee looked over his shoulder to find a certain possessed doughboy forced into one of those car seats for toddlers. "Because he's tall enough and won't ask me to drive every five seconds!" Nny exclaimed as he narrowly avoided running over some children. "If I were driving it'd take us that long to get across town!" Eff attempted to persuade Nny of potential time benefits. "Yeah! And five days to clean out all of the pedestrian bits!" Nny shouted back as they drove home.

* * *

A/N: Huh…this is mostly an Invader Zim type chapter but it is what I felt like writing so…hear it is, not much you can do to change the fact that it's here.


	66. Yet another Panel Chapter

**Chapter 66: Yet another Panel Chapter**

**A/N:** Yep another chapter featuring the hilariously dysfunctional cast of reporters, law enforcement type people, and a psychic with mysterious links to Johnny's past.

* * *

The same jaunty tune plays as numerous CGI'd shapes come together to form the local news stations logo. Somewhere the donut munching sounds in the background makes one of the viewer's go out for donuts. Soon enough we are treated to the normal sight of four people sitting around a table. This group consists of the Psychic, Mrs. Bueller, An unnamed reporter, and the local stereotyped, donut munching police chief. The fourth person in this hodge-podge of people is an F.B.I. agent who has the appearance of a heavily medicated person.

Head Reporter (HRp)—"Welcome Viewers to another installment of The Vasquez City Discussion" the reporter started as she fiddled with some papers to give the appearance of doing something important. "We would just like to thank the citizens of our tormented city for being so patient with the police and F.B.I."

Krapfen (Kr)—"Yes, save for a few isolated incidents you have all been fairly level headed about our inability to capture the murderers" the police chief said as he nibbled on a donut.

HRp—"And we are all deeply appreciative of your efforts" she stated as she flipped through some more papers. "Now, could you please tell us about some of the latest capture attempts?"

Agent Fowl (Fowl)—"Well as we have mentioned before the male killer seems rather fond of the Brainfreezy drinks sold at the 24/7 on [insert street name]" despite the meds he was clearly not at 100%. "Now in the past we have tried to place armed, undercover agents there…those however, failed so this time around we tried something different" he paused as he pulled out some pictures of the inside of the 24/7.

AT THE 24/7

Devi is sitting at her normal cashiers location at the counter, watching the Television placed directly to her right. She had never been aware of the cop's attempts to use this place as a trap for Nny until the Agents came in a week ago to discuss the plan with employees. Of course, she had been moved to the day shift so she had not been told full details of the undoubtedly complex and convoluted plot.

_DING!_

Taking her eyes off the TV she found the man of the hour standing in the door way eyeing the freezy machine. As he walked past her he gave her a nervous glance before his gaze migrated to the TV and stayed there until he could no longer see the screen. Moments later he returned with a full to the brim jumbo brainfreezy, he then fished money out of his pocket while he continued to stare at the television.

"Hey Johnny what are you staring at?" Devi asked as she received the monetary compensation for the frozen beverage. "It's that Psychic lady" he said, pointing at the screen. "I know her, from somewhere else…I just can't remember where!" he exclaimed as he squinted at the screen. As he stared into the screen he mumbled something that almost sounded French, instead of pointing this out Devi too looked back to the television.

BACK IN THE NEWSROOM

Fowl—"as you all know the Male murderer will often visit this store to purchase a brainfreezy" the agent stated as he pointed to a picture of the 24/7. "Past attempts to capture him have involved armed guards and other types of people trained to shoot to kill" he paused as a picture of fallen comrades came up on the screen.

Fowl—"First we found the rudest person we could find…In this case a convicted blue-collar con-man named Keller" he paused to show the man's mug shot. "And then offered him either a bunch of money or a sentence reduction to stand around the 24/7 and be himself" Agent Fowl finished and sat back down.

Kr—(swallows donut whole) "the whole idea behind finding the rudest person is that rudeness and crudity seem to be two of the things that set the killer off" the large man was somehow able to stand unassisted. "Our plan was to either set him off or to have someone their watching out for any activity, so that our cruisers would know when to go and which car the killer had gotten into"

HRp—"I see, and how did your plan go?"

Fowl & Kr—"Weeeellllllllllll"

CUT TO: DASHBOARD VIDEO

Off in the distance we can see Nny's blue car, the car being driven by the cops follows behind him at a fair distance. All seems to be going well until a loud sound comes from the engine compartment. The hood bulges out a few inches before imploding and tearing open, revealing a mass of liquid metal where the engine once was.

IN THE 24/7

Nny stares wide eyed at the TV screen as the image plays over for some of the other cars that were also following him. "That asshole was bait?" he exclaimed in surprise, for he thought the guy was being an as purely of his own accord. "Apparently he was, and apparently cars implode when they try to follow you" Devi responded as they both went back to watching.

IN THE NEWSROOM

HRp—"Oh, well keep trying, I'm sure you'll catch him eventually!" the reporter attempted to cheer everyone up. "Uh…so Mrs. Bueller, do you have anything to add on the psychic front?" the reporter asked of the old woman.

Bueller—"Yes I do, you recall that earlier there was a weakened emotional connection between the two?" the psychic got nods of agreement from the other panel members. "Well back then the connection was nearly broken, like two people that had broken up…"

Bueller—"I bring this up because at recent crime scenes I have actually sensed the connection growing slightly stronger…it now resembles the connection I'd expect to see between good friends" she finished he speech about the emotions of serial killers and allowed the others to process this information.

They did not get a chance because Agent Fowl chose that exact moment to have a mental breakdown. He began to sob and moan, occasionally mumbling 'family' or 'murder'. After nearly tearing out his hair he fell over on the ground in a sobbing mass of manly meat. This outburst prompted the station to go to standby.

IN THE 24/7

Nny and Devi are still at the counter, though neither of them are now watching the TV, instead they are now nervously trying to avoid the others gaze. Devi was staring awkwardly at the floor of the store, while Nny just looked in some random direction. He would make occasional glances back towards her though, and he was in one of these glances when something happened.

_DING!_

And with that generic sound Devi's crazy boss Vince entered the store and began to act like a complete prick to the customers. "Hey! No loitering!" he exclaimed at Nny as he walked up to the counter. "I was just talking to Devi…" Nny tried to explain to the irrational man. "I don't care if you're joined at the hip! No loitering!" he pointed Nny towards the door before retreating to the back room.

Not wanting to get blood or body parts in his drink the killer complied and headed towards the doors. However his march out ward halted as he opened the door, hovering there for a moment or two he then turned around. "Hey Nny, What's wrong?" Devi asked of the man whom was once again standing at the counter, and looked as if he were drowning in a nervous sweat. "Well I was just wondering if maybe…maybe…would you like to go see a movie with me Saturday?" Nny felt as if he would faint as the words left his mouth.

Ambiguous Ending!

* * *

**A/N:** Yipee! This chapter sure is interesting ain't it? I can't wait to see what happens


	67. A Guide to your Psychotic Boss

**Chapter 67: A Guide to Your Psychotic Boss**

**A/N:** this is going to greatly resemble the film 'Horrible Bosses' only instead of three there is only one…and there will obviously be less sex, or sexual harrasement…though the latter will probably be mentioned…also there will be less accidental murder and more purposeful murder, So this is pretty much the opposite of Horrible Bosses, I just recently saw that movie and it was the first thing to pop into my head as I was typing this chapter...Mr. Samsa shall make an appearance.

* * *

As consciousness slowly returns to the man he became aware of a faint tugging in each and every one of his limbs. Opening his eyes reveal that his limbs are strapped into a large machine that seems intent on twisting his limbs into uncomfortable positions before slicing him up with several large circular saw blades. Looking around the room the machine was in only made him panic more, for the rest of the place was spattered in blood and partially rotten people bits. He at first tried to remember what had brought him to this horrible place, but when he could not find the memory he began to shout.

"HELP! HELP!" he shouts at the top of his lungs and then waits for a response. After a while faint shouts could be heard from the hallway outside his room. "No one's coming to help us dickwad!" one such shout states. "Why should anyone help you!? I'm younger! I don't deserve to die like this!" another shout came. "I'm prettier than you! I should get help! A third voice answered the second one. "Would someone please use their brain for something other than keeping their head from collapsing!? Even if help does come that crazy bitch'll just kill it!" a fourth voice observed.

And thus that simple, single worded shout filled the previously silent hallway with a cacophony of people arguing why they deserved to live and others did not. "WOULD ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" a female voice screeches after a few minutes, and the place fell silent. The sound of footsteps trudging down the hallway entered his ears as slowly he began to panic, this panic faded slightly when the footsteps became paired with a red haired female walking into the torture room he was being held in. "Employee #32! I am so glad to see you! Now get me out of this thing!" he shouted after he recognized the woman.

"Wait, did you just call me Employee #32?" the female paused halfway between him and the door. "Yeah! Cause you're the 32nd employee I've ever had, all the others quit for some odd reason…" he explained as he waited to be freed. "Okay…you know those others quit because of you" the woman stated after a few moments of contemplation. "No they didn't! They quit because they were a bunch of lazy bums!" Vince shouted as he wondered why he was not free yet. "No...They quit because you're a crazy asshole! All the shit that you pull sends most people running for the hills!"

"Name one employee who quit cause of something I did!" he challenged her, she thought for a few seconds before answering. "Shelley, Shelley quit because you could not take a hint" Devi answered the man's question, seeing his confusion, she explained. "She quit around the end of April, your constant one sided flirting was verging on sexual harassment" she tried to jog his memory, then a look of remembrance came over him. "Oh yeah, now I remember her, Employee #26 was so hot! I still don't get why she wasn't interested in me…" Vince remembered all the times she had rejected him.

"Well for one, she was lesbian, that and you didn't even know her name while you were harassing her…did you even know her name before I said it?" Devi explained and then asked another question. "…To be honest 32 I thought her name was Mary" Vince finally said after pretending that he did know Shelley's name before this. "Okay then, next question…what is my name?" Devi asked. "Your name doesn't matter now 32! Just get your boss out of this contraption!" he screamed as he attempted to wiggle out of his machine. "Tell you what, if you can remember my name, I'll let you out" Devi said with a devious smile on her face.

"Well okay then…Is it…Alex?" he asked after attempting to remember, he got a head shake 'no' as a response.

"Gretchen?"-he pondered, and got another negative reply.

"Delilah?"

"You have the 'D' right" Devi let him have the hint as he was clearly not going to get it any time soon.

"Okay…so Darlene?"-obviously wrong.

"Daisy?"

"Dena?"-nope.

"Davina?"—He's never going to get it!

"D(victim in hallway screams)?" he asked after a long pause, this time he got a different response. "Fucking hell! Why does that always happen!?" Devi shouted in frustration. "Every single time someone goes to say my last name something always drowns it out!" Devi turned to the hallway. "ASSHOLES! CAT LADY'S! THAT **FUCKING** CHIHUAHUA! IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T WANT MY NAME TO BE HEARD! EVEN IF **I **SAY IT!" she turned back towards Vince. "D(more victims screams)! D('doorbell' of 777)! D(agonized screams of door-to-door salesman)!" after this screaming session Devi sits on a nearby stool to catch her breath.

"Ha! I at least got part of your name right! No let me go! You promised!" Vince was surprised that he got it right. "Well I'm sorry about getting your hopes up but I sort of lied about letting you go" Devi stated as she calmed down. "Why!?" he questioned why his employee was not aiding him. "Well for one, you're a complete asshole, and-" Devi was cut short by her bosses screams. "Oh hell no! There is no way I've been an ass towards you!" the man tried to argue. "No way!? What about the freakish hours? You're always spontaneously changing my hours like it's some sort of twisted game!" she screamed back at Vince. "And then there's all the stupid deductions, all the idiotic things you take out of my pay check for no **fucking **reason!" she continued to rant.

"oh…Well still that's no reason to just leave me here!" at this statement a devious smile overcame Devi. "Oh I'm not just going to leave you here" Devi stated maliciously as she walked over to a small lever near the wall. "What the fucks that supposed to mean!? I am your boss! No get me out of this contraption bitch!" Vince continued to struggle against the restraints as Devi grabbed the lever.

_CLICK!_

And with that the restraints on Vince's limbs twisted them 360 degrees making him unleash a scream of anguish moments before the circular saws rise up and slice him in half several different ways. Feeling quite content that her crazed asinine boss is now most assuredly dead Devi collects his blood and brought it to the wall room. Once there she pulled a stool up in front of the plaster monstrosity and began to coat it in blood. Once she was satisfied that the new coat would keep the monster quite happily contained until Johnny adds his coat she turns around and heads for the stairs.

After climbing about two flights of stairs she hears a skittering on the next landing and looks around for the sounds source. "Well hello there Mr. Samsa" she says to the cockroach as she crouches down to 'eye' level with the possibly immortal bug, Devi though she heard a tiny voice say something about getting to work, but dismisses it as insanity. The little vermin simply continues scampering around the landing occasionally gnawing on a piece of victim while Devi watches for a little bit.

"Immortal cockroach my ass!"

_SQUISH!_

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**A/N:** Yipee! This chapter is penultimate! And pretty neat!


	68. Another Date?

**Chapter 68: Another Date!?**

**A/N:** Here it comes! You can't wait can you! Weeelllllll tough shit! You're just going to have to sit there and read this freaking authors note where I ramble endlessly about stuff, and things too!...now I can't think of anything to say...

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'Tis twilight in Vasquez City as we zoom in on house 779, there is a brown beat up car in the driveway. Leaning on the driver side door is a familiar, red haired woman who is obviously extremely tense. She is doing various, nervous type things, like tapping her foot and whatnot, she is clearly uneasy about the events of later tonight.

_SQUEAK!_

Devi looks back at the house she has been occupying for the last few weeks and finds that all too familiar squeak toy being held out a window by her friend. _"Tenna I don't think now is the best time…"_ she faintly hears the trauma sponges words float through the air towards her. Dejected the hand retreats back into the house; Tenna then closes the window immediately after. At that moment the door of the neighboring house flies open and the equally familiar, but much skinnier occupant walks out and towards the car and Devi.

Nny walks up to the car and his partner in crime, He paused for a few moments before starting to walk over to the passenger side. "Wait, Before we go I just want to make sure of something" Devi said, indicating he should follow her to the trunk. She pops the rear end compartment of the vehicle and places several of the blades she now keeps on her person in the trunk before telling Nny to do the same.

Nny looks nervously between the trunk and Devi, understanding why this has to happen but still somewhat reluctant. Several minutes later the trunk is nearly full of blades, throwing knives, bizarre miniature torture devices, and various other instruments of death. "How do you carry all of that around?" Devi asks after slamming the trunk closed. "I don't know…" the maniac says with a shrug as they hop into the car and drove off to the 24/7 to get some snacks.

When they arrive at the familiar store Nny went over to the refrigerators to purchase some drinks while Devi stayed near the front to purchase some snacks. "So how's your date so far?" her new, less crazed boss asks from behind the counter. "We haven't really done much yet…but it's okay" Devi answered as she placed her purchases on the counter. Nny then came over next and placed a pair of fizz-wizzes on the counter.

After purchasing these items they walked back to her car and drove in the direction of a movie theater. "So…what kinds of movies are showing to night?" Nny uneasily asked after a few moments. "I think its B horror or sci fi movies" Devi responds to the question in an equally uneasy manner. "Oh, those're always, eh…neat" the maniac mumbles to himself as the car continues down the highway. "mmmmhuh" was the only answer she could utter as they pulled into the theater parking lot. She shoves the snacks into her purse and they entered the cinema, they then stepped back to look at the titles of available movies.

"Ooo this looks kinda cool!" Nny stated, pointing to the poster that had only a zombie-like hand with sharp splinters sticking out of it. "Yeah, I suppose it does" Devi answered while reaching for her wallet. She bought the tickets and soon afterward they walked into the snack area of the cinema and purchased a small bag of popcorn. "Hey, are you sure that's all you want?" the moronic looking cashier asked. "Yeah we're sure" Devi answers but the guy's eyes narrowed. "You're not those kinda people who bring their own shit to the movies are you?" the guy asks suspiciously.

"Nooo" Nny replies in a way that would have made a normal person deeply suspicious. "Okee dokee then!" and thus the guy returned to his job and Nny and Devi walked to the showroom indicated on their tickets. For most of the first half of the movie this date was going particularly well, they just sat there in the dark taking in this cinematic experience and narrowly avoiding that 'reach for the popcorn at the same time' thing on several occasions. Then, stuff started to happen.

The guy behind them, who had previously been trying to apologize to his girlfriend for something, began to shout at the screen as if the characters could hear him. "No! Don't go out! It ain't safe!" the man said in a bizarre combination of a shout and whisper. "That ain't gonna work! No! awwwww you shoulda listened to me fella!" the man said as the character he was addressing dropped the bags of ice that were shielding him from the monster. "See that girl? Bad stuff happens when no one listens to me!" he said to his girl as the creature attacked the ice guy's friends.

The guy continued to switch between yelling at the screen and talking to his pissed off girlfriend. "Hey! Could you please stop talking? We're trying to watch the end of the movie!" Nny angrily exclaimes while trying to keep his voice down, several other movie goers uttered approvals of this suggestion. "Well I'm gonna have to decline weirdo, ya see, I have this thing were I don't listen to people with stupid haircuts!" the guy exclaimed loudly, while Nny rubbed his hands on his head, remembering the two surviving tuffs and the fuzz that had started to grow back.

Frustrated, Nny turns back around and reaches into his boot only to remember all of his knives were in Devi's trunk. "Sorry about that…" Devi whispers as the guy continues his rant. "That's okay…" Nny absentmindedly says as he digs through what was left of the popcorn until he finds a particularly salty piece. He then turns around and flicks it directly into the man's right eye. After a few moments he screams, jumps up and attempts to run down the stairs and out of the showroom but trips on the stairs, hits his head a couple times, and remains silent for the rest of the movie.

Tossing their garbage they leave the theater while the irritating man's girlfriend called 911. As they close the doors on Devi's car the ambulance arrived, the EMT's go in grab the guy, come out, and then, for no particular reason, the ambulance explodes. Nny and Devi were already quite far away when this happened so they only really saw the fire ball. "So, now what do you want to do?" Devi asks as she pulls over for a fire truck. "I don't know, maybe we could just drive around until we find something to do?" the maniac answers in a way that was also a question.

"Okay" Devi replies in an extremely unsure manner as she pulls away from the curb and continues on their little drive. They never found something truly interesting to do, unless you count freaking out about where they ended up at the end of their drive. It was Mystical Hill, the place where they talked about creative re-routing on their first date. Soon enough they were both out of the car and sitting, legs curled up to their chests, on the hood of Devi's car.

"How exactly did we end up here?" Nny asks after a few minutes. "I have absolutely no fucking clue" Devi answered back almost nervously. A few more minutes of anxious silence passed before either of them spoke up. "So why did you feel the need to ask me out" Devi asked of the insane mass murderer. "Well…I'm not quite sure, I just felt like we should try again" the killer explained as he nervously shimmies up to the roof of the vehicle. "That sounds a little cheesy" Devi responded with equal nerves. "Yeah, but we've gotten along these last couple weeks without killing each other, and I **do **feel a lot saner than I've felt in a long time, so I just kinda went for it…"

"You know I'm normally that kind of impulsive" Devi responded as she stretched out over the hood of the car. "Yeah I know…um, ehhh, I am sorry for attacking you last time, you know that, right?" Nny asks while a feeling of nervous nervousness washes over him. "I know, your little message managed to at least get that through" Devi responded, remembering the half-psychotic, rambling message he delivered over the phone four years ago. "Yeah well as Nail Bunny keeps saying, it wasn't a very good apology…" the maniac mumbled as he waved to the air over his right shoulder.

Devi had still yet to see this 'Nail Bunny' and simply assumed it was a product of normal insanity, and not supernatural creativity eating plague-thingies.

"I would also like to apologize for Sickness" Nny continued, Devi giving him an odd look. "You now they probably would have found me anyway" she reiterated something Sickness and Meat had said while trying to bother her about the upcoming date. "I don't trust those two! And besides they **did** find you through me! I still feel like it's my fault!" Nny rants for a little bit before calming to let Devi talk, she tries to reassure the man with the weird haircut.

Not entirely comforted by her words Nny curls up into a tighter ball and remained silent for several minutes, staring past Devi out into the city. Devi moved up to the roof beside him and began to speak. "Nny, you're too hard on yourself! You weren't trying to infect me with sickness, it just happened" Nny gave her a worried look, Devi responded with the most reassuring smile she could muster. "And besides I don't have it as bad as you do! So just stop worrying and enjoy the view!" Devi says as she motioned to the city far below. At this Johnny lifts his head off of his knees and did just that, but all he could think about was that somewhere down there, there were people he'd probably be murdering right now.

He lets out a harsh sigh as he relaxes somewhat and looks up to the sky. "What's wrong?" Devi asked as she looked over to her clearly distressed friend. "Nothing, it's just, I'm happy right now and I'd expect to stop thinking about murder" he talked as he shifted to look at Devi. "But I look down at that place and all I can think about are the assholes who would make fun of how I look or push me around just cause they feel like it, and how I'd maim them with snack foods!" the serial killer explains to his equally murderous date.

"Well murder is sort of our thing now" Devi replie. "Huh, yeah I guess so…" Nny says in turn. Then another awkward silence falls over the Mystical hilltop as the two watch the cars rush through the city. "You're really happy right now?" Devi finally asked after a few minutes of anxiously avoiding each other's gaze. Nny quickly and nervously shakes his head in a positive response. "Well I'm happy too" Devi responds as she turns to face him. "That's good, very good" he whispers in reply as they drew closer and closer together.

Their lips met for a few seconds, then pulled away slightly. They look into each other's eyes for a few moments before kissing again, this time moving into a much deeper kiss as the rest of the world around them seems to fade, leaving the pair alone with each other's for what felt like forever. Coming out of it they stayed for a few moments with their faces near each other's, but then Devi shifted again and rested her head on Nny's bony shoulder. Nny himself crings in a delayed fashion as this physical contact happened, but quickly calmed as her realized that he was truly happy.

FADE OUT!

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**A/N:** Well it's finally over! I can't seem to shake the feeling that that last scene is somewhat sappy. Oh Well! Now I am off to write an Invader Zim fanfiction!


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